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# 20th Century Cunts Advent Calendar, day 1

more, for the benefit of thickies

TOMORROW: A current head of state who's banned beards
(I helped save b3ta! dotmund .co.uk, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:00, archived)
# yes,
woo and telling it how it was yay!
(I helped save b3ta! Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:02, archived)
# Yeah what a bastard
We'd still be fighting the japs if we hadn't nuked 'em.
(I helped save b3ta! the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:03, archived)
# we'd easily win, all those Japanese soldiers would be about 80 now!
(I helped save b3ta! dotmund .co.uk, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:04, archived)
# what the hell
they were asking for it man
(I helped save b3ta! the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:05, archived)
# They were suing for peace
Truman just wanted to try out their shiny new weapon.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:27, archived)
# Wel it cost quadrillions in todays money
It was more expensive than the entire manned space program to date!
How could he have justified the expense to congress ...
"Well, We spent a huge fortune developing this weapon.. and... er... we didn't use it"
(I helped save b3ta! coder.keitaro I like pies!, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 11:19, archived)
# but we'd have knackered them by creating
a pensions crisis worse than ours!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:06, archived)
# 'Ning Dave

(strangly that's one of my autocompletes)
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:08, archived)
# *shrugs*
'ning


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:11, archived)
# Hooray
We HEART u Dave

(I helped save b3ta! the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:10, archived)
# apparently not . . .
www.b3ta.com/board/5385961


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:11, archived)
# it's an
outrage!
(I helped save b3ta! the RAND corporation a.k.a. Kevin Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:13, archived)
# its true
(I helped save b3ta! Mr Gimpson Wolfguts, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:11, archived)
# Hahahahaaaaa!
*feels self up*


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:12, archived)
# hahahaha
DTH has lady bumps!
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:13, archived)
# and one inch less penis!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:15, archived)
# his lumps, his lumps,
his lovely lady lumps.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:15, archived)
# Hey!
Gefrroff 'em! I haven't finished . . .


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:21, archived)
# grrr
The Black eyed peas started off so well. Now their stuff is just generic crap.
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:23, archived)
# Good God, whats happened to Fran?
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:14, archived)
# Morning Boys!
*wiggles*


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:15, archived)
# please do not post pictures like that...
i now have tea all over my monitor and the pile of shit important work documents on my desk
(LargeDoner, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:23, archived)
# GHEYER!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:24, archived)
# I am strangely aroused though
*goes to the store room for "some pens"*
(LargeDoner, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:29, archived)
# you forgot an i in the last word there
(I helped save b3ta! The little pink animal is mostly harmless, except on, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:51, archived)
# Oooh a reason to log on early
me likey!
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:03, archived)
# Woo!
*hopes I'm number 24*


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:07, archived)
# What a grand idea
christmassy AND edumacational.

Woo and Yay!
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:07, archived)
# Dear Down on the Farm,
I saw your '20th Century Cunts Advent Calendar', although I feel that the use of the word 'cunts' is completely unnecessary and could be replaced with the word 'rotters' or something similar, I did enjoy your fact on Harry S. Truman, it made me laugh very much.

Best regards,
(I helped save b3ta! The Duke of Prunes, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:09, archived)
# My Dearest Duke of Prunes,
It is with consternation and trepidation that I write, fearing your legendary wrath. However, I would be grateful if you could explain the origins of the new "formal letter" style of posting.
I enjoy it very much.

Yours sincerely,

Wasp Box
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:12, archived)
# See above.
See below.

Regards


(I helped save b3ta! mugatu, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:14, archived)
# Dear Waspbox,
Thank you for your enquiry in regard to the origins of the new "formal letter" style of posting. This new style started yesterday evening (Wed 30 Nov, 2005) at 19:55, I was having a problem with a cup of tea that I made. Please find enclosed the original letter, I hope this answers your question.

www.b3ta.com/board/5383848

If you have any further enquiries please you not hesitiate to contact me again.

Regards,
(I helped save b3ta! The Duke of Prunes, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:21, archived)
# Your Lordship,
I am humbled by your rapid and thorough response, and also grateful that we didn't have to through the whole "off with his head" thing again.

I ever remain your faithful minion,
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:33, archived)
# Dear Duke Of Prunes
whilst I acknowledge the strength of the wording for the entry for Mr. Truman, I am mindful of the full list of 24 I have before me. In order to be consistent, I need to use "cunts" to prevent complaints that Josef Mengele wasn't just a bounder.

Sincerely etc.
(I helped save b3ta! dotmund .co.uk, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:17, archived)
# Dear Down on the Farm,
Thank you for your reply to my letter and the explanation for your use of the word 'cunts'. I now fully understand your applictation of the word 'cunts'.

Many thanks,


(I helped save b3ta! The Duke of Prunes, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:27, archived)
# Woo
But he wasn't as bad as Jimmy Fucking Carter!
(Reverend Creepy, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:10, archived)
# Wasnt he supermans side kick?
(I helped save b3ta! Cocodaye Miasere likes chips and peas, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:19, archived)
# *pictures little jimmy osmond bum raping michael caine's greatest screen character*
*goes to make Tea instead*
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:21, archived)
# Thats wonderful! - woo sir!
and have probably my only post of the day due to busy times ahead for the next few hours...

Mr Cadbury and Ms Rowntree...

Mr Cadbury and Ms Rowntree met on a coach journey. It was
After Eight.
She was from Quality Street; he was a Fisherman's Friend. On
the way they stopped at a Yorkie Bar, he had a Rum & Butter and had a
Wine Gum.

He asked her name. Polo, I'm the one with the hole, she said. I'm the one with the Nuts, he thought.
Then he touched her Milky Way.

They checked into a hotel and went straight to the bedroom.
Mr Cadbury turned out the light for a bit of Black Magic. It wasn't long before he slipped his hand into her Snickers and felt the contrast of her Double Decker. Then he showed her his Curly Wurly.

Ms Rowntree wasn't keen to have any more Jelly Babies, so she let him take a trip down Bourneville Boulevard. He was pleased as he always fancied a bit of Fudge.

It was a Magic Moment as she let out a scream of Turkish Delight.
When he came out his Fun Sized Mars Bar felt a bit Crunchie.
She wanted more but he decided to take Time Out. However, he noticed her Pink Wafers looked very appetising...So he did a Twirl, had a Picnic in her Sherbet and gave her a Gob Stopper.

Unfortunately Mr Cadbury then had to go home to his wife, Caramel.
Sadly, he was soon to discover he had caught V.D. It turns out Ms
Rowntree had been with All Sorts....

and not a Tunnocks bar in sight.
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:10, archived)
# hahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:12, archived)
# Arf!
I bet he ended up with a black jack . . .


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:14, archived)
# Harry's
looking a bit gobsmacked.
(Rogue Sausage, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:10, archived)
# this looks like it could be fantastical
but a hell of a lot of work for you /:
(I helped save b3ta! amon - hooray :D, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:11, archived)
# good series in perspective
yay
(I helped save b3ta! oCo, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:13, archived)
# now this I like! Woo
(I helped save b3ta! mugatu, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:14, archived)
# Woo to your drawering skills !
*looks forward to series*
(I helped save b3ta! rabbitz, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:17, archived)
# Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie! Dottie!
yay!
(I helped save b3ta! Reckless_Rik, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:19, archived)
# woooo
tis v v good,
we need mooOOORRRrreeee !
(I_am_B, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:33, archived)
# PATIENCE!
one a day until xmas
(I helped save b3ta! dotmund .co.uk, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:52, archived)
# heh,
nice and ranty.
(I helped save b3ta! harpski, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 10:40, archived)
# woohoo!
That is splendid, i await the joyous Turkmenbashi onslaught tomorrow captain!
at ease
(I helped save b3ta! mushybees NEBUSHI SHANGHUNG!, Thu 1 Dec 2005, 11:18, archived)