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Image challenge vote

* The UK in 5 years time
* Three words: The Royal Family
* Nasty greetings cards. Get well soon. Birthdays etc.
* What would Jesus do? Jesus solving everyday problems
* Stupid Telly - shows for IQs less than 60

EDIT: VOTE OVER. YOU CHOSE JESUS. HOORAY FOR CHRIST OUR LORD.
b3ta.com/challenge/whatwouldjesusdo/

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rob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 19:56, archived)

We already have 'Stupid Telly' - it's called ITV

(Ravenous Bugblatter Beast This content may not be working. Please try again., Thu 13 Oct 2011, 19:58, archived)

I think we did greetings cards before (probably about five years ago though). It was a toapfest.

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riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 19:59, archived)

Nothing new there then :)

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Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:19, archived)

I remember voting for it then

and regretting it.

I often tend to be too click happy and I've just done it again and voted for something that I now regret.

So, if you hate whatever wins, chances are I contributed.

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Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:37, archived)

this is how the system is meant to work

vote fast! vote often!

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:55, archived)

~~ITV~~ Telly

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CanonCaliber A big bore, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:27, archived)

Looking forward to the 500th newsletter.

I bet it will have a smashing blouse on.

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cupboardy, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 19:58, archived)

My suggestion for newsletter subject :

Why is your mum like this newsletter?

Both have just reached 5 tons.

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Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:24, archived)

Forgive me for I have sinned.

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cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 19:59, archived)

NONE OF THE ABOVE!

I spoiled my ballot by smearing shit on my screen.

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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 19:59, archived)

It's clearly "What would Jesus do?"

"Stupid Telly" will be people hilariously posting shots of the X Factor and Strictly Come Dancing.

The others would all be good, but clearly "What would Jesus do?" wins it.

VOTE MY WAY, PLEBS.

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 19:59, archived)

I love how the bars so accurately match the numbers ;)

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maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:00, archived)

Don't mock the complex bar-matching algorithm!

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Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:02, archived)

I'm just happy with the pretty colours there are in this week's bars

normally they are boring! Maybe the pretty colours have influenced my voting decision.

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maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:05, archived)

they constantly change, don't they?

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FIEND, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:15, archived)

True, but the colours constantly change with the vote

so if you like a colour, I guess you shouldn't click on it.

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Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:15, archived)

Damn now my vote of Orange has been wasted!!

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maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:20, archived)

greetings cards, definitely

jesus wouldn't do anything, he doesn't exist.

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:00, archived)

heh

you heathen

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rob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:01, archived)

i prefer the term "realist"

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:03, archived)

man, you are so going to hell

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rob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:05, archived)

If it exists

Proving Hull exists is even harder if it wasn't for the fishy smells or is that Grimsby?

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maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:08, archived)

better book a coach

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Clueless Egg Cunt ...of course i'm beach ready!, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:08, archived)

the music is better

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:09, archived)

Wait. Are you posting this from an operating room?

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cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:10, archived)

Probing room probably

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maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:11, archived)

Say hello to our new probing prophets.

She better hope there's no hell. Or that her surgeon isn't a alien. Or something. I'm all messed up over here.

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cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:13, archived)

i fucking should be

however, my surgeon is sick, so the cunts sent me home again. not like they could have phoned me and told me not to come in the first place.

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:13, archived)

Curses! Someone has hell to pay for making you fast for nothing.

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cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:15, archived)

YEAH LET'S KILL MOHAMMED

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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:19, archived)

i'd go all evil dominatrix on them

but i'm far too tired. only had 3 hours of sleep since yesterday :(

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:19, archived)

Yeah but they play all their records backwards

Satan "Hey guys if you play this evil message record backwards it sounds just like Judas Priest!!"

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maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:10, archived)

i can live with that

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:13, archived)

If you think Moon River is bad, wait til you hear it in reverse. Andy Williams is satan.

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cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:16, archived)

that's convenient

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:20, archived)

I just downloaded Moon River

and reversed it. It's amazingly boring - even more so than the right way round. I started playing around adding reverb and a few effects and then asked myself what the fuck I thought I was doing and stopped.

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:23, archived)

great story!

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:39, archived)

I'm nothing if not a brilliant writer

GO AND DOWNLOAD SOME MOTHERFUCKING STORIES

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:40, archived)

Cloverfield had some Reverse Audio easter eggs

www.filmjunk.com/2008/01/21/mysterious-whispers-and-other-easter-eggs-in-cloverfield/

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maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:44, archived)

I've still not watched Cloverfield

I'll get around to it some day. I did, however, watch Frankenfish. That film is aces.

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:46, archived)

I'd strongly suggest you see it

but rather than buy the dvd you're probably better of renting it as it doesn't hold attention beyond the initial viewing very well you might be tempted to watch it a few times initially but after that there isnlt a lot of point which is why I think they included Easter Eggs to have to going back to rewatch.

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maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:55, archived)

I think I shall do just that

In return, you should watch Frankenfish. So long as first get drunk, stoned, or both.

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:59, archived)

in summary

frankenfish: good
cloverfield: utter fucking tosh

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:04, archived)

i like south park's cloverfield piss-take

so i'll watch cloverfield. i have a high tolerance for tosh. even fucking tosh.

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:08, archived)

I haven't got anywhere near stoned my whole life I had a few puffs on a joint of two

in my time but I didn't inhale ;) Drunk I can do although in fairness I get tipsy and giggly but never vomit inducing drunk I hate the feeling when the room spins never going to do that again.

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maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:06, archived)

it's hard to watch a film when the room's spinning around you

giggly drunk is the best condition to watch frankenfish in

(i've never been near stoned in my life either, don't like smoking and never cooked the stuff)

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:08, archived)

Haha. What would you expect.

How did you do it? Some fancy software no doubt.

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cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:41, archived)

Audacity

Piece of piddle. Though I'm running it on a Mac and it got a bunch of Apple-made plugins which is where the reverb came from.

The flashy software would've been Adobe Audition which most people seem to hate but which I really like. Except that I don't have a Mac version and my PC is dead. This update brought to you by Tedious Details inc.

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:45, archived)

Cool. Thanks.

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cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:41, archived)

No problem

If you're on Windows or want to use Wine, I'd actually recommend Goldwave. That's a very nice program.

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 22:04, archived)

If those records are Stone Roses B sides

that means you end up listening to Waterfall and Elephant Stone.

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:14, archived)

youtu.be/th0Yq3cq514

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Clueless Egg Cunt ...of course i'm beach ready!, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:38, archived)

in hell

everyone is hot!

it's like the internet!

only with more hell!

\o/

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:24, archived)

good. i hate being cold.

also, merry candles!

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:26, archived)

ta!

I have just been back from lidl for 30 minutes, I have tortillas and dip.

It's not that great.

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:34, archived)

i have a single can of strongbow

i'm so tired, it'll probably knock me out.

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:35, archived)

I tired too, but I have to say, shopping at this time of night is a lot less stressful

shame I don't live walking distance to a 24 hour place, I get get my "he's not fucking right he is" badge for buying a chicken at 3am

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:37, archived)

when the 24-hour asda opened a couple of miles away

me and my mates piled in there stoned at about 3 a.m, to buy shiny things and munchies. there was a bit of a dawn of the dead vibe about the whole thing.

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:39, archived)

"You never know"

*grins to cctv*

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:41, archived)

i love that bit :)

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:46, archived)

Hey, you're the one who keeps setting competitions encouraging us to mock Jesus.

I'm sure there's an extra special space in Hell being kept warm for you.

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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:18, archived)

That's what the "would" is there for

Same as "What would Pingu do?" and "What would happen if Jean-Luc Picard and a unicorn had buttsex in Pingu's hut?"

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:01, archived)

it's an igloo, you tard, not a hut!

;)

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:03, archived)

The igloo's where he lives

but he has a hut where he sexes

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Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:06, archived)

ahaha

thanks for the save

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:07, archived)

dirty fish-scented slut that he is

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:08, archived)

if he did i imagine he'd be a boring twat anyway

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Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:18, archived)

more than likely

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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:21, archived)

Nasty Greetings Cards...

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The Twisted Omentum vidi vici veni, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:03, archived)

no
no
no
no
no

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atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:03, archived)

THERE'S NOO LIMIIIT!

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FIEND, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:18, archived)

There is a clear lack of graffiti around here.

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atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:57, archived)

Basically any of those

with the words "... with monster trucks" on the end.

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Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:04, archived)

you can do that with any challenge

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:08, archived)

I know

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Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:13, archived)

Then let's fucking GO!

HOO YEAH

Except I don't think I could do anything with a monster truck, but I am fully in favour of the idea.

What would Jesus do if he had to buy some cheese... IN A MONSTER TRUCK?

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:15, archived)

Awww... but Jesus is shit!

Greeting cards! WOOOO!

EDIT: Ho-hum.

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:05, archived)

Quite

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Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:35, archived)

Oh well, I'll spend most of this week getting pissed any way.

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Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:38, archived)

Any particular reason?

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Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:12, archived)

Ha I voted for The royal family

as it had no votes and I can't do the challenge anyway :-p

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FIEND, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:05, archived)

WHAT!!!

HAPPENED TO MONSTER TRUCKS!!!!

Anyway here is Wobblys in depth analysis:
* The UK in 5 years time - "A world ruled my MONSTER TRUCKS!"
* Three words: The Royal Family: "Driving MONSTER TRUCKS!"
* Nasty greetings cards. - "Sorry to hear you were run over by my MONSTER TRUCK!"
* What would Jesus do? "Squish all the baddies in his MONSTER TRUCK!
* Stupid Telly - "Pimp my MONSTER TRUCK!"

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Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:09, archived)

Monster-truckin' mindpiss!

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Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:12, archived)

E Dubya did all those.

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atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:14, archived)

yeah and WHAT ABOUT THIS?

b3ta.com/questions/imagechallenge/post1389833

Ingrates :(

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:16, archived)

punch them in the genitals

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:22, archived)

Something tells me you once received an email about having too many monkeys

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:24, archived)

I remember when it lived on the Red Hat server in a text file

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:30, archived)

I remember when the Red Hat server was all fields

And now? NOW? Concrete, everywhere.

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:35, archived)

click

(herman:D, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 23:08, archived)

Jeebus - haven't got a clue what to do but someone somewhere will get very upset

hopefully

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callmedonny doesn't want to go down to the woods today, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:14, archived)

Cards, please

Jeremy had a big night

BIGGER please
/edit: your all gay (& so's Jesus)

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Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:18, archived)

does he smell worse on the inside?

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:35, archived)

Hah. No, he eats potpourri.

And happy candle day!

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Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:37, archived)

\o/

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:40, archived)

I'll just leave this here and go watch a film or something.

Someday maybe I'll figure out how to get rid of the beard...

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Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:20, archived)

Just to save everyone the bother of pearoasting their images

b3ta.com/challenge/jesusUK/

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Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:25, archived)

tell her you prefer men

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emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:53, archived)

heshejesus

(herman:D, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 23:10, archived)

shesus?

(QuadratischPraktischGut There was coffee. Life would go on., Sat 15 Oct 2011, 6:58, archived)

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Lovecraft tentacles and shit, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:30, archived)

uk in 5 years time...

*googles for images of post war berlin*

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:34, archived)

you're late

current challenges: "What would Jesus do?", "Steve Jobs RIP", that perennial favourite "Naughty Shop Challenge" and the icon mini challenge.

Rob forgot to post a challenge starting thread. And I'm actually working so I don't have the time to knock up something quick and rubbish. Which makes it sound like I'm anything other than another opinionated cunt on the internet who should probably donate again.

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:38, archived)

I had to do some grocery type shopping

I got tinned shit from lidl

nom!

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:51, archived)

I don't have a Lidl nearby :(

I don't think there are any in the country. I think it's illegal to sell food for less than three times its actual worth.

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:58, archived)

don't worry, it's not legally food!

HAHAHA HAHAH*cough*HAHAHA*cough*HAHAHA*splutter*HAHAHAHA*choke*

dead

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:01, archived)

it's quite fitting that in your last dying seconds

you found time to italicise your last word

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:07, archived)

the mortal coil shall egress with it's final flourish before the terminant decresendo

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:09, archived)

for a man who just died you're not half wordy

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:17, archived)

post mortal lexicosis

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discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:42, archived)

that makes sense

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boris the spider, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 22:26, archived)

BEFORE THE THREADRUSH™

nwot, unshopped, etc etc

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drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 20:40, archived)

cock conspiracy

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atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:59, archived)