b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » XXX » Message 84251 (Thread)

# hello everybody,
Does anyone know an easy way to let my 3 yr old daughter know about the facts of mortality?
Both her goldfish died unexpectedly today, at the ripe old age of five days old.
Tried the cork idea, but she would notice the smell.
She really loved them too, and will be heartbroken and I can't tell her fibs, as she is a very intelligent 3yr old.
/sobs into hands
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 8 May 2002, 19:54, archived)
# can't you try and wire them up to
a lamp or something and revive them in a Fishkenstein stylee?
(Nacho, Wed 8 May 2002, 19:57, archived)
# Better still
Use a couple of corks.
(I helped save b3ta! gfreeman is only here for the beer, Wed 8 May 2002, 19:58, archived)
# tried that,
they just went black and crispy.
tasted much better tho', thanks!!
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 8 May 2002, 20:03, archived)
# When I was little
and my goldfish died, we had fish-pie for tea. I'm still traumatised by my parents lack of understanding..
Don't do that, or your little girl might end up like me..
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:13, archived)
# I remember reading some column-thingie
where the writer said that when her grandpa died, her father came to her room that night and said "death is like going to sleep and never waking up" and then... TURNED OUT THE BEDROOM LIGHT and left her there...
I would suggest that this is not a good option. BTW tomsk's idea up there was mine. Just sayin'.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 8 May 2002, 21:55, archived)
# Just switch the fish...
.....and then tell her that they had to go and visit Santa for a night, or something.
(I helped save b3ta! routine has perfected burgers, Wed 8 May 2002, 19:58, archived)
# no, was one option,
but that's it as far as pets are concerned.
They either die, or if we get hungry, we end up cooking them.
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 8 May 2002, 20:01, archived)
# Tell her they'll be happy
in Goldfish heaven, she doesn't need to worry about whether God exists or not yet.
(tomsk, Wed 8 May 2002, 19:58, archived)
# But what if...
they land up in goldfish hell? Who knows what kinds of evil they've been exposed to in a b3tan's household?
(Kimbo, Wed 8 May 2002, 21:57, archived)
# try this:
fear death

the end of existance
imagine being asleep, when you wake you cant remember anything from that time (apart from dreams, but when you dont, its like you've not existed for 8 hours)
imagine that. Without waking up.

ever.
the world continues, you are no longer a part of it. time may as well accelerate to infinity. reality will collapse and the entire universe will cease to exist. you were only a part of it for the tiniest fraction of a second.
What influence did you have on the shape of the universe?

none.

whats the point of life?

there is none.

(ok on second thoughts, better not say that)

how about this....

they went to heaven?
(I helped save b3ta! DaWolfey, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:00, archived)
# Or bludgeon them both with a veal tenderiser....
...in front of her. Casually pick them up and swallow them and and then explain about how cattle farms work and ask if she wants any more fish for the farm?
(I helped save b3ta! routine has perfected burgers, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:02, archived)
# another good one,
but (as we used to live westcountry way) she thinks all cows die by being stacked in a pile and burnt to ashes.
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 8 May 2002, 20:06, archived)
# then stick it
on a mini-pyre
may smell though
(I helped save b3ta! rockyrobin, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:16, archived)
# i see you follow the same philosophy as myself.
Reveal the full horrors of the world and life, no sugar coating.
(I helped save b3ta! DaWolfey, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:08, archived)
# think I'll go with that first option,
she'll understand.
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 8 May 2002, 20:07, archived)
# Can't really give any constructive advice
but you could flush them down the toilet in front of her and say they deserve it cos they had been really naughty. She won't misbehave for the next couple of years if she thinks that's what might happen to her. (not insinuating that MiniPizza is naughty though)
(Nacho, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:01, archived)
# she is only as naughty as me
hehehehe
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 8 May 2002, 20:04, archived)
# Tell her the truth
Children are very adaptable, but they believe thier parents. It's very important not to loose this trust.
3 year olds understand death but they don't realise it's permanent. By the time she's worked out it's permanent she'll have forgotten the fish existed.
As for the heaven stuff, entirely up to you.
Trust me. I know about this shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:08, archived)
# I was hoping you were about,
this was our first option, before throwing it open for discussion.
:)
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 8 May 2002, 20:13, archived)
# God
I'm so sensible sometimes it's scary.
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:18, archived)
# just think what he _could_ have said
given our responses...

*shudder*
(I helped save b3ta! DaWolfey, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:23, archived)
# It could have been nasty
social services would have had to have been called.
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:30, archived)
# sorted now.
we've put them under her pillow, so the goldfish fairies will leave her 20p.
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 8 May 2002, 20:34, archived)
# i hope you've told her
otherwise it'll be like the godfather

"this is a message from pickled pizza... EAT YOUR VEG"
or something
(I helped save b3ta! DaWolfey, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:36, archived)
# what?
she'll be killing animals left, right and centre now!
imagine how much you would have to give her for a bengal tiger!
(I helped save b3ta! rockyrobin, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:36, archived)
# good point.
As soon as I re-found my milk teeth in my mum's jewellery box I nicked them and stuck them back under my pillow for more dosh. I'm such an entrepreneur.
(Nacho, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:39, archived)
# Did it work?
Could go on for a while if your parents are really thick..
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:45, archived)
# I certainly did it a couple of times...it was a while ago though - can't really remember
I also smashed one tooth in half and used half that night and half a couple of weeks later. I've still got that tooth now (not in my head though). They should have given me more pocket money as a child and I wouldn't have turned out so scheming.
(Nacho, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:48, archived)
# Good skills
Got any more good money making schemes? Preferably legal.
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:52, archived)
# put all new cats eyes
10 cm further apart than before.
same with lamp posts, traffic cones, hookers etc.
(I helped save b3ta! rockyrobin, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:55, archived)
# Hmmm
Okay then. I'll do that.
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Wed 8 May 2002, 21:01, archived)
# didn't they get
a tad suspicious after a while?
(I helped save b3ta! rockyrobin, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:53, archived)
# sleeping with a bengal tiger
under your pillow could pose e few problems
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Wed 8 May 2002, 20:40, archived)
# you see
what you've let yourself in for?
it would be more humane to kill all animals within a 5 mile radius of your house right now.
(I helped save b3ta! rockyrobin, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:41, archived)
# But what if
the dog dies? Will it fit under the pillow? Or if she finds dead birds in the garden, will they go under the pillow too? You'll go in one day to find all sorts of rotting corpses in her bed... Yeuch..
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Wed 8 May 2002, 20:38, archived)