I've forgotten my works pass,
I'm going to be late and I'm still a bit drunk. Hello you beautiful freaks, how badly has your day started?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:38, archived)

I woke up in a warm, comfy bed
looked briefly at the clock and then my lovely purchases/birthday pressies from London and realised I don't have to work today.

I think my day has started particularly well.
( Bats, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:40, archived)

yeah, but...
you're on the internet
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:55, archived)

It's true.
But not for long! COFFEE, AWAY!
( Bats, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:10, archived)

Cup of tea, two slices of toast with jam.
Bill 'The Sex' Turnbull giving me the news, work on time.
Score.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:43, archived)

Not at all badly
I had coffee and potato cakes for starters. I might have some muesli shortly, I am headache free and naked. There you, go. A nice mental picture for you.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:43, archived)

Exactly the same as yours
only I remembered my pass!
I did forget to make sandwiches though :(

Bad times
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:43, archived)

i woke up, had a massive heart attack and was dead by 7

( mongychops, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:44, archived)

Spare a thought for that brave boy, ssg.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:46, archived)

I've got AIDS and I get no bastard symapthy. And I'm Maddie.
Dreadful business
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:51, archived)

we'll you see it is more of a popularity contest, we all like SSG

( mongychops, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:52, archived)

You horrible bastard

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:00, archived)

no offence

( mongychops, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:23, archived)

all my thought are with our brave little soldier Sir Sand Goblin, i haven't seen him use this forum for a while, i hope he is ok, well as ok as a person dying of a painful cancer can be

( mongychops, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:51, archived)

hurr, you only have one thought
you're thick, hurr
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

i woke up, cooked the breakfast, stared at some things, decided i was in no fit state to work, went back to bed, logged on
hello internets!
( spacefish bong!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:48, archived)

Why did I not take today off?
In other news I am looking more and more beetroot like since last night. Oops.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:50, archived)

what happened?
did you offend the king of the beetroots?
( spacefish bong!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:53, archived)

i hope she did, he's a bellend

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:54, archived)

No I spent the weekend on a beach
I may be a little bit sunburnt, although I might have offended the king of the beetroots too. I'm not sure.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:55, archived)

ah, on reflection i should have guessed :)

( spacefish bong!, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:06, archived)

mine has started quite well actually, thanks

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:52, archived)

Woke up at 6am, fell back asleep
again at 7, again at about 8.20
Microwaved last nights pizza for breakfast (ooh yeah)
( moohalaa, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:54, archived)

Musn't grumble
but I'm going to anyway.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 8:58, archived)

This is fucking creepy
io9.com/5288834/first-real-cyborg-a-robot-controlled-by-a-living-brain
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:08, archived)

right that's it
it's the end of the world
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:15, archived)

let's get ready to grumble

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

I feel a bit sick.
I went to a barbeque yesterday, but all the food was finished off in the oven so as to NOT give people food poisoning. Hmmm.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:08, archived)

someone invited me to dinner yesterday and gave me vegetarian lasagne
i'm glad someone somewhere was eating my share of the meat
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:16, archived)

Oh, it was lovely.
I think it wouldn't have been me that ate your share, I was a good girl. Mr Wow managed to eat above 7 or 8 different meat things, though, bless him.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:17, archived)

i love barbecues
decent ones, like. not the ones where someone just dumps a bag of frozen supermarket sausages on and calls it a day
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:19, archived)

No, it was decent
I got smacked in my already broken face with a tennis ball, though.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:21, archived)

i took a cricket ball to the jaw once
ouch
why was your face already broken?
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:22, archived)

Some bell end in town punched me in it
this would usually be fine were it not for the four massive sovereign rings and my habit of wearing glasses. Cracked orbital socket, painy problems with my eye muscles. It's been this way for almost 2 years though, so I'm used to it.


I didn't go down though, I shouted at him, he ran away and got rugby tackled by a police lady as I was too busy being clucked over by about 10 women that appeared from nowhere.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:26, archived)

bloody hell
how can you even fit 4 'sovs' on one hand?
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)

I'm the wrong person to ask...
That's the first and last time I've even touched a sovereign ring.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:30, archived)

when i was in college, my girlfriend worked on the elizabeth duke counter in argos
i actually couldn't believe some of the crap they sold there
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:32, archived)

Those articulated clown necklaces always make me laugh.
especially the HUGE ones.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

You obviously don't live in Essex.

( Lord Gnome, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:32, archived)

i'm glad it's obvious
i wouldn't want there to be any confusion
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:33, archived)

Neither do I
otherwise, knowing them girls, I'd have probably deserved it.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

Yep.
I'm an avid barbequer, in the summer it gets used at least 3 times a week.

My turkey for Christmas got cooked in it three years ago.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:21, archived)

the most memorable barbecue i ever had was in finland
in january
on an island in the middle of a frozen lake
we had to dig it out of the snow before it could be lit!
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:23, archived)

Brilliant!
I only did my turkey on the barbeque beceause we had LOADS of people and there wouldn't have been space in the oven for potates and things had the turkey been in there too. I have since bought a nice new massive oven.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:26, archived)

well... came into work on a bank holiday and an hour later im back home

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:13, archived)

Oh well
A bit of a pisser that you had to get up, but at least you have a day off.

What sort of bank holiday is it?
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:17, archived)

queens birthday :/
a day to celebrate having been part of the commonwealth or some shit
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)

ok, i've just found out that my boss is leaving
that's pretty shit because i like my boss
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:13, archived)

i like my boss I'm self-employed
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:19, archived)

that would be cause for celebration, surely?
since 'my boss' is going for a better job
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:20, archived)

My day just got better.
I didn't forget my works pass at all. I was still late and I am still drunk though.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:23, archived)

my face looks less burnt today
it's the comedy sunglasses mark that is annoying me more, to be honest
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:24, archived)

Ha ha ha.
Oh man, that's SUCH a good look.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:25, archived)

i know
*sadburntface*
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

well the help ain't short, when your digging your grave now,
well the help ain't short, No, I WILL HELP YOU DIG IT!
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:24, archived)

Still drunk? Blimey, you must have
had some leftovers from the weekend! I was a good boy, 2 rum and colas, 2 films and a read before bed.
( Druid, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:25, archived)

I had 5 pints.
That's nice isn't it.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:25, archived)

Lovely.
5 pints of what though?
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)

i enjoyed a cold cider at the seafront
sitting by the bandstand watching some latin music troupe

i trust you had a good weekend, geemo?
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)

I blasted through some woods in Glen Tress on a mountain bike

( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

sounds EXCITING

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:34, archived)

I was drinking vodka, lime and soda.
Home measures. In a fucking pint glass.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:27, archived)

Christ on a cunting bike!
Vodka poured into a pintglass sounds risky! I'm sure lots of vodka looks like not very much in one!
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

that was Jeffrey Bernard'd favourite tipple, and he was ok
apart from the mental hospital stays, pancreatitis the diabeties, losing his right leg and dying in his own filth
( mongychops, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:32, archived)

I was blocked in my drive by the delivery lorry for the pub next door
That made me 10 minutes late for work.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)