Chilli jam is very nice.
Have you discovered any new preserves, lately?
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:02, archived)

I very nearly started a thread about jams and preserves
but thought better of it cos it'd be a fat girl starting a thread about food.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

Whereas it's ok for thin boys?
I'm appalled by this sexism.
Though the anti fat discrimination is fine.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:04, archived)

Yeah its fine for you to start a thread about it
because you're a skinny wretch.

You alright?
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:04, archived)

Not bad.
Feeling a bit bored lately now that there's no election on.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

Organise an election of your own
and canvass for that.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

I may just get scheming about the referendum instead.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

It's not something we normally buy.
There were loads of interesting ones at that Cornish Cyder farm we went to a couple of months ago, can't remember them all.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)

Do you usually steal it?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:04, archived)

I don't usually use it.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

So why are you stealing it?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

for the orphans

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

orphans memory of Babby P
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)

for the sheer, unadulterated thrill

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

I don't even realise I've done it
until I get home and empty my pockets. It's like a reflex.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

Where do you buy your coats/trousers?
I'm only asking because they must have massive pockets. I need some clothes with big pockets so I can sneak jam into the cinema.
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:19, archived)

not really,
I just open the jars and scoop the jam out.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

most cinemas don't care what food/drink you take in as long as it's not smelly or booze

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

The Cameo lets you take your pint in out of the bar.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

but you have to leave the glass?
does your theiving jacket have waterproof pockets too?
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)

they give you plastic cups if you intend to take it in

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:46, archived)

I do get away with it often
But our local flicks has been re-vamped and now THEY'RE ALL NAZIS. Checking pockets and chasing you out if you do cartwheels down the aisles and all that.
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:24, archived)

checking pockets!
they can fuck off.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

^this

( broadsword, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

I know
That's what my fella said when they tried to check him, it was only his wallet as well. All his swag was in my handbag.
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

^this^

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

I'll call them all pervs and then push my errection into each pocket they wanted to check.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

They'd think you had some sort of hydra in your pance

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

I use it to hack mainframes

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

Would you also date Halle Berry?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

She would date me more like.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

Sorry, slip of the keyboard

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:35, archived)

*hacks your computer and makes the fans run 5% faster, thus using up more power*
TAKE THAT HUUUUUR!
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

My precious electrons!

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:37, archived)

Not true in my experience.
I've seen so many people have their bottles/cans of coke or whatnot taken off them.
( Jenk Neptune is a pedant and now I can't fit my sig in, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

Because that's where they make their money i.e. selling a bucket popcorn and coke for £10

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)

Sadly
You're not far off in terms of price there
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:34, archived)

I'm surprised they don't sell doughnuts
The profit margin is much better than popcorn
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

IIRC, popcorn has the highest profit margin of pretty much every product ever.
Cinemas sell it at something like a 300% markup.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:45, archived)

Best to check their APR rates before buying more than 3 hotdogs.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:37, archived)

I wouldn't buy the stuff they sell whether I could take my own stuff in or not.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

I usually go on a Tuesday morning, up in Central London if I'm off work.
It's dead. Only person there. I scoff 3 hotdogs and nacho pots whilst lying across the floor at the front.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

cuteanimals.todaysbigthing.com/2009/06/15
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:47, archived)

Their popcorn is horrifying
Was it Braniac that did the experiment where they sold people stale popcorn, and because they were so preoccupied with the film they didn't realise how horrifying it was?
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:41, archived)

Stale isn't the word
It has been cooked months in advance, bagged up and stored in a warehouse, then conveniently placed in the warmer while noone is looking to make it appear like it is fresh and formed by magic.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)

I've always wondered why they didn't keep it like the stuff you microwave at home
It would take up so much less storage space.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:45, archived)

I've always wondered why people eat popcorn to watch films,
and never at any other time.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:48, archived)

I do
Popcorn is my snack of choice at home. And it's quite a low-fat snack assuming you make up plain popcorn and add your own topping i.e. cinnamon.

Anyone remember that cheesy popcorn made by Cheetos? Me and my mum loved it, then it went away.
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)

I quite like popcorn
I rarely make it now though as you get so much and it makes me greedy.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)

That's still full of preservatives and rubbish
Why don't they just buy dried corn and cook it fresh
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:48, archived)

Well, yes
But given that the cinema food is also hot dogs and nachos with plastic cheese I'm not sure that's such a big deal.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:52, archived)

www.thecornishcyderfarm.co.uk/preserves.htm
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

Err.
Strawberry & Chilli Preserve - 227g Weight: 0.5kg

The jar doesn't weigh that much does it?
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

it probably does, actually.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)

I know.
I realised when I made my initial post. But you know, no going back, there's no delete or edit button on here.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

Yes
If it's glass like the Robinson's ones, surely
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

Gooseberry and blueberry Jam
Yum yum yum
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:04, archived)

I don't even know what jam is.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:04, archived)

Blueberry jam, yes
Traffic jam, no.
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

This place (below) hidden in the Irish Mountains does the best preserves ever
Curried Onion Chutney is amazing.

www.aillweecave.ie/aillwee_cave_farmshop.htm
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)

That's the cave that Father Ted went to in the episode of Father Ted where Father Ted went to the cave.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

T-is not far from my uncle's house where I go to stay every year.
I love it :)
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

The Irish Mountains?
Any particular ones?
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

The ones where all the lumpy headed Irish comes from, the ones that stand facing north at 45 degrees due to the wind
The Burren
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

lol... 'wee'

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

hehe ...'wee'

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)

nurrr... you said 'wee'

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

roffles...you too said 'wee'

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

I love that place
Not the shop, the cave.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

Yes, orange jam in a bottle.
I was whining at the weekend because marmalade is horrible and I just wanted orange jam, then we found some in tescos. It's alright, it's not as nice as I was hoping.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

Orange jam?
Great, another preserve I didn't know existed...Sounds nicer than marmalade as well.
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

Orange jam IS marmalade.
Rather, marmalade can be made from any citrus fruits, Orange jam just implies it's made only from oranges.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

It's not got as much peel in it
and it says orange jam insead of marmalade on the container. Jam people know more about jam than you do.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

I meant to say something about peel.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

you have the right to a peel.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

Apparently
That would make sense; I'm more a Peanut Butter person than a Jam person.

Maybe I am better off wandering up to an Asda worker and handing myself over to them and their jam knowledge.
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

Orange JAM?
I'm sure that's probably illegal.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

could be useful in cakes

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

Made by hartleys, I think
they did pineapple jam in a bottle too.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)

You could use that as a perfect excuse to make your own :)

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

That'd involve being bothered... :D

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

But the people need WOWJAM
You could use blood oranges to make it look like strawberry jam and it would mess with people's minds.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

I'll give them wowjam
a small jar a month.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

Perfect for vampires

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

Speaking of jam-making
Has anyone actually got a good recipe for jam?

I know that sounds daft but I fail at jam-making.
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

Ask Lord Gnome.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

i don't eat preserves, but i can suck cock for hours and i'm brilliant at it, and i'll do it whenever you want big boy
and i've got great tits
( mongychops, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)

Cor!

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)

i felt letting the forum know about my lack of eating preserves and my intimate knowledge of sucking cock important
an how i like to ride reverse cowgirl whilst having my bum spanked, and all that
( mongychops, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)

Keep going..

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

Apologies again!
How do I repent now?
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

Just take it on the chin and forget about it
The comment, not the spunk, obviously.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)

it'll all blow (job) over i'm sure

( mongychops, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

:D
Thank you gents.
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

I'm not a gent, I'm Cher in disguise.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

cher in a cher disguise? wtf

( mongychops, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

multi layered latex my friend

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

Wow
That's quite an achievement. I did wonder where she'd gone.
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

See, now you can't go getting all upset if you're going to say it yourself.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

I was crying as I typed it :'(
*sniff*
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

If you could turn back time
If you could find a way, would you...oh forget it, I don't even know where I'm going with this
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

:(
www.b3ta.com/search/talk?q=turn+back+time
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

much as i don't eat preserves i do enjoy giving great blow jobs till i get cum all over my great tit's then i eat that all up
so to recap- no preserves, great blowjobs, eats cum from tits
( mongychops, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)

Yes. I recently started making preserves.
And the tomato and chilli pickle seems to be the best so far.
( Lord Gnome, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)

Good form there
I like tomato and caramelised onion, with lime and mint.

I accidentally ate some the other day thinking it was regular chutney.
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

Sounds interesting.
I'm not confident enough to try making the more esoteric stuff yet, so still sticking to tried and tested recipes. However, they do taste loads better without all the flavour enhancers and other crap in them.
( Lord Gnome, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)

Oh gosh, yes
I do remember a time when you had to keep jam in the fridge, not lazing about in the cupboard.
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)

you only have to keep it in the fridge if it's made with glucose syrup instead of sugar,
or if there's not enough sugar in it, or something. Jam is supposed to keep, that's why it was invented, before fridges.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

I see...
I assume that's why the jams of today need refridgerating, as they're made with glucose syrup instead.
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

Nobody does anything properly anymore.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)

Especially not food
When did we stop caring about food?
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)

It all goes back to the great depression.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)

Surely that would have made things slightly better
What with conserving food and everything?
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:29, archived)

The rise of the supermarkets,
consumerism was purposefully devised as an economic stimulator, now we're constantly sold the idea that convenience is better than experience.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:31, archived)

Aaaah
And yet, we still buy into it....
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:36, archived)

I don't.
I walk a 5 mile round trip to go to the grocers even though the supermarket is nearer. In fact the nearest supermarket is only about a mile away, but it's in one of these retail park things and you risk your life trying to get into the damn thing on foot. You're supposed to drive there.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:38, archived)

Ours is like that
Straight off a roundabout, you can only get to it via subways but they've been built so awkwardly that it takes 20 minutes to do a 5 minutes journey.

And there are no grocers any more, there was one up my road but it shut when I was about 10.
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:40, archived)

We're lucky there's a very good farmers' market on in town once a week,
it might be a bit more expensive but it's not a miserable, artificially-lit experience where you never say a word to anybody other than "no" when they ask if you've got a Nectar card (and now they're introducing those god awful self-service tills so you don't even have to trouble yourself with that much human interaction).

It's a day out for all the family, including the dog, and I've never seen a kid have a tantrum.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:45, archived)

That settles it
I need to move.

Also those self-service checkouts are horrendous. They take twice as long as regular checkouts. Also the added bonus with regular checkouts is the vague human interaction.
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:48, archived)

one time we bought a four-pack of beer,
and scanned it through, but it only came up as one tin. So we tried to scan it again, but it insisted we put it in the bag first. We had to separate every tin from the plastic thing. Ridiculous.

The Tesco Metro in town actually employs someone to stand there and encourage people to use them.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:50, archived)

Haha
What a soul-destroying job. Imagine trying to avoid the "So what do you do for a living?" question at social gatherings.
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:53, archived)

I imagine the staff take turns.
You're also supposed to wait for a member of staff to come over and clear you for buying booze, but nobody bothers, everyone was just walking straight out with the security tags on the bottles and constantly setting the alarms off.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:55, archived)

Doesn't that defeat the purpose?

( Lord Gnome, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:54, archived)

Yes it does.
Same with DVDs, took one home one without realising it was still in the massive great plastic sleeve thing, had to bring it back and was immediately accused of theft because I set the alarms off when bringing it back.
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:57, archived)

I'd have thought so,
but you try explaining "purpose" to a supermarket manager. The upper echelons decide they want something after someone sells the idea to them based on some cost savings analysis, and they then get so excited about it that they want it at any cost. And the customers will damn well live up to their ideals whether they like it or not!
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:59, archived)

I guess the managers of the actual supermarkets
Are only obeying orders from above.
( Lord Gnome, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 13:01, archived)

and they probably think that agreeing with their superiors
is good for their career. And they're probably right. But it's still stupid.
It appears to be almost like some alternative outlet for conspicuous consumption. It's not so much about saving money as portraying an appearance of getting with the 21st century, especially if their competitors are doing it. Keeping up with the corporate Jones's.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 13:05, archived)

Then that makes Tesco the worst
They look like they're winning the three-year appeal to build near my grandparents', to do that they are demolishing a swimming pool, gym, creche and 100 of the on-site staffs' homes.
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 13:09, archived)

shit
that's really shit
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 13:11, archived)

How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?
He doesn't, he's dead.
( broadsword, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)

Ha ha ha ha ha ha
Ram Bob Marley RIGHT up your japper.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:18, archived)

He has many, many children
Illegitimate or otherwise.
(theneet began to cut her hair and long for balls, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

Diddly diddly dum... RIGHT up your clunge
Morning
( broadsword, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
Frankly, I'm baffled by the assumptions inherent in the question.

www.mingthemerciless.com/supermu.html
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)

Heh, I'd forgotten that site
www.mingthemerciless.com/jenga.html
( broadsword, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)

Rediscovered pickled eggs
also Calamari olive jam and red pepper spread. I had potted shrimps last night too, which counts a bit.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:42, archived)

MY COCK IS MADE OF TITS

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Tue 16 Jun 2009, 12:44, archived)