"Stop teaching our kids maths and spellings"
says a man called Mr. Balls

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8120152.stm
( The Neville What what what, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:49, archived)

Huh.

( ArthurTheRat, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)

I was in one of the first year groups to do literacy hour.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)

That's not true, they're just going to do it in a different way.

( Jobe, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)

Liar!

( wheelybird mreee!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:52, archived)

Read the article.

( Jobe, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)

I can't!


*sobs*
( wheelybird mreee!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)

Pffft.

( Jobe, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:59, archived)

Clikin dis

( Bats, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)

I only read the first two paragraphs of any news story
It's so much easier to sensationalise things that way
( The Neville What what what, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:55, archived)

with pictures and P.E.?

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)

i was reading the paper in the staff room yesterday and one of the headers was
'balls sacks governeners over... blah blah blah'

and i thought to myself 'tee-hee... ballsacks'
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)

i agrie wif him.
he is a smart entligint man what nows that kids dont need targits for speling and mafs
( wheelybird mreee!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:52, archived)

changed your name again, gonz?

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:52, archived)

Again?
It's still the original as given to me by my parents and approved by God.
( wheelybird mreee!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)

i was hilariously suggesting that you might be regular forum-poster gonzo
because he can't spell
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:55, archived)

I was hilariously suggesting that God exists.
All this /talk banter is lost on me. I get all confused and then start shouting at things and spitting.
( wheelybird mreee!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:57, archived)

How can you report such trifles
when there are far more important issues at stake?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:52, archived)

Bloody Australians

( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)

FUCK YES
The world needs more stoned animals.
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)

that. is. fucking. brilliant.

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)

there is a picture of me online somewhere interferring with a wallaby at australia zoo, i can't find it tho, so here's a fish
www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/23553/1206370899/20060915france0011.jpg
( mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:55, archived)

I bet, you know, with a fish mouth that size
well, you know... you did, didn't you?

I wouldn't blame you.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:57, archived)

Your silence says enough.

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)

hactually
to calm a carp down you have to stick your thumb in its mouth.


that looks like a very calm carp.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:05, archived)

to calm a llama down, you have to get off with it
calm a llama down. calm a llama deep down in the ocean, blue like a barnacle... etc
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:06, archived)

Sitting in a tight place, laughing at a monkey, oh pulling like a china boy....

( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:09, archived)

carroway, caroway, carroway
noise!
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)

Boing tikka massala, boing tikka
EEEEEEEEEYO!
( The Baroness The Harlot Pimpernel, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:16, archived)

modern angling shuns that old practice, if the carp is played properly before being landed it should be calm on the bank anyway

( mongychops, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

Ahh I see

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:24, archived)

blimey, that's a big fish

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:04, archived)

nah, it's just very close to the camera
and the man holding it is smaller even than you.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)

oh dear
the quality of the witty banter under that story is so high, I might have to return my B3ta membership card and defect to replying to bbc stories
( vladimir, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:55, archived)

From the comments section:
I resent this report that we are high as a kite and making crop circles! I haven't been stoned since 1971. A few young hoppers eat the wrong plant and you trash our species in the news. What's this world coming to!
Wally Baby, Australia Bush

I'm guessing the man who posted this has a collection of humourous ties.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:57, archived)

those jumpy little buggers
stealing all our heroin
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:04, archived)

They need a smack.
sorry.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)

7 of the top 10 news stories are about the same thing
poor old farrah, relegated to number 7
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:57, archived)

I'm pleased that the stoned wallabies
are hanging in there. Keep at it, chaps!
( The Neville What what what, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:58, archived)

Nothing at all about Steven Wells

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 9:59, archived)

I had crispy bacon, egg mayo and ham in a sandwich for breakfast this morning and it was lovely.
Nothing of this has been reported by the BBC.
Shocking.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)

don't even know who that is

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:02, archived)

You don't know Stevie W?
He's totally sweet
( magnum, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)

there were two versions on the Metro out this morning
TWO
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:05, archived)

One with Farrah Fawcett on the front page and the other with MJ,
But which one is more important news?
There's only one way to find out...
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)

no
one with "Churches trying to cure homosexuals" one with "MJ carked it".
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)

It's because first of all they thought it was the sunshine that killed him but that turned out to be wrong,
Then they thought it might have been the moonlight. But personally I think it might have been the boogie.

Working in Radio this morning is a MJ a thon.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:15, archived)

sweet jesus
*picards*
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)

she's in rish of being relegated to the championship
joining "iran shoots missiles at the us" and "airborne disease kills thousands in manchester".

DAMN YOU JACKO!
(The Blue Brony Flogging a Dead Horse Since, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:12, archived)

I'm counting backwards for christmas

( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:00, archived)