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# This weeks's newsletter...
needs a subject lol.

Open your minds
and throw me the rinds

Jesus-shit, I am not as good at improvising rhymes as Rob.
(I helped save b3ta! amygdala, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 11:48, archived)
# BOTHA BOTHER; PISTORIA PISSED OFF
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 11:50, archived)
# Unicorns are not horses with cancer,
they are just rhinos that did not get fat.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:37, archived)
#
Open your minds
And throw me the rinds
Cos I'm no good at rhymes
I just ain't got the time
For all this jazz
But I'm no spazz
So din't diss me as
I'll pop a cap up yo' ass
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 11:53, archived)
# See?
You should be doing this!

I'm going to go make a cup of tea and wait for the genius to pour in. As I'm confident it will.
(I helped save b3ta! amygdala, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 11:54, archived)
# ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A CAP UP YO' ASS?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 11:54, archived)
# Well
now you're coming across more like a daytime TV commercial...
(I helped save b3ta! amygdala, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:01, archived)
# Damn it, I thought I was being all street
Ah well
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:06, archived)
# ARE YOU LOOKING AT A CAT UP TEH ASS?
The do love to show off their ringpiece. Cat art.
(I helped save b3ta! Jimvin dropped plates on your arse at, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 14:49, archived)
# Shooting into your inbox like an angry paraplegic.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 11:56, archived)
#
In connection with the recent murder of a South African model, police can confirm that they have now arrested a sawn off man with a shotgun.
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:46, archived)
# haha!
Now i'm stuck for a favourite.
(I helped save b3ta! barnesy, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:49, archived)
# well that was a joke from Facebook so probably doing the rounds
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:51, archived)
# I might be legless but I can still make it to the bathroom
(I helped save b3ta! claptonista ,the idiot boy.........., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 11:56, archived)
# Hull =>
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 11:57, archived)
# hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 11:59, archived)
# I had a few ales after work on Thursday on an empty stomach
I was so pissed I couldn't ride my bike home from the station and had to put it in a taxi
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:26, archived)
# Cheers.
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 13:02, archived)
# LOSE 130g WITH OUR NO-CRABS DIET
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:01, archived)
# RED CARPET AT OSCARS
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:04, archived)
# haha
(I helped save b3ta! DumbMonkey The penis mightier than the sword, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:12, archived)
# Ha-ha!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Howdy, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:26, archived)
# I've only just got that.
OOF!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:36, archived)
# ^this :)
(I helped save b3ta! Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:38, archived)
# bah I was beaten... should have read more thoroughly
you also win the terse war :P nicely.
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:43, archived)
# Hahaha :D
(I helped save b3ta! hekim 66 ɐŹ‡Ęš’ ŹžÉ”nā„² uooW, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:43, archived)
# nope
I seem to be the only one not geting this
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:59, archived)
# aahaaaahaaaa
(I helped save b3ta! Shlvng, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 13:03, archived)
# FP This NAO!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 13:38, archived)
# I hear a noise...
...it's one of dem raids.
I reach next to the bed, slip on me blades.

I pick up me gun, I hear the noise in the loo.
I sprint down the hall, then BAM BAM BOO!

Back to bed but the missus is missing.
I look at me gun, still bloody hissing.

What have done, where can she be?
Cos she ain't here, laid next to me.

That's the story I'll stick to, for the sake of the news.
Insensitive bitch, buying me some shoes...

Fin
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:05, archived)
# haha
you is well better than Pam Ayres innit
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:06, archived)
# heheheheh
laureate
(I helped save b3ta! claptonista ,the idiot boy.........., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:16, archived)
# LANCE ARMSTRONG IN FOOTLESS MURDERER SMOKESCREEN PLOT
(I helped save b3ta! sock more tea vicar?, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:10, archived)
# RELAX: THERE'S NO KUNT AND THE GANG THIS WEEK
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:12, archived)
#
Legless athlete misuses arms.
Benedict XVI's last official wank as Pope.
Lols may contain sub-standard horse jokes
(I helped save b3ta! amygdala, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:15, archived)
# I misread that as 'Legless athlete's missus's arms'
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:18, archived)
# That's
totally my band's new name!
(I helped save b3ta! amygdala, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:21, archived)
# the apostrophe police woud need to put on an extra shift if you got famous
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:25, archived)
# Nah
it's metal - apostrophes are the new umlaut.
(I helped save b3ta! amygdala, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:28, archived)
# groovy
has that term made a comeback yet?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:31, archived)
# All the Hep Cats are using it
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:34, archived)
# I dig
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:34, archived)
# I can't see any out of place apostrophes
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:30, archived)
# not yet, but wait until the teenage fans start facebooking about them!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:31, archived)
# Aaah, I getcha
groovy
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:34, archived)
# Athlete's legs found in lasagne
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:18, archived)
# Hahahahahahaha
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:20, archived)
# Horse DNA found in Marc Almond
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:20, archived)
# Oscar Pistorius, Horsemeat. Oscar Pistorius, Horsemeat. Oscar Pistorius, Horsemeat. Oscar Pistorius, Horsemeat. Oscar Pistorius, Horsemeat. Oscar Pistorius, Horsemeat.
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:20, archived)
# Dying for a piss
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:21, archived)
# limiting your creativity to 100Mb per image arbitrarily
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:22, archived)
# Mb?
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:29, archived)
# We live in the future
Also, my autocomplete kept trying to make me write "Oliver Cromwell" as my subject.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:32, archived)
# haha
100Kb. I need to optimise a bit more! I work with database files so to me 100Mb is microscopic these days!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:32, archived)
# Peter Andre murder suicide happening on the 25th of Feb 2013
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:23, archived)
# with Horsemeat?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:24, archived)
# This isn't a joke
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:38, archived)
# I've cleared my diary for that day
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:40, archived)
# dairy, surely
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:42, archived)
# that does make more sense
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:46, archived)
# Call the police
this is serious
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:47, archived)
# The Police?
Sod that. I'm calling to arrange a celebratory parade and marching band!
(I helped save b3ta! Kerrisis There's someone in my head, but it's not me., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:52, archived)
# You will be an accessory to murder if you don't report this to the police
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:57, archived)
# shall I tell them to bring some beer and pizza?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:53, archived)
# "Sticks and stones break bones, but the gat'll kill you quicker Especially when I'm drunk off the liquor " Pistorious B.I.G. Lyric
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:28, archived)
# "Sticks and stones may break your bones so get out of the bathroom bitch or I'll fucking shoot you, I swear to God"
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:33, archived)
# Pope Protects Paedophiles Perennially, Paralympian Pitorius Pops Playmate, Prancing Ponies Pervade Pancakes
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:34, archived)
# P-p-p-p-ick up a penguin
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:35, archived)
# Hamtoucher.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:37, archived)
# Reena Steenkamp not cold yet Sicko Americans plan Oscar's Ceremony
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:42, archived)
# And the Oscar goes to.... Prison
(bigwasteofspace Quality control settings on low, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 12:44, archived)
# The latest newsletter
Have I done this right?
(I helped save b3ta! DinivanX Has stinging piss after drinking Pact Coffee, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 13:00, archived)
# South African remake of Footloose ends in tragedy
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 13:01, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! arrangedletters, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 13:17, archived)
# Hahahahaha
(Colostomy Bag Explosion Lubing the gears of commercialism, Fri 22 Feb 2013, 13:18, archived)