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# Some random 20s lady
(I helped save b3ta! PopePollo defloculating the soup of the surreal, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:18, archived)
# she looks like she has spunk.
And possibly moxy.
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:19, archived)
# And one can but admire
the cut of her jib, what what.
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:20, archived)
# What ho!
Jolly good, pip-pip!
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:41, archived)
# I wish I had pshop
to gmos that up a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:19, archived)
# GAGH!
Why are they allgmosingahkhakhakbluergh
(I helped save b3ta! PopePollo defloculating the soup of the surreal, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:20, archived)
# LOBSTER!
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:32, archived)
# more lobster
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:33, archived)
# It still hurts
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:34, archived)
# hello
*waves*
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:34, archived)
# Hello!
*hugs*

How was friday?
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:36, archived)
# I thought i was going to be ok
but when they brought the coffin in they started playing My way.

fucking hell, tears streaming down my face!

the whole thing was nice, sad but nice.

by about 8pm my gran was pissed out of her head.
singing and dancing round her living room.
my uncle sat on the couch watching her, tears running freely.
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:39, archived)
# :(
Sounds like a grand send off though
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:41, archived)
# "my way" on the way in
and "bring me sunshine" on the way out.

my mum even done the dance on the way up the aisle

=D
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:42, archived)
# hahaha
excellent stuff

(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:45, archived)
# it was a proud moment
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:47, archived)
# :)
Let it all out, says I.
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:41, archived)
# :o
just wanted a title smiley.
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:42, archived)
# :U
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:42, archived)
# :&
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:43, archived)
# :~²,
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:45, archived)
# that's a specialist one, right there!
it's a man who, half way through shaving his luxuriant moustache (has done the right hand side, not the left), gives a slight smile.
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:49, archived)
# my gran didn't cry much
but i think that's just a generation thing.
she was really sad
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:43, archived)
# You sure she wasn't just being stoic?
The elderly are good at that
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:45, archived)
# yeah, that's what i was saying
she was sad but she wasn't letting it show.

instead of crying she just drank lots of whiskey

god i'm proud
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:46, archived)
# :)
You got good genes
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:47, archived)
# don't i know it
=D
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:48, archived)
# *hugs*
*really really hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Debbilgrrrrl is kinda back, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:47, archived)
# *really really likes it*
thank you
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:49, archived)
# :)
I need hugs too

*keeps hugging*
(I helped save b3ta! Debbilgrrrrl is kinda back, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:49, archived)
# *hugs back*
*really hard*
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:53, archived)
# *likewises*
*and goes mmmmm a bit*
(I helped save b3ta! Debbilgrrrrl is kinda back, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:54, archived)
# haha
i was thinking that too.

mmmmm

*rocks side to side a bit*
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:58, archived)
# mmmmmmmm ^this
that's good huggin'!

careful now that it doesn't develop into something else .....
(I helped save b3ta! Debbilgrrrrl is kinda back, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 15:00, archived)
# *engorges*
pardon?
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 15:01, archived)
# *feels prod*
aw, what the hell ... grief-sex? No one will see this far off the edge of the board ....
(I helped save b3ta! Debbilgrrrrl is kinda back, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 15:03, archived)
# *humps rampantly*
=D
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 15:15, archived)
# Get a room!
Here, use mine, and ignore that camera...
(I helped save b3ta! Heffrey wants to show you his wood at SmileMoon.etsy.com, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 15:22, archived)
# *manly hugs too*
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:50, archived)
# with hard pats on the back?
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:53, archived)
# cow pats
(I helped save b3ta! Debbilgrrrrl is kinda back, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:58, archived)
# you're so childish!
*pulls pigtails and runs away*
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 15:02, archived)
# absolutly.
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 15:00, archived)
# i am all of teh consoled
much appreciated matey.

have you told the wife you're in love with me yet?
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 15:02, archived)
# "So you're a Lobster huh? And what exactly are you lobstering against?"
"What've you pot?"
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:34, archived)
# LOBSTERS DO NOT NEED BOATS
AS SUCH THEY ARE AN ENEMY OF THE BRITISH EMPIRE.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:40, archived)
# M A J I K !
+ woo yeah!
(I helped save b3ta! Zank Frappa Who let the lefties in?, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 15:05, archived)
# She could also be successfully Nerys-ed,
I feel.
With sexy results.
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:21, archived)
# YES!
Nerys Molesthes
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:29, archived)
# I think the resemblance is already startling.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:22, archived)
# I grow to love you more every moment that passes
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:30, archived)
# ohhh
fierce!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:20, archived)
# She has rather sturdy legs
and a most peeved demure. What on earth has upset her?
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:20, archived)
# Tom Buchanan stood her up
And has gone back to court Daisy
(I helped save b3ta! PopePollo defloculating the soup of the surreal, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:22, archived)
# That figures.
That bastard Tom.
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:27, archived)
# we'll get him on the way back to his car tonight.
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:30, archived)
# Someone said she has sturdy legs
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:22, archived)
# *slaps thighs*
Int nowt wrong with that.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:24, archived)
# absolutely not.
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:25, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:28, archived)
# *hypnotised*
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:35, archived)
# Not at all
but it's hardly the most flattering compliment to pay a woman.

Her doe-like eyes, bee-stung lips and natty dress sense might have been preferable topics of conversation.
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:26, archived)
# Or her Harry Potter socks?
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:28, archived)
# mmmmmm
thigh-high socks are always a good idea.

(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:29, archived)
# not if you suffer from putrifacting eczema of the calves
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:31, archived)
# or have no legs
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:31, archived)
# Dawwwwww, Lump, yawl damn dawg, you aint got no leygs!
Sorry, Joe Cartoon moment.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:32, archived)
# I knew you'd be able to find an exception
Men with hairy legs also look a bit odd in thigh-highs
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:31, archived)
# what about women with hairy legs?
(I helped save b3ta! swaza I'm bad, I'm bad. You know it. I'm bad., Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:40, archived)
# Aren't all women entirely hairless on their legs?
I thought it was natural - like the way their hair is naturally always perfectly quaffed.
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:48, archived)
# as long as they're not some sythetic polyester....
makes me come out in an awful rash....
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:31, archived)
# I'd prefer it over 'feeble'.
Although if anyone called me feeble looking they'd need their eyes testing.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:29, archived)
# I had a chap tell me I had child-bearing hips once
thinking it was a compliment.

Bless his tiny mind.
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:33, archived)
# Same here.
No, honestly.
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:35, archived)
# Hahahaha
Dare I ask what confused him?
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:36, archived)
# Nowt
Just that I do have rather large hips.

In my confused early teenage years I played with the idea that my parents had forced a sex change on me as a baby.
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:39, archived)
# it'd explain some stuff certainly
=D
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:41, archived)
# Well, that scar thing on a bloke's nutsack and taint doesn't do much to quell these fears
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:44, archived)
# The raphe?
Does look like a scar now you mention it.

In my early years (well, like between 9 and 11) I got so confused by the diagrams in books for about two years I thought I didn't have a vagina. I was very, very scared.
(I helped save b3ta! Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 15:11, archived)
# Haha, yay teenage paranoia
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:44, archived)
# I didn't think so.
*thinks back*

No, I definitely didn't think so.

I did think 'nice pants'.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:36, archived)
# My love handles hide them currently.
Oh and thanx, I like em too :D
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:40, archived)
# I fucking love you.
For some reason that post has got the B52s in my head.

*dances around like a pillock*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:41, archived)
# My loooove sack's in a little old place
We can pet together
Love sack baby
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:43, archived)
# *shimmies*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:44, archived)
#
www.b3ta.com/board/7432084
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:47, archived)
# And with good reason.
*turns off Paul McKenna tape*

Now, what to do with a 6ft skinhead bilingual who has *raids* 4 and a bit Euro and a packet of mints....
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:48, archived)
# are you sure it wasn't just
"you have bare hips"?
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:36, archived)
# Followed by "Please get out of this kindergarten".
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:38, archived)
# ah no you're right
It was "you have a child bear's hips"
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:40, archived)
# Oh, believe me, I've been there!
Ah, I don't care. My hips are the least of my worries- it's the arse attached to them that's far too large.

Although two rasta type blokes did go mental over it this morning (in true Mixalot style) so I'm actually liking my arse today.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:35, archived)
# hooray!
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:40, archived)
# Awesome
Be proud of your femininity :)
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:40, archived)
# :D
I do do a good Caribbean woman 'really fast arse shaking' thing.

*sweeps SSS up and takes her for a frabjious ride amongst the stars*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:45, archived)
# Ahahaha ace
Hang on a sec...

*dons dancing shoes*
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:47, archived)
# Men are conditioned by evolution to find wide hips attractive
despite what the fashion industry tells us.

So in essence it was a compliment.

But I can see that it was a pretty rubbish one.
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:35, archived)
# I like my hips, they are curvetastic
especially in skirts.

I was 17 at the time and a lot more impressionable though. The best bit was his genuine surprise that I was offended.
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:38, archived)
# sss
hips
curvetastic


*thinks*

are you sure?
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:40, archived)
# One hundred percent......
(I helped save b3ta! SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:42, archived)
# I once got told that I'd "scrub up ok".
She melted me with that one.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:37, archived)
# I talk like people's grandmas, so I find it hard to be sexy.
Case in point- manwife getting ready to go out yersterday.

Me, his wife, the woman he sexes: 'Ooooh, don't you look handsome!'
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:38, archived)
# Did you pinch his cheek
and give him a toffee?
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:40, archived)
# No, I believe I carried on smoking.
I can't do long shows of excitement.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:42, archived)
# I find those half-hearted compliments nicer than the direct ones
I guess I'm just distrustful of flattery.
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:39, archived)
# that's because your so great
oh, and you can have your wallet back, there wasn't much in it

:)
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:50, archived)
# That's £3.42 I won't see again in a hurry
(I helped save b3ta! chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:56, archived)
# barely a full spec trip to mcdonalds
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 15:11, archived)
# You're too good at drawing.
Ed: Her forearms frighten me though.
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:20, archived)
# pfft
rubbish. The proportions are all wrong for a start, and I'm crap at doing any dynamic poses.

On the other hand, I don't spend half my waking hours drawing nubile squirrels

*doffs cap for JollyJack*
(I helped save b3ta! PopePollo defloculating the soup of the surreal, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:23, archived)
# YOU SHOULD TOTALLY GIVE HER A BOAT.
CHICKS NEED BOATS TOO.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:36, archived)
# BOAT BOET BOOT ?
A life on the ocean waves
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:46, archived)
# BOATS!
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:50, archived)
# let's boat!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:51, archived)
# dat's messin' wi' ma brain
(I helped save b3ta! Guff McFlange Yes, but can it be made out of Lego?, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:53, archived)
# aye
such vigorous cranial shaking will have that effect

speaking of which, what the fuck? http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/07/23/french_no_brainer/
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 15:01, archived)
# cor that's good
much better than the deformed emo wummin I drew

:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 23 Jul 2007, 14:40, archived)