oh for fucks sake - I'm getting moaning emails
"Your mods are wrong. They are wholly unjustified. You block people for a glancing criticism at scaryduck. You let people like me post ineffectual post upon post. You let baldmonkey post hateful racist shit. You need to take a look, dude. You're losing a lot of your older members. You know, the one who made b3ta what it is? Just stop it. "

Can the lot of you just agree to play nicely with each other?
( rob, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:04, archived)

hi rob!
why all the /talk dramabombs? we are cunts who are cunts to each other. thassall.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:05, archived)

FINE

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:06, archived)

STOP FUCKING BULLYING ME.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:07, archived)

ANSWER MY CONCERNED WOUND QUERY THEN

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:07, archived)

I suspect it's going to do a John hurt chest-burster again soon.
so am looking forward to waking up at 3am with my hair full of blood again :(
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:10, archived)

wow, that's one hell of a blob.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:11, archived)

also, billy shatner was amazing on hignfw tonight. and jake shears is miming like a little bitch on graham norton.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:12, archived)

epic :(

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:14, archived)

/talk is fine when you're just mean to each other
but when it's raids on qotw / links etc - it just creates a mess and makes people upset
( rob, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:07, archived)

hi rob, you can ask me questions about my parrot if you like

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:09, archived)

waiting

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:10, archived)

still here

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:17, archived)

FUCK YOU THEN PARROT HATER

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:18, archived)

oh man, we just can't help raiding the girls dorms.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:10, archived)

panty raids!!
(what the hell was wrong with American colleges?)
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:13, archived)

shut it booger.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:15, archived)

/qotw thrive on it. ask emvee and his pathetic whiny manchild self.
as for links. not my department. they can probably fend for themselves if pushed though.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:15, archived)

their one meme is "post this link on /talk" to all newlings
so, is rob going to tell them to wind it the fuck in? no, because we don't give a fuck about this shite.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:16, archived)

With bacon references, cat vs dog vidos
and shouting GC!/SK!/VEET!/*INSERT CURRENT INTERNET MEME HERE*! at things that had been posted once before, 4 years ago.
( Mu Dinofiddler, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:19, archived)

I like how they post youtube videos some cunt from work emailed me weeks ago.
oh man, /links is well lol.
have you sent your application to bombay mick yet? LOLOLOLOLOLOL!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:21, archived)

I heard pcmechanic's a bit knifey watch out LOL

( Richard Shitheels, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:23, archived)

alright

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Sat 26 May 2012, 12:23, archived)

bored of that now

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Sat 26 May 2012, 12:24, archived)

Talk's a seething pool of hate, bile and vitriol.
It's gonna spill occasionally.
( Mu Dinofiddler, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:16, archived)

is their being upset really justified though? or should they just mtfu?

( spesh., Fri 25 May 2012, 23:17, archived)

Did you know that the first B3ta was designed to be a perfect world, where none suffered, where everyone would be happy?
It was a disaster. No one would accept the program, entire crops were lost.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:25, archived)

I'm not entirely sure why the humans needed to be kept in the matrix.
Couldn't the robots just have lobotomised them and not bothered with the huge, resource depleting computer simulation?

Or, you know, just burned whatever shit they were feeding the humans on for energy instead and be 40% more efficient?

You're a doctor, you're qualified in these matters.
( Mu Dinofiddler, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:31, archived)

why didn't they just make batteries?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:33, archived)

Because making the batteries uses more energy than they'd get out of them.

( Mu Dinofiddler, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:37, archived)

But there's that bit where Morpheus holds up batteries and says that's what the Matrix has turned people into.
Except the batteries are actually only imaginary batteries made by being imagined by people, who are being used as batteries....
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 26 May 2012, 0:34, archived)

wouldn't have made a very good film

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:33, archived)

It would have made more sense, and not needed the sequels.

( Mu Dinofiddler, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:38, archived)

They probably needed the humans for their creativity or something like that.
I can think of plenty of more practical power sources. Maybe they just liked fucking them in the back of the head with those metal spikes.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 26 May 2012, 0:18, archived)

Wake up Rob...
Follow the white penguin...
(Gazelle Wasn't here on, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:31, archived)

You want Rob to show you how deep his rabbit hole goes?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 26 May 2012, 0:20, archived)

hehe

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:32, archived)

Who is taking the internet too seriously?

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:05, archived)

lots of people by the sound of it. and rob. he should just tell them all to fuck off and suck his ginger penis or something

( spesh., Fri 25 May 2012, 23:07, archived)

cheer up, I heard cowfoot's back soon

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:07, archived)

I won't be happy until GMoS returns

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:09, archived)

We can dream, Spangles
:'(
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:11, archived)

name names rob, it's the only way

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:06, archived)

you
and them
( rob, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:06, archived)

it's always them, the fucking cunts.

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:10, archived)

Hello mictoboy
/relurks
( whelkboy is old now, you see, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:27, archived)

alright

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:49, archived)

what the fuck did I do?
yeah, if you know who done this stuff why not gaz them.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:06, archived)

when was baldmonkey a racist?
he's a cunt and no mistake but how the fuck is he racist?
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:07, archived)

is jew a race?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:10, archived)

no, it's not.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:11, archived)

what about parrot?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:12, archived)

John?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:13, archived)

is scottish a race?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:14, archived)

the scottish are all too fat to race

( spesh., Fri 25 May 2012, 23:16, archived)

this was the joke i was setting up for!

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:16, archived)

denied :'(

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:17, archived)

i'm glad we were headed in the right direction
and that we came together
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:17, archived)

I see rob has answered none of these questions.
imma gonna gaz him to complain.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:19, archived)

be sure to mention all your ineffectual posts

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:20, archived)

I will!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:23, archived)

*high fives*

( spesh., Fri 25 May 2012, 23:17, archived)

he was mean about a black headed gull on his blog, does that count?

( spesh., Fri 25 May 2012, 23:13, archived)

it would seem to.
I hate blackbirds, there I fucking said it.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:17, archived)

I'm shocked.
is Rob still around? Rob, can you ban mmps please? he's a terrible racist.
( spesh., Fri 25 May 2012, 23:20, archived)

it's true :'(
and I think all magpies are halfcast deviants.
I am a terrible man.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:22, archived)

tl;dr

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:06, archived)

something about bumholes

(#1, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:12, archived)

you missed it, I was imagining a goat trifle a few threads ago, you weren't there, you missed out dude

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:15, archived)

I'll catch it next time round.
Exciting stuff tonight. If I were him I'd shut this bit down now. You know, if your cat is ill you shoot it in the head or maybe you just don't want it anymore, either way it would be the kindest thing.
(#1, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:20, archived)

cruel to be kind
like when you set fire to a tramp
(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:22, archived)

Exactly like that yes.
See this is the sort of conversation and banter that made b3ta great like the man says. It makes you sort of proud in a nauseous kind of way.
(#1, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:27, archived)

shut up frank.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:29, archived)

his name's Paul
just sayin
(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:30, archived)

Jeesus! Some folk are slower that a slug with cramp.

(#1, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:32, archived)

I prefer messageboards you can't sign up for
that's how they should all operate
(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:35, archived)

If only there were such a thing.
Totally watching guitarists at the beeb on BBC4 here.
(#1, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:40, archived)

SHUT UP

(#1, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:31, archived)

NO YOUN ARE.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:33, archived)

also, hang on. these emails are from Roaneah, right?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:06, archived)

PLEASE ANSWER MY POLITE QUESTION.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:18, archived)

Tits
Or GTFO
EDIT: I don't really see what the problem is honestly, new people come, old people go, things change and life goes on. Petty drama!
(Gazelle Wasn't here on, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:07, archived)

to be fair, mongychops is pissed

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:10, archived)

oh man Q, shit's going down!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:13, archived)

i came here to get away from the grief
but the grief came too
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:15, archived)

oh man :'(
why is rob bullying us like this?
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:19, archived)

fuxking cunted bro

( mongychops, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:13, archived)

alright

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:15, archived)

lulz
Made my night, cheers rob
( mongychops, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:11, archived)

arselicker

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:12, archived)

the ginger camden media whore is trolling us, fuck him and his dailymash cunt sponsers

( mongychops, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:19, archived)

Aw man, you get moaning emails and then moan at us?
Who do we moan at? I'm going to go beat my children to relieve some of this stress. Well, beat someone's children anyway, I don't have any. You're furthering domestic abuse. Someone should stop this. I'm going to complain to the mods.
( Mu Dinofiddler, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:11, archived)

I just punched my parrot right up the fucking beak and it's all baldmonkey's fault

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:13, archived)

Yes for god sakes mods
Obviously we couldn't get up and walk away from the internets and do something else, FIX MY LIFE MODS FFS.
(Gazelle Wasn't here on, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:15, archived)

You're such a troll, I'm reporting you to the mods for this.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:17, archived)

ROB ROB
LOOK. HE THREATENED ME! CUNT HIM RIGHT ROUND THE FUCK!
(Gazelle Wasn't here on, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:26, archived)

oh lord is this where /talk unites in a blitz spirit like in that war?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:32, archived)

Let's get James May round to sort it
We'll all melt down our keyboards to make a Spitfire to reunite the community or some bollocks.
(Gazelle Wasn't here on, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:37, archived)

YES AND THEN A STREET PARTY AND THEN A YEAR OF HAVING GI'S BABIES WOO!

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:41, archived)

Street party?
I shall be complaining to the Prime Minister!
(Gazelle Wasn't here on, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:46, archived)

holy fish and chips batman,
I go to read Wikipedia for an hour and I miss all the crazy.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:17, archived)

I'm going to bed to read about Nazis

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:18, archived)

I've stood in Mengele's office at Auschwitz, it had horrible wallpaper

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:19, archived)

why would you go to bed to do that?
mein kampf bed covers?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:19, archived)

You're living life at a thousand miles an hour right there!

( Mu Dinofiddler, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:20, archived)

oh god have you not read 'the kindly ones'?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:24, archived)

No, What?

( Mu Dinofiddler, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:25, archived)

a novel about an SS officer.
it is brutal but fantastic at the same time.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:28, archived)

fascists. into eugenics and cults. didn't really like the jews.
job done, now you can read the beano!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:24, archived)

what are you reading about Nazis?
I recommend Laurence Rees' book on Auschwitz
( spesh., Fri 25 May 2012, 23:25, archived)

been there, it was shit, gas chamber was freezing fucking cold and there wasn't even a gift shop

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:26, archived)

it was cold because they had the gas cut off.
durr.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:30, archived)

ha

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:31, archived)

seriously, some fat american jewy bloke tried to take my photo in the fucking gas chamber
like "oh gee honey, here's a pic of that guy from En-ger-land and look, you can see the hole in the roof where the Zyklon B dropped through, isn't that so amazing"

cunt
(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:33, archived)

there wasn't piped gas at Auschwitz, just sayin

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:34, archived)

DO YOU THINK SO?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:39, archived)

Then what did they gas the jews with in the gas chamber?

( Mu Dinofiddler, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:39, archived)

terrible wind after eating all that sauerkraut

( spesh., Fri 25 May 2012, 23:40, archived)

They didn't gas them, they clubbed them all to death like baby seals.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 26 May 2012, 0:29, archived)

there was no gas, there was no genocide, just saying

( mongychops, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:40, archived)

the way I heard it, about 6,000 jews died of typhoid fever

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:41, archived)

it was probably AIDS

( spesh., Fri 25 May 2012, 23:44, archived)

this
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:26, archived)

you don't half read some shit books

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:28, archived)

I'm beginning to see why it only got five stars now

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:30, archived)

I meant the bible

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:31, archived)

bored of that now
good night
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:35, archived)

why are you replying, you said you were going to bed! you're worse than Hitler.

( spesh., Fri 25 May 2012, 23:30, archived)

nearly finished my beer now

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:31, archived)

yeah that's exactly what Hitler said before shooting Blondi and making Eva bite down on the cyanide

( spesh., Fri 25 May 2012, 23:32, archived)

click dis if you cry evry time

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:34, archived)

wiv da cherman angles nao.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:36, archived)

the bit about the Goebbels children gets me, not so much the dog and Eva

( spesh., Fri 25 May 2012, 23:41, archived)

Woah! What the fuck is this? Also why is B3ta suddenly asking me if I like cookies? Of course I like cookies!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:23, archived)

fatty.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:25, archived)

you've been identified as a troll, Bob Manual is installing hax on you to steal your credit card number because no one's buying advertising space in his lamentable newsletter

(Cabbages. Knickers. It's not got a beak, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:25, archived)

good point toucan!
when is rob sending us out cookies?
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:26, archived)

in before the inevitable delete!
also, has anyone screencapped this for posterity?
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:26, archived)

It's my b3ta birthday in three days
Well, I never! /relurks
( whelkboy is old now, you see, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:26, archived)

hello.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 25 May 2012, 23:29, archived)