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# B3ta Interview: What should we ask Tony Hart?
I've been working hard emailing people all over the place, and Tony Hart has agreed to be interviewed by B3ta. What should we ask him? (We'll take the best questions and ask him those.)
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 8:48, archived)
# Do you remember
the first time you ever drew a crab?
(I helped save b3ta! pete, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 8:50, archived)
# is he still friends
with morph? and if so where does he live?

and why is it when i was a kid i grew up in the capable hands of him & could draw quite nicely thankoo, but now i draw like a spastic?
(sorgboi, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:00, archived)
# Brill!
Did he ever squash morph, or try to damage him in any way?
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:00, archived)
# Has he seen
the b3ta version of the gallery. Isn't it fantastic?
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:02, archived)
# ask
is it true that only mad people can draw a perfect circle freehand?
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:10, archived)
# Morph
Where you high when you devised Morph and his friends?
(I helped save b3ta! follymoff is listening to windmill and mice based songs, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:21, archived)
# ooh!
Did you write the gallery music yourself?
(Twisted_Becca, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:23, archived)
# The Gallery Music
The Gallery Music was the theme from Deerhunter. . .and it might have been a classical piece before that, but I'm not edgercatered enough to know
(Jimmyjames, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 20:19, archived)
# The Caretaker dude
Whatever happened to your caretaker mate? I heard he joined the Russian Army in 1987.
(I helped save b3ta! follymoff is listening to windmill and mice based songs, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:23, archived)
# Mr. Bennett (was caretaker dude)
I may be seeing things, in fact i'm sure I am otherwise posting this would be a lot harder, but Mr. Bennett is currently apearing in the TV Go Home programme on E4.

Seems to have overcome his typecasting at last ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 11:17, archived)
# Yes
I saw him last night doing "victims" on tvgh. very evil he was too. it's good, because I remember him doing a really late night show talking to people who ran all night garages and stuff in the street when I was at college, which seemed a shame for someone who played such a pivotal role in my childhood.
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Sun 9 Dec 2001, 11:23, archived)
# ahhhhh!
I remember that!

Late night C4 has provided so much quality stuff over the years. I don't think i realised it was him though, thinking back it certainly was.

I haven't seen Mags in anything though.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 11:32, archived)
# I love badgers
What colour is blue?
(I helped save b3ta! follymoff is listening to windmill and mice based songs, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:24, archived)
# what do you think of computers being used to make art?
and if you could sum up crabs in one word what would it be?
(Naughty Tortoise, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 9:43, archived)
# Mr. Hart
Why did you never show any of my pictures?
(Zannusi Beatz, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 10:02, archived)
# what
has he done to save the rain forests?
(olaf, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 10:59, archived)
# Hart to Hart
Was Jonathan Hart in Hart to Hart your brother? If so, were you jealous of him being married to Stephanie Powers and being a crime-fighting millionaire, or were you happy anyway?
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Sun 9 Dec 2001, 11:20, archived)
# Neil Buchanan
Do you resent Neil Buchanan's potentially offensively titled show Art Attack? Yours were much nicer in their nomenclature. If you suffered from coronary disease would you complain?
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Sun 9 Dec 2001, 11:24, archived)
# Tony Tony Tony
Do you think you could take Rolf Harris in a fight?

Fnord.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 11:25, archived)
# Please? Pretty Please?
Please could you draw me a crab? That would make me the happiest person alive. I would be so proud.
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Sun 9 Dec 2001, 11:25, archived)
# Do you approve of digital art?
Or do you think it doesn't count in the same way as "real" drawings and paintings?
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Sun 9 Dec 2001, 11:27, archived)
# Digital Art
It's odd reading that question when you can clearly see the Art Angel Gabriel below (on the messageboard).

You don't get that with paints and crayons.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 11:39, archived)
# oy crab!!!! that was my question!!!
posted then. Sun 9 Dec 15:43.

so grrr at you, tainted by crabby power i see.
(Naughty Tortoise, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 14:55, archived)
# Your Head
Tony, if I were to take your head, and put it on some random animal. What animal would you want it to be?
(IncoherentDischarge, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 12:49, archived)
# What is better:
blutac or contact lenses?
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 14:29, archived)
# Hmm....
If you had three wishes, what's 54 x 38?
(OtaKuno, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 15:22, archived)
# What's your favourite medium
Paint, tin foil, pasta or washing up bottles swinging around on string?
(I helped save b3ta! nicey, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 15:47, archived)
# on the gallery
would there have been any bias on what was used if a child submitted a video of a performance piece they'd done featuring a monkey driving a lawnmower, or turned the lights on and off.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 17:03, archived)
# tony
what do you do nowadays??
(cold, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 17:05, archived)
# do you think
one of the reasons the show went from being aimed at deaf viewers to all kids, was that the gallery music was so good?

Do you think the speedbrush you used to use on big pictures could be emulated on Photoshop and thus put us designers out of work or make us get paid for nothing if we keep it secret?
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 17:07, archived)
# tony hart question
ask him, if he think the element of uncirtainty introduced into quantum theory by wave mechanics means there is an ultimate limit to human evelution. or maybe if he prefers a H2 or B2 pencil.
(Hentai zombie, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 18:20, archived)
# Any idea`s
where I can download the gallery mp3? Kinda turns me on.....er i mean, it relaxes me
(tylrdiablos, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 18:52, archived)
# There are links to it
from tony's homepage, above.
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 2:03, archived)
# My question:
When did you lose your virginity?
(TuffPirat, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 19:13, archived)
# Question #287934
When elected President of the United States of America, what will you do for this country?
(Tibika, Sun 9 Dec 2001, 22:05, archived)
# ...
Hmmm, Tony, when discussing the Gallery pictures, did you ever really feel like saying - " God, this picture of the Eiffel tower made from spaghetti and silver spray paint is actually .... quite awful! I'm ashamed to see the children of today are incapable of creating art from anything other than dry foodstuffs!" - but had to resort to saying " this is a wonderful textured image of the Eiffel Tower, it really stands out of the page", because you weren't allowed to criticise the children's artwork?
(I helped save b3ta! grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 1:14, archived)
# Gurkha officer to telly artist ...
How ?
(are there hundreds of ex-gurkhas in the world of art, or is the man unique ?)
(anat0010, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 3:19, archived)
# Was morph
chucked back in the plasticine bucket every week?
(james, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 3:45, archived)
# Was morph
that brownish colour because he was an amalgamation of all the colours in plasticine bin (kind of like the same colour as all my plasticine 2 hours after the packet was opened).
(james, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 3:50, archived)
# Was
morph's friend based on my brother? It really used to confuse me as a child.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 3:57, archived)
# On Tony's website he draws pics for people (Hartoons)
where's ours where's ours where's ours...
(james, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 4:26, archived)
# when did you first
wear a cravatte. Where's a good place to purchase them?
(I helped save b3ta! Jay, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 7:39, archived)
# my questions:
what you do think of Turner Prize winner Martin Creed?

Do you think the electrician who made it should actually've won instead of the man that thought of it? (did you think the wiring was done by Mr Bennet?)

Do you actually like that kind of art?

What's the bigggest, and the smallest things you've ever drawn - and what did you draw them with?

What's your favourite childrens book?

Did anyone send a picture in for the Gallery who then went on to become famous artists (or famous anything for that matter?)

What's your favourite name you've ever heard for a colour.

How old was the oldest entrant for the gallery?

(I helped save b3ta! pep, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 10:17, archived)
# I am from Bracknell
and it's always been widely believed amongst Bracknellians that Tony Hart is a Bracknellian too (thus justifying their existence). Are you a Bracknellian? I have seen you in the town centre once, and I also saw you paint a big picture of a fox and a moon and other stuff above Boots at the Bracknell Carnival, I think in 1983.
(markyb, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 10:20, archived)
# Question for Mr. Heart
Have you had any accidents invloving paint and such like materials
(spatchcock, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 12:08, archived)
# Have you ever thought of...
...having Morph and his friends have a death match?
(I helped save b3ta! JamboM, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 12:22, archived)
# If you could go back
and redo any of your programs, which would you redo, what would you change and why?
(I helped save b3ta! chimpy, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 15:18, archived)
# Did Tony Ever...
...try to mould Morph into a cock+bollocks? Or a poo?

And did he ever shove Morph's head up one of his nostrils, for a laugh? Or tear one of Morph's legs off and stick it to his head? Or try starving him?
(StuffedAlienOnWheels, Mon 10 Dec 2001, 16:08, archived)
# is it true?
Is it true that Morph and his friends were actually modelled out of rabbit poo?
(addict, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 5:43, archived)
# ...
Daddy or Chips?
(I helped save b3ta! man/child/goblin should be old enough to know better by now, Tue 11 Dec 2001, 14:03, archived)
# tony hart
I remember when I was younger watching this twat boast that he could say his name using parts of his body (toe, knee and heart)he then said try doing it with your name. Does he know anyone else who can do that?
(Paul Quine, Wed 12 Dec 2001, 4:51, archived)