So, i've been watching that 'Embarassing Illnesses' show on the tellybox

If you were to be on it, what horrid, diseased part of your body would you be showing off?
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 25 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

Mine would be my awesome bowels

( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 25 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

*Parp*

( jim_bob can herd cats., Mon 25 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

They shoved a speculum up an 18 year old girls bottom last week
It made me think of Mongy.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 25 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

Shhh!
Don't tell SickRik, it will give him the horn.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 25 May 2009, 15:55, archived)

It is a pretty sexy image.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 25 May 2009, 16:05, archived)

I imagine it's like having bum sex with a robot

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:29, archived)

Exactly like it.
Mmmm, metalic.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:31, archived)

Speculums drive the fear of god into all women.
Men don't understand.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:36, archived)

Nope, we don't.
Generally we have no wish to find out (i'm sure there are some s&m types who enjoy a good speculuming).
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:38, archived)

Those filthy brutes just love to be swabbed.

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:40, archived)

I'm sure they do.
If something exists, someone somewhere will get off on it!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:43, archived)

all you have to do is lie back and think of cylons/ T-1000/ bender/ twiki from buck rogers

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:40, archived)

*mingecringe*

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:42, archived)

With Doctor Theopolis spitting in your mouth

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:44, archived)

What an amazing expression.
I'm guessing it is like a toecurl but relating to sexy embarrasment?
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:45, archived)

It's like a sort of frontal clenching in disgust.
Most women experience this when they see Piston Broke.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:46, archived)

I am not female and I have never met PistonBroke.
I'll never get to experience a mingecringe.

There must be a male version but i'm spectacularly failing to think of anything funny that rhymes.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:48, archived)

"frontal clenching" really is the only way to describe it

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:50, archived)

Well, I have learned something today.
Thank you!

How about 'willy wince' or 'cock cower' for men?
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

I imagine
*wilt* would cover it, for men.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:54, archived)

Ok, next time I see a particulary hideous specimin.
I will be thinking of willy wilts and mingecringes.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

NSFW
Performance art
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:42, archived)

blimey.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:44, archived)

Aceness.
More performance art also NSFW, possibly NSFA

foodforanimals.com/aurora/orlan4.jpg
enculturation.gmu.edu/1_2/calvin/orlan.htm
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:45, archived)

I thought she was cleaning her ear out with a stick in that first photo

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:46, archived)

Nope!
That's a scalpel stuck in her face.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:48, archived)

Orlan is a proper twat.
/opinionlols
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:46, archived)

I've met her and I think she's pretty ace.
A bit mad of course but I actually think her art is very funny and interesting.
/different opinion lols
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:47, archived)

I'm not looking forward to Speculum O Clock.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:44, archived)

It's horrid.
But obviously everyone is different. It mightn't be too bad for you. My cervix goes off to the right. The nurse found these directions very helpful.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:45, archived)

pfft
I hope you drew them a helpful map.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

True fact here
Fanny nurses can't find Ms Official's cervix. Now, I'm no fannyologist, but I'm fairly certain it's there.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

I have a really odd mental image now
involving torches and those long up-to-the-elbow gloves.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:55, archived)

That's more or less what happens
She had 'A Scare' some time ago and has to have regular colposcopy. Every time it's a new person gaping up her fanny they get lost. She'll be thrilled I told the internet this.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

Have you ever been for a smear?

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:45, archived)

nope
doctors really discourage it until you're 25, now.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:49, archived)

I was so annoyed when they changed it.
I had to go through mine at 21.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:50, archived)

errrk

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

Really? I had mine a year ago and I'm only just 22.
I have a semi embarrassing smear test lols story but I don't know if I should share.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:50, archived)

how weird
I've asked every time I've been to the doctors, just to make sure, but they keep saying Nooooo. Apparently they are coming back with lots of abnormal results (and having to do unnecessary Further Investigation) when it is just the girlparts developing naturally.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:52, archived)

did everything evert?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

Well I was lying there, ready for my smear
the nurse got the speculum up me and then turned away to get the swabs. While her back was turned the speculum shot out of me, landing neatly on a book shelf on the other side of the room.

The nurse had to stop for a bit, she laughed so much she cried.

/smear lols blog
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 25 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

Men in Thailand pay lots of money to see stuff like that.

( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 25 May 2009, 17:02, archived)

fantastic muscles, Miss FD
*handshakes*
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 25 May 2009, 17:03, archived)

*grins awkwardly*
*shakes your hand back*

I didn't even clench though, it's just pinged out.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 25 May 2009, 17:06, archived)

maybe your vageen is possessed.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 25 May 2009, 17:13, archived)

you're not kidding anyone,
your fanny is dinsauresque.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 25 May 2009, 23:21, archived)

"We're in luck! This image was made at the tail end of my bleeding time, so if you look closely, you can see a little drop of menstrual blood making its debut at the opening in the center of the cervix, which is called the os. It sure is a magical place".

:( how is that "in luck"

*massive sadface*
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 25 May 2009, 16:45, archived)

^This

( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:46, archived)

like OS X?

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:50, archived)

I'm pronouncing it like "Oz".
I'm not sure if I am going to link this to Oz the TV show or the Land of Oz.

One's a magical place, one's where people get shivved. I'm not sure which is the most accurate metaphor.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 25 May 2009, 16:53, archived)

I hope I don't hanve monkeys flying out of mine, is all I'm saying.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:56, archived)

Not again at any rate.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 25 May 2009, 17:24, archived)

I think it is pronounced 'oss'
I study bones and stuff and generally 'os' means opening as in 'os coxae' the hip bones that have a hole at the bottom.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:57, archived)

Pah. I study physics
and has such knows no information about the female body at all
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 25 May 2009, 16:59, archived)

Physics is a real man's science anyway!

( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 25 May 2009, 17:00, archived)

my arm-o-wangs

( spacefish bong!, Mon 25 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

I don't understand that programme.
At what point do you think 'I have this hideous affliction that i'm so embarrased about I can't go to see my GP, so i'll show everyone on telly instead'?

Obviously i'm perfect but if I had to have something....

Ricketts. Not enough people have ricketts these days.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 25 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

Because they'll pay for a 5k breast reduction operation that would otherwise take five years for on the NHS

( TonyUNDERSCORE from the Internet, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:11, archived)

That is a fair point.

( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:20, archived)

This.
I mean, look at it. Srsly.
( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Mon 25 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

Nothing
I'm fucking gorgeous, and there's nothing wrong with me.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 25 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

And employed yes?

( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:33, archived)

I'm 100% healthy.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 25 May 2009, 15:59, archived)

Are you skiving?
I wouldn't want to show any of it, especially if it was all diseased.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:00, archived)

Never.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:10, archived)

ermmmm probably my brain

( TopUpTheTea you ain't seen me, right?, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:17, archived)

probably if you had one
/internet bullying.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 25 May 2009, 16:18, archived)

I judge this bullying to be 3.5/5

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:24, archived)

Can I have some more feeback please?
How would I get to 5/5?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 25 May 2009, 16:34, archived)

Try harder
You faaahkin 'orrible caaant!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:36, archived)

I have a terrible case of egg bind

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:29, archived)

My penis is properly massive and that

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:39, archived)

not really it's tiny

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:39, archived)

not really it's size is not unusual at all.
I don't know why I keep talking about it.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:40, archived)

is your embarrassing illness a rapidly and continuously inflating and deflating penis?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:41, archived)

that's more of a hobby than an illness.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 25 May 2009, 16:42, archived)