I am almost an 8 stone weakling

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:19, archived)

Almost, as in "I am almost as tall as Mount Everest".

( Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

Relatively you are
to something infinitessimaly small, you might as well be as tall as mount everest in the same way that a billion light years is practically the same distance as a Billion, Billion light years.

Both are much too far to walk home after a session on the booze.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

That's almost amusing.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

How was the carvery, you miserable bastard?

( thealternativefact, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

Shit.
And my farts stink today because of all the cauliflower cheese.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

YOU FUCKING PEAS-DOPHILE

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

I didn't have any peas.
Peas are shit.
There is always a better option than peas.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

I BET YOU DE-CAULI-FLOWERED SOME YOUNG BOYS AND THAT

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

At least your expectations were met.

( thealternativefact, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

Fuck this.
I'm going to SAINSWAYS to buy CHOCOLATE.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

I BET YOU FcarROT SOMEONES BUM

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

Carrots are shit.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

No
shit is shit.

Vegetables are ace, not understanding this is why you are a fat man.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

I like cauliflower.
And cabbage.
And gourdy veg.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

But only when they are layered thinly on top of a lard and arse pie

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

I'm almost attractive and good at sex.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

I weigh 13 stone.
I shall crush you with the help of gravity.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

Poof

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

I think the noise you'll make is more of a creaking sound, then a large crack,
rather than "poof".
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:35, archived)

I'm twelve stone and quite feeble
Can I play?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:20, archived)

Eat more protein, then

( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

I almost eat nothing.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE CATLEGS
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Thu 21 May 2009, 11:41, archived)

I'm almost decent

(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:21, archived)

I almost bought Stevie Wonder a cheese grater for Christmas

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:23, archived)

that's very considerate of you
I heard his previous grater was broken.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

Not so much broken
more that he'd read it so many times he was bored with the story.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:35, archived)

I'm an 8 and a half stone weakling
most of that is Tea Weight, though.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

Tea Weight Champeeen of the World;
Spang O'Lynn.

Rubbing her cr3men soaked fanny in baldmonkey's face.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

pfft at "cr3men"

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

Have a big poo and wash your fanny
you'll probably only be six stone then.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

is that an official boxing weight?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

I'm now imagining her in a box
on some scales at the post office.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

yeah
above us are Hot Chocolate Weights and below are Glass of Water Weights.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:47, archived)

I've almost just followed through...
terrible golf swing.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:22, archived)

The Boy George episode of The A Team was on the other day; "Cowboy George."
Unfortunately I didn't have time to watch it.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:25, archived)

I like to think I'm 10% B A Baracus 10% Hannibal 10% Murdock and 20% The Face & 50% Cher

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

No.
10% Russell Brand, 45% Cher, 30% a squeaky floor board and 15% impotent rage masked as friendliness.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

I'd put you down as 90% Ade Edmonson 10% Fritzl

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:32, archived)

I'd put you down.
Like a vet with a shit-cat.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:33, archived)

You would
in some pathetic, impotent dream sequence played out in your own head.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

I almost would like to meet you again.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:35, archived)

I'd almost get you in a headlock and fart in your hair

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:35, archived)

You're 16% boiled potato, 81% jacket potato 3% cheese flux

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:35, archived)

let's have a fight
I'm from Oldham don't you know.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

you're a lavender scented pansy
you'd try to scale me with crampons.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

you'd try and SPD my crotch to death.

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:29, archived)

I'd tie you to the front forks of my bike
and use you as a "clacker"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

win

( GrandmaOfShoes, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:35, archived)

that's a rubbish downhilling weight.
RUBBISH. eat pies.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:24, archived)

I was lying
this is the internet.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:26, archived)

I've met you
I know.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

Are you the one with the Popeye tattoo on your goolies ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:28, archived)

Is this a lie?
I can't tell what's real anymore.
( Jobe, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:30, archived)

Try here
www.b3ta.com/QOTW
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:31, archived)

It's true
Christmas bash a few years ago. he's about the size of Flappers. If he was 8 stone he'd be seethrough.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:51, archived)

I'm an internet fatty, yes I am.
*troughs lard and cakes*
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

*pokes you with a stick*
*watches resultant jiggling*
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:27, archived)

Now that's sexy, RIGHT there

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:34, archived)

I call it
"bellydancing for the Internet generation"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:36, archived)