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Hello internet.
Yay. IT have changed my details to my married name. It only took them three and a bit weeks.

Boo. /Talk is now blocked. Can anyone give me a mirror site please?
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:26, archived)

right.upthear.se
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:27, archived)
Lollerskates

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:31, archived)
that's not helping, is it?
bad maximinimus. bad.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:33, archived)
Yes it is, it's a b3ta mirror

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:34, archived)
still not clicking it...
(can you tell i have no idea what anyone is on about?)
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:39, archived)
It's almost like you don't trust me

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:46, archived)
i have trust issues.
it's not you, maxi. it's me. i'm afraid it can never work between us.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:47, archived)
I see

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:49, archived)
i knew you'd be gutted.
try and work through it. it's for the best.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:50, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:56, archived)
we can still be friends though, right?
i mean, things could change. you never know what's round the corner.

i'm still not clicking it.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:59, archived)
Yeah, I know that one "we can still be friends" and you never hear from them again

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:59, archived)
tell you what.
you change your sig, which is terrifying me, and i'll check my diary and let you know when i can schedule you in for reconsideration.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:01, archived)
how are you fixed for 2016?

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:08, archived)
With gaffa tape

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:09, archived)
see you there!!

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:10, archived)
I'll be the giant emo wearing a dead red rose

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:14, archived)

www.mirrorworld.co.uk
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:29, archived)
mirror world piss

(I helped save b3ta! M o D, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:30, archived)
Best of all the mirror sites

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:32, archived)
I love mirrors
best of all reflecting surfaces
I love mirrors their my firends
(I helped save b3ta! M o D, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:39, archived)
There are over 17 mirrors in The Mirror World.

(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:33, archived)
Glad you got the IT department sorted
here is a mirror site
www.mirrorworld.co.uk/
(I helped save b3ta! M o D, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:30, archived)
jelly.b3ta.com
207.44.242.20/talk
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:33, archived)
Thanks.
They're not working. It seems like you're going to be stripped of my dazzling contributions :(
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:38, archived)
try L-Space's one
as it seems to be a completely different site.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:41, archived)
Let's all ask cr3 to open up port 443 on jelly.

(I helped save b3ta! L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:02, archived)
This is what I use.

(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:40, archived)

relay.cr3ation.co.uk/talk
(I helped save b3ta! L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:33, archived)
And this is up my sleeve for when they cotton on to 207.44.242.20

(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:41, archived)
It resolves to that IP address,
so you might be out of luck...
(I helped save b3ta! L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:49, archived)
Nope.
Not having it. Oh well.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:47, archived)
Have you tried mine?

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:49, archived)
I haven't.
I don't think they'd like that url.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:57, archived)
Maybe not but it works :)

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:59, archived)
Yeah but
y'know. Bit dodgy.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:01, archived)
AdminCongrats
I have discovered that what was supposedly a missing document was just a document indexed twice, so instead of appearing as doc 3 + 4 it is just doc 3.

Tl;dr: I can count, I am not an idiot, I have not lost a court document
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:34, archived)
Oh man
then what happened?
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:35, archived)
SHHHH I might miss something about this bit of paper

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:36, archived)
Shit, what if Blue Star is still blocked?
Someone better text her and let her know what's happening.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:39, archived)
oh boy this is riveting

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:35, archived)
This one time I put the wrong staples in my stapler. I could see they were wrong because they were far too small. I took them out and put the right ones in.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:40, archived)
Today, right
I had to go downstairs to sign for a package but it was not my package and I laughed with the postman about how the packages I sign for are never for me hahahahahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:42, archived)
oh, MAN.
you have all the best stories.

then what happened?
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:53, archived)
then, yeah
I took a phone call for someone here but they're not at their desk, lol! So I had to take a message!
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:18, archived)
pffffffffffffffft.
you're MAD, you are!!!
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:20, archived)
That girl needs therapy.
She's a nut! She's crazy in the coconut!
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:32, archived)
The way I heard it, the staples were too big
it's one of those urban myths.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:43, archived)

I could put up with this kind of exaggeration on QOTW but here? it's frankly out of place, anyway no-one's going to believe this actually happened are they
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:43, archived)
QOTWifier deployed...
This one time the wrong staples put themselves in my stapler. That was it's first mistake. I could see they were wrong because I have highly tuned senses from my kung fu training. I made a VERY pithy remark and they took themselves out and put the right ones in. The right ones looked like supermodels and loved being put in because they thought I was great. Needless to say, I had the last laugh.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:51, archived)
you forgot 'cheers'.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:54, archived)
Cheers.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:56, archived)
i'm looking forward to the part where he tells us what sort of filing system he uses.
i hope there's coloured stickers. otherwise i'm going to kick RIGHT off.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:43, archived)
It's the almost Dickensian grasp of narrative drive that I find so satisfying
if this doesn't make the Booker shortlist, the literary culture of this country is moribund.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:46, archived)
booker? pffft. don't be so boorish.
nobel aaaall the way, baby.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:50, archived)

There was a missing document: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of this document was where I would seek its whereabouts, its location, its dwelling-place, its home. I had signed it: it was not a court document. The document was as indexed as a very important document, of importance to fine ladies and gentlemen who would walk along the Strand saying to themselves, how they hoped their important yet not court document was safe in the keeping of myself, clerk and scribbler, player of novel sporting activities during my one day of leisure in the year.

Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, how this document came to be missing. I might have been inclined, myself, not to check on its whereabouts had not the morning been particularly slow and ponderous. But the wisdom of administration is a mystery, and my unhallowed hands shall not disturb it, or the Country's done for. You will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that the document was missing.

The mention of this absence brings me back to the point I started from. There is no doubt that the document was missing. This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am going to relate. If we were not perfectly convinced that Hamlet's Father died before the play began, there would be nothing more remarkable in his taking a stroll at night, in an easterly wind, upon his own ramparts, than there would be in any other middle-aged gentleman rashly turning out after dark in a breezy spot -- say Saint Paul's Churchyard for instance -- literally to astonish his son's weak mind.
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:59, archived)
This is beautiful

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:03, archived)

that's because it's Dickens
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:12, archived)
I bet he has to wear a tie and believes one day he really will be a highly-paid lawyer

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:47, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:09, archived)
And I wasn't slagging off co-workers
so your grilling was WRONG you hessien-clothed mongoloid
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:48, archived)
Wooooah now, no time for digression
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:50, archived)
oh, zing.
i hope that when you're finally allowed to do something a bit more important than making the tea and doing the shredding, they show you where your spellcheck icon is.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:52, archived)
I'm briefing Counsel
Shredding is done by the only person who's lower down than me.
Tea, however, is made by everyone including the senior partners. It's like that hippy colony you've always dreamed of going to except there's suits, non-shitty hair and general cleanliness.
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:58, archived)
OH FUCKING SHUT UP YOU DULL NEEDY FUCKSPONGE.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:00, archived)
eep!

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:03, archived)
Hey you, how's the form?

(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:06, archived)
'tis grand
how's yourself?
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:09, archived)
Not too bad, met a bloke I worked with 5 years ago in town today
So caught up with the craic and am currently delaying going out to wash the windows, 'cause I'm lazy.
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:11, archived)
Feel better?

(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:06, archived)
Hello Spider.
This bunch of pixels scares me a little. Most of the time it's fluffy and lovely. Then all of a sudden it flips out and kills every motherfucker in the room.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:08, archived)
great, innit?

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:10, archived)
if I say yes will you flip out and scare me?

(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:11, archived)
of course not. i'm more scared of you than you are of me.
or is that spiders? i forget.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:22, archived)
Boo!

(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:24, archived)
I like her, she's a nice refreshing breeze through this place.
BTW, why are you scared? You could probably kill her 10 times before she hit the ground, if you put your mind to it.
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:13, archived)
oh, much.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:08, archived)
How's work treating you today?
Got the urge to run people through with your letter-opener yet?
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:14, archived)
i'm saving that for this afternoon.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:23, archived)
Always handy to have a back-up plan.
Or, you know, you could always say you're going on a site visit then go home. They'd never know.
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:26, archived)
Love you really
Ooh, lunch
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:19, archived)
Fat bastard.

(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:22, archived)
MUST JUSTIFY SELF IN FRONT OF B3TA!

(I helped save b3ta! Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:12, archived)
*golf claps*

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:13, archived)
You're setting yourself up
for Chompy spamming your gaz with paperclip sales offers.
(I helped save b3ta! L-Space - scientia sapientes vocat., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:47, archived)
I don't do direct advertising.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:51, archived)
Word of mouth, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:52, archived)
He's good at it.
I don't think he's ever advertised paperclips on b3ta, yet where would you go if you wanted to bulk buy paperclips?

PsychoChomp every time.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:11, archived)
I want to pluck out your eyes and replace them with jumbo paperclips so you look like a manga character.
This is a sign of love.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:54, archived)
I too have many hilarious stories about losing but not actually losing IMPORTANT LEGAL PAPERS

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:10, archived)
This one time I thought I'd lost a WHOLE BRIEF
but then I found it IN THE NICK OF TIME.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:14, archived)
I lost my briefs once
I don't like going commando :(
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee TeaBoy, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:17, archived)
I get it.
That's funny.
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:21, archived)
I am using
207.44.242.20/talk/
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:38, archived)
This is purple link and I don't use mirror sites
I am suspect.
(I helped save b3ta! jenpots, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:01, archived)
You should spend all day looking at my lovely lovely shots from Norway
www.flickr.com/photos/rnuk/sets/72157625326349529/with/5203496773/
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:56, archived)
Oh piss off you travelling gimp

(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:12, archived)
Hmm
this one might be working.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:02, archived)
It's properly ugly though.
Oh well. Needs must. My gazzes don't seem to work...
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:06, archived)
I use http/jelly.b3ta.com these days.
Now that my bastard webfilter blocks b3t due to :CONTENT: HUMOUR/JOKES.
'Ning The LOVELY Blue Five.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:20, archived)
Fucking wankers.
'Ning the LOVELY but cockblocked Stuj.

How's the rock today?
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:29, archived)
'Ning The LOVELY Spiiiiiiiiiidddeeeeeerrrrrrrrr!!!!
It's a fucking GORGEOUS morning here at SUNNY MPA.
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:41, archived)
Lucky bastard, it's cold and cloudly here, as you rightly know.
No fair rubbing your sunny day in my face.
(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:44, archived)
*Rubs*
:D
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:49, archived)
A little lower.

(I helped save b3ta! Spider Fucking Riviera got stiches for a knife wound for the first time, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 13:00, archived)