Politilols
How to win if you're in the Green Party.
Keep all your environmental policies, but tack on a 'No More Johnny Foriegner' policy. You can then canvass the ignorant scaredy-cat votes, the racist vote, AND the militant eco-warrior vote. Simples.
*squeaky sound*
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:21, archived)

HELLO YOU.
i am totally going to sort out my randomburns this week. GET READY FOR AWESOME*.


*may be shit.
( sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:23, archived)

Johnny Catfish said I had 'an excellent music library'.
I was proper big headed and that. Validation from one of the blokes with awesome musical tastes, ONLINE.

Hello birthday chum.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)

ARE YOU SENDING ME ONE?
hello.
( sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)

I'm not.
Do you want one? I personally didn't think it was that great but *shrug*
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)

HELL YEAH.
i am sending you one. you're on my list.
( sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)

as in, i added you to my list. my list is now 7.

( sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)

you'll hate it. it'll be FANTASTIC.

( sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)

HURRY UP PLEASE
i only have one so far
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:32, archived)

i only have one so far TOO.
i have done the song selection, i have to sort it into reasonable order, burn, make tracklists and parcel them up. IT IS A LOT OF WORK i'll have you know.
( sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:33, archived)

i think 2 people last year never bothered sending me them
ONE WAS GONZO bad gonzo :(
( sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)

i know it is, i did it too!
do you want one of mine? it's brilliant
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)

I WOULDN'T SAY NO TO THAT.

( sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)

OK, COOL
gaz me your address
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:35, archived)

I got Harlod bishops love child cd the other day.
Haven't had chance to listen to it but the listing looks good.
( BindiBaji, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

i sent him one. actually, i sent you one too!
i only had a first name on the address list so that's why it was addressed to 'bindibaji tom' or whatever your name is. forgotten now.
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

Cool, Look forward to it.
I've got to burn cds and write up tracklisting. Addresses on jiffy bags and cover all done.
( BindiBaji, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

have you not got it already?
hmm, i sent it ages ago.
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:58, archived)

Nope.
My postmans a bit crap though.
( BindiBaji, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

I quite like Johnny Foriegner
my local corner shop has gone bust and been shut for a couple of months, and I've just learnt that some Indian guys are taking it over. It's re-opening! Hooray!
( rob, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

I have Johnny Foreigner for a girlfriend
She's only French so not one of those proper Johnny Foreigners but I like her being here.

because she lets me spuff on her tits
(Goatse not a comedy account, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)

she only lets you do that because your spunk smells oniony and it reminds her of home and riding a bike wearing a beret.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)

beret helmet

Saftey first!
( BindiBaji, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)

It's ok, if a French person falls over they just walk about a bit and shrug it off

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:40, archived)

Blimey,
I always thought the french where rubbish.
( BindiBaji, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

In stripes across her chest, right?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)

is that a particularly french thing to do?

( sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:47, archived)

Windows 7 is actually a bit bloody good.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

they should call it Windows 007
and make it play the James Bond theme when it crashes.
( rob, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)

YES!

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)

They'd do better if they said 'fuckit' to the green stuff
Set up a regime based on powering our national grid through burning bunnies. That'll get the votes in.
( Theoban What of it, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)

The Greens were the only party that bothered to turn up on our doorstep.
Two lovely girls they were too. One had a fantastic chest. I'd have given her my vote, if you know what I mean.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)

You'd have put your mark in her box?

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)

I'd have shagged her too.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)

you need to tell them you're undecided
so that they have to come in for a cup tea to persuade you
( rob, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)

Real life grooming
lol
(Goatse not a comedy account, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)

Remember to point out you only have the one cup between them.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)

My Black Panther (White Chocolate Wing) Party
Did better than last time!

DOWN WITH THE WHITES.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)

I like asking my 4 year old son what colour we are
"PINK!" he says
( rob, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)

Well, you red heads kinda are...
I'm just a very very very light black man with two white parents.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:29, archived)

you talk the talk,
but can you walk the walk?
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:33, archived)

'course I can PLAYA!
*pulls trousers down around bum and shows off pants and minces about*

Oh, no, wait...no I can't.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)

looked good to me!

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:43, archived)

he's not a redhead
he just going on the actual colour of white peoples skin - which is pink.
( rob, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:33, archived)

and blotchy. with bits of yellow and blue and that.

( sleepybinky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)

Mine's a kind of failed liver yellow.
Like I've been bathing in mustard.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:35, archived)

yeah, but that's because you bathe in mustard

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)

oh yeah :)

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

TANGY!

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:47, archived)

I'd name my candidates after the four horsemen
I'd be famine, for ironylols.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)

when will the people of briton wake up to the fact that tough border control and not allowing every fucker in is not a racist agenda

( mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:29, archived)

I think we should allow people in depending on if their national food is any good.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)

I would go with this.
Trouble is I like most food.
( Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

Jerk Chicken?!? IN YOU COME! :D

what's this...a dirty, curly thing is see-through sauce...mmmmGET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)

Are you confusing food with a toilet bowl there?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

chinese japanese hairy knees look at these

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

We should have Marco Pierre White and Gordon Ramsey on border control.

( Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:41, archived)

i don't think we should let anyone in ever, not even for a holiday, fucking tourists

( mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)

GOVERNMENT IN MELTDOWN
THE WHEELS ARE FALLING OFF BROWN'S AUSCHWITZ SOCIALISM DEATH TRAIN.
TO THE CAMERON MOBILE!
( WormuIus, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:39, archived)

nenenenenenenenenenepunchthepoor
nenenenenenenenenenepunchthepoor
PUNCH THE POOR PUNCH THE POOR PUNCH THE POOR
NENENENENENEEEEEEEE PUNCHDAPOOOOR!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

I'm voting Punch The Poor. I'm not elitist.
*stock picture*
( ArthurTheRat, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:46, archived)

With that nice Mr Tebbit at the wheel
the Tories can surely wipe that racist sentiment off the political map.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

I FOR ONE WELCOME OUR NEW TAX LOWERING OVERLORDS
MAKE THE DOLERS CLEAN UP DOG POO FOR THEIR FISHFINGER SANDWICHES.
( WormuIus, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:47, archived)

i'd like a real leader in power that had good genetics, not the current ones who seem to have spastic children who die
let's have someone in charge who can atleast reproduce properly
( mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:43, archived)

Nick Clegg has some kids
they seem pretty healthy.
( WormuIus, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)