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# Kim Kardashian and the Travesty of Sponsored Tweets
This useless waste of organized, carbon-based molecules has, in a normal society, no marketable talents or skills. She has no right to command the levels of compensation she currently receives from our backward fucking culture.

She provides no meaningful service to mankind; excepting perhaps her passive facilitation of the excretion of man-batter. (Although, the excretion of man-batter is largely due to men's furious appetite for the rub-n-tug; with which we can use any amongst millions of images in our spank-bank.)

Does she have a nice ass? Sure...it's an excellent ass! I wanna take a big bite out of each cheek. Not for sexual reasons; I'm in a committed relationship with a highly intelligent woman. I want to bite her ass to test it's durability. It's rumored that her ass-cheek implants were fabricated from materials developed during NASA's Apollo mission. Talk about useful spillover technology!!! My desire to bite her ass comes purely from my own scientific curiosity.

I want to position both my hands eagle-talon style on her cheeks and squeeze with all my might. Then release...to see if I leave handprint indentations. And then...observe her ass slowly return to form like tempurpedic mattress material.

I want to bend her over in order to place a full champagne glass gingerly on one ass cheek; then abruptly drop a bowling ball on the other. Will the glass topple? What do you think?

She commands her more than generous living through the fact that she's a slut with a bionic ass! She wasn't even that instrumental in making the love of a bulbous, oversized ass mainstream; Jennifer Lopez and Sir Mix-A-Lot could probably sue for royalties. Kim Kardashian indeed sits on the asses of giants!

Why am I going off on this Asstastic Armenian? I read that she participates in Sponsored Tweets program. That is, she is currently paid $10,000 or more every time she tweets for a sponsor.

Things like, 'Wow! It's hot today! I could sure go for a frosty treat at Coldstone!'. Cha-Ching!!! $10,000!!! This is a travesty of what is currently an unjust, decadent and degenerate culture. That typing, 'I like Diet Coke' into a handheld device could 'earn' anyone three months of a teacher's salary is fucking vomit-inducing.

I have an idea! Let's pool our money, buy a sponsored tweet and have Kim write:

'I, Kim Kardashian, am a completely useless tool; I am rich because I'm a slut and lonely men like to jizz on my face in magazines.'

That might have been too many characters; fuck it!
(FunnymanCharlie, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 6:19, archived)
# You seem to have mistaken me for Johnny Give-A-Shit.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 6:29, archived)
# Ah yes...
but I'm betting she can read the FAQ and post on the correct board.
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Sat 2 Oct 2010, 6:31, archived)
# HI THERE
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 6:36, archived)
# HI IM KERMIT
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 6:39, archived)
# HAMFISTED BROTARDS
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 6:42, archived)
# Hhahahahahahah
what? It had one result originally, now it's two pages, and none of them are the original result or the shopped copy I made of it.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 6:45, archived)
# I can give you SEO advice if you want
I know a guy whose brain is what they based the google algorithm on.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 6:59, archived)
# ARE YOU KERMIT THE BOG?
OR HAVE I MISTAKENLY IDENTIFIED YOU AS ANOTHER CHARACTER WITH A SIMILAR TITLE?
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 6:52, archived)
# KERMIT THE LOG
IT'S NOT EASY BEING BROWN
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 6:53, archived)
# YEAH ITS TOUGH ALRIGHT. BUT SOMEONE HAS GOT TO DO IT
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 6:57, archived)
# I think this may help ¬
www.b3ta.com/board/10206210
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 6:46, archived)
# Kim who?
What!
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 6:51, archived)
# My thoughts exactly
Is she on the wireless?
(SpangleDangle >->)))'>, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 9:12, archived)
# THIS IS A HATE CRIME
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 6:54, archived)
# where am I? what's going on? this isn't the scheduled program!
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 7:29, archived)
# You have inadvertently logged into /talk
Welcome noobie, pull up a type writer and type some text.

PS: NING HT!
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 7:44, archived)
# calm down
normal programs will begin shortly.
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 7:58, archived)
# The crystal set is on the fritz again, grampa, we need more coal in the stoker room!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 9:36, archived)
# amazing shop this
looks just like words.
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 7:36, archived)
# funny, man
(benito vaselini no not that one, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 7:41, archived)
# where do I chip in?
that's a sound investment
(I helped save b3ta! Bob the mul Don't look at me that way, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 7:43, archived)
# TOO MANY WORDS
so early on a saturday as well.

you are a lonely man who likes to jizz on Kim Kardashian face in magazines AICMFP!
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 8:24, archived)
# Who doesn't like to jizz on here face?
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 8:44, archived)
#
No chance, last time I sent a Nigerian money it turned out to be a scam, I am not falling for that again.
(I helped save b3ta! Saner, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 8:43, archived)
# it's saturday morning and I need sleep so I'll put this in simple terms for you
FUCK OFF YOU CUNT WHERE IS MY FUCKING PICTURE
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 8:43, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 2 Oct 2010, 8:50, archived)
# Christ...
Wikipedia's let itself go.
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 8:52, archived)
# If only you had a blog I could ignore, the circle would be complete..
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 8:56, archived)
# That's nice dear.
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 9:34, archived)
# MOAR TEZXT!
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 9:56, archived)
# I just did a shit and disguised it as Mr. Potatohead
but you don't see me starting a pictureless thread about it.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 9:57, archived)
# Which is a shame, really
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 10:43, archived)
# I haven't forgiven the Kardashians for what they did to the Bajorans
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 10:11, archived)
# pffft
(Ravenous Bugblatter Beast This content may not be working. Please try again., Sat 2 Oct 2010, 12:03, archived)
# look, your stand-up you posted on /links wasn't funny; this isn't funny or remotely interesting.
fuck off.
(I helped save b3ta! spesh., Sat 2 Oct 2010, 10:45, archived)
# I loved it!
1/10
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 10:57, archived)
# It's saturday, my head feels like a fucking zeppelin and I smell like a pub.
GO FUCK OFF!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Oleary MAKE MONEY FAST $$$, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 11:03, archived)
# I think you'll find....
...it's Arse.
(acered76 What!? The Curtains?, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 11:16, archived)
# >
www.b3ta.com/talk/
(I helped save b3ta! herman:D, Sat 2 Oct 2010, 11:50, archived)