morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 7:26, archived)

morning posse

( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 7:44, archived)

alright broadsword

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 7:44, archived)

Alright.
Just realised, I've lived round the corner from Mongychops for nearly 5 years and still not met him.
Or maybe I have and not known it......
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 8:49, archived)

I'm very elusive

( mongychops, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 9:02, archived)

I've checked behind every bin
unless you were disguised as a bag for life filled with rejects from the chazzer opposite the Standard I haven't found you yet.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 9:19, archived)

Did you hear the great Harry is being turned into a harvester, god help whatever pub ends up with those regulars

( mongychops, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 9:34, archived)

I went in there once.
It has that 'there's so many fights in here we don't bother tidying up any more' vibe about it.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 9:36, archived)

yes

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 8:54, archived)

shit news about Biz Markie eh, he's in a hospice

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 8:57, archived)

I wonder if he'll let me have his Technics SL700s

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 9:06, archived)

I reckon you should tweet his family and ask, no doubt they will appreciate the gesture

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 9:06, archived)

Hosbiz Markie

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 9:20, archived)

he'

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 9:27, archived)

I wonder if Ninj has done a "Meghan Markie" faceswap on /board yet, that would be hilarious.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 10:17, archived)

Would it, though? WOULD IT?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 10:38, archived)

No.
Unless you've drunk the /board kool-aid, in which case it would be a brilliant, incredibly difficult techical achievement and side-splittingly funny.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 10:46, archived)

haha we have a right laugh here don't we

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 10:57, archived)

I can't wait for next week's image challenge, 'shop Dot Cotton's face onto Gregg Wallace

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:07, archived)

'give Gregg Wallace a Brown face'.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:10, archived)

There have been more than a few lolracist faceswaps over the years,
usually accompanied by the "oh, but we'd 'shop a monkey's face onto a white person too!" get-out clause. I wonder how well that would play in today's climate.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:29, archived)

*PAGING BRB*

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 11:39, archived)

oh go on then just the one

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 9:35, archived)

🙂

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 10:37, archived)

There is nothing quite like sharing a house
With a dog with bad guts. A delightful afternoon walk was punctuated by the creature’s stinking liquid shits. As lovely as it is catching up with my mate here in Runcorn I seem to have spent most if the day looking at the plastic bag of doggie turd he’s been carrying. Now the balmy summer evening is being serenaded by the waft of canine farts.

I am never having a pet.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 21:43, archived)

That was me m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 22:40, archived)

Dog guts
Give my dog anything different to his normal diet and he'll have the squits for a week. He's an alsatian. It is Not Good. Gave him a lamb bone once, took 6 months for the garden to recover.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Thu 1 Jul 2021, 8:53, archived)

holy shit, it's the afternoon!
my water-cooled fan has arrived, now that it's dark and freezing outside

what have you bought that arrived well after it would have been useful?

alt: talk amongst yourselves
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 13:28, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jun 2021, 13:34, archived)

a'igh'

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 13:40, archived)

hello m8
last May we ordered - like a pair of fucking wankers - some inflatable chair/sun lounger things for the garden/summer. They arrived in September.

Thanks, covid
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 13:37, archived)

might be able to get them out in a couple of weeks though, eh
your testicles, I mean
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 13:39, archived)

WAY ahead of you bro

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 14:04, archived)

Blurays.

( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 14:14, archived)

you're supposed to say 'rays of colour'

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 14:19, archived)

he's SUCH a massive racist

( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 16:07, archived)

basically wrote the book on racism

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 16:35, archived)

Black ink trapped inside a pen and forced into service by white pages. Shit I fucking hate racism, me

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 17:14, archived)

Nothing, I don't think

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 15:45, archived)

so...you think something?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 16:18, archived)

I think all kinds of things

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 17:22, archived)

500 crates of PPE

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 16:46, archived)

lol PP

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 17:11, archived)

Oh who fucking cares

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 17:48, archived)

me, m8
*I* care
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 17:56, archived)

^ grumpy misanthrope

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 18:11, archived)

#infest

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 18:50, archived)

me mate, you want saink

(Nicki Minaj, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 19:20, archived)

Double Decker would be nice

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 20:45, archived)

Kenneth Williams' uncensored last words

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 1 Jul 2021, 9:42, archived)

classic /chat thread there
How's it going? Very pleased for the nation's sport fans, nice to have something to cheer the country up after such a shitty time. Good boost for the economy I expect, too, plenty more boxes of OI OI CARLINGS going through the tills and pizzas ordered.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 9:50, archived)

this is the only thing I like about football: sometimes, it makes a lot of people very happy
there doesn't even seem to have been any rioting this time, which makes a nice change
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 9:53, archived)

it's not my bag either but things like the olympics etc really do lift people's spirits when 'we' do well
you'll get no dismissive sniping from me, especially not this year
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 10:24, archived)

well maybe just a bit

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 10:24, archived)

I reckon the Olympics are going to be a proper shitshow this year though
might as well call them the Covid Games
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 10:36, archived)

It's a shame because the Japanese throw a good party. 2002 was excellent, I had a blast everywhere I went.

( mongychops, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 10:40, archived)

it's very high on my 'must visit' list, esp Osaka

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 10:44, archived)

I'm sure that'll perk her up, she's been down in the dumps recently.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 10:57, archived)

you wazzock

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 11:09, archived)

In all seriousness though, Japan is great.
Get a JR rail pass and bullet train around the country, it's fantastic.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 11:15, archived)

I'd fucking love to
not a fucking chance at the moment though, covid or not. Still, one can dream
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 11:20, archived)

Alright, had a good night last night. Saturday is going to be tricky to keep my powder dry till 6pm

( mongychops, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 10:25, archived)

hello mate, good times eh
I have a mate visiting on the weekend who will want to watch it, I fully expect to be completely wankered by the time it starts
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 10:30, archived)

Yeah a 8pm kick off does me no favours . Might have to get some livenr in

( mongychops, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 10:31, archived)

this is 100% how my day will go, my mate is a fiend and I've a) not seen him or b) got on the chisel for fucking ages

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 10:41, archived)

I have a hangover
I didn’t mean the vacation to start this way
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 10:33, archived)

I'll bet you do, young man

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 10:41, archived)

in which country did you wake up?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 11:48, archived)

The north

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 12:40, archived)

how utterly ghastly

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 13:37, archived)

It really is

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 16:16, archived)

It's nice to see people in a good mood

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 10:50, archived)

makes a fucking change eh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 11:08, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jun 2021, 11:04, archived)

some rather unpleasant flatulence but otherwise yes thank you

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 11:08, archived)

gud 2 no m8 lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jun 2021, 11:22, archived)

but what is there for us grumpy misanthropes?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 11:47, archived)

b3ta

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 11:48, archived)

Cheers

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 12:07, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jun 2021, 7:50, archived)

morning
did garold survive the night?
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 8:28, archived)

who nose, who cares

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 30 Jun 2021, 8:35, archived)

it is

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 9:26, archived)

I am very very drunk
Somewhere oop north. Runcorn. In a taxi. Fucking help!!!!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 1:34, archived)

Oh jausus
Still drinken
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 2:46, archived)

Drunkerererer
Help
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 3:09, archived)

Why is room spinen

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 3:10, archived)

Where am I ?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 3:11, archived)

What the ducking hell is a Warrington?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 3:12, archived)

alright spanishfly

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 9:29, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 30 Jun 2021, 5:21, archived)

COME ON, EN-ER-GA-LAND!!!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 29 Jun 2021, 18:29, archived)

I already did
Not sure I could manage again so quickly
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 18:36, archived)

lol that would be so cool

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 18:40, archived)

2:0
congratulations!
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 18:44, archived)

It's coming home

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 18:53, archived)

I hope all of England is getting shitfaced pissed drunk tonight

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 18:59, archived)

They will
Then we'll go into a lovely long lockdown that no one wanted
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 19:02, archived)

Football is coming home and then self isolating for two weeks

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 20:41, archived)

I think most vulnerable people have been killed off, and if you chose to become vulnerable and can't be vaccinated or it doesn't work for you. Tough shit seams to be conservative policy

( mongychops, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 21:20, archived)

"Tough Shit" is certainly a snappy slogan
Honest too
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 21:49, archived)

tough shit happens

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 22:25, archived)

SHIT WANK FUCK CUNT BREASTS RUDE PARTS
I've not had an order since 11:15, shit is lame, yo. I've whinged at Google merchant services, been to t'shops, gone for a stroll and watched a film on Netflix and it's still not even 5pm. I should've started on the waz at noon like dear old mongy.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 16:45, archived)

please like, share and subscribe

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 16:56, archived)

*orders*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 17:37, archived)

Hi, I'd like to place a huge order of GO FUCK YOURSELF

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jun 2021, 17:46, archived)

afternoon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jun 2021, 12:06, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8305606
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 12:17, archived)

Bit derivative, m(2^3).

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 29 Jun 2021, 12:20, archived)

mindlessly repetitious posting on a moribund messageboard mate, what dost thou expect?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jun 2021, 12:27, archived)

I dunno, you could at least ask us what our favourite genus in the order Lepidoptera is, or something.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 29 Jun 2021, 12:55, archived)

g pa
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 13:04, archived)

The one with the helmit of course

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 29 Jun 2021, 13:14, archived)

ŷêš

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 12:36, archived)

ch33rs

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jun 2021, 12:39, archived)

Which former world number one female tennis player currently winning her opening round match at Wimbledon is a massive willy?

Penus Willyams!!!
( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 13:45, archived)

idgi

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jun 2021, 13:48, archived)

Stiffi Graf

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 14:00, archived)

Monica Penis

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jun 2021, 14:12, archived)

Martina Massivewanger

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jun 2021, 14:12, archived)

Rod Laver

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 15:07, archived)

Fred Perineum

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 15:08, archived)

Boris Pecker

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 15:14, archived)

Jimmy Dongers

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 15:26, archived)

Horn Borg

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 15:26, archived)

Glandy Murray

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 29 Jun 2021, 15:27, archived)

Glandy Rod-dick

(Martin Anus, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 17:06, archived)

Novak Cockovic

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 29 Jun 2021, 15:27, archived)

Wilie Nastasie

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 15:31, archived)

Todger Federer

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 15:33, archived)

Keye Nishikori

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 15:40, archived)

Willy Jean King
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 29 Jun 2021, 17:15, archived)

Ann hard-on Jones

(Martin Anus, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 17:17, archived)

Evonne gooly gong

(Martin Anus, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 17:21, archived)

Andy Murray, the fucking prick

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 20:54, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:04, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:06, archived)

correct

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:09, archived)

Alright, exciting times , might start drinking at noon

( mongychops, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:08, archived)

what time does it start

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:09, archived)

5

( mongychops, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:15, archived)

then noon sounds like a sensible time to start on the beers

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:16, archived)

It's noon time

( mongychops, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 12:00, archived)

GO GO GO

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 12:31, archived)

noon starts at 12:00 m8

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:54, archived)

noted, thanks m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:57, archived)

no probz

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 10:10, archived)

noon ends at 12:01 m8

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 17:21, archived)

yo

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:17, archived)

aight

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:18, archived)

hi

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:29, archived)

Tell automatic slim
Tell razor totin' jim
Tell butcher knife totin' annie
Tell fast talkin' fanny
Tonite we're gonna pitch a ball
Down to that union hall
Gonna romp and tromp 'till midnite
We're gonna fuss and fight 'till daylight
We're gonna pitch a tang dang doodle all night long
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:36, archived)

lol fanny

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:36, archived)

union hall remains closed until all covid restrictions have been lifted

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:41, archived)

union hall b3ta
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:43, archived)

all covid restrictions have been lifted someone invents a time machine and takes everyone back to 2005
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:51, archived)

can you text automatic slim, razor totin' jim, butcher knife totin' annie and fast talkin fanny and let them know pls m8
they're going to be well gutted
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 10:39, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8305615
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 11:10, archived)

ikr

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 11:13, archived)

confirmed

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:32, archived)

phew, I took a gamble but it paid off

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:37, archived)

Living life on the edge m8

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:43, archived)

tres dangereux, m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:56, archived)

ENGERLUND
or something
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:56, archived)

the guy who played Freddy Kruger?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:57, archived)

+ bitch

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:58, archived)

heh
what's he up to these days anyway?
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 10:06, archived)

prolly a yewtree nonce

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 10:12, archived)

Still making movies
Not good ones, but still
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 10:33, archived)

I read he was in Stranger Things
along with that girl that everyone's going paedo over
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 10:42, archived)

madeleine mccann?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 10:56, archived)

that's the one

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 10:57, archived)

Do you mean the girl who's been in it since the beginning?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 11:19, archived)

probably
I've never watched it
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 11:22, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 10:26, archived)

how's it going?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 10:36, archived)

Dull
Waiting for the doctor to sort appointments with the leg clinic
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 10:50, archived)

Oof
That was quite the weekend
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 10:37, archived)

Am having a bit of a lie down before we leave London for a few days

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 10:38, archived)

leaving your builders unsupervised?
bold move m8
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 10:41, archived)

My brother in law will be house sitting
But so far they have been paragons of virtue.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 13:32, archived)

morning
just on my way for a covid test lol
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 29 Jun 2021, 7:36, archived)

Just don't be a dick, OK?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 17:39, archived)

that's some's people's name

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 17:43, archived)

what if I *LIKE* being a dick?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 28 Jun 2021, 17:44, archived)

it would explain a lot

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 17:51, archived)

being a
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 18:44, archived)

the first rule of BPD Posse is say whatever it takes to get any kind of attention on the internet
positive, negative, insults, death threats...attention is attention
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 19:23, archived)

ok mate

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 28 Jun 2021, 19:43, archived)

not your mate

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 19:50, archived)

go fuck yourself mate

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 28 Jun 2021, 19:53, archived)

Yhe first rule of BPD Posse is you don't talk about BPD Posse.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 28 Jun 2021, 22:45, archived)

Ye second antient rule of BPD Posse is thou dost not speak of BPD Posse.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 28 Jun 2021, 22:46, archived)

aye, ever been told you're a fuckin weird cunt?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 28 Jun 2021, 23:42, archived)

Yes.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 29 Jun 2021, 8:40, archived)

I’ll think about it

Dick, I mean
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 17:51, archived)

b3ta, you mean

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 28 Jun 2021, 18:41, archived)

And/or minge
There are lady boarders, Boyce
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 17:56, archived)

Just don't be a flange, OK?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 18:11, archived)

Oh ;'(

(Nicki Minaj, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 18:56, archived)

I said don't

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 29 Jun 2021, 9:20, archived)

My gmail has morphed into unresponsive bloatware. I hereby register my discontent.
What are you discontentohican'tbebothered.
( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 16:33, archived)

I've told you before, Matt, use your government account.
Oh, too late.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 21:30, archived)

What up, spazmonaut's?
Shitty rainy afternoon here in swinging London, this was not what was forecast last week. Wankers.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 12:56, archived)

fucking hell

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 28 Jun 2021, 12:59, archived)

what's your problem, you fucking knobcheese?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 13:50, archived)

YOU, YOU CUNT

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 28 Jun 2021, 13:56, archived)

every time I think you couldn't possibly be more of a penis you prove me wrong
it's almost impressive
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 13:58, archived)

just rebooked my 2nd jab to bring it forward
Huzzah!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 28 Jun 2021, 14:19, archived)

I wanna flail out, and belm the sky,
I'll lick some windows and I don't even know why;
I'm gonna giggle, then I'll drool all down my chin,
And spill the contents of an overflowing bin!
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 28 Jun 2021, 13:07, archived)

might watch some flid burlesque
www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/newsbeat-57470822
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 13:51, archived)

might not, also

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 13:51, archived)

Every day we stray further from God etc and so on and so forth.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 28 Jun 2021, 14:01, archived)

Crip Tease

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 14:13, archived)

oh, very good

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 14:20, archived)

^

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 14:22, archived)

Randycapped

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 14:14, archived)

splendid

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 14:21, archived)

Chariots of Phwoarr

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 14:22, archived)

Big fliddy goths

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 14:23, archived)

he'

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 28 Jun 2021, 14:24, archived)

Hahaha

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 14:25, archived)

lol

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 14:27, archived)

Bright sunshine here
And I've found my ball of green wool
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 13:11, archived)

all's well with the world

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 13:49, archived)

That's Morgellons Disease, you'd best get to a homeopath quickly.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 15:15, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 28 Jun 2021, 7:13, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 7:55, archived)

lol blanked

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 28 Jun 2021, 8:45, archived)

y

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 8:46, archived)

I have defied science and medicine by not having a hideous hangover today

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 8:46, archived)

you're vaccinated against hangovers now

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 8:49, archived)

it's a modern miracle

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 8:52, archived)

What were you drinking?

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 10:47, archived)

bottle of red and most of a bottle of rum
and a negroni

*edit* and a can of lager
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 11:16, archived)

*brb* etc

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 11:17, archived)

what, no partridge in a pear tree?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 11:25, archived)

A-ha!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 28 Jun 2021, 11:32, archived)

shut up pls
thanks
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 11:43, archived)

you make pigs smoke

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 28 Jun 2021, 12:01, archived)

nah, saving that for tonight

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 11:36, archived)

I can't think of any drinks with 'partridge' in the name
famous grouse?
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 12:13, archived)

close enough

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 13:00, archived)

Christ, I would have hurled

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 11:43, archived)

I woke up for a bit at about four feeling a bit ropey, drank a load of water and went back to sleep
When I woke up again later I felt fine, and since I've had breakfast, a good old go on the exercise bike and a shower I feel actively great. This should not be the case.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 11:52, archived)

Hello hello
Hello
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 28 Jun 2021, 9:09, archived)

hello

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 9:15, archived)

persistent little bastard, ain't ya?

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 9:26, archived)

yo

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 9:38, archived)

morning
I had a holiday last week, and soaked my phone like a spastic while kayaking. I can confirm that putting it in a container with uncooked rice and leaving it in the sun for a couple of days *does* work. I was overdue an upgrade anyway though.

#blog #anecdotes #forte
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 9:44, archived)

If you get rice on your phone, you should leave it in water for a few days.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 28 Jun 2021, 11:41, archived)

Got my second jab this coming Saturday
Finally, free WiFi
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 10:26, archived)

Bit disappointing to begin with
Saw the 'NHS Booking' messages and hoped it might be for my surgery. At least I'll be vaccinated though
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 10:33, archived)

Ask for them to program the nanobots in the vaccine to perform the surgery, they just need to flick a switch.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 10:35, archived)

I asked and they said I'd have to wait for the next windows update

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 10:43, archived)

Should have gone for the AppleZeneca one

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 10:54, archived)

lol nan's bot

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 11:15, archived)

better than nothing eh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 10:40, archived)

Absolutely
Definitely not complaining
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 10:43, archived)

I did hesitate at first
As you can't book a new appointment without cancelling the old one. Even though it wasn't booked for a few more weeks, I didn't want to lose it altogether
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 10:45, archived)

yeah I bottled it and waited for the scheduled date
I couldn't really risk it being put back further by gambling
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 11:16, archived)

My missus bought me a thing that goes round my neck with 2 fans that glow with lights and makes my face cold.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 27 Jun 2021, 22:49, archived)

and still you won't take the hint

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 27 Jun 2021, 23:07, archived)

she bought you that because you're gay

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 27 Jun 2021, 23:21, archived)

Oh no 😟
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 27 Jun 2021, 23:49, archived)

Hang on, using electric fans is homosexual?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 27 Jun 2021, 23:50, archived)

Is gay still the same as homosexual? Because queer has changed and I have no idea what that means now. I might even be queer now for all I know, it’s very confusing.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 2:38, archived)

Also, I’m old by the way.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 2:38, archived)

urgh

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 27 Jun 2021, 9:04, archived)

Bad night?

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 27 Jun 2021, 9:16, archived)

Spontaneous pub visit yesterday afternoon which turned into a bit of a session

(Runcorn shitty limits, Sun 27 Jun 2021, 9:32, archived)

cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 27 Jun 2021, 10:26, archived)

What a coincidence, me too..

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 27 Jun 2021, 11:33, archived)

Innit, proper fucked, still making my way home, got up to shenanigans

( broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 27 Jun 2021, 13:55, archived)

I was in a soft play centre for an hour and a half this morning on only a couple of hours' sleep after an MDMA sesh last night.
I'm not saying I'm a hero, but I do think I deserve to be eulogised in epic alliterative verse.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 27 Jun 2021, 18:43, archived)

christ I reallly miss bumbles, not sure I could cope now I have a kid

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 27 Jun 2021, 21:27, archived)

He woke up around 4:30, the little shit.
I took him downstairs at 5 for a very early breakfast, some books and Peppa Pig, while Mrs. Tea caught some more Z's. I'm basically Superman when you think about it.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 27 Jun 2021, 21:59, archived)

what a fucking wanker

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 27 Jun 2021, 22:56, archived)

you, I mean

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 27 Jun 2021, 23:35, archived)

Oh brave and mighty Mr. Tea, from nine o’clock to ten thirty, after a night on MDMA, hanging about where the kiddies play

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 28 Jun 2021, 2:48, archived)

cheers

(Runcorn shitty limits, Sat 26 Jun 2021, 21:15, archived)

beta, you mean

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 26 Jun 2021, 23:56, archived)

e +3
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 27 Jun 2021, 7:54, archived)

Sorry we’re just out of alpha, there are going to b3 a few teething problems

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 27 Jun 2021, 17:23, archived)

No m8

(Runcorn shitty limits, Sun 27 Jun 2021, 9:32, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 26 Jun 2021, 11:09, archived)

get fucked

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Sat 26 Jun 2021, 11:55, archived)

get fucked

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 26 Jun 2021, 12:36, archived)

bit rude

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sat 26 Jun 2021, 13:49, archived)

get fucked

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 26 Jun 2021, 12:22, archived)

youtu.be/225bPf0FzIs
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 26 Jun 2021, 12:37, archived)

Get cheers’d

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 26 Jun 2021, 12:37, archived)

cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 26 Jun 2021, 12:37, archived)

Wanky wanky wanky wank wank wanky wank wank
Or words to that effect
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 26 Jun 2021, 12:45, archived)

hi Two Hats

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 26 Jun 2021, 13:03, archived)

yeah, you?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 26 Jun 2021, 13:54, archived)

aye, not bad
you still in Leeds Will?
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 26 Jun 2021, 14:00, archived)