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# I know the bloke who wrote the Club jingle.
In your next meeting could you discuss why round garibaldis are so much nicer than rectangular ones?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:31, archived)
# iiiffff ya like a lot of chocolate
on your busuit, join our club!


I CANNOT believe I just remembered that

that and "Trio! Treeee-eee-hooooo" etc etc
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:33, archived)
# I miss trios.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:36, archived)
# ^this
and Wagon Wheels at the original size they used to be at
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:38, archived)
# They may have always been that size
Its just your hands that got bigger..
(CaptainSpaulding is the leader of the lost cause., Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:40, archived)
#
bigger hairier
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:42, archived)
# well I do have to shave the palms of my hands more often....
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:51, archived)
# Maybe your legs had just grow....
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:44, archived)
# Well
At least we might get Marathons back - www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-565849/Farewell-Snickers-Marathon-bars-make-comeback.html
(I helped save b3ta! shrinking man Been away a while, time I ventured back, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:47, archived)
# I think I may weep with joy!
now all we need are wispa bars
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:51, archived)
# Yeah
They brought them back and then took them away again. Woss all that about?
(I helped save b3ta! shrinking man Been away a while, time I ventured back, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:52, archived)
# *shakes fist*
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:54, archived)
# They have been back for several months.
(I helped save b3ta! NobbyNobody 21 years a b3tan, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:53, archived)
# I'm not sure you can still get them
They were around for a while not so long back but I haven't seen one lately. Think Cadbury's only did it for the publicity.

If you can still get them, tell me where, please?
(I helped save b3ta! shrinking man Been away a while, time I ventured back, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:08, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:55, archived)
# that's my laptop!
:p
(I helped save b3ta! charlie?, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:56, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! printmeister http://tinyurl.com/c8s8fd5 for titanic T's, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:43, archived)
# Years ago there was a great poster ad for a health club in Edinburgh
showing a rather large lady on an exercise bike.

The line was :
"If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit, join our club."

Great ad which won awards but unfortunately I can't find an image on teh interweb...
(I helped save b3ta! beaubodor blogless, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:36, archived)
# There's a tanning salon on the outskirts of Oxford just opening up
called Sun of a Beach.


Made me chuckle, so it did.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:40, archived)
# I want to open a sandwich shop called
baguette it up ya
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:45, archived)
# there's a mobile sandwich bar round here
called the noshing shop.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:46, archived)
# that's good
but not as good as baguette it up ya...
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:47, archived)
# I want a shop called Cunts on Parade
but I don't know what sort of shop it should be.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:47, archived)
# erm....
a knocking shop?
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:47, archived)
# Good Lord man, I would never be involved in such a venture!

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:49, archived)
# that's why they'd never suspect it was you
... it's the prefect crime... the other perfect crime is when you start killing people and only stop when everyone who would question your death rampage is dead.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:50, archived)
# it's a pair of plans
that are growing on me.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:11, archived)
# something a bit like Tescos
but more sweary ... with knobs instead of bar codes... and sawdust on the floor
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:48, archived)
# Autobiography shop.
Most of the people that write them are cunts.

Either that, or leathers to match motorbikes. And lids.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:50, archived)
# I remember that
was surprised at the time they could get away with stealing the line.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:42, archived)
# What an honour to know the guy who wrote that jingle.
Is he a bit of an arse?

I'm sorry but we don't eat garibaldis in this club.
(Mr Eraserhead Why aren't you a lemon?, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:34, archived)
# Nah, he's a lovely chap.
He's not in jingles any more, he started a ridiculously successful company (that I work for, hence why I know him).

Round garibaldis are ace. Do you eat gingernuts?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:36, archived)
# Actually I love gingernuts...
but don't tell the others...

also I like Oreos greatly despite them being chocolate flavoured as opposed to having chocolate on them.
(Mr Eraserhead Why aren't you a lemon?, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:37, archived)
# Oreos taste of gravel. Well, to me.
But then I do smoke.

My mum makes chili and honey biscuits, they're lovely. Not too hot.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:38, archived)
# *wishes gravel tasted like Oreos...*
Oreos are the official food of the universe.
(Mr Eraserhead Why aren't you a lemon?, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:40, archived)
# Nah, bacon sandwiches.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:40, archived)
# you've shattered my illusions now
my dad told me HE wrote that jingle...

But he does tend to make stuff up, so you think I'd have learned by now!
(devilstickz, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:45, archived)
# Well I was told this on my induction day, by the guy.
And I have no reason to believe him to be a liar. He seems like a lovely chap, and looks like my grandpa.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:46, archived)
# So did Harold Shipman
(I helped save b3ta! grey kid is breakdancing to save a community centre, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:55, archived)
# what does his company do?
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:55, archived)
# I once tried to chat up
the heiress to the McVities biscuit empire.
I did not succeed.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:36, archived)
# did you try and show her your hobnob?
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:43, archived)
# She wasn't interested in my pair
of ginger nuts.

/obvious biscuit gag #11354
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:45, archived)
# did you try and get your hands on her tunnoks tea cakes?
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:51, archived)
# Did you touch her on the cunt,


/fail
(I helped save b3ta! @RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:59, archived)
# That jingle reminds me of the latest Coldplay single.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr Gear the gay-maker, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:38, archived)
# what!
are you mad, round garibaldis? heathen, burn her!
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:38, archived)
# No FUCK OFF I want to be dunked.
Let's keep to the biccie theme.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:39, archived)
# *ties to dunking stool*

*boils kettle*

*pours into giant cup*

*boils kettle again*

*pours into giant cup*

*boils kettle again*

this is going to take bloody ages, do you want milk and sugar as well?
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:45, archived)
# Coffee or tea?
Tea is milk and one, coffee is no milk and one.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:46, archived)
# Spoken like a true Jew!
C]:0D

EDIT: I am a belmer! I meant to reply to the bacon sandwich post . . .


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:48, archived)
# Hah, at no point did I accuse him of being too thin and force him to eat a massive dinner.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:49, archived)
# Hahahahaha!
gleeee!

EDIT: Where's my grandchildren already!?


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:50, archived)
# I can get a finger in your trouser waistband.
Sit down, I'll get you a sandwich.

I said SIT.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:51, archived)
# "you want a sandwich?"
"i don't want a sandwich"
"i'll get you a sandwich"
"i don't want a sandwich"
"you want beef?"
"i don't want beef"
"i'll get you some beef"
"thank you"
"are you going to look at it all day or are you going to eat it, already?"
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:57, archived)
# It's very confusing when young men channel my grandma.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:59, archived)
# young men, what are you talking about, eh?
there's more than one person doing my act?
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:00, archived)
# Time for your sherry Gramma.
Look, countdown's on. Get your dictionary out.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:01, archived)
# pah, i don't need a dictionary.
i like the challenge of countdown :) and catchphrase. god i love catchphrase.
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:05, archived)
# It's wrong now that other bloke does it
I love University Challenge and take it very seriously.

Quizzes are excellent.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:07, archived)
# oh god yeah.
paxman in any form is ace. the fact that sheffield got to the final was double ace. that i knew the american guy on our team is a nightmare. that i know another irritating tosser on next years team is as well
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:11, archived)
# Paxo FTW definitely.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:12, archived)
# innit
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:13, archived)
# you are mel gibson
aicmfp! oi vay!
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:54, archived)
# Your number one dirty jew fan, Mel Gibson.
Family Guy, for the RISsers.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:55, archived)
# Remember to put the milk in first
(I helped save b3ta! @RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Wed 18 Jun 2008, 14:55, archived)
# No, you fucking idiot
i detest people who do this.

milk goes in last for both tea and coffee. 1. so that you don;t pour boiling water on your milk. 2. the emulsion of the milk on the teabag causes a problem with the brewing of the tea in the cup. 3. how do you know how much milk you want? you don't know how strong your brew is going to be.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:01, archived)
# I do it
boil kettle
put bag in
wait for water to stop wobbling
pour water on teabag
play with teabag in water for a bit
take teabag out
put sugar in
put milk in dribble by dribble until there's enough
take into living room
pick up PS3 controller
let tea go cold again. Damn it.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 18 Jun 2008, 15:03, archived)
# I commend the harshness of your reply,
however, I prefer the milk to go in first. Coffee, more importantly so. If the water is too hot, it scalds the coffee making it bitter. It also tastes nicer. And it does not work buy letting the kettle cool either. Latte anyone.
(I helped save b3ta! @RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Wed 18 Jun 2008, 17:38, archived)