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# Help me with the newsletter - it's issue 486 - and I'd like you to try and write some nerdy jokes about 486 proccessors
if you think that's possible that is.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:19, archived)
# Impossible
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:20, archived)
# Inconceivable
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:22, archived)
# ^^ that
if only because I have no fucking idea what this is so I feel excluded.

*sulks*
(I helped save b3ta! camp freddy well, would you look at that!, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:02, archived)
# The Intel 80486 microprocessor
The Intel 80486 microprocessor (alias i486 or Intel486) was a higher performance follow up on the Intel 80386. Introduced in 1989, it was the first tightly[1] pipelined x86 design as well as the first x86 chip to use more than a million transistors, due to a large on-chip cache and an integrated floating point unit. It represents a fourth generation of binary compatible CPUs since the original 8086 of 1978.

A 50 MHz 80486 executed around 40 million instructions per second on average and was able to reach 50 MIPS peak.

The i486 was without the usual 80-prefix because of a court ruling that prohibited trademarking numbers (such as 80486). Later, with the introduction of the Pentium brand, Intel began branding its chips with words rather than numbers.
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:03, archived)
# So get writing some jokes about that then, freddy ;o)
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:08, archived)
# zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz huh? wut?
tl:dr and also zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sorry whut? fell asleep again.

ok - will try.
(I helped save b3ta! camp freddy well, would you look at that!, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:46, archived)
# Awwww
*hugs*
C'mere, poppet...
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:02, archived)
# Why did the 486 cross the road?
To catch the Local Bus

I just made this joke up, amazing, huh
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:21, archived)
# When is a 486 not a 486?
When it's a Pentium
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:22, archived)
# How many 486s does it take to change a lightbulb?
486
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:23, archived)
# A 486 walks into a bar.
The barman says, "Why the tightly coupled pipelining?"
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:25, archived)
# semi mind piss
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:26, archived)
# *offers sponge*
Not really enough for a mop.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:30, archived)
#
A Pentium, a 486 and an XT were at the fair and about to go on the helter-skelter when an old crone steps in front of them.

"This is a magic ride," she says. "You will land in whatever you shout out on the way down."

"I'm game for this," says the 486 and slides down the helter-skelter shouting "GOLD!" at the top of his voice. Sure enough, when he hit the bottom he found himself surrounded by thousands of pounds worth of gold coins.

The Pentium goes next and shouts "SILVER!" at the top of his voice. At the bottom he lands in more silver coinage than he can carry.

The XT goes last and, launching himself from the top of the slide shouts "WEEEEEEE!"
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:28, archived)
# I thought it was going to be 'SHIT'
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:35, archived)
# A 486 walks into a bar...
he says 'ow'.
(I helped save b3ta! tokyosexwhale Straight From my Mind Penis..., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:56, archived)
# ... and she said "because I've got Intel Inside"
*rofl*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:23, archived)
# ... and then the Vicar turned back around and said "You should see my Floating Point Unit"
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:27, archived)
# ...but the Cat shouted into the Mouse-Hole "No, you idiot - I said SRAM"
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:29, archived)
# ... instead, he came right up to the net, threw down his racquet and yelled "You cannot be Cyrix!"
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:32, archived)
# hahaha
cyrix were shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:42, archived)
# Rebekah Brookes hacked my 486
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:24, archived)
# 486 Proccessors (sic) walked into a bar...
Barkeep says "Oh bloody hell, not you lot again"
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:25, archived)
# COSTS £2000 AND NOT COMPATIBLE WITH RISE OF THE ROBOTS
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:26, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:42, archived)
# And so the country bumpkin cousin says to the city slicker cousin
'Next time try putting the 486* down the front of your swimming trunks!'

*It's actually potato but I don't know what a 486 is
(I helped save b3ta! Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:28, archived)
# hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:29, archived)
# haha
although i know what a 486 is, it's a very boring topic for the newsletter headline.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:37, archived)
# 486 DX2 33
1.2GB HDD
2MB RAM

feel the power.

people laughed saying i'd never fill a hard drive that size.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:28, archived)
# The maths teacher asked the 486...
"Multiply these two floating-point numbers"
"Can't", said the chip.
"Oh," sighed teech. "An SX boy."
(NoPotPourri putting the poo into pooters since, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:29, archived)
# Ooof!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:31, archived)
# Christ
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:31, archived)
# Oh gawd
I don't know what's worse, the joke or that I get it...
(beerMatt, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:07, archived)
# Haha
I was trying to think if there was a way of shoe-horning SX into a joke. I wasn't getting very far.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:31, archived)
# my attempts
* I'm going to do a nerdcore tribute to the Tom Robinson Band. 2 4 8 6 Motorway.
* Something about "branded with numbers" and Jews/Nazis and Intel. But it all goes a bit racist when I try and do it.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:31, archived)
# knock knock
(I helped save b3ta! Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:35, archived)
# Alright, then - Who's there?
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:37, archived)
# 486
(I helped save b3ta! Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:38, archived)
# 486 who?
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:40, archived)
# EXACTLY.
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:09, archived)
# 1 million transistors can't be wrong
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:36, archived)
# Why was 3 afraid of 4?
because 4 8 6!
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:37, archived)
# oh fuck that's where i was going to go with my knock knock joke
(I helped save b3ta! Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:39, archived)
# Slappy Candlemas!
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:43, archived)
# A 486 procesor walks in to a bar
the barman says, "no mate, I'm not serving you any more"
"Why?" asks the 486
"You're always coming in here giving it all that"
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:39, archived)
# *actual lols*
please describe the hand gesture you would use for this joke
(I helped save b3ta! Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:40, archived)
# *mimes inserting a floppy*
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:41, archived)
# An Englishman, and Irishman and a 486 processor walk into a bar
Christ, thinks the barman, it's like nineteen eighty fucking nine all over again.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:40, archived)
# how do you get a geek to shag your girlfriend?
put a 486 in her cunt
(I helped save b3ta! Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:42, archived)
# My 486 processor is so fat
she got discontinued in 2007, even for embedded devices.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:42, archived)
# A 486 powered Windows 98 First Edition PC: More Integrety than the News of the World
(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:44, archived)
# Live from the city of Byte's wonderful theme park "8 Flags"
(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:44, archived)
# It didn't quite Register with him that this untamed processor could byte, and byte hard. Luckilly he only got nibbled.
(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:46, archived)
# Written on an Intel 486 running Windows 3.1 - because you're worth it.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:52, archived)
# Whats the best thing about 486 processers?
You can make 486 low fat banana smoothies at once!
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:54, archived)
# hahah!
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:57, archived)
# you really expect funny before 10?
What's the difference between a 486 chip and a virus?

A virus does something.
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 9:58, archived)
# Process this motherfuckers....
:)
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:00, archived)
# ...and they were all so hungry,
the four ate sick.
(I helped save b3ta! MisterPunch did it that way on, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:01, archived)
# I slept with a 486 once
I woke up feeling SCSI
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:06, archived)
# There once was a 486
Who tried to raytrace some pics
It shat out its bus
and caused lots of fuss
But that's how the geeks get their kicks
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:11, archived)
# *clicks*
(I helped save b3ta! Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:13, archived)
# Ooh your click rhymed
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:18, archived)
# What do you get if you shove a handful of 486 processors up *insert female hate figure*'s fanny?
Fish and chips!
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:18, archived)
# I would have guessed "5 years"
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:23, archived)
# I got hit by a car and woke up in 1986
was I dead?
Was I in a Coma?
And then I remembered. My computer is a 486
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:30, archived)
# What the fuck is wrong with your tongue in your profile?
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:40, archived)
# 486....a Spectrum for hardcores
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:46, archived)
# It wasn't the fact that 486's couldn't run Windows ME...it just didn't want to.
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 10:51, archived)