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Podcast.
Dear baldmonkey. Please.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:32, archived)
Dear Baldmonkey
If you could do something funny what would it be?
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:34, archived)
Dear Baldmonkey,
why can't I get anything to upload on my Mac? Youtube, Flickr, Gmail attachments, anything.
(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:34, archived)
Are you running iSmug v13?

(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:37, archived)
I've been on the v14 beta for weeks now
*smug*
(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:39, archived)
well that's why you can't get 'owt to uplaod then!
*outsmugs*
(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:40, archived)
Have you tried ctrl click?
Have you got the right drivers?
(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:45, archived)
what version of Windows is it running?

(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:53, archived)
Dear Baldmonkey.
Would you like to buy a T shirt with a picture of Cuffbert on it?
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:34, archived)
Dear Baldmonkey
What the fuck is up with my speakers and why aren't they working properly?

Yours in silence,
Pickle
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)
Ditto
The soundcard on my pc is knackered. Silence or ipod + headphones for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:36, archived)
This is my actual speakers
Well, I think it is. Sometimes when they switch on, the on light is dimmer than it should be and that is when they don't work. I don't know what is causing that other than borkedness :(
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:39, archived)
could be the transformer packing up

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:40, archived)
Like Optimus Prime?
*sadface*
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:42, archived)
Have you checked the power supply?
My soundcard is buggered, no sound for about 3 weeks now. No money to replace it either.
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:41, archived)
Of course I haven't
I wouldn't know what to do.
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:42, archived)
As Mongy suggested it might be the transformer.
Easy to check with a multimeter, if you pop down to a hardware shop you might find someone who will do it for you if you ask nicely.
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:46, archived)
*stupid question alert*
Where is the transformer?
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:47, archived)
If you have a cable from the mains to the speakers
there will more than likely be a box somewhere on the cable about twice the size of a pack of cards. That is the transformer. It switches the voltage from 240v to somethiong like 12v.
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:49, archived)
I see
I will have a look into it. Thank you :)
(I helped save b3ta! Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:51, archived)
No problem!

(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:54, archived)
if it is fucked just get a new one from maplins
or just get one anyway, or any charger that fits
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:01, archived)
Probably disguised as a remote control
or something
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:49, archived)
My speakers are buggering up too.
Volume keeps fluctuating.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:54, archived)


(I helped save b3ta! mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:38, archived)
Dear baldmonkey
What can FD do to make some money quickly? And keep her clothes on.
(I helped save b3ta! The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)
Crotchless.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:36, archived)

crotchlesschet. Crochet is a lovely craft and much in demand. She could crochet some i-Pod covers, and sell them.
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:41, archived)
I also hear professional Croquet is a good earner

(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:47, archived)
Dear Baldmonkey
Make my headache go away OR make Beatles Rock Band be out sooner than 9 September.

With love

Blue Star
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)
Trio vocals.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:36, archived)
*harmonises in three parts*

(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:37, archived)
I NO
I can't wait

edit: FOR FUCKS SAKE
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:39, archived)
What are you trying to do, you huge spastic?

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:44, archived)
IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:46, archived)
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO THE CINEMA TO SEE THE SCARY FILLUM ON WEDNESDAY?

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:51, archived)
CHEAP FUCKER TAKING HER TO THE CINEMA ON A WEDNESDAY.
DON'T FALL FOR IT BLUE STAR.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:52, archived)
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU BLATHERING ON ABOUT, FUCK OFF SHIT CUNT.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:53, archived)
I can't because of
OMG TAKE THAT
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:53, archived)
We could all go on the weekend maybe?
It's SCARY, OOOOOH Y'BASTARDS YA
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:55, archived)
Maybe on Friday?
I'm gonna as G over on Saturday night. We can play Rock Band
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:55, archived)
No harmonies though :(

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:56, archived)
We can still ruin songs with harmonies.

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:57, archived)
And I'll miss the drum bits while doing so.
I don't care though :)
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:02, archived)
Ooooooo, I had no idea that it was being made!
Hope they do Helter Skelter.
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:37, archived)
I once heard Paul Gambuccini say
Helter Skelter was the first ever punk song.
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:38, archived)
I love it.
Always gets me in the mood to go out.
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:39, archived)
Yep it is an awesome tune.
Aparently it was all done early in the morning, one take, with the band so pissed off with eachother they were barely talking.
(I helped save b3ta! Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:43, archived)
If When I'm 64 isn't on there, I'll be well gutted.
Octopus's Garden is on there, so there's no fucking excuse.
(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:39, archived)


look
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:43, archived)
Oh, very cool.

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:50, archived)
I like that animation.

(I helped save b3ta! TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:50, archived)
I love it.
I'm stupidly excited about a video game which I've never been in my entire life.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:51, archived)
It's going to be ace.

(I helped save b3ta! Druid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:56, archived)
That is an amazing bit of flash.

(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:25, archived)
Dear baldmonkey.
If you were king of the internet, what would you do to make it a nicer place?
(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)
Dear baldmonkey,
remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to leave because I'd go berserk?
(MooCow_Byter, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)
Dear Baldmonkey
I have recently had a purge of limbs and given the proceeds to the Socialist Labour Party to develop a half decent website. I am now missing one leg, one arm, one testicle, one eyeball, one ear, one nipple, and my upper row of teeth. Considering most of these things don't count as limbs, what common household implements could best be used as replacements for my pawned body parts?

Yours corpulently,

Imhotep
(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:35, archived)
Are testicles limbs?
Really?
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:36, archived)
TL;DR

(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:37, archived)
How much is a testicle worth?
Because mine aren't getting a fat lot of use lately.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:38, archived)
You can get about a hundred quid each if you sell them as an aphrodisiac

(I helped save b3ta! Imhotep is Invisible - Consider this a divorce, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:39, archived)
And oh yeah.
I've read it properly now. Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:39, archived)
Dear Baldmonkey
How are you?
(I helped save b3ta! scott,, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:37, archived)
Dear Baldmonkey.
Why oh why oh why...
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:39, archived)
Dear Baldmonkey,
(and anyone else)
Can you think of a good question for a survey to test how nationalistic someone is?
It should be an agree / disagree 7-point-likert-scale style statement.
Thanks!
(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:40, archived)
Tebbit test,
adapted for whatever nationality you are testing.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:41, archived)
Chinese.

(I helped save b3ta! Zuowan, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:44, archived)
you need to test? why not just assume 'very'

(I helped save b3ta! well, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:45, archived)
I'd probably fail that one.
Then, I'd probably fail any type of Tebbit test.
(I helped save b3ta! Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:48, archived)

Run a scale from 'I would never under any circumstances change my nationality' to 'I would be highly likely to consider changing my nationality'
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:44, archived)
dear baldmonkey
I am upset at the internet. Literally furious.

I tried beating my fists against my keyboard in a fit of impotent online rage but I still hate everyone. I was thinking of making an itemised list of why I hate everyone then flouncing off like a big flouncy flouncer. Please help me before I get so mad I have to flounce.

Yours in hope,
Sebastian Tagnut
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:49, archived)
Dear Sebastian.
Why are you upset at the internet?

Yours concerned of the internet.
(I helped save b3ta! Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:54, archived)
Dear Baldmonkey, won't you come out to play
Dear Baldmonkey, its a brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful and so are you
Dear Baldmonkey won't you come out to play
(I helped save b3ta! magnum, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:57, archived)
He has hayfever, you insensitive bastard.

(I helped save b3ta! JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:00, archived)