New Kids on the Block - Hanging Tough
If they were the new kids on my block they'd be hanging from a f u c king lamp post... A bunch of clean cut young boys who help grannies across the road and stuff, suddenly become badassed, streetwise hustlers. Five are guilty also, but NKotB started it all. They are to blame for Five, The Backstreet Boys, Timberlake etc. They must be rounded up and punished.
(mr pete, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 15:11, Reply)

The Proclaimers- 500 Miles
I would gladly crawl 500 miles through hot tar to escape this piece of musical granny porn.

And am I the only one who thinks "I know they're brothers, but I bet there's nothing they like more than to bum the hell out of each other after every show."?
(Me and your sisters- at it. DVDs/Videos 10 quid., Wed 3 Dec 2003, 15:09, Reply)

Oh aye ...
... and what's with that daffy catch in the voice in that song by the lesbian off pop idol? Has she got a lady hair stuck in her throat? Surely there was time for a glass of water between the green room and the studio for fuxaches. You wouldn't catch Will Young walking on stage wiping his chin and swallowing, would you?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 15:09, Reply)

The worst CD in my house...
is the moulin rouge soundtrack, its not mine but my sister's, and its burning a hole in the CD rack with its high energy ultrabrown radiation.
Baz Luhrmann is a total fucking hack to put it nicely. The M.R. soundtrack was the poison cherry on the racid cream covering the vom and shite cake that was moulin rouge the movie. To explain everthing that was crap about that movie would require at least 13.2 billion years. God it almost makes me ashamed that come from the same country as Baz. I notice that quite a few songs metioned here are crammed into that one diabolical medly where they're singing on that elephant thingy...oh if only my brain would be kind enough to let repress all memory of that movie. On the upside at least nicole kidman is attractive.
(afroboy, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 15:07, Reply)

TotP circa 1978
"Thank you for being a friend", Bobby Gold.
This line was the only lyric, repeated throughout while this winsome kitten gazed into the lens seated at a piano (angled so you couldn't see his hands).
(Man in Japan, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 15:05, Reply)

God Save The Queen- The Sex Pistols
Doesn't really count as it's not music as such, more a recording of someone having a nightmare about drowning in vomit. And as if that wasn't enough- look at the people associated with "the punk movement" Malcolm Mclaren? Vivienne "Aaargh my eyes" Westwood? John fucking Lydon? Outside- now, the lot of you!
(Me and your sisters- at it. DVDs/Videos 10 quid., Wed 3 Dec 2003, 15:02, Reply)

My own band
Back then we were called Torment, and we did a little demo featuring songs such as Batman Stole My Babies
Sad thing is, we're still not much better.

Then there's Ozzy & Kelly Osbourne, Changes. Just because the orignal's the only decent ballard Ozzy's ever sung on and he really should know better.
( Whillow, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:56, Reply)

The laughing policeman....
As a kid I loved it... as an adult it makes me shake uncontrollably and soil my trousers. Worst thing about it is the laugh carries for miles, and at a distance is indistinguishable from a pack of slavering banshees.

Nightmare.
(Me and your sisters- at it. DVDs/Videos 10 quid., Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:56, Reply)

Anything by Clif Richard
Especially the lord's prayer. It's just the lord's prayer in the tune of Old Lang Syne and it's f***ing tedious. If he gets number one this Xmas then i will hang myself. No shitting this time.
(Wonchop Where are your goggles, boy?, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:56, Reply)

Evanecance
Now, you could easily blame me for hating them because they're popular, but a couple of months before they got big, a friend of mine recommended some of their tracks and I downloaded them, including Bring Me To Life, which ironically makes me want to kill them. It sounded to me like Theatre Of Tragedy (also a pretty crap band) but without anything that makes them listenable. I deleted the tracks.
Couple of weeks later, I see the Bring Me To Life video on Kerrang and laugh at it, before vomiting at the song and being glad that it'll never catch on. Then they start playing it more and more. Then everyone at school's singing it. Gah.
Pretty standard, untill I go to my first festival- Download 2003. Best fucking weekend of me life, and Evancencasne are on the bill to play their first ever UK show. We figure we'd check it out to say we'd seen them then head off to the other stage and watch someone who didn't make us want to vomit. They came, I seem to remember, after Mudvayne and Spineshank who were both very good, supprisingly, and we lay down pretty close to the stage as not many people were around. There followed the most obviously mimed dire pile of shite I'd ever heard. I woke my mate who I went with up and told him we should go see what was on at the other stage and he said he couldn't be arsed to move, so we stayed to the end (it never got any better) What did we find out when we went back to the campsite? Metallica were playing on the other stage, unnannounced. We went home after that.
( Whillow, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:50, Reply)

Last Xmas - George Michael
Everyones least favourite gaylord George Michael makes me want to vomit at the best of times.

The piece of rancid turgid shit that is "Last Christmas" makes me want to stab him the face with a shit encrusted broken bottle repeatedlty. Then I'm going to get a monkey infected with Ebola to rape him and bite him on the arse.

After that I'm going to hunt and kill his family, their mates and their dogs.

And that goes double for anyone playing it in a store this festive season.
(Redcap, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:46, Reply)

lifestyles of the rich and famous??
enough said...
(Chunk Mcfunk, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:43, Reply)

Nelly (oh)
that poxy song .."i love you(background OH!!)
oh!! oh!!! oh!! oh!!! oh!!
oh!! oh!!! oh!!! even typing it makes me wanna vomit in my own lap....RnB wheres the rhythm n blues in Oh!! oh!! bloody rubbish bastard
i mean check out the foos site on da web
www.nelly.net/main.html


holla i'll holla at the muppet
(dirty dawg, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:41, Reply)

Stereophonics- Re-offender
A fucking pop song... about domestic violence? Who told them that was a good idea?
(Me and your sisters- at it. DVDs/Videos 10 quid., Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:41, Reply)

I wish i was deaf
two knitting needles and silence..bliss, no more shania twain
(lamagic, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:39, Reply)

you bastard
why mention mistletoe and wine!!! I can't get it out of my head. this is a bad challenge-not happy with trying to recall those songs which made me want to kill, be killed. achy breaky heart, anything by cher, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, please stop reminding me!
(lamagic, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:38, Reply)

for sheer longevity
it has to be U2 and their entire back catalogue. Despite being adored around the world by many a MOR AOR fan, they sound like they should be playing in the back of a pub in Wakefield. Bland, emotionless, poorly written songs, played (at best) averagely and *oh* that voice. U2 are more annoying than manufactured pop shite because for them we can blame the music industry and 11 year old girls. U2 purport to be 'talented' and people with otherwise good taste are prepared to harp on about how great bloody Achtung Baby is.
(luker, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:36, Reply)

He he
I rember christmas 2000 and Mr. Stiff Pilchard's "Millenium Prayer" I found it for 20p in a bargain bucket and baught it purely for the pleasure of watching it BURN!!!!


edit: should be changed to christmas 1999
(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:33, Reply)

ahhh, my ears are bleeding!
Don't impress me much - Shania Twain
(lamagic, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:33, Reply)

Seeing as it's Christmas (nearly)
my most dreaded is coming back to haunt me:
Cliff Richard's "Mistletoe and Wine" - why, Lord, why?
Ignoring the vastly irritating, smug-ass Christian crap that that gurning walking facelift insists on chugging out, "wine" and "rhyme" do not, in any sense, actually rhyme. The tune is mind-grating in its inanity, and one of those things that, no matter how much I try, I simply cannot get out of my head. And that's not even mentioning the snow-laden Top of the Pops appearance when it was number one, with Cliff in his trademark knitted jumper monstrosity, a stretched and toothy grin plastered across his face as he looks up to the heavens to see God smiling down on him. Bastard.
( TV's Nosemonkey, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:31, Reply)

Rocketman
Someone said Rocketman by William Shatner and I found this:

www.bentmen.com/realaudio/rocketman.ram

Suddenly that bit in family guy makes sense
( HornO, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:29, Reply)

Interesting one this
for some reason I have yet to fathom, I own a copy of Geri Haliwell's single "Bag it Up", I cannot remember buying it, nor can I remember getting it as a present, all I know is that it's been on my shelf for a very long time and has never been listened too. I think I may have blocked out the traumatic memory of the purchase, I HATE that fucking song! Just becoause it's utter manufactured shit sung by a complete happy baby orangutan. How or why it's in my house, I will never know.
(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:29, Reply)

Muthafucka
Awful dutch gabba techno 200bpm record from 93, by the sperminator. It sampled eddie murphy Raw/delirious(cant remember which) where he went "you know, that i know, that you know that i know, that you wanna fuk me up the arse. mmmmmmmmmmmm....well start fuking!" not only the most offensive record ever, but probably the worst aswell. was anybody else pained by hearing this satanic crap?
(lamagic, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:27, Reply)

The ultimate list.
This list was compiled by myself and a good friend who I used to go to school with. We wrote it about two months ago during a period of weeks, I think you'll agree that they're all absolutely fcuking terrible.

Chumbawumba - Tubthumpin
Tasmin Archer - Sleeping Satellite
Boys 11 Men - End of the road
S club party - S club 7
Supergrass – Alright
George Michael = Fast Love
Close to you - The Carpenters
The verve - Bitter sweet symphony
Catrina and the waves - Love (Shine a light)
Don't break my heart - Toni Braxton
Tease me - Chacka demis and plyers
Michael Jackson - Earth Song
Shine - Aswad
I'll stand by you - The pretenders
Red red wine - UB40
This is how we do it - Montell Jordan
Here comes the hotstepper - Ini Kamoze
Sweets for my sweet - C j lewis
alex party - dont give me your life
strike - u sure do
corona - baby baby
clock - axel f
bobby brown - two can play that game
The beat goes on - can't remember
Twist and Shout - Chaka Demus and Pliers
Oh Carolina - Shaggy
East 17 – Stay
Betty boo - Nothing you can do
Baby baby - Corona
human league-tell me when
freak power - Turn on tune in cop out
Terence trent Darby - Sign your name
Dj Pied Piper & Masters Of Ceremonies - Do You really Like It?
Because we want to - Billie
Doop – Doop
Texas - Inner Smile
Beautiful South - Rotterdam
Baby I love your way - Big Mountain
Mmm mmm mmm - Crash Test Dummies
Charles and Eddie - Would I lie to you
Rage - Run to you
George Michael - Jesus to a child
Leanne Rimes - Cant fight the Moonlight
Pets Shop Boys - Go West
I swear - All for One
Des'ree - Life, Oh Life
Clock - Oh What a night
Sting - Fields of Gold
Ace of Base - The Sign
Roxette - Sleeping in my car
Bright Eye - Stephen Gayley
I want to sex you up - Colour me badd
Mr Loverman - Shabba ranks
Blazin Squad - Crossroads
Wake Up Boo - Boo Radleys
Hey baby - Dj otzi
Because I got high – Afroman
Erasure - A little Respect
Des'ree - Life, Oh life
Cher - Walking in memphis
Hanson - Mmm bop
Ultra nate' - Free
Warren G. feat 40 thevz (make sure you spell thevz correct) - C U when U get there
Oh what a night - Clock
Crocodile shoes - Jimmy Nail
Technohead - I wanna be a hippy
Livin la vida loco - Ricky Martin
ann lee - two times
Los del mar - Macarena
Babybird - You're gorgeous
Boyz 11 men & Mariah Carey - One sweet day
City High - What would you do
Texas Feat Method Man - Say What you want
Mulder and scully/road rage - Catatonia
Once in our lifetime - Texas
I want it that way - backstreet boys
Secret smile – Semisonic
Cotton Eyed Joe – Rednecks
bye bye bye - NSync
New beginning - Steven gately
Shabba Ranks - Mr Loverman
Justified – KLF
The Stomp - Hale and Pace and Comic Relief
Return of the mack - Mark Morrisson
Wet Wet Wet- love is all around us
Baby don't hurt me – Haddaway
Arrested Development - Mr Wendel
Baby come back - Pato banton
Nickelback - How you remind me
Charles and Eddie - Would I lie to you
Swamp thing - The grid
Meet the flintstones - The B52's
When the going gets tough - Boyzone
Its my life - Dr Alban
Moving on up - M people
Linger - The Cranberries
Rage - Run to you
Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy breaky heart
Tiger feet
Stupid girl – Garbage
Mel B – Lullab
4 non blondes - What's going on
Cornflake girl - Tori Amos
Raise your hands – Reef
Sheryl Crow - All I want to do
Geri halliwell - Its raining men
Dina Caroll - save the best till last
Babylon - David Gray
Party started - Pink
Get what you give - New radicals
Bat out of h3ll - Meatloaf
Design for life - Manics
Just a little - Liberty x
Are you gonna go my way - Lenny Kravitz
Hero - Enrique Iglasias
Desert kiss the rain - Eveything but the girl
Dreams - Gabrielle
Murder on the dance floor - Sophie Ellis bextor
Skunk anansie full stop
All that she wants - Ace of base
Don't impress me much - Shania Twain
Celine Dion.
Beverly Knight - Shoulda Woulda Coulda
5, 6, 7, 8 – Steps
Always take the weather
Savage garden,
Anything by Shirley Bassey
I'll be missing you - Puff Daddy and Faith Evans
Things can only get better - D'Ream
The only way is up - Yazz and the plastic population.
Gina G - Oh Ah Just a little bit
Shoop shoop song – Cher
Take that – Pray
Keep on movin - 5ive.
Hangin' Tough – NKOTB
Lifted by the lighthouse family and ocean drive
Perfect Ten - Beautiful South
Real thing - U2
Kiss me - Belle & Sebastian
Ronan Keating - Life is a Rollercoaster
Favourite things - big bruvaz
Rotterdam - Beautiful South
Seal -Kiss from a rose
Fairground - simply red (Got to be the worst song ever, actually anything he's done)
Closer than close - Rosie gains
Angels - Robbie Williams
Freed from desire - Can't remember the b1tch who sung it
Shooting star - Flip & fill
Swear it all over again - Westlife
Saturday night - Whigfield
Rock your body – Justin Timberlake
Vindaloo - fat bob
Mickey - (hey mickey your so fine you blow my mind)
Deep Blue Something - Breakfast at Tiffany's
B*Witched - C'est La Vie / Jesse

Why? Because every single song on this list causes bile to flow to the tips of our tongues.
(youngone, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:22, Reply)

SAVAGE GARDEN
there is a song by them that was in the charts and the first few bars were the same note, i think 12 lots of the same note.......UTTER PANTS, ive chipped my teeth and broken my own jaw listening to that song.
(confectionery girl, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:19, Reply)

"Honey" By Bobby fucking Goldsboro
From the dreadfully sugar-coated introduction to the last morbid reminiscence of his dead wife, you, like I, will want to rip the CD player apart with your teeth to get it to stop making that appalling noise before the bloody angels come to take her away halfway through. I hate this record with a passion. It is, and always will be, the worst record ever recorded. It makes my teeth stand on end it's that sickly. Everyone involved with its writing, recording, production and dissemination deserve nothing better than slow, painful death. Please, I beg you, don't play this record!
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:16, Reply)

Dancing in the Moonlight
by Toploader.
There's only two lines in it as far as I can tell.
And they're both shit. Spend some time on the lyrics boys. zeppelin.
( christhebarker, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:15, Reply)

Ritteyyy
Anything you ever hear in a MCdonalds store is the shittest crappest of the lowest of satans scrotum diabolical crap to ever pass through the airwaves.....tonite matthew we have
The fast food rockers - TOSS!!!
Justin Timberlake - Id make him cry a f u cking river
The Mcdonalds im LOVIN IT SONG - the biggest load of toss of it all what the f u c k is the point in this heap of shite (im an employee ARGHHHHH and after hearing this song evey 5 minutes for an 8 hour stretch ud confess to any sins to get out, they cld play it to the afghans in that american prison camp)
girls aloud - =SHIT
All Dancey/club music =all crap and can be made by mixing sounds of ppl farting burping and a woman orgasming to a beat that is so repetative even the energizer bunny cant compete. one i heard l8tly in work was the aerosmith song "dont wanna miss a thing" a really nice song and some cock had made it all dancey and had some woman singing it it was so bad i almost cried, how can u take a excellent song like that and turn it into the biggest heap of arse imaginable, the smiths were rite hang the dj hang the dj.
the fact that this music can be made with little or no effort says it all, think of all those songs written by genuine artists over the years Beatles, Chilli peppers etc theyve written the music, and the lyrics, whilst dj's who make this abysmal toss just say hey look ive got a sound file of a goat masturbating lets mix it with man on a skooter and loop it weve got a number 1 record here yay....sorry it sucks.
Craig shoot me in the face David = enough said
Limp Dickzit (bizkit) - i just cant stand these guys durst is up his own arse and should be bitch slapped for making such toss music *slappety*

mmmmm....not sure if ive covered em all, so many out there to name ahh well ill leave that small list and when i think of more ill be back
:p
(Count Spazula, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:12, Reply)

Almost forgot...
Sex Dwarf by Soft Cell.

Did I tell you I own the Joe Dolce album?
( mikeyyy, Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:04, Reply)

Hold Us Down or whatever by that Aguleira...
Hold her down? I'd fucking hold her under that's for sure- although to be fair drowning's too good for her. Will she ever just piss off?- who's buying this rubbish? Cover yourself up you tiresome slag- no-one wants to hear how you felated your way to the top of the charts...

She's like McDonalds- on every street corner, but my God you'll be sick as a dog if you ever go inside...
(Me and your sisters- at it. DVDs/Videos 10 quid., Wed 3 Dec 2003, 14:03, Reply)