We've just been discussing the outcome to the Baby P case.
One woman in my office said 'He didn't die, did he?'

Do you work with stupid twats? If you don't work, do you know any stupid twats?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:21, archived)

Surely if you don't work with stupid twats, then you ARE the stupid twat.
_{and then John was a zombie.}
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

My work just keep using arsewords like, "touching base," "synergy" and "blue sky thinking".

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

I've used "end of play" more than once
kill me.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

*kills you*
Twenty.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

what about the remaining 3?

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:26, archived)

*tiger uppercuts Street Fighter 2 style*
Twenty-Two
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

*picks teeth off floor*

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

My Boss once actually said
"Joined Up Thinking" when reprimanding a workmate.

What a twat. Still, he devoted his life to RTOL then they redundantified him. Serves him right I say.
(Audioduck So, can I haz fucking Cheezburgers or not?, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

yes quite a few
but less than anywhere else I've ever worked.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:22, archived)

Yes
they're called "the general public"

Also I work with a guy who provides 90% of my workload, by constantly wanting software (usually crap he found on the internet) installing. He's trying to get the management team to make us grant him administrator privilages again - but every PC he's had that had him as administrator has come back wrecked within 6 months
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 22 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

She's not here any more, but my old manager was convinced that Nu Labour were a different party to Labour.
She was surprised they let them get away with having such a similar name.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:23, archived)

I used to
he left rather quickly. He got involved in a discussion about the feasibility of God once. Poor lamb never stood a chance.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

*gives you a dead leg in both legs*
Twenty-One
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:25, archived)

*flails from floor*

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

In my old job there was a right proper God botherer there.
He'd stop the office in the morning and say stuff like 'I hope you all have a great working day. Jesus loves you'.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

Pfft.
I like a good discussion, but when your only point of argument is "But it's in the Bible", the Spangolin-brand Withering Stare 4000 comes into play.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

aw, that's sweet.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

Nail the fucker to a church door.
That normally sorts out the truly pious from the pretenders.
(Audioduck So, can I haz fucking Cheezburgers or not?, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

then what do you do with the ones who pass?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

That's nice, though.
At least it wasn't 'Sinners, stop working, for I feel I must tell you about the certain hell that faces fornicating satanists such as yourselves'.

Not that I know anyone like that, or am like that.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

"Consider the lily" seems to have worked for me so far.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

*considers*
...now what?
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

err... that's it.
your manna from heaven benefits will arrive shortly.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

I wonder what manna tastes like.
Or are you meant to rub it on your skin? I'm never sure.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

you eat it.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manna
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:40, archived)

hee hee
that's one of the oddest Wiki entries I've ever read.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:48, archived)

oh that's pretty tame by my experience.
there's far more bizarre stuff than that if you dig around.

Lilith, the Sethian Priesthood, the Nephilim, the Infancy Gospel of Thomas is particularly good.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:55, archived)

also
www.sacred-texts.com/jud/tmm/tmm05.htm
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:57, archived)

is this the massively old bit of the Bible?
Shit's crazy, yo.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:00, archived)

that particular text is a post-christian Jewish production, I think.
The story itself may have more ancient origins in the tradition.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:04, archived)

this is properly ancient:
There's loads of this sort of stuff
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:06, archived)

I got screamed at in the underground for being a satanist once.
Bless the chap, it was about a month after I'd converted as well. Silly bugger.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

I wish to learn more of the circumstances of this incident.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

Captain walking, obviously quite het up chap shouting, Captain chuckles to herself, gets on the tube.
It was in Marylebone, if that makes you any happier.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

Oh.
I was wondering what it was that may have indicated to him that you were a satanist. And also what you had converted to and how he would have known.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:41, archived)

He wouldn't have done
it just tickled me that a month after I converted to Christianity some mental inthe tube accuses me of being a Satanist.

I was dressed a bit gothy, I assumed it was that.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:42, archived)

Time to up the fornicating!

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

I do so love calling my colleagues heathens.
Only for japes, like.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

*points at internet*

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

I work with a woman who seems to talk about herself constantly

(likeajackhammer, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:24, archived)

The 811 Bradford to Skipton has about 400 of them on it
Some of the blokes I work with are borderline psychotic ex army types, one of those is a self confessed racist magistrate.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

Racist Magistrate would be an ace band name

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

He thinks it's fine as magistrates are meant to cover all sections of society
Some of whom are racist.

His first self financed EP will be called "Hanging's too good for the Paki with a parking fine"
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

or a good name for a remote village
( vladimir, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

Our customers tend to be more twattish than the people I work with.
Case in point about our software; customer rings, says a job isn't appearing on the 'not completed jobs' report and she's furious the software isn't working right. This is because the job was completed earlier today. I tell her this and she whinges that it was appearing yesterday in the report. When it was not completed.
( FoldsFive, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:27, archived)

mrnnnngggg

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

I enjoy the parts of my job where you point out their error (politely and professionally, of course) and you can hear the wind being knocked from their sails.
You can almost hear the synapses fire as they desperately try to justify their complaint even though the logic is misfiring in their brains. They audibly splutter because they don't know what to say, but they've fired themselves up for an argument so they have to say something.
( FoldsFive, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

I know what you mean.
I don't get how it's so hard to admit your own mistakes - I fuck up all the bloody time, you just apologise, say "oh silly me" then get on with it.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

Punters are ace
EDit/ 207.44.242.20/talk/6167599
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:28, archived)

In her defence, the idea that a child so obviously abused could have been let down so badly is implausable

( WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:30, archived)

When the story broke I had to read the article a couple of times to get my head around it.
Aren't we going to see sentencing soon in the trial?
( WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

it's been done,
life for the bloke super no parole life for the mother.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:33, archived)

actually I've now actually read the article
she must serve at least 5 years but there she's got an indefinate sentance so she'll stay in until "deemed no longer to be a risk to the public and in particular to small children".
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:35, archived)

I heard that the Judge at the Old Bailey passed sentence whilst driving past in a Honda Accord.

( WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:37, archived)

No.
Not in her defence. She's a fucking idiot. After all the months of news and reporting on the death of that child, she didn't know if he'd actually died or not.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:32, archived)

I'm sure there are news stories that you are ignorant of as well.

( WormuIus, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)

There might well be
but not one as highly publicised as this one. Cop on, Seb. Don't just argue for arguments sake.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:38, archived)

I either study with stupid twats or I am the stupid twat.
I just came out of an exam thinking I'd aced it when everyone else said they found it really hard. Hmmmm. Am I super clever or stuper stupid?
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Fri 22 May 2009, 12:31, archived)

I used to get this a lot.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, archived)