Hello b3tans. What's the hot JMG topics?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)

work time!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)

SSG!
I hope you're FIT AND HEALTHY today.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

i feel viciously unwell, truth be told.

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

CHIN UP DUMPLING!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

TO WORK!

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

Have you asked them for a payrise?
Because of the... you know...
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:23, archived)

..hard work and effort you put in.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:27, archived)

I could be being a right bastard here
but the one thing that makes me think that the whole thing isn't true is that SSG is still going about life as normal - I'd be on the first plane out of the country.
( SuperMatt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

To where?

( thealternativefact, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

Oh Gosh, I don't know
I'd make sure to go to Singapore, at least to see my family there.
( SuperMatt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:54, archived)

You know it's cancer. He hasn't killed somebody right?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

Or has he?

( SuperMatt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

We best take register.
Make sure everybody's here.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

I haven't seen SexFace.
Nor have I looked, to be honest.
( thealternativefact, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

i have a sexy face.

( sleepybinky, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

wait, what?

( sleepybinky, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

*smooshes cheeks*
yes you do.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

you flattererererer.
*floozes and flirts*
( sleepybinky, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

It's at its sexiest when the cheeks are puffed out like a hamster's, full of pie

( SuperMatt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

my eyes bulge like a hamster's when i do that, too

( sleepybinky, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

Phwoar!

( SuperMatt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

Altough I guess that living a normal life is the best way to get through it.
I dunno, people act differently.
( SuperMatt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:51, archived)

Of course, if you want to prolong your life you have to be near your doctor, so I guess living a normal life is best

( SuperMatt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:52, archived)

Are you just going to sit and argue with yourself all morning?

( thealternativefact, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

I'm not arguing, I'm vocalising my thought processes.

( SuperMatt, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

Me too.
...




...


...heheehehehe spinning dogs hehe

...where am I?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

Did you figure out David Jon Hemming yet?

( thealternativefact, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

I think it might be an offtopicer
at a guess.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

Yep.

( thealternativefact, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

spinning dogs?
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

sorta?a
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

linkify seems to be putting an A after the text
unless you just did that to take the piss out of me for doing it...

*runs off crying*
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

Look closely. click again.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

eh?
i noticed that yours is pugs instead of dogs

i'm talking about the linkify text
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

oh i'm so confused

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

hehehehehe :D

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

JMG, only you can help myself and DG with a mystery.
Who's David Jon Hemming?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

He isn't Handsome Gav. So we can initially rule him out.
But what can't be ruled out is this man being my mother whom I live with.
This is for the internet to decide.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

Is your mother called David?
I always had the feeling she was more of a Keith.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

I hear you own blue snakeskin bondage gear.
How true is this?
( Bats, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

I wish to deny ALL accusations.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

... And 37 other counts of a similar nature, just to clear my record.

( Bats, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

is snakeskin as strong as leather?
how tough is a serpent's hide?

does it smell ...reptilian?
( sleepybinky, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:11, archived)

I couldn't say.
As someone who wants to own, and used to own a snake, I could never buy anything genuine snake skin.

However, they do use it as a kind of leather in belts and boots, don't they? How it's reinforced, I'm not sure.
( Bats, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:12, archived)

what happened to your snake?

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

*twirls handbag*
daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarling! *minces*
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:39, archived)

oh noooooo!
Did you have a nice week off, DG?
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

YUP :)
I did fuck all and it was nice :) really needed it :) Coming back to work this morning was double hard though...
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)

ahhh, sounds lush.
Did you do any WoWing?
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

ikkle bit. almost 76. joined a guild and left after two days, they were hilariously bad at the game, tried doing a dungeon with them, I was doing 78% of all damage on the run looking at recount. wiped 10 times. I just left and told them that they should uninstall the game.

One hunter was doing 250dps :S and they all just attacked everything, no marking or anything.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

oh bloody hell.
I'll get on there again soon, trying not to get the level-cap apathy when you can only do dungeons and collect loot. I'll have a word with people on there and see if they know of any active and good guilds you could join.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

It's all cool babe, I don't want to join a guild until I'm pre Nax ready :) I've got all pretty shit hot gear atm and there are about 30 dungeon runs every hour :) Still got to get some stuff sorted, taking my time with it i.e. getting cold weather flying and stuff, should have the dosh for it by next week.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

The ex got her.
I don't mind, I guess officially she wasn't mine.
( Bats, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

hello binky
*grabs, twirls*
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

*spins*
*dizzies*
( sleepybinky, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

how're you this fair morn?
also, WHERE'S MY RANDOMBURN?
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:29, archived)

I AM GOOD THANK YOU i have no excuses I WON'T FAIL YOU THOUGH i promise :(

( sleepybinky, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:32, archived)

I BELIEVE IN YOU
you haven't got long before i send you one of mine and make you feel really guilty though
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

i have still only received one.

( sleepybinky, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:34, archived)

i made the playlist, i have the discs.
i need to order them, make tracklists, and post. IT SHOULD BE SO EASY.
( sleepybinky, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:34, archived)

People will be getting mine this week when I go downstairs and send them out, so don't give up hope yet. You'll get them before the 18th easy style.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:34, archived)

are you sending me one?

( sleepybinky, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:36, archived)

nah sorry love, only recognise one person on my list!
Was just putting it here for general ref.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

tee hee. i am just wondering who the remaining senders i have are.
i can't criticise them - i haven't sent mine out yet.
( sleepybinky, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

i've still only had one.
of the people i'm supposed to be receiving from, i only recognise yourself and mike woz ere
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:56, archived)

hang on, you know your donors?

( sleepybinky, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:57, archived)

yeah. i asked BLOOSTAR

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)

also: donors?!
it's a cd, not a kidney :p
( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)

I heard a rumour that JMG doesn't really exist
he's just a mass hallucination.

JMG thoughts on this?
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:51, archived)

Wait! I can hear him!
He says that's a ridiculous notion.
( Bats, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:52, archived)

nobody can be "told" what JMG is...
you have to experience it for yourself...

take the BLUE PILL, FATTY!
(likeajackhammer, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

If Neo chose the blue pill all that would happen would be he'd get a massive errection as it was just a viagra

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)

They looked like joosters.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:57, archived)

What would happen if he took both?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:22, archived)

He would realise the truth about his broom-on

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:29, archived)

he'd spluff that silver liquid

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:38, archived)

And stop bullets with his dong

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:46, archived)

What if he took them as suppositories?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:50, archived)

He would say `woah` as he passes his fudge

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

Maybe you're the only one who sees these posts, Noit?
..and that I'm all part of your sub-concious?
Played by Bruce Willis.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

and I'm Samuel L. Jackson...
foo'
(likeajackhammer, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

This is the best movie ever.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)

a south-african woman keeps trying to add me to facebook through gmail...
I assumed she is some connection to someone on here...

or "hubare" means "FAT THROBBING COCK FOR SALE" in Afrikaan
(likeajackhammer, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

Are they in my FACEBOOK FAN CLUB?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:55, archived)

hmmm... dunno
I'm sure they don't know my actual name - otherwise they'd have tried to add me direct...

I've also received several nonsensical emails which I've ignored... shame, like... she fairly tasty

I'm sure it's the one on the LEFT!
(likeajackhammer, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

You be careful, there.
Chances are it's a house whale on here.
Did I ever show you the friend invite I got from "Declan Moohalaa"?
Fat people will do anything.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:09, archived)

If JMG, HAD to dunk a biscuit into some tea to save a cage full of buxom naked women, what would it be?

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

FOX's CLASSIC!

(likeajackhammer, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

A fine choice.
I'm no massive biscuit man myself here. But I'd have to say the Classic is certainly up there.
Mainly as we're the same person.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)

I'd have a Fox's Cream Crunch
king of the biscuits. Naked girls love them.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

Do hazelnut wafers count?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

Only if they make your beeeeewbies fall out

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:01, archived)

I suppose if I got excited enough about them
and started bouncing around. It'd have to be a whole load of them though, to get me that excited. And espresso, too, for dipping.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:02, archived)

In that case they can go on the list.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

Faaaaab.
Love hazelnut wafers, I do.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

A GINGER ONE?

( sleepybinky, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:43, archived)

DINNER
TV
INTERNET
INSIDE ACTIVITIES
UBUNTU
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

I hear the internet is on computers now

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:56, archived)

OHH INTERNET GIRL!
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:57, archived)

ooooo     ooo ooo        ooooo oooooooooo.    .oooooo.   ooooo      ooo   .oooooo.      .oooooo.   .o. 
`888'     `8' `88.       .888' `888'   `Y8b  d8P'  `Y8b  `888b.     `8'  d8P'  `Y8b    d8P'  `Y8b  888 
 888       8   888b     d'888   888     888 888      888  8 `88b.    8  888           888      888 888 
 888       8   8 Y88. .P  888   888oooo888' 888      888  8   `88b.  8  888           888      888 Y8P 
 888       8   8  `888'   888   888    `88b 888      888  8     `88b.8  888     ooooo 888      888 `8' 
 `88.    .8'   8    Y     888   888    .88P `88b    d88'  8       `888  `88.    .88'  `88b    d88' .o. 
   `YbodP'    o8o        o888o o888bood8P'   `Y8bood8P'  o8o        `8   `Y8bood8P'    `Y8bood8P'  Y8P 

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:03, archived)

I kind of want a t shirt that says
'too orangy for crows' on it.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:04, archived)

Ki Ora aboogyboogyboogy

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:05, archived)

You're an odd lad.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

BUT DOSE AR TEH LYRIKS ':(

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:08, archived)

Are they?!

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:10, archived)

It's just for meee and my dawg
I'll be your dog RUFF RA RUFF RUFF
I'll be your daaaaaawg RETRETRETRTETRTRTETRTRT
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

Yes, love.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

we all adore Kia-Ora :)

ahhhh gotta love late 80s racist adverts :)
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

Ah, I miss well-meaning racism.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:19, archived)

:D
*KiOra glees*
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

that doesn't make what wow said any less true

( manolith hooray for me, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:20, archived)

bungbungbungbungbungbungbung
no I'm not, I'm well normal me.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:36, archived)

They drink it in the Congo

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:06, archived)

You like your Um Bongo, don't you, Donkey Gums?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

tiny bit
Gives me superpowers.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:55, archived)

Are microwaves the key to convenience or the road to obesity
Your thoughts?
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:54, archived)

I'd like to see sweat-powered ones for the chubby.
We're not talking about excitement sweat here, either.
They'd have to run to make their little metal box of dreams eventually go "ping!".
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:57, archived)

I find if you are being lazy and eating a pre made curry, they taste nicer from the microwave than if you cook them in the oven.
/boring DG post #1543456
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:07, archived)

Most bung in the oven currys are pretty meh anyway
apart from Bombay Brasserie ones, I'd sell my middle testicle to get them here
( broadsword, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:18, archived)

Ooo never heard of them, I'll have a look!
Waitrose ones are the only ones I'll eat as they aren't too bad when I'll feeling hungover and lazy.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:30, archived)

Only ever seen them in Sainsburys
www.noon.co.uk/brasserie.htm
( broadsword, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:35, archived)

I'm going to investigate tonight! cheers!

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:36, archived)

Po
tay
to
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 10:59, archived)

I have an interview and I lost weight!

( jenpots, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:13, archived)

*Firm handshakes*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

Latest on the JMG Updates:
JMG is so BALD that he DOLED ESME in a TENT

More JMG news later, but first Business news with Rory McGrath
( Theoban What of it, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:14, archived)

There are also unconfirmed rumours of GREY

( broadsword, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)

And now we go to our foreign correspondant, Mr. B. Roadsword
Mr B, what's the JMG news like over there?
( Theoban What of it, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:27, archived)

Hola Senor Theoban
JMG el BALDO, y DOLIO ESME en TENTE. Posible GREY. Y vidas con MADRE.

Adios
( broadsword, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:33, archived)

MADRE DE DIOS!
Ay caramba, Senor Broadsword. Ay. Caramba.
( Theoban What of it, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:35, archived)

LOS DENIALERIOS!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

FTSE 100: 4363.25 -78.70 -1.77%
Lloyds group shares have increased by 1.07% this morning, taking them up to 66.00. Whereas Lonmin shares have dropped by a whopping 7.77% leaving them at 1329.00
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:21, archived)

Racist

( Theoban What of it, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:24, archived)

Transformers 2 JMG

( Mrs Sp@m, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:16, archived)

The first one was alright. A bit childish, mind.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:42, archived)

UNICRON FUN TIME BATHROOM RODEO

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:49, archived)

I just did some exercises.
BEFORE going online.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:53, archived)

Excellent returns.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 15 Jun 2009, 11:58, archived)

I am in a PUB, JMG.
I'm going to have a beer, watch sky sports, have a cigarette and buy some aftershave. Top man-points, i say.
( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)