Went to the zoo yesterday.
Littlest girl said was so excited that her brain jumped up and down and some juice leaked from her ear.

When was the last time you was properly excited about something?

And you can't say sex, cos we're all fat virgins on here.
( jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:15, archived)

Probably about going to see the rays at Chessington.
I fucking love rays.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

that'd be a shit place to work
all day you'd hear people making the same dad jokes about X rays and Ray Winstone and other people called Ray

and then one day you'd just flip out and bring an AK47 to work and murder everyone
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:41, archived)

Today, because I can have a lie in tomorrow and I haven't been able to do that
for a couple of weeks.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

Whats kept you so busy?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

The meet last weekend
and I can't have lie ins during the week due to smelly poo work.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

You work in the sewers?
GASP! Can you get me Splinter's autograph?
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

Hahahaha, if that were true I'd be too busy
happily being tagteamed by BeBop and Rocksteady.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

cor

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:40, archived)

You betcha.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

Filth.

( Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

Only a little bit.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

I dunno
BeBop and Rocksteady were quite hefty, as I remember.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:55, archived)

:(

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:58, archived)

I like me a husky lad.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 15:00, archived)

What the fuck?

( Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

Which bit's giving you a problem?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

The whole... image. Oh god, where's the mindbleach?
Oh god, oh god, please make it stop.
( Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

Fucking charming.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:48, archived)

When I saw Derren Brown
I was like eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.

Like that, see.

I'm a half poof, you see.
(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:16, archived)

did you jump up and down?

( jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

I did not, but I was very excited
He is pretty awesome.

Second row as well. On the end of the row, so whenever he walked into the audience, I could have punched him the leg.

IF I WANTED TO.

I didn't though
(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

half poof =/= shit, though

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

WHAT

(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

Derren Brown.
Shit.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

Oh... my... gosh...
:(
(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

IF HE TOLD YOU TO THINK OF A WORD
HE'D BE ABLE TO SAY THE WORD YOU'RE THINKING OF.

HE IS AWESOME.

THIS IS AN AWESOME POWER.
(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

He never guessed when I thought about guffbeaks

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

haha, if you asked ANY of us what word you were thinking of
we'd get that. unless it was 'pug'
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

Maybe, but WHICH ONE?!?!?

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

RONG

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

Noooo
he's very sexy.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

I hate all those crappy "psychics"

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

He's not, he's just buggering good at reading body language, hein?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

that's what I mean
it's not mystical, it's just reading people. I find it a bit meh.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

I still think it's sexy
he's a bit sinister and for some reason that always rubs me up the right way. Magic sinister, not old man in the park at night sinister.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

His 'Trick or Treat' series was a bit surreal at times.
This is good.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

He out and out SAYS that it isn't mystical.
That's like saying "yeah, I hate Tim Minchin because he keeps talking about God"
(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

My best mate's frightened of Tim Minchin
she almost made me turn off Buzzcocks.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

easy now Frizzle
you seem to be taking this rather personally.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

I am :(

(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

I'm sure he's a lovely human being
I just think his shows are a bit boring.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

[Sad Face]
Sad Fat
(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

Hahaha!
Do you even know who he is?! He says out loud that "psychic" people are bullshit. And to show this, he shows the methods they use. However, he does it for entertainment purposes.. he's not a cunt who says "yes, I am talking to your dead relative"... he's a brilliant showman, and I will not hear another bad word about him.
(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

He released a book calling himself a Mentalist.
That's all I need to say.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAAAA
I'M LAGUHING LOUDER THAN YOOOOOU HA HA HA HA HA HA
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

I win, close match...
*mops brow*
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

*COCK IN FACE PUNCH*

(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

I DODGE THY NEEDLE
AND SHOO YOU AWAY LIKE A BLUEBOTTLE WHOSE HAD HIS HEAD SUCTION CUPPED.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)

:,(

(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:31, archived)

*tickles*

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)

I'm quite excited to get home actually
cr3's been DIY-ing today and I will come home to a sofa and shelves!
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

He's made a sofa?!

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

I'd be even more impressed if that was the case
but I think the nice people at IKEA made the sofa.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

I want a new sofa, but only because I don't like navy blue leather.
However, the navy blue leather one we currently have is the comfiest sofa in the world. I'm torn. New and pretty or old and comfy and not matching the new decor?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

Stick a cover on it, or dye it.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

It's covered in throws
I might make a fitted cover for it but....well, effort, isn't it?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

Yeah, and they always fall off
We used to have one on our shitty old couch.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

Fuck it, I might just get a new couch.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

You could get it reupholstered?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

There's that, yeah.
I'm just being indecisive.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

Oooh, I bet we have a similar sofa!
Which one is it?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

it's brahhhhhn.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

Ours is a navy type thing.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

I made 2 beds not so long back

( jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:18, archived)

I wish I was useful.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

I don't have much choice
either I do it, or it doesn't get done.
( jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

I'm going to put up shelves soon
All the DVDs and books are going on the wall. I don't think you'll be able to see half the walls in our living room once I've finished.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

I bought two bookcases
and put them up because, my original bookcase was groaning under the weight of all the books and DVDs
( jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

I've almost run out of floor space, you see
hence the wall shelves, utilise some of the 11 foot of height.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:26, archived)

High Ceilings!
What I would give for high ceilings.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

Yeah, we paid through the nose for them though.
It all breaks down when it's a right hassle changing lightbulbs, even when my 6ft1/2 partner is stood on a table reaching with all his might.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

You should stand on his shoulders :)
Or get a stepladder, whichever's easiest/more fun
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)

I'm terrified of heights.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

Not the best idea then :(
I thought of a great halloween costume for your lovely manwife earlier :P
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

Predator?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

Terl from Battlefield Earth
www.imdb.com/media/rm3494549760/ch0010643

He'd look awesome
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

try taping a trained monkey to a broom handle

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

Out of network cables and discarded PC cases
Spango gets a little cotton wool ball to sit on :) aww
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

Ahhhh, that sounds lovely.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

Yeah I know, I'm kinda jealous now :( the cotton wool that is, not the PC case sofa :S

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

If we sat you in loads of cotton wool
it'd look really playgirl, though.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

Is that a problem?

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

Not for me, no.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

Good good
*cameras flash* *starts crying* AAAaawwaaaii I'M A HUMAN BEING!!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)

BE QUIET
pop some of that ice on your nipples.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

D': yes miss

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

aw you've seen it?
My little cotton wool ball is so comfy. A bit big, though.

We have so far made:
1 tv/media cabinet
1 shower screen
1 table
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

Coolios :)
I bet cr3 is eating raw meat atm due to doing manly man man things :)
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

Ikea does not count as DIY
when is your sexy housewarming party?
( SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

it bloody does
I worked up a right sweat making a bedside table last night. I had to bolt it to the bed and everything. Drills were involved, and hammers.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

You've responded to the wrong part of my post

( SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

also housewarming will be At Some Point
as it's still a bit of a mess :)
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

Ooooh, sounds like we have the same bedset aswell:)

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

Malm?
:)
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

Yep!
:)
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

the little tables are a bugger to attach to the bed.

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

I'm moving into my own place in 2 weeks and I have to go furniture and electrical shopping this weekend :(
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

My lovely mother gave me a futon she wasn't using
Everything else has been bought and transported on buses.
( SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

I'm getting some furniture
But I have to buy expensive things like sofas and the like :(
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

I get excited over the smallest things.
I've got a pair of sparkly purpley rainbowy shoes from Priceless Shoes for a tenner, I get excited just watching them sparkle.

I'm a moron.
( Bats, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

meh, your happy
the secret to a happy life is a low IQ and lower expectations.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:21, archived)

Sounds to me like your daughter has epilipsy.

( SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

has epilipsy. is awesome.
( jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

awesome brainwrong
( SuperMatt, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU'RE PONDERING FOR SOME NONCERING

(__, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

she is my daughter
that kinda went without saying.
( jenpots, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

probably when my new ebay guitar arrived
I was like a kid on christmas morning ripping the parcel open
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:17, archived)

What you got?
I sold my rare Ibanez (only 200 ever made) the other day for more than I bought it for :D
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

lots and lots of stratocasters
www.gilgamesh.zen.co.uk/guitars/
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

fair enough, Only strat I like is the Billy Corgan ed. I've always been more of a Gibson for guitars fan
Although I think fender P basses are the best :)
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

i get quite excited about most things.
i'm a bit childish, like that.
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

going fishing thrills me everytime
the excitement of catching a carp never ends for me
( mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:19, archived)

haha, oh mongy
you are a card
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

it is thrilling, i vibrate with pleasure just on the way to the lake
and when the buzzers scream off and the clutch is running, my heart starts pounding as i lift into the fish, then the nervous game is afoot, minutes feel like hours until you have your quarry safe on the unhooking mat, still you are buzzing on adrenaline, then i have a beer
( mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

have you ever spluffed your waders?

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

not my waders no, not that i have waders, i don't go in, i sit about drinking and smoking till the above described happens
lazy carping, great stuff
( mongychops, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

My breakfast snickers bar

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

Thats not brain juice
Thats the sperm of a close family member
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:20, archived)

or pet

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

oh, last night I was out with friends and one had her kids with her, her son and I were laughing about something
and she said "look at you guys bonding, I didn't think you even liked kids, Kristine!" and I replied "I love kids! But not in that awkward way" and sort of winked at her.
Then it got awkward.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

oops
parents have no sense of humor when it comes to pedophiles.
why cant they just CHILLAX
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

RIGHT?!
gosh, it's just tickling
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:32, archived)

right
www.youtube.com/watch?v=dC6iQwoXc-w&feature=fvw
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:36, archived)

arses
I don't have sound at work.
Must watch later.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:37, archived)

you must its from a program called monkey dust
check out 'Clive's excuses' from it
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:39, archived)

I. Love. You.

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

hahaha then she was all "Why would you even say that?"
I just laughed at her.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:30, archived)

was it a evil laugh
like ha ha ha BWAH HAH AHA HA
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

Lezza.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:34, archived)

Cock

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:46, archived)

I like this.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

TAKE THAT NEXT WEDNESDAY
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:22, archived)

last week when I was invited to go to the bahamas for the low low price of $200.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:23, archived)

gonna go?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:25, archived)

No. Because then it was 'Oh, I need $150 for your plane ticket to new york'
then it was 'and an extra $80 for gratuities'
it's still cheap as hell but I can't afford it right now
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:27, archived)

what are 'gratuties' exactly?
was this with ryanair?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:28, archived)

It was a cruise set to leave new york so it's just like a tip for the staff, $10 a day.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:33, archived)

tipping is alien and disgusting to me

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:38, archived)

If its included in the price its not a tip.
tell the cheap bastards to pay their staff more
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:40, archived)

I'm going to tell them to suck my rigid cock

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:42, archived)

damn straight
btw, is a $150 a fair price to pay to fly to new york from where your from? it would cost me about ten times that
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:45, archived)

fuck no, it takes 5 hours to drive there from here

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:47, archived)

Just checked the BBC
We Got Bristol
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:24, archived)

Arses we lost most of the west country
and the Tories took staffordshire for the first time since 1977
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:43, archived)

When me and you didn't do sex.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:29, archived)

I'm going for a picnic tomorrow
I'm quite excited about that.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 5 Jun 2009, 14:44, archived)