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If not barmaids, what?
How did you meet your current/previous lover?
(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:34, archived)
Behind the bar

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:35, archived)
+s
Was it Big Steve? I hear he's very gentle.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:35, archived)
He's dead to me now
the slag.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:37, archived)
Got together while drunk
at a very drunk get-together.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:35, archived)
The interwebs

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:35, archived)
I've just done some COOL SCIENCE.
Check out my COOL SCIENCE.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:35, archived)
I sold him a bass guitar.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:36, archived)
Friend of a friend.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:36, archived)
Hahahaha "friends"
hahaha.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:42, archived)
She was sorta friends with some chick i was doing.
How everyone laughed when I mentioned this in my groom's speech.
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:36, archived)
Actually, this is a far better description.
www.b3ta.com/talk/6652015
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:41, archived)
Did she have long hair and a beard and aggresive behaviour towards SexFace?

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:43, archived)
The other woman *was* SexFace

(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:43, archived)
I'm sexface and so's my wife.

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:47, archived)
Nice work, there.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:50, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6651980
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:36, archived)
Bah, I don't think I was here then.

(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:42, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6651990
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:37, archived)
My last girlfreind I met on an online dating site
Yeah I'm cool. FUCKING COOL.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:37, archived)
Nut job or ugly?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:38, archived)
Me or her?
Both for both
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:40, archived)
I wanted a year off of girls because all of my previous have been mental.
the year was up in January.

Went down the pub and bumped into a girl I used to go to school with, known her since I was 4 years old. Her youngest sister was there, about 20 years old, got talking to her and took her out the week after, and we've been boyfriend/ girlfriend for about 2 weeks.

She's about 5ft 3", pretty blonde with huge tits. perfect. and she's not mental.

*soppy/ happy DG atm.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:38, archived)
At work.

(Redonkulous is Friz, bou, Syncubus, etc DON'T BE REDONKULOUS!, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:38, archived)
you harlot

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 17:06, archived)
I met her down the boozer amongst a group of vulnerable women and she was the foxiest so I wooed her with food

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:38, archived)
Feeder, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:41, archived)
He threw peanuts at her all night

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:42, archived)
I bet she clapped like a seal

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:44, archived)
with her fanny lips

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:44, archived)
Then she lined up 4 blokes' cocks and played them like a circus seal playing horns.

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:49, archived)
I've seen her do that
She has a video with 'football' crossed out and 'Us' written in in red felt tip.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:53, archived)
Are you trying to suggest that Bogbrush's missus has a massive gipper?
Because if you are trying to suggest that Bogbrush's missus has a massive gipper, I'll have to assume that that Bogbrush's missus has a massive gipper.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:50, archived)
It's like a hairy standing ovation

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:52, archived)
This is what she claims these days.
If ever she complains about putting weight on, like women do for no good reason, I just tell her she'll look lovely with an apple in her mouth in a gravy bath. I always sleep on my own after that.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:43, archived)
I went on a date last night.
I met her in town on saturday night.

Last night she was very nervous but she had brilliant chebs and a voice in my head was shouting "CHEBS! CHEBS! CHEBS!" at me all night long.
(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:39, archived)
Top man!
As long as you didn't say it out loud then that's cool :)

If she was nervous then it probably means she likes you dude :D
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:44, archived)
I know man, it was just jarring what with me being effortlessly cool and all.

(I helped save b3ta! Noit happy baby orangutan, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:59, archived)
Or she was really worried about being raped
did you look a bit rapeyer than usual, Noit?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 17:01, archived)
We've always been together.
It was on the end of my right arm when I was born.
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:39, archived)

aAaAaaaAAAAaAAaaaAaaAAAaRrrRRrRRRRrRRdvAaAaaAAAAAaAaAAAaAaaaAAaAaAaAARRRrrrrRRrRrk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:40, archived)
Hello, lovely wynoh!

(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:40, archived)
afternoon
How's yourself?
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:46, archived)
My self is good but tired and a little stressed out.
How is your self?
(I helped save b3ta! Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:46, archived)
Edgy
I'm supposed to be getting an email about a job, and it's not appeared yet. I hate waiting for stuff like that.
(I helped save b3ta! wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:51, archived)
She was heavily into being dead in ditches.
And I was heavily into necrophelia.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:39, archived)
New girl *is* a barmaid
She makes me smile and feel all mushy
(__, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:40, archived)
Same here
I'm proper smitten and feel like dancing.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:43, archived)
Haven't felt like this in a long, long time
And I'm not in dancing territory yet, but happy to hear that you are :)
(__, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:44, archived)
Oh man
it's like we're sisters or something. Good luck to you, you fat faced fucker. I mean that.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:46, archived)
Previous one I met at karaoke
Friend of a friend. We were chatting all night, then the mutual friend started drunkenly trying to grope her, which led her to get a pissed off. She found me on Facebook and we eventually chatted on MSN. She came round, we had fun. Kept on doing this.

I miss her when she was like that. If I knew she'd eventually turn into the soul-crushing person she is now, I'd never have started. She's the one I have a kid with now. I just wish I had a kid with who she was at the start of the relationship.

Sigh.

/dull
(__, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:48, archived)
Still, at least your head isn't massive.

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:50, archived)
oh, but it is, mike
it really, really is :(
(__, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:50, archived)
Girls are twats

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:50, archived)
They have them too
Which is a shame :(
(__, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:52, archived)
o_O

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:52, archived)
not you.
you don't count.

*hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:54, archived)
Is it because I'm not really a girl?

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:56, archived)
o_O

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:59, archived)
I went to a party
I noticed she was looking at me. I looked back a couple of times and she was still looking so I said hello.

We are now married and have two kids.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:40, archived)
That's almost Johnny Catfish levels of fertility!
"You had me pregnant at hello". :)
(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:41, archived)
I want to draw this as a comic

(__, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:44, archived)
you're totally in love with a mirror dude!

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:46, archived)
lolololol'd

(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:51, archived)
tripping at the graveyard
she may be pungent, but she's mine
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:42, archived)
also i'm currently watching a blackberry go through a fresh install and it is fun
it's all glowy, OOoooooOoooOh
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:44, archived)
she needed her pc fixed, her hard drive had problems

(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:42, archived)
Ha, I thought that never worked.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:45, archived)
I was grumpy on b3ta because I had been stood up.
I got talking to Badger and we met a month or so later. At an 4rthur Christmas bash. Vodka was drunk. The end.
(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:44, archived)
did you suck his willy that night?
ANSWER ME
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:49, archived)
He's marrying me, isn't he?

(I helped save b3ta! Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:53, archived)
she trapped me under a glass and slid a bit of paper underneath

(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:44, archived)
Community service

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:48, archived)
I'd like to tell you
but a restraining order says I mustn't.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:48, archived)
in a swingers club in battersea

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:50, archived)
We both study Chinese.

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 16:52, archived)