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# Public Service Announcement
Listen up b3ta-blokes - this is dynamite. I was on the tube at lunch having picked up a copy of ‘Computer Arts’ for me and a copy of ‘Junior – pregnancy & Birth’ for the missus. I sat on the Northern Line leafing through ‘Junior – pregnancy & Birth’ when a pair of (exceptionally hot) girls opposite me caught my eye. They were both looking at me with dreamy grins on their faces. All three of us got off at Moorgate and on the elevator the brunette asked me when it was due, I told her August and that it was going to be a boy. They both looked especially gooey at this and the other girl then replied ‘I hope he gets your looks’. I was dumbfounded!!! Though turned into a mumbling fiend till we went our separate ways at the barriers. Lads – get out there and get a copy of a baby magazine, chicks dig it……it also occurred to me that you could say that the imminent arrival is your sister’s/friend’s and you wanted to find out what to expect. I didn’t do this. Yet.

/Silly Chicken
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:06, archived)
# ahem
www.b3ta.com/board/1301889
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:07, archived)
# consider me spanked....
...I couldn't keep it to myself and consider threadjacking to be the height of rudeness ;o)
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:08, archived)
# that's no threadwaste
(I helped save b3ta! Mond, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:09, archived)
# That's no bong
it's a pump for my schlong
(I helped save b3ta! .90Nz0., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:15, archived)
# no

it's my bicycle pump
(I helped save b3ta! Mond, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:17, archived)
# Screw or Pin?
what type?
(I helped save b3ta! .90Nz0., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:19, archived)
# uh
(Clockwork, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:09, archived)
# indeed
well done that man.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:09, archived)
# not every text-only thread
is a threadwaste. This would be a very sterile place with no text threads.
(I helped save b3ta! supermoore: HUNG, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:10, archived)
# well said
that man. at what point did everyone decide we couldn't talk bollocks on here?
(I helped save b3ta! stouffer, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:10, archived)
# yeh it could be interesting
i just like posting my pretty paintmash
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:12, archived)
# aye, but
if that's all that was posted it would be pretty dull no?
(I helped save b3ta! stouffer, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:16, archived)
# i know
threadwastes get the best reaction
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:19, archived)
# Yep
nout wrong with a text post if it's interesting. Like that one was. Yay for text posts.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:11, archived)
# insert plays on words involving sex here
====>
(martian, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:12, archived)
# the joy of text?
I want to text you up?
let's talk about text baby?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:14, archived)
# i've got a massive cock
that one needs a bit of work...
(martian, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:15, archived)
# Will you marry me?
If you don't, I'll lie, I'll cheat, I'll do anything!
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:19, archived)
# hahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:21, archived)
# Your cock
needs a bit of work? Check your email, there'll be something to help you there no doubt
(Demon-boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:21, archived)
# They are riddled with double-standards.
I love it!!
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:11, archived)
# guys? chicks? heavy metal all over the place?
have I entered some kind of bizarre time warp?
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:08, archived)
# Are you Roy Orbison?
;)
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:20, archived)
# d'you know
I think I might be
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:28, archived)
# Well be careful.
I think they've rearranged the furniture.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:35, archived)
# OHHHHH MY GOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/me goes out to buy a copy.
(I helped save b3ta! .90Nz0., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:08, archived)
# The sister things is the way to do it
I don't think chicks would dig the "yeah I'm about to have a baby with my wife. Can I come over you tits?" approach

Edit:I'm going to change my approach.
(I helped save b3ta! Mond, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:08, archived)
# I found
that works a treat
(I helped save b3ta! groovegenerator The man who mistook his wife for his wife, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:09, archived)
# that'd work
in doncaster.
(martian, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:09, archived)
# perhaps me and lora
can try it some time
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:09, archived)
# Just wait
till you carry your little one down the street - you will have more attention than you can poke a stick at - infact you will be fighting them off
(I helped save b3ta! @man move along, nothing to see here on, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:11, archived)
# take little one to playground
that works too, loads of mums hang round looking for potential mates, see!
(I helped save b3ta! mookid, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:22, archived)
# saucy!
See I would be scared to chat up a bloke with a baby cos you think, ok either it's his or he's using it to pull!
(funkylins, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:12, archived)
# yes
but aren't those little ones so cute awww look at his pudgy little legs etc etc
(I helped save b3ta! @man move along, nothing to see here on, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:15, archived)
# try what?!
and your willy doesn't work anyway..
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:12, archived)
# yeh
but i think lots of sperm donors are ready
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:14, archived)
# and what
am i meant to do for fun?!
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:15, archived)
# wank?
(I helped save b3ta! stouffer, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:17, archived)
# works for me
(martian, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:17, archived)
# well yeah, short term maybe..
but for the rest of my life?!
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:19, archived)
# wank
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:21, archived)
# again, works
for martian.
(I helped save b3ta! stouffer, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:22, archived)
# ooh, cheeky.
No doubt I will have much chance to test said theory anyhow
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:23, archived)
# raise them
ill work with the money i get after acing my alevels
(I helped save b3ta! Sunshine Elephant, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:17, archived)
# Oh doesn't it?
Have you tried banging it on your forehead? It usually works.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:14, archived)
# 'tis true
I spent a happy afternoon with a friends 3 year old round Camden. So many girls stopped me and had a chat. Babies = lady magent.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:09, archived)
# and puppies according to my brother.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:11, archived)
# puppies?
Sorry I thought girls came fitted with those already?


/midlands slang
(I helped save b3ta! Razor What the fuck - a sig?, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:13, archived)
# Midlands slang?
It is used heavily in the world of Sports Enteertainment....i.e. Wrestling.


"Oh my god King! You can see her puppies!"
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:23, archived)
# Well that's me screwed
or rather not screwed. I hate kids.
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:14, archived)
# i'll have to remember that
*rushes off to newsagent*
(I helped save b3ta! Reverend Dan, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:09, archived)
# i often
take my nephew out and thrust him towards attractive ladies. they normally just look a bit confused and move away though.
(I helped save b3ta! stouffer, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:09, archived)
# That's because your nephew
is 23.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:11, archived)
# mmph
(Clockwork, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:12, archived)
# Bwa ha ha ha!!
(I helped save b3ta! gingerbenji wrote a book http://goo.gl/8UiGjd, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:14, archived)
# ahhhahaha!
that really made me laugh lots. 8D
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:27, archived)
# probably think
you've stolen him.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:11, archived)
# and i'm drunk and
shouting incoherently whilst the poor little chap just looks a bit scared.
(I helped save b3ta! stouffer, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:14, archived)
# Both these replies....
...made me giggle like a loon
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:14, archived)
# Sorry mate.
I'm bad, but I'm not that bad.
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:09, archived)
# pah!
why weren't they interested in computer arts?!
(I helped save b3ta! rogan, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:11, archived)
# they should but babies on the cover
sales would sky rocket.

*phones future publishing*
Rob: Listen! I've got a great idea!
FP: Er.. This is future publishing. Who would you like to talk to?
ROB: YOU'VE GOT TO PUT BABIES ON YOUR MAGAZINE COVER
FP: Er.. *click*
ROB: OR KITTENS.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:13, archived)
# a bit like when the star puts britney on the cover with the headline
"britney in nude photo shock!". computer arts could have a kitten on the cover to illustrate an article about... i don't know... CAT software...
(martian, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:17, archived)
# and
they always have 'anger at fake pics' in really tiny writing. i imagine.
(I helped save b3ta! stouffer, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:19, archived)
# Mind
the piss
(I helped save b3ta! wayward., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:20, archived)
# Haha! I love it when they do that
and then it says 'Star's anger over fake pics' in tiny tiny writing.
(I helped save b3ta! wayward., Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:19, archived)
# The fools
they'll never learn.




NEVER!
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Mon 2 Jun 2003, 16:23, archived)