It's gonna be proper Phil Collins today.
What's the best thing about summer?

Alt. Morning
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 23 May 2012, 7:52, 135 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Night shift people
ASSEMBLE!
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 22 May 2012, 22:18, 111 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

first evening of the summer thread
it includes, curly fries, pinot noir and breasts
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 May 2012, 19:20, 53 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Well this is good isn't it?
No it fucking isn't.

I'm bored and now I can piss about on here a bit all you cunts seem to have died. Normally I'd be pleased about this but not today.

I don't know, ah, what's the shittest item of clothing you've ever owned? I used to have a psychedelic Stonehenge-design top with FLARED SLEEVES. I looked like a bent wizard in it. I also used to have a Dead-head style TIE DYE T SHIRT. That was also uber-bent. I also used to have a PATCHWORK WAISTCOAT which my brother made. Bent. And WOODEN BEADS (also bent). Later on I had a WHITE HOODY with an OM sign on it (chutney ferret).

Christ, I think I might kill myself. Luckily I successfully avoided cameras for the most part.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 16:46, 110 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Hello shitheads
I get paid extra this week and am fantasizing about what I can spend my money on.
What do you spend your extra on? Been saving up to buy something special?

Alt how do you spend your days off?
Alt alt new musics you like
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 22 May 2012, 14:53, 136 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

urgh. new thread.
I'm full of pasta from dinner. I'm all comfy in bed, but it's kinda cold and lonely.

What happens to you when you have an "uh oh" moment? when did you last have one?

My uh oh moment of the week was realising that I hadn't handed in a prac report. I ran about frantically and got it in late. :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 22 May 2012, 13:33, 91 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

11:08 - New Thread o'clock
Bored with non-gay chilli squid now.

Sell yourself to offtopic. One paragraph of why we should hire YOU. Yes YOU, the grubby one. There. You! I'm pointing at you now

Alt:
Or another b3tan
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 May 2012, 11:09, 136 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Yeah morning.
Today is the second day of my being shortstaffed, one more day to go.

Selfish cunts with their 'illness' and 'holidays'. I just hope that 'they' bring in that legislation soon where you can fire cunts with ease. Right? Couple of undeserved sackings and none of them would dare have a day off again.

Yeah.

Alt: I had chilli squid for dinner last night and it was fucking ace. Do you like chilli squid? If not, you must be some kind of GAY. Are you? Are you some kind of gaylord?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 May 2012, 8:31, 202 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Do I really want another cup of tea?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 21 May 2012, 19:45, 240 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm watching The Thing while making chicken and vegetable pies for dinner.
What are you doing?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 21 May 2012, 17:29, 86 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

sod that
www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-18142731

Coldplay headlining the paralympics, that makes sense as they're a bunch of spastics.

What bands would make sense to headline what past/future events?

Alt: I dunno, what was the sky like when you were young?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:58, 111 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

If you could have a food based super-power, what would you choose?
I'd have bubblegum eyes so that when I sneeze, if I pinch my nose they'd inflate and I could fly on them like two big stick hot air balloons.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Mon 21 May 2012, 15:20, 26 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Summer's turned up then, do you have a seasonal wardrobe? What items of clothing are you most looking forward to wearing?
Alt: I have already seen two chavs driving vans whilst topless today, what signs of summer have you noticed?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 21 May 2012, 14:18, 114 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCH

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 21 May 2012, 12:38, 65 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I saw Boris Johnson this morning, for the second time in a week.
Who was the last famous person you saw?

Alt: who is the BEST famous person you've seen or met?

Alt alt: GAY
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 May 2012, 11:05, 131 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin'alive
Those Gibb brothers are a bunch of lying cunts.

I'm going to be wearing a black armband today. I'm so upset that I'll probably be placing flowers on an awkward bend in the road, and starting a Facebook page for people to "like".

Why am I so upset, people?

Why?

Alt: Why?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 21 May 2012, 7:57, 306 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Listen up Ducks.
I bring you news. News that one of our number is missing.

It is my unfortunate duty to inform you that Battered has been stepped. Stepped, not for 24 or 48 hours. But for longer than that. A whole 3 days.

When Zammo had his drug problems in Grange Hill the cast and crew gathered and scored a hit single, 'Just Say No!' to help their hero.

Now our very own Zammo has fallen foul of the rule-makers with one comment too many. Therefore, to show your support for him, I urge you to 'Just say NONCE!'.

To understand just how Battered is feeling, he isn't even remotely angry, he's just disappiointed. Disappointed that such a scary thing could happen to him.

So. Support the GRANGE HILL ONE and send him a postcard with the word NONCE on it to the usual address.

Peace out.

West-side.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 20 May 2012, 17:05, 95 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Sunday pondering.
I met my dad's girlfriend for the first time last night. She's ace, and she has a penthouse in Sao Paulo that she says I can use any time. Remind me to follow that one up. I'm well chuffed for my old man cos I gotta admit I was a bit concerned.

I must admit that I've currently got the worst hangover in the world after taking her out for cocktails last night though. How's your weekends been you bunch of queers?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 20 May 2012, 12:21, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Evening all, how are we?
Night/Morning thread, assemble!

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sun 20 May 2012, 1:53, 17 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Captains log star date may 19th 2012
Star trek is shit. Discuss.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 19 May 2012, 19:25, 27 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

blue milk has ruined my tea
what's ruining your Saturday morning?

and yes I know it's early but I've been up with the babba since 6
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 19 May 2012, 7:50, 83 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Sup.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 18 May 2012, 23:57, 7 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Generic Evening Thread.
Oh my DAYZ, I got the idea out of the blue that I wanted a burger today, a real proper good tasty one. And in Watirose they had all the stuff on end-of-life cheapness, So this is what I've done.

Burger: Minced Beef, 1/2 a red onion, 1 egg, breadcrumbs, posh blue cheese in the middle to melt. (in the fridge now to firm up).
Salsa: Red onion, Vine Tomartoes, 1/2 lime, chili, garlic (OH MY DAYZ, SO NICE, CAN EAT THIS BY ITSELF)
Gwakamoli: Swap the tomartos for ripe avacardo, and it's the same thing (OH MY DAYZ, SO NICE, CAN EAT THIS BY ITSELF)
BreadChips: I made jacket potato for lunch but didn't eat it, so I've chopped this up and shallow fried it (OH MY DAYZ, SO NICE, CAN EAT THIS BY ITSELF)

This has the potential to be the best meal I've ever made in my entire life ever in the world.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:51, 8 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Well then. I guess it's the evening thread.
I am being a shut in tonight and shall probably get gently sloshed in front of the telly/internet whilst tomorrow night I'm off out getting heavily drunk in Town with a mate.

You?
( Kroney, Fri 18 May 2012, 18:48, 159 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Fuck that shit
This is interesting sobadsogood.com/2012/04/29/25-words-that-simply-dont-exist-in-english/

Especially this word, (which applies to all of you) Backpfeifengesicht

What things need words which don't have words eh?

Alt: Why does no one ever answer the main question?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 May 2012, 16:07, 67 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

FFS
What are you doing this weekend?

I am seeing my chicken-pox-ridden kid this evening and staying over with her. I'm going round a chum's for dinner tomorrow and back round to see my daughter Sunday morning.

In case you were wondering.

Alt: something about raffles
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 May 2012, 14:55, 87 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

How embarrassing
I've just come out of a meeting with my boss and a guy who is doing some consultancy work for us. During the meeting the consultant was asked to plug his laptop into the projector so that we could have a look at something on our website. After typing the address into the browser he accidentally clicked on the drop down box to reveal previous websites he had visited. These mainly consisted of pantyhose fetish sites.
How have your dirty porn habits embarrassed you recently? You may widen this to include other embarrassing stories about yourselves and others which don't involve porn.
Or you can just take this as an opportunity to call Nakers a bent spastic.

Alt: Battered was accused of double standards in the previous thread. What double standards do you have? Why are you such a hypocrite?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 May 2012, 12:18, 164 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Time for a newbie.
What's good for a hangover? Please don't say drinking too much a few hours previously. I find liquids, and cooked food helps. And vitamin B.
Alt, no idea, please introduce your own topics.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 18 May 2012, 12:18, 12 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

today has started swimmingly
i picked the wrong seat on a train, sat opposite a drunk asshole who couldn't keep his drink or himself on his side of the table. ended up with me asking him to stop throwing booze over me and heckling the girl three seats back, first nicely, then firmly, him hitting my laptop, and me completely losing my shit and shaking him like a terrier shaking a rat whils bellowing at him. not too proud of that one tbh.
what last made you lose your temper?

alt: what in particular has ruined your morning today?

alt alt: best crisps? my vote is t-bone steak roysters.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 18 May 2012, 10:54, 87 replies, latest was 12 years ago)