Sorry I missed it ...
Last year, my uncle married a woman that I still haven't met.

The wedding was originally going to be held in another uncle's backyard, but they had a huge barney (which involved one uncle banging on the others' door in the middle of the night, screaming death threats, and the other trying to kill himself ...)

Anyway, he decides to hold it in his own backyard.
A small, uncultivated, patch of dirt behind a Housing Commission house (so it wasn't exactly salubrious).
Mum told me the best bit was, when the fat, ugly bride walked down the concrete back steps, towards the minister, and walked past the overflowing rubbish bin, complete with swarms of flies ...

They even had a tarpaulin spread over the clothesline as a 'marquee'. Classy stuff.

As I said, still haven't met her, but my cousin's boyfriend said his reaction upon first seeing her was, "What the FUCK is that??"
(Celerydemon, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 14:36, Reply)

Wedding Speeches
The worst opening to a wedding speech that I've heard of was when the Best Man (who had previously dated the bride) began with "I've known Smelly Meat for quite some time". Apparently this had been her nickname in the time between the Best Man and the Groom. One table (far corner, also former members of the rugby team) found it hilarious. Didn't go down so well elsewhere.....

Also, at a wedding last year where I was usher, the Groom refused all suggestions that he pre-write a speech, as he 'always winged it at work'. After a pretty shambolic 5 minutes littered with half forgotten punch lines and missed cues, it ended with "I think I'll stop there, it's all gone wrong".

Only my second ever post, so frankly I'm surprised that it lasted this long.....
(Forecast Monkey, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 14:21, Reply)

Unsuitable Wedding songs
Yeah I know it's not strictly on topic and it's my first post, but in reply to barrythief, there's plenty you could have:

"Shotgun Wedding" or
"Dancing with Tears in My Eyes" by Ultravox

for example. Also I'd give Jennifer Rush's "Power of Love" a miss, not because of content but because it's shit.
( milkybarnick is calming down Boris on, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 14:18, Reply)

In reply to Barrytheif
Been to a few wedding in the last couple of years but they have all been pretty tame affairs bar me telling one best mate that the wedding we were at (a mutual best mates) was dead posh and the free booze was great (bit of a snub as his wasn't! Anyway to the point of hte post bad choice of first wedding dance got to be Dead Kennys "too drunk to fuck" not seen it done yet but i'll be right up there wrecking with the bride when it happens!
(Druss, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 14:15, Reply)

Sisters Wedding
Before hand i'd made a bet with my dad that it'd not last a year... i won this bet TWICE

But i digress, at my sisters wedding everything seemed to be going ok. I hated the groom, pretty much since i'd laid eyes upon him and even thou i don't care much for my sister i figured out that she could do better than this twunt.

Usual rubbish, speaches etc etc. The bar opens! Hoorah, the highlight of the day!!
I proceed to get stuck in, anything went, but Stella and little sausage rolls were the order of the day.

The spliff didn't help....

Things get worse.

I'm with my older sister and we're known for getting hammered. I loose count of the ammount of beer i've drunk (somewhere between 18 and 21 pints of Stella, shots and spliffage)

BUT.. i'm holding it together. I can walk and i can slur so i think i'm ok. We leave, the bride and groom are at the door saying goodnight to people. The groom thinks that i'm all tearful because i've lost my sister.. he pats me on the shoulder and says "don't worry i'll look after her..." BING for a split second i instantly sober up and reply

"Don't worry half of your friends have already looked after her"

DOH... my dad hoists me over the shoulder to avoid me getting my head punched in and runs to the car, he's laughing so hard that he crashes the car on the way back from the car park

Apols about length / girth etc
(ntmb, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 14:00, Reply)

In July
last year, my good friend got married (he gave me away at my wedding). All of their kids were there (5 between 'em and I'm considered a daughter) and various grandkids.
The groom is English, and all of his family flew over for the wedding, and we'd managed to get in touch with the brides estranged lesbian sister and she was there as well. Lots of fun was being had, until the groom's brother pushed him into the swimming pool. On the way in, he managed to break two ribs and suffered internal damage to his stomach. Poor sod was in hospital for 3 days afterwards.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 13:58, Reply)

Not happened yet but...
a rather daffy northern friend of mine once made it known that when she gets married she would like "You've lost that loving feeling" as her first dance

W
T
F
?

it's the same with people who have the Police's "I'll Be Watching You" (a song about Sting's suspicions of his wife's infidelity) and "I Will Always Love You" - a song about leaving your partner.

thinking about it, "what's the most unsuitable first dance song at a wedding" could be an entirely new qotw
(barrythief, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 13:57, Reply)

Woops!
My best man/brothers wedding speech starts thusly, 'As everyone knows *name deleted* is three months pregnant...'. No dear brother, they didn't know that.. i laughed like a drain, the miserable cow i married wasn't best pleased though! HA!
(Lord DooDah, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 13:54, Reply)

Breakfast In Bed
I used to work as a waiter in a fairly posh Hotel. (aged about 17)

One of my duties was to take the newlywed couple breakfast in bed for the morning after.

I was used to having to knock loudly above the din of squelching and giggles, and then leaving the tray outside.

I was also used to the groom opening the door in just boxers/tshirt or bride in just tshirt to snatch the tray away - fair enough.

I did not expect the time when the groom opened the door in boxers and asked me to bring the tray in to the table (fair enough - bride must be in the shower).

No. Bride was on the bed playing with herself and wanted some fresh meat to join in the fun, and didn't hesitate in saying so! (yes with full co-operation and approval of new hubby)

Me being at work, very inexperienced (read nil) and very shy (not any more) ran for my life!!

Wouldn't turn that offer down again though - she was spanky gorgeous.

No apologies for length, girth, bend or flavour - the ladies love it!
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 13:48, Reply)

oh, crap
I behave very well at functions as i don't drink. I just get to watch other people do it.
last year i went with my boyfriend to the wedding of two friends of his that he'd known since school. They were all in bands together and grew up listening to Pixies, Metallica, Ramones, etc. I was wearing a i-give-up-i'll-take-that dress which i HATED.
The groom, who i'd met briefly once before, got pissed at took a shine to me in my hideous outfit and got a bit gropey. Knight in shining armour boyfriend pulled him away and told the DJ to start up.
He started playing the Spice Girls.
The bride, who was thoroughly arseholed, walked up and screamed at the daft git for this sacrilege. Daft git looked through his record collection and realised he had to think fast.
Cue an entire night of The Rasmus on a loop.
Oh god the nightmares.

None of my friends are married. Nor planning to. I thought you were supposed to go to weddings all the time in your twenties? Bastards. No respect for those wanting to fall over and behave like twunts.

No apologies, only love for the inches - you have to take what you can, darlings
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 13:45, Reply)

My wedding
Yes, the stupidist thing ever to be witnessed is that bit when you say.....

"I do"

Its just after the bit about living together regardless of health or wealth or what ever life throws at you. Well my wife seems to have forgotten all of that and asked me to leave this morning!

And you know I dont feel that bad about it.
( Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 13:26, Reply)

At my girlfriend's brother's wedding
I was the only usher and spent the day running around with a thousand and one jobs to do. Everything was going fine however at the wedding breakfast I was sat next to their elderly grandmother. Everyone knows that she likes a drink or three, but on this occasion no-one, especially me was prepared for the fact that every five minutes or so there would be a nudge of my elbow and a glass waved under my nose for a refill! She proceeded to do nothing but drink all day and had to be put to bed very early pissed as a fart!
Oh well we get to do it all over again next August when my girlfriend and I get married.
(Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez is seriously considering a shorter username, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 13:13, Reply)

Right Royal Mistake
I was invited to a friend's wedding last year. She was getting married to a young man who happened to be in the Metropolitan Police's "Royal Protection" group.

I've never been much of a fan of royalty, so in retrospect drinking a shitload of free booze may have been a mistake. I'm told I asked a (very large) off-duty Royal Protection guy whether he'd ever wanted to be a "real policeman". Very nearly started a fight.

If you're reading this, Jo, I'm very sorry.

Oh, also I was one of the last to leave the bar and the Queen's Piper, who was there, told me to "fuck off", because he was trying to pull this blonde woman and I was getting in the way.
(fogbat, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 13:00, Reply)

Denty's Wedding
In Manchester in my youth I had the dubious pleasure to be best man at my mates wedding. This being my life it had to be the second most weird wedding I ever attended (the weirdest was my own but I'm trying to forget that one...).

Bear with me here - this tales gets quite convoluted. This tale started when I got a phone-call from Denty telling me that his GF had dumped him. He was in pain and in a bad way. So I upped sticks from the North East and headed to Manchester to look after him. When I arrived we went on the piss and stayed on it for 6 weeks. I can hardly remember a thing about that bender only that it involved lots of drinking, lots of slutty women and a not inconsiderable amount of drugs. When we finally came round it was to find that Denty had somehow managed to get himself engaged!

Anyway, Denty being Denty decided to go ahead with the marriage as quickly as possible and we trotted down to the registry office to get the paperwork sorted out and get the deed done in double quick time. The bride and groom just wanted a quick and dirty wedding with nobody being told about it(no family, no friends no hassle) so we arranged the wedding for the following Friday. Friday rolls around and the four of us (me, Denty, his bride and her best friend) headed for the registry office. We got there and the most surreal service in the world took place. The bride was wearing a duffle coat. Me and Denty were wearing black leathers and the maid-of-honour was wearing a fucking black cloak and looked like a witch.

All through the ceremony I kept whispering to Denty out of the side of my mouth. "It's not too late.-If you run now you still make it. If she tries to chase you I'll trip her.." Causing the groom to burst into fits of giggles. Eventually the ceremony drew to a close and the Registrar said "You may now kiss the bride!
Denty looked up at her and said "Do I *have* to?" Getting his first slap of his married life.

Ceremony over we headed downstairs to find a bar and a drink. Now unknown to Denty I'd decided that it just wasn't on to keep his wedding a secret from all of our friends and so I'd hatched yet another cunning plan. I'd arranged for all of our mates to turn up outside the registry office with bottles of Newcastle Brown Ale (Denty's favourite tipple) and, when we appeared after the wedding, to shake them up and spray the happy couple champagne style. A good plan. With one teeny flaw.

What I'd failed to take into account was that Manchester's registry office is a bloody big place and there were several other weddings going on at the same time. The place was packed with Brides in white dresses, men in suits and women in all their finery. Cue 40 pissed up bikers appearing and spraying gallons of stinking brown ale all over the various wedding parties and the scene was set for a fight of fucking biblical proportions!

There brides crying, women screaming - enraged fathers and dripping wet grannies. Knots of tussling men were everywhere and finally we heard the wail of sirens....

"Run like fuck!" yelled somebody and we all took to our heels and scattered.

Now that's what I call a wedding.

Tonight being Friday I'm going to get:
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 12:44, Reply)

uni's great
My housemate at uni Little Tom went to his cousin's wedding a few years ago. The last thing he remembers is playing I've Never with his entire immediate and extended family at about 6 in the evening. The next thing he knew he woke up next morning in the middle of a strange road, wrapped in a 10 foot banner off the side of a pub, with a girl he didn't recognise, who was in the nip.

The sign's currently on 3 of his bedroom walls.

The girl was never heard of again.


What a trooper
(Mr Bones, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 12:33, Reply)

Best man
I was best man. I had a killer speech. Never got to use it.

Wedding got cancelled day before actual day due to bride and groom realising at that particular minute that they fucking despised each other. Cue relatives from America, Australia etc waiting around at church anyway because they were in transit whilst it all fell apart. Cue a 'rebranding' excercise worthy of Immac/Veet or Marathon/Snickers proportions. The day would become Father of The Groom's 70th Birthday party. Every thing went ahead as planned bar the actual wedding bits - the church, speeches, toasts blah blah.

The reception consisted mainly of people asking me what was really happening and me lying to them all (I wasn't allowed to tell them why). People muttering barely disguised death threats about the bride - where the majority of the blame fell. We all got pissed though and I saw the brides tits when she bent down. Personally, calling it all off seemed a good idea. Lets face it, they weren't going to get better.

The evening ended rather excitingly with the arrest of the groom. The Hertfordshire Police hate it when people threaten to throw themselves off a bridge over the M25 and they really hate closing 2 junctions in both directions to get him down.

The honeymoon, bizarrely, still happened - now of course rebranded a "holiday".

Total cost of one non-wedding? Twenty fucking seven fucking thousand pounds or as the groom calls it a "remortgage".

He now spends as much time as humanly possible shagging lots of women. Star.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 12:31, Reply)

Just Quickly squeezed one out
As an usher at a friends wedding, I had certain responsibilities and certain priveleges. After lunch I was asked to take the two big bouquets of flowers that were presented to the two mothers up to the house. The wedding was in a big tent, way out the back of the house. I got to the house, put down the flowers, then thought, why don't i go take a shit, it'd be nicer here than the portaloos out the back of the tent. So I nipped to the lav, flicked thru the sports car magazines, and went back to the wedding. Ran into the bride, so I let her know I'd done what was asked with the flowers, pointing over my shoulder towards the house.

'That's not my house' she said

whoops, hope i flushed properly
(marvin889, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 12:15, Reply)

Get me out of there!
My boyfriend and I had really only just split up....bout 2wks at a push before the wedding day of his brother. Now bein nice n stuff, he didnt want to tell any of his family and wanted me to go along as normal. So here I am, at a wedding, meeting all the family who are asking us when we shall be walking up the aisle and me just thinkin that there is no effin way. Hmmm. And then to top it all off, the bride hands me the bloody bouquet saying that it will be a good omen for when we go up the aisle together. WTF.

Needless to say, by 4pm I was on my way to getting nicely pissed, by 7pm I was down the pub on the sambuca's and by 9pm, found myself snogging the ex's sporting arch enemy. How the hell was I to know, I could barely bloody see.

Hes still not told his family. And its been about 6 weeks now.

I'll miss both the length and the girth.
(Oops....did I say that out loud cos I really bloody want to., Fri 15 Jul 2005, 12:14, Reply)

I propose a toast to the bride and FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!
Now ladies. Yes we know childbirth stings a little, but you do not know the meaning of pain. I was once bestist man at a mate's wedding. He was marrying this ugly bird who looked a bit like UglyDog, on the last newsletter. I was in the bog having a wazz and joking with this bloke about the bride's looks. Gurning Chimp was my favourite as far as I remember. I had just finished my piss and, still laughing, quickly done up my zip. Now due to the fact that I was as pissed as an innercity comprehensive school teacher, I had failed to pop my cock back home safely and zipped my cock up in the teeth of the zip. At least 12 teeth had embedded themselves in the skin of my knob and I had to take myself to A&E on the bus because no cunt would or could give me a lift. Bent over double, with a teatowel wrapped around my nudger, which was now bleeding like a stabbed cow. The zip was actually embedded in my knob-skin and had to be removed, (The zip that is, not my knob) They then had to pick out the zip teeth, one at a time with a small pair of pliers. If that wasn't enough they had to (you still with me?) stitch up my womb-ferret which now looked like something you would find in a butcher's dustbin with 12 bloody stiches mate! Pain!? Don't you fuckin' 'pain' me! 2 nurses holding me down. Having the stiches out a week later was no fucking holiday either. Best bit was, the doctor told me not to get a hard on as I would split my stitches. Well if you go to bed with the light off, you wake up with the hard........ NURSE!!!!!
Three times it had to be re-stitched!! Why couldn't that have happened to Johnathan King?
I promise. If I ever have to go to a wedding where a swamp pig is marrying a mate, I shall only speak kind words about her, even if she does resemble a prolapsed hippo arse.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Fri 15 Jul 2005, 11:57, Reply)

During Euro '96
A friend and colleague (let's call her Mandy) was getting married near Bristol on the same day as the England v Scotland game. A load of us travelled up from the Bournemouth area for the wedding and were all at the church on time, but with the notable exception of 2 of the guys (their girlfriends were there though). Let's call them Clarkie & Conroy. It transpired that having booked into their B&B, instead of getting suited and booted and getting to the ceremony Clarkie & Conroy cracked open a few beers and watched the entire match in one of their rooms. They managed to turn up, pissed as farts and delighted with the 2-0 result just as the "line-up" was happening.
When they got to Mandy all she had to say was "I'll have a fucking word with you two later..."
Class behaviour.

During the same line up I was waiting in turn behind all these people that were saying lovely things to the bride and groom and took it into my head to whisper "you look like a pig in a dress" into Mandy's ear.

Luckily she laughed. Happy days.
( BobbyParadise, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 11:43, Reply)

American customs
In the USA, weddings are much less formal on the whole than they are here, and it's quite common for invited guests to take along friends to the reception. My parents came across this phenomenon when staying with friends in America and were taken along to the wedding of some folk they didn't know. End of background information.

So I was playing in the band at a wedding here in Scotland and an American couple had been invited as evening guests. Unaware of the difference in customs (this didn't quite qualify for last week's QotW!) they brought along the couple with whom they were staying, who did not know the bride and groom and had not been invited. Now this was a problem, as the venue had imposed a limit of 100 people, and the bride would have liked to have invited some other folk but because of the number limit, she'd had to leave them out. So the two innocent interlopers were to be asked to leave.

The bride's mother came up to us, the Scottish ceilidh band who had nothing to do with the wedding except as paid entertainers, and said to our dance caller to ask this couple to leave. Cheeky bugger could have done it herself, but she didn't have the guts. He wasn't too happy about this but did his best to be diplomatic and explain the situation.

Cue two couples (the ones who were asked to leave, and the original guests) walking out of the reception amid much consternation and crying etc. The bride was in floods of tears and it caused a bad feeling among the company all night.

The best of it was that both couples had booked into the hotel for the night, so they were still hanging around in the bar at the end of the reception.

There wasn't a fist fight unfortunately, but I've seen that too.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 11:36, Reply)

Weegie Wedding
My ex wifes cousin got married into a rather pikey family, The grooms father ended up dancing in his string vest with my former mother in law and on asking who she was and getting a reply said "Ah'll no be getting a shag awfy you then" ........ and he was right.
we also picked up ex's black sheep uncle at 11am from the pub pissed, he slept for 2 hours during the reception,during which all the old aunties said "Och, thats just Hughie, he must have come off the night shift" he started drinking again and we dropped him off at the pub again at 1 in the morning. what a hero usual apollies for len
(montyzuma, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 11:27, Reply)

The internet is class!... but weddings are NOT!
I was going out with a girl called Kay in Manchester once (well she said it was Manchester but it was really Bury!)..... anyway as most blokes do at some point, I had to go to the wedding of her best mates sister who'd met a septic tank on the internet (and by the look of him that is the only way he could meet women..... but hey, she was fat so they deserve each other).

So the day went off fine and the wedding was the usual hotel rubbish, a line of crap chairs and a fat lady at the end who was doing the deed (all verbal bollox if you ask me).

Anyway, after that we retreated to the hotel events suite for the sit down fodder. An OKish meal later and the beer, vodka and gin finally started to be absorbed into my bloodstream.... lots of dancing later and I'm sat at my table with the ex and some of her friends, including the best mate who's sister had just been joined to the yanky trailer park hick. Out of the blue someone put a microphone in my hand and a video camera in my face.... a little shocked and a tad excited at my 'big chance' I proceeded to extol the many virtues of the internet for the likes of meeting people for 'no strings' fun and for looking at dirty lady pics (you know.... the sort where she's got an onion or champagne bottle in her arse, the really classy stuff).

As you can imagine I don't think my turn made the final edit... but it DID make my tables mouth open in unison which acted only as an encouragement for me.

Didn't like them so I'm not sorry.... SO THERE! :-D

Anyway am now going out with another manc who's doing the same in 3 weeks.... can't wait!

Rob
(thROB, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 11:26, Reply)

kids r us
Last year, at a friend's wedding (genuinely nice guy, dreadful domineering wife) ceremony, Maidenhead registry office (like the living room of an old folks' home), the bride's mother, real hello-trees-hello-sky character, stands up to read classic AA Milne poem.

Us in the back row (average age 28) were taken completely unawares by the first line:

"Wherever I am, there's always Pooh"

Cue general red-faced collapse, suppressed snorting and silent tears of mirth.

As we sat quaking with ill-disguised spasms, row of 9-year olds in front of us turns to give us dagger-looks which say "Don't be so childish"...
( Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 11:25, Reply)

While I'm at it...
My first wife's sister got married at a swank hotel, and part of the deal was cheap hotel rooms for all the family. Weird, but for a cheap night at the hotel, why not. We booked in. We even agreed to have my wife's best friend bunk down in our room so she could join in the party.

Wife's best friend chose the week before the wedding to come out of the closet. After much merriment at the wedding, and a few bottles snuck back up to the room for good measure I thought I'd try my luck. Rooted the wife senseless, but didn't manage more than a snore out of her lesbian friend passed out on the camp bed nearby.

I'd apolgise about the length, but I didn't get a chance to show it off.
( Udderbelly A tale of four titties, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 11:19, Reply)

G/f sister's wedding in a village hall somewhere
Reception going nicely, getting a bit 'happy'. 3 of us decide to have a break from the heat and music and go outside for a fag and a piss.
We walk up to a waist-height concrete garden fence with some bushes sticking up behind it (perfect for a quick pee). One of the others takes it one step further and places one hand on top of the fence and vaults over. Just beyond the point of no return he stops (cartoon style), his jaw drops .... and he disappears!

It was a fucking railway bridge!
(the 'bushes' were, in fact, the tops of some rather tall trees). Fortunately he was not in the middle of the bridge and landed half way down the embankment, crashed through the undergrowth down to the lines.
He reappeared covered in scratches and foliage and when we ascertained that he was ok we all found this hysterical.
Regained composure enough to return to the party only to be confronted by g/f's mother (Hyacinth Bucket) lying in the middle of the dance floor, dress around her shoulders and another mate lying on top in full missionary position! (they had fallen over dancing) - what an image. Had to go for another piss/fag.
(Plan_B, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 11:18, Reply)

Eeek...
I'm a nightmare at weddings. I was a bridesmaid at my cousins wedding. It was a rather posh affair (One of those with 7 courses but you're still starving as it's all a work of art and bugger all on the plate) Got absolutely shit faced and proceeded to heckle everyone during their speeches (Dad joined in as he was drunk too) Later i decided to give away my tiara, stole and necklace to someone i thought was in need then danced away to shite 80's songs whilst trying to deal with a 'rude itch' at the same time. I look like a epileptic on the wedding video :\ Was also asked questions for the video for the bride and groom, 'What did you think of the day Rachel?' Expecting a sweet answer and well wishes for the happy couple... i replied 'The cheese was shite and the Jack Daniels ran out too early' :|

I'm at my friends wedding in September and my boyfriend is best man. Thank god i've just been diagnosed with a heart condition that means i can't drink anymore.....!

EDIT

After speaking to mum this afternoon i completely forgot about this. There were 4 bridesmaids (Including me) Me - 21, 2 in their thirties and a young one at 6. The youngest was sat on a pew and i remember her farting loudly through the vows. She really did cock her arse up and give it some welly, proper forcing it out face. I was dying of laughter!

Funny how in such a rush to post, i miss the essence of it all :\
(lehcar_woo, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 11:15, Reply)

Erm, Umm
My highlight of my first wedding was my alcoholic inlaws sucking it down like someone else was paying for it (someone else was - me). Cue father in law trying to give his speech so wasted he can't even remember our names, let alone what we were doing.

"We are all here today to ... we are gathered here ... gathered here today for ... err .. umm ... Charge your glasses! To ... err ... umm ..."

In the end his wife came up and led him off.

Best bit? The video camera trained on him during his "speech" chose that moment to exercise it's autofocus, resulting in a swimming picture of the old git swaying back and forth and randomly breaking into dance. He's heard to loudly say as he is led off by the M-I-L "I buggered that one up then."

Still, he recovered enough composure later that evening to do an impromtue number with his wife on the dancefloor that involved putting napkins on their heads and skipping around and tossing the dried flower petals that were sitting in baskets by the door that were supposed to be thrown at us as we left.

Sadly, the video guy didn't catch that bit.
( Udderbelly A tale of four titties, Fri 15 Jul 2005, 11:03, Reply)