Strange dealings in 3B
Went to Catholic school. Had a crazy teacher - who used to slam students into the blackboard by the tie (this was third grade). We had this kid named Sal. What a putz. He always had to use the toliet. One day this teacher tells him No - you cant go. You went 20 minutes ago. Well he keeps asking and asking - she still says no. about ten minutes later... a rather pungent odor is wafting through the classroom. Good Ol' Sal crapped his pants. Teacher was furious, sent him out of the class - and had to call the janitor in to disinfect the classroom. How bad was it? the kid left a stain! on his chair. After this he was called Stains or Sh!tstain Sal.
(Subway Riding the rails underground, Sat 20 Jan 2007, 2:53, Reply)

I was not the weird kid; I was the clown. Always have been, always will.
However, there was one lad, named Jake, who was a bit of an oddball. I don't know whether he was OCD, autistic or both. Either way, he was a bit nutty. Every day he would wear the same faded Alien Ant Farm hoodie, and would sit playing on some form of handheld games console. Someone once commented on his "gameboy", to which he screamed "IT'S A DS!" repeatedly. He also had an affinity for World of Warcraft and anything Manga. Plus, any time anyone would try to talk to him, he'd make some strange sort of strangled kitten sound and run off.

Once, I was sitting in the common room trying to have a conversation with him (which is hard). The instant a small group of people came along, he ran off and stood outside the window to the common room, looking in at me. He just stood there.

He stood there for a long time.


Sometimes I see him about and say "hello Jake" or something to that degree, to which he goes "meep!" and runs off swiftly.

No wanking in class or drinking semen, but still pretty odd.
( Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Sat 20 Jan 2007, 2:16, Reply)

I'm not quite sure
that a tale from my second stint at Uni aged 22 really counts, but I'll tell you anyway.

Boy in question answered to the name of Ming, and like myself was a mature(ish) student in their early 20s returning to education in rural Wales. Unlike me, he was a borderline schitzophrenic, and decided at the outset of his course that his medication impared his intellect. And that he should take a lot of drugs.

It all stated innocuously. We went out for halloween, he went as Ming the Merciless, I went as Satan, someone else went as Jesus(?) and more, all played in character. We all stopped the next day. Ming didn't.

He'd bought a cane which he'd used for a prop for his costume. He kept using it, then lost it. So he replaced it with a stick, which he called Drif Wood. He began to talk to it. He took it to lectures. It liked to listen.

He handed in one piece of coursework, double length, combining two irreconcillable titles, but utter gibberish, but in epic verse.

A race of small people only he could see began to live on his kitchen table. Or they did before his housemate killed them all with bleach deliberately, while he screamed "GENOCIDE!"

He guarded buildings by from evil spirits by acting like a dog.

He became the cat in the hat on occasions.

He was retrieved from a puddle, in which he had been thrashing and emitting inhuman wailings. He explained that he was frustrated by the impotence of his current incarnation, as previously he had been Buddha and Christ, and that he 'wasn't going to be allowed back again'.

This is his edited highlights. The guy went truely barking.

He got sectioned the moment his mother clapped eyes on him.
( cs1ca, Sat 20 Jan 2007, 2:07, Reply)

My last school was quite religious.
One weekend, we all went off to a retreat in the countryside for a weekend (basically a spiritual centre run by God-loving hippies, but hey even if you were atheist you got to paint rocks).

This one kid had the 'hilarious' idea of bending his arm back into his t-shirt, so only a shoulder length stump was just about visible (whereas in truth it was so bloody obvious he had just doubled his arm back on itself.)

He kept this going the whole weekend, playing the 'one armed disabled person' role with great aplomb, throwing in the old 'mmmng' noises for good measure, much to the annoyance of the people running the weekend who obviously didn't see the funny side (and, come to think of it years later, spent years dedicated to real disabled people).

In the final mass, this kid went up for a blessing with holy water. The moment it touched his forehead, a ripping sound could be heard and - LORD HAVE MERCY! - the arm was full length and back in place. It was some kind of mid-summer MIRACLE! :D

Turning to face the rest of the class with both a mixture of fake awe and mirth, I went to sit back down, happy my arm could now stretch properly. Not one person saw the funny side though.

Nobody sat next to me on the bus ride home :-(
( TIAL Four capital letters, written in gold., Sat 20 Jan 2007, 1:41, Reply)

Regarding L'Ajomo's story (http://www.b3ta.com/questions/weirdkid/post70042/)
Yeah, that... Tosh, was one creepy kid. He once told me he'd leave me all his pokemon cards in his will and that his darkest, most terrible secret was that his real birthday (not the birthday he told everyone else about; not the one he held his party on) was the 29th of February 1988. He cried when telling me this. By the way, he left school at the end of year 7, probably due to the persistent abuse he received.

There were other fun-guys I could tell you about, but another time, perhaps...

EDIT: I'd like to point out that I was the one person who didn't laugh when he broke the chair. Did that get me out of class detention? Did it fuck.
( Pretender, Sat 20 Jan 2007, 1:21, Reply)

David Croft
Went to school with a bloke we used to call Damian on account of his monobrow. (Not quite sure the link - I think that we assumed all people with monobrows were evil or something. I digress).

So after much teasing he comes down to breakfast (I went to a boarding school) and he had completely shaved off both eyebrows!

Seem to remember he once kept a test tube full of his own sperm on his desk. Also he liked to suck farts out of people's arses (I kid you not).

Not sure what happened to him. He was a computer genius. Dave - you out there mate?
(veniceboy lives in California, Sat 20 Jan 2007, 0:50, Reply)

Chris Danby who....
used to attend St Barts school,Newbury,now showers daily apparently.
(benny 1806, Sat 20 Jan 2007, 0:36, Reply)

my parents stayed together, my girlfriend wasn't pregnant, and I had no crippling injuries

Yes, I was the weird one at Degrassi Junior High.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 23:10, Reply)

My brother
And no, I'm not going to post some hilarious story about him.

He had at the time what was called "behavioural difficulties" - eventually diagnosed many years later as mild autism. By then it was far too late to actually be able to do anything.

My school were complete twunts to him. They:

- Got him to expose himself to a load of people when he was 13.

- Constantly asked him idiotic questions designed to trip him up and say something that wasn't true, then constantly taunt him about what he'd said. Running jokes seemed to be about the suggestion of incest or that he wore a certain type of pyjamas. Sounds silly, but he really didn't understand so he just got the frustration and hurt and nothing else.

- Egged him on to dance at the school disco on the stage, laughing at him as he did it, jeering.

- Put paint in his bag - wtf?

-Threw all manner of hard objects at him, including pens, pencils, bricks, stones, twigs, anything really.

- Surrounded him in a big group, and proceeded to beat the crap out of him. FOR NO REASON. Quite a few times. He hid that, but I managed to catch them one day :S

- Yell at him and call him fat (he wasn't) during the cross country run.

- Blocked his exit to the schoolbus so he couldn't leave to go home, and wouldn't let him off until he was at least a few miles from home

The doctor took one look at him when he was in year 9, and signed him off school sick for 6 months to give him time to recover (almost all of his hair had fallen out by then). My mother then set about fighting the council and getting him in a proper school.

There is fuckloads more that they did to him. Some of it was just completely bizzare. So he wasn't the weird one. He was a kid with mild autism. The sadistic fuckers at his and my school were the weird ones.


Sorry, you can go back to looking at nerds going "yes I was the weird one lolz"
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 23:01, Reply)

I've never told anyone this before

But all throughout high school, I had a 'thing' for underage girls in schoolgirl outfits.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 22:55, Reply)

Weird.... but exceedingly rich, or so we thought.
I went to secondary school with a cunt called Reuben Singh, the chap who started the Miss Attitude chain of shops and claimed to have sold the chain for £27m. Reuben wore this mahoosive turban (still does in fact) to hide his locks of hair. The turban got pulled off once in the rugby scrum and he was seen sprinting to the changing rooms with his hair down to his ankles shouting "don't look, don't look"... as if we'd never seen hair before.

Reuben proceeded to pass his driving test at 17 and would come to work in an Escort Cosworth, a Porsche 911 and then a Ferrari. He was a complete cunt, make no mistake. He used to pay one of the other lads 50p to carry his school bag in first year.

We had the last laugh when he was outed as a fraudster a couple of years back - seems he hasn't got a pot to piss in!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reuben_Singh
(Abe Froman To smell me you wouldn't think i was middle class, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 22:24, Reply)

A lesson for bullies
A boy called Jake Chapman in my year used to get bullied constantly at school. He never used to wash his hands and he had quite a bad speech impediment; the few friends he did have abandoned him as soon as the taunting began. He had a brother, but in a different school and not around to defend him.
Jake did have a talent though - he was very good at drawing. Mainly fantasy characters but also people, and even "still lifes". His work was sometimes put on display at school - but didn't stay up too long.
I was flicking through Friends Reunited recently, and a few bullies' names came up. They all were in IT or sales; all decent jobs, but nothing to write home about.
You know what Jake is doing now?
He's a milkman.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 22:22, Reply)

Peter Carlick
was a trifle strange..

The chants on the bus to college went..

Peter Carlick, Peter Carlick
Smells of garlick, and acts like a dalek.

We threw his pants out of the bus window once, nowadays I doubt that he's a high flyer in the city somehow...
( Signify, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 22:09, Reply)

I'm sorry
You clearly are a nutjob! Thanks for clearing that up!
(Medibot, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 22:04, Reply)

Vincent The Martian
now, ex-pupils of a certain mancunian secondary school (S* B***'* C******) in the second half of the eighties will need no reminding of this guy. He was convinced, and would confirm if you asked him, that not only was he a Martian, but that his dad was Jesus Christ (all said with a deadly straight face and a strange, harsh voice).
he wasnt in our class, but everyone knew who he was and even with some stiff competition, was pretty much the oddest of an odd bunch. Highlights would be him throwing an eppy fit and chasing any kids who took the piss round the school - I seem to remember one day he did get hold of one of the worst offenders and gave him a bloody good hiding.
the very best was the day he decided to climb on top of the (glass roofed) library and run from one end of it to the next. he got about two thirds of the way across before he went through the glass, too.
length? I know what you're thinking. and if I was to tell you, you'd think I was talking in centimetres.
(tjn whizzing on the electric fence of life, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 22:03, Reply)

Trust me
I am, I might sound half normal now but I get weird in school. People who see me out of school (I live ages away) say I act "well not weird"
(LuckySevenDomino is now the owner of a shiny Wii!, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 21:59, Reply)

The weird kids in South Wales
...all went to Welsh school. FACT.

They are all gay or bi and choose to offload this information onto you within minutes of introducing themselves.

I'm a teacher and my whole class is weird. Ryan is especially nuts. He sits and beeps for extended periods of time. And Aidan makes pterydactyl noises when told off.

Edit: Dominoman or whatever your name is, when most people say 'ooh I'm wacky me!' they really are not.
(Medibot, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 21:46, Reply)

I Was The Weird One
... I probably still are. I am known as "random kid". Because I often think its fun to experiment on peoples reactions. Like the following.

*Middle of lesson, teacher leave class to get books*

3...2...1... SCREW THIS PEICE OF SHIT BASTARD WANK TWATY FUCK FLAPS... CUUUUNNNNNNT!


*Middle of exam and all is quiet*

"ARRRRRRRGH, WHAT THE FUCK, THIS SHITE QUESTION DOES NOT MAKE ANY BASTARD SENCE... oh... sorry"


*Near end of music lesson, end of Year, Smell of party in the air*

"Miss, You know it's the end of the Year, Can we have a party!?"

"Since its nearly the end, why not, i'll just get some CDs"

*Before shes said "Why Not" Iv'e already pluged my Ipod into main speakers and put "Bamboleo" full blast and get everyone up to dance, near end of song everyones up and dancing, with the tables to the side, and a good party atmosphere going, I'm happy with myself, until the song changes, party time killed by the next song in playlist "Bananas in Pajamas Theme"

They also call me "Retarded Pockets Boy" but thats another story.

Appologies for general biggness.
(LuckySevenDomino is now the owner of a shiny Wii!, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 21:44, Reply)

complete arse
I got told during football this morning by one of the most unpopular kids in my year "I'm gonna fucking get you, you cunt."
I thought it was pretty funny. He didn't. He was deadly serious.
Shame he's a twat.


Length? I prefer to rely on personality.
(littlenipple hate's bad grammar, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 21:30, Reply)

The Wierd Kid In Class
I WAS the wierd kid-nuff said.

Length ?-irrelevant these days
(shug, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 21:09, Reply)

I'm waiting to appear on here..
Throughout most of school, I habitually lied about *everything*. Not proud of it, but after being bullied for most of the lower years, it was the only way people actually too an interest in me, so it seemed the right thing to do. Luckily I grew out of it just before the 6th form, but I'm sure I was regarded as a bit of a freak back in Year 10/11... I can't really face any reunions from the memories of some of the fibs I told back there.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 21:07, Reply)

Why I like Wales
Memories of the English side are a little vague but i shall attempt to describe a boy from year 6 (must have been ten at the time).

His name was Josh, he was ginger, had a habit of tying cats to lampposts and cars at the same time (surely people would notice?).

On occasion he would walk into my home unannounced and play with my playstaion whether i was there or not.

And finally, I recall a sex ed class where he went into great detail about watching his brother wank in the bath.

length/girth: well he said it was rather small
(Anti-bauble, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 20:57, Reply)

SWEET FUCK where to start...
Ian Hill: Year 9 - 12 one of those buggers with some mental disability which was 'too slight' to be diagnosed properly... yeah right! good at stating the obvious and doing involuntary EUUUGHUGUHUWEEOOOOOOWEAGH noises. mother was a banshee. once his mates told him to get a carry out [ie - alcohol at the offie] and he came back with a takeaway [sweet 'n' sour pork].

Colly 'Wobbles' Morgan: Year 8 - someone borrowed his stencil wihout asking. he started crying. his ambition has always been to open a CARNICERIO - yes a butchers in Spain. spoke like your grandpappy in a dialect only spoken in the tiny shithole that is Kilcoo.

Paddy Mulligan: Years 3 to 7 - always in and out of hospital with old peoples problems like bad hips [yet his favourite games were 'jump from tree' and 'roll down huge steep embankment into pond']. his dad had a Skoda, meaning he was never on time for school. another lateness excuse was 'my siter couldn't find her comb'. the wench.

ME? NEVER THE WEIRD KID. NOPE...
Got suspended in Year 7 for a day for saying blasphemous things at my Confirmation. I then told my teacher to 'shut up you stupid old cow'. She was not happy.
i was the token cripple eejit
i have eaten a lot of paper
i used to rummage for edible things in bins
i was fond of gobbing on people in self-defence
(Dan of the Crippled Nipples, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 20:50, Reply)

Kevin Hale. 1983-84. Beaumont School, St Albans.
He turned up half an hour late to my class, soaking wet and covered in dirt and bits of bracken, on my first day of secondary school and, upon being asked why he was so late, replied breathlessly, "I WAS CHASED THROUGH A FIELD BY A MAN". We found out shortly afterwards that he lived about five minutes walk from the school. He was shipped off to a "special school" a few weeks later.
( 100% of Gibbon, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 20:40, Reply)

Okay, this is my first (and likely my last) serious answer for the QOTW.
My high school, situated in the arse-end of nowhere, had no shortage of weird kids. The most memorable one was Peter (aka Poiteeh, Poyning, Bewgle, Fewgle etc.) - his dad was our RE teacher one year, and was an excellent teacher, had a great sense of humour and was an all-round top bloke. Peter, on the other hand, was a funny little bugger and no mistake. Pasty-faced, with jamjar glasses, sloping shoulders and a tendency to wander around with one hand in his pocket and a creepy blank grin perpetually stuck on his phizzog, his social ineptitude was matched only by his apparent geniusness (is that even a proper word?) which apparently ran in the family, as his little sister was a slightly less inept but no less fucking creepy maths genius who was moved up year at her primary school and was regarded by many of the teachers as some kind of Übermensch.
   Despite his apparently terminal nerdiness, little Peter could be quite a vicious fighter, as people who picked on him rapidly found out; so after the first two years, attempts were rarely made to antagonise him. Highlights of the 5 years I spent in the same form as him include the time he splattered tippex all over his face in a fit of chronic Beadlehandedness and had to be taken to hospital (he was subsequently known as Cumface), the time he hit on a girl in such a cringingly horrendous fashion that she became a lesbian, and the times he tried to fit in better by pretending he had a sense of humour; he did this by telling long jokes, usually at completely inappropriate times like when we were in a PE lesson getting berated by the teacher.
   The last I'd heard of him was that he'd got straight 'A's in his A-levels (as did I, albeit in completely different subjects) and went to Manchester to study law. This seems somehow appropriate. I personally think that in 10 years' time he'll either be a successful legal vulture, earning his money by forcing poor families to give up their life savings to fight losing battles against rapacious bailiffs, or he'll be a prolific serial killer and will be awaiting a life sentence for murdering prostitutes.

And if he's reading this now and considers suing me for revealing what a weird little kid he was (and likely still is), I have just one message for him: FUCK YOU UP YOUR DAD'S SHIT PIPE.
( FUCK OFF, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 20:31, Reply)

to name a few
Robert, aka Potato Boy- One of the "special" kids. Lied about having a driver's liscence at the age of 9. Tried to ask just about every girl in the class to go on a date with him. Nicknamed Potato Boy because he looked a lot like Mr. Potato Head.

Jason- Crazy kid who claimed he was a dog. He said he didn't drink out of toilet bowls because the cleaning stuff made the water taste bad. He was expelled from school because he had a list of people he was going to bite.

Mike aka Greasey Leprechaun- Someone gave him $2 to eat a stick of deodorant. For a whole year, he wore nothing but green. He also smelled like sour milk.

Julie- Drew alot of naked pictures of Marilyn Manson. Now she's at the same college as me and once tried to convince a friend of mine to have a threesome with her and her boyfriend.
(pk, Fri 19 Jan 2007, 20:13, Reply)