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Apparently there's a "Dick of the month" calendar.
What would you put in a calendar?
(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:10, archived)
your bumhole.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:13, archived)
The 12 states of MONO!s bumhole?

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:14, archived)
I think we need more specificity here.
which month would be goatse etc.
(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:15, archived)
sorry, i nodded off for a minute there.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:16, archived)
Wow, you're more tedious than Adam.

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:16, archived)
don't be harsh, she's old, she needs a nap every now and then

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:17, archived)
I heard (it's just a rumour mind)
that she once fell asleep on the toilet doing a poo and then woke up in time for her next poo. By then she had sunk into the toilet a bit and her legs were in the air. She resembled a folded collapsable bed.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:20, archived)
Heard from a bunch of doctors: one of them was on a longhaul flight and had to attend to an old lady stuck on the toilet
Turns out she pressed the flush button while seated, prolapsed and the doc had to push her back in X(
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:21, archived)
You're making me want to delete this whole thread.
Don't push me.
(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:23, archived)
Do it

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:26, archived)
Did she think it was an oxygen mask and start trying to breathe through it?

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:23, archived)
Oh God....

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:26, archived)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:27, archived)
I do like this

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:30, archived)
I once woke up brushing my teeth.
loldrugs.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:40, archived)
Bless her.
I knew someone who would just fall asleep, but I can't be arsed to think about the name for that narcolepsy?
yes that's the one.
(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:21, archived)
why do you all insist that i'm old?
have i had my tea yet?
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:24, archived)
Hey Janet, I'm now ignoring Adam, it feels great to have that shit off my screen.
I might try it with other people too.
(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:27, archived)
you awful prick

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:29, archived)
I've got money on him bluffing

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:30, archived)
Oh comeon,
By giving him this attention right here, he's probably not going to go off and kill himself.
I'm helping the poor.
(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:33, archived)
plus he's a prick, he wouldn't give me a frisbee :(

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:35, archived)
http://www.b3ta.com/talk/7474737

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:35, archived)
can I have a frisbee please?

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:48, archived)
posting that you've got someone on ignore is for crybabies, mono

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:30, archived)
can you go into his log-in and unignore Adam for him modolith?

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:31, archived)
Posting that someone's posted that they've got someone on ignore is for GIANT hippies

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:32, archived)
I've got you on ignore,
man
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:32, archived)
No way!
But I thought we had something man! Shit...
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:33, archived)
I would reply to this but you're on ignore

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:35, archived)
I hope that one day you change your mind and take me off Ignore
and then you'll be able to see these heartfelt things I'm saying
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:38, archived)
That was utterly pointless you typing all that out, I can't see anything you post as I have you on ignore.

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:42, archived)
posting that someone's posted that someone's posted they've got someone on ignore is... confusing

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:34, archived)
I love you

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:37, archived)
you big lug

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:47, archived)
I'm having a conversation at work where the other person is using my first name and surname alternately
When talking to me. It's pissing me off. What shall I do?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:52, archived)
change your name.

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:56, archived)
fuck off

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:57, archived)
hello mr off

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:00, archived)
Knock their scalding hot coffee all over their lap.

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:57, archived)
It's an email conversation unfortunately
Next time I see her I'll throw coffee at her
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:58, archived)
Send the spillage as an attachment

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:01, archived)
i'm trying to imagine this scenario but i'm afraid i can't remember your name

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:26, archived)
I was going to give him one of my old discs, too.
*shrugs* Does anybody want his?
(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:33, archived)
*cries*

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:34, archived)
not me though, right, mono! oldbuddyoldfriend?

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:30, archived)
*ignores*

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:31, archived)
Interesting

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:14, archived)
Not now you've made an appearance.

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:15, archived)
I'm starting to subscribe to JMG's 'no fatties' ethos.

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:22, archived)
I would, but I quite like BM and Two hats

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:24, archived)
Hey, I've lost weight I'll have you know

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:26, archived)
I'd publish a calendar for radiologists, filled with many humerus pictures

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:14, archived)
I'd publish a calendar for tropical ornithologists, filled with pictures of hot chicks

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:17, archived)
I'd publish a calendar for palm tree enthusiasts, it'd have many important dates highlighted

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:18, archived)
I'd publish a calendar for insecure bodybuilders, filled with lots of weaks

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:24, archived)
I approve of the term "weaks"

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:32, archived)
I'd publish a calendar for defoliant manufacturers, it'd be loose leaf

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:38, archived)
vegetables, pasta, that sort of thing when they've finished cooking

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:17, archived)
I'd put my dick in April, May and June
April O'Neill, May... urm... and...

Damn, someone think of a famous April, May and June please. Preferably both attractive and still alive.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:17, archived)
June Brown?
ewww.
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:19, archived)
Mae West
June Whitfield
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:19, archived)
SHIT! I SHOULD'VE WENT FOR JANUARY!
JANUARY JONES!

Damn, my ONE chance and I blew it!
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:21, archived)
i bet there's a porn star for every month of the year

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:33, archived)
February Fuxxx
March Melons
April Assgames
May Melons (no relations)
June Jellyfingers
July Jizzbreath
August Underground
September Sexxx
October Oral
November Knuckles
December Donkeypunch
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:36, archived)
and they are all YOUR MUM

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:37, archived)
Oh man!
They are an'all!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:39, archived)
I have an aunt called June.
She had a stroke she's bed ridden now, should be easy for you.
(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:23, archived)
I like 'em when they lie still and don't know my name

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:24, archived)
It's the droopy face that gets me going.

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:28, archived)
The months of the year
With enough space to make small notes underneath each day.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:18, archived)
woah, revolutionary idea! TO THE DRAGON'S DEN WITH YOU!

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:19, archived)
Thanks
I've been working on it for a while. There's virtually nothing else like it on the market right now
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:20, archived)
Does it come with pictures of cute West Highland Terriers, maybe one picture for each month?

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:24, archived)
That's a good idea
I was going to go with nudie girls with their boobs and that, but dogs is a much better idea.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:29, archived)
OK, I'll give you £20,000 for 50%

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:30, archived)
Is it cock ring bound?

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:26, archived)
It's not NOT cock ring bound

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:30, archived)
months days and all that vajazzle

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:21, archived)
Paedophiles.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:25, archived)
Um, WHAT?!

(I helped save b3ta! MONO!, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:28, archived)
every month a picture of a paedophile,
So you can recognise them if you see them and throw stuff at them.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:33, archived)
I'd publish a calendar for predatory, homosexual royals, filled with lots of pages

(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:29, archived)
you SICKEN me.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:31, archived)
Pictures of famous bush dodgers on every page?
Jonathon King, Glitter, V!ce, etc?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:31, archived)
Needs more Jeremy Beadle

(I helped save b3ta! Frisbee OG wanker, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:35, archived)
He wasn't
one of them was he?
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:46, archived)
SKINKS
Mother fucking SKINKS
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:34, archived)
what about skinks with minks listening to Pink on an ice rink?
I'd buy that calendar
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:37, archived)
skinks don't require novelty
Skink it up buttercup
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:46, archived)
I used to have a climbing rope that looked like that.

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:49, archived)
I <3 this.
www.nicejewishguys.net/
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:38, archived)
We should do a /talker calendar to outdo that auction shite
I reckon me across Oct/Nov/Dec, nude, that'll get units shifted
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:39, archived)
COR!!!

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:44, archived)
Good God
Imagine me and balders, stark naked, with our backs to the camera, looking over our shoulders coquettishly.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:45, archived)
*imagines*

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:46, archived)

 
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:46, archived)

  
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:46, archived)
hmmm.

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:47, archived)
I know
Sorry
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:48, archived)
I can only see balders, as I have you on ignore

(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:48, archived)
Because we wanna sell this in the Post Office, you can have diddley bows covering yer nads

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:48, archived)
My diddly bow is MUCH bigger than baldmonkeys
Just sayin'
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 15:00, archived)

www.b3tards.com/u/0d2ba503c5487a5f8adb/crossspotty.png
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:49, archived)
my unit is shifting right now

(I helped save b3ta! manolith hooray for me, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:49, archived)
Aw man sorry didn't mean to make you shit your kegs

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Fri 30 Mar 2012, 14:51, archived)