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# I've just got off the phone with Steven Spielberg.
We were discussing my new film. Here is a piece of concept art for it.

It's working title is 'The Confounding Adventures of Steven Seagal is Holding a Big Gun and Being Shot At by a Helicopter with Feet as he Jumps his Flaming Monster Truck over a Ravine in which a Robot with a Pie for a Hand is Shooting At Him with Eye Lasers and there is also an Explosion over on the Left for No Good Reason, and there are also some Parachuters and a Very Tall Banana'.

You may also notice that there is a penguin in a top hat in the corner doing a trick on his skateboard, but this has been cut from the final script.
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:54, archived)
# Penguins!
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:55, archived)
# Oooh!
*waits for extended dvd release*

*woos*
(I helped save b3ta! Weetobix, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:55, archived)
# It's missing RAPEBEAR
...
(I helped save b3ta! Grampa, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:56, archived)
# that made me laugh a lot
(I helped save b3ta! Milkman Dan, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:04, archived)
# haha
i love that :) and woo to pic too.
(I helped save b3ta! monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:08, archived)
# is that RoboZippy?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:56, archived)
# definitely a winner
*waits for tie in computer game*
(I helped save b3ta! Milkman Dan, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:56, archived)
# Best title for a film ever
woo yay the pic
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:56, archived)
# *waits to see if they make a sequel before buying it*
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:57, archived)
# it's like the new oatibix ad
I'd prefer if they kept the original name

that would be ace
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:00, archived)
# yes I saw that
what was it called?
(I helped save b3ta! Milkman Dan, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:02, archived)
#
notmadewithwheatmadewithoatibix

or near enough. I think that's the best name for it. I'd keeping going in to shops to ask where they kept it.
(I helped save b3ta! jentulman carnt spel, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:04, archived)
# Confounding Adventures IV will be the best
by a long chalk.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:02, archived)
# oh my god
the weirdness-o-meter just went off the scale.

*woo*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:56, archived)
# What a load of crap!
how can you justify cutting the penguin?

He *makes* the film.
(imnotplayinganymore Like a rock. Like a planet., Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:56, archived)
# It'll be an extra on the 'Special Edition' 8 Disc DVD
You Mark my Words...

Ace pic!
(I helped save b3ta! Spenface ALWAYS hangs in the Buffalo Stance, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:57, archived)
# 10/10
sorry
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:58, archived)
# Pfft!
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:00, archived)
# Full Marks... Yay!
Ia m Musch Cleverist thann evree1
(I helped save b3ta! Spenface ALWAYS hangs in the Buffalo Stance, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:01, archived)
# Yes, but you let yourself down a little there, I feel. :)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:02, archived)
# *Cough*
I Do apologise Gentle-sir.. I seem to have come over all 'street'
(I helped save b3ta! Spenface ALWAYS hangs in the Buffalo Stance, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:07, archived)
# *in Rob Newmans' 'Jarvis' voice* Ohhhh God..........
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:12, archived)
# Can you See into My Mind...
Arggghhh
*Sings song in head to avoid thinking 3 of 9 Pin 1 Number 1*
(I helped save b3ta! Spenface ALWAYS hangs in the Buffalo Stance, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:17, archived)
# Something to do with the American Actors guild, I reckon.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:58, archived)
# I blame Speilberg.
It's been replaced by a bearded tortoise with wheels instead of legs. Directors have no respect for us scriptwriters.
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:58, archived)
# LASER EYES
for the win!
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:57, archived)
# my friend in marketing had a real phone interview with him last week
he said it was crap, because he said Segal was too busy tuning his guitar to pay any attention
to the questions :) i've never really been a fan anyways

wow i'm in a talkative mood today
or should that be lonely....
:(
(I helped save b3ta! Ironman tetsuo Back once again with the renegade mastah!, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:57, archived)
# OMG he must have been like so 'hello?'
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:58, archived)
# That's a very davew27 response.....
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:00, archived)
# I'm not davew27
you must be thinking of davew27
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:02, archived)
# Ah, that'd be it. Thanks for clearing that up for me.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:05, archived)
# he should go into comedy...
... he was in that shit film with Ja Rule in 2003 and he was like an animatronics puppet... the old fucker! I'd take him!



but thats cos i'm dead hard, an' that!
(I helped save b3ta! likeajackhammer, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:03, archived)
# noooooooooooooooo!
you can't cut the penguin!
lovely stuff :)
(I helped save b3ta! eclectech is older but no wiser, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:57, archived)
# You're making a big mistake leaving out the penguin.
Penguins draw in a pretty big crowd, and last years customer survey said that people were really eager to see more penguins on skateboards on the big screen.
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:58, archived)
# love it!
(I helped save b3ta! likeajackhammer, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:58, archived)
# now there's a movie i'd watch!
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Johnson, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:58, archived)
# I for one
would go to see that*

*unless Speilberg is directing it himself, in which case I wouldn't.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 14:58, archived)
# ANTI-SEMITIC!
(I helped save b3ta! likeajackhammer, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:01, archived)
# Bah, semantics.
(I helped save b3ta! Grampa, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:02, archived)
# is that the name of his new fillum?

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:04, archived)
# If it got penguins in it'll be a box office
....which will be rather strange to morph from a film into a box office.
(you're all a bunch of twats anyway, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:01, archived)
# You cant cut the skateboarding penguin
He's the heart of the film dammit!

Without the penquin the (assumed) scene with Scarlett Johanssen and the bottle of baby oil wont make sense...
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:02, archived)
# I bet it gets renamed
to Steven Seagal takes LSD on a motherfucking plane.
(I helped save b3ta! fross Read your email on, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:04, archived)
# I'd pay good money to see that
Saw Bond on Saturday, pretty goddamned sweet if you ask me (although I note nobody did).

One thing though, the penguin's skateboard reminds me of a gherkin.
(I helped save b3ta! M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Tue 21 Nov 2006, 15:14, archived)