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# Ladies and gents,
Everybody's favourite baby-bearing b3tan, Mrs. Trellis, is due to give birth today.

Let's give it up for Trellis TNG shall we?



Original vectorisation by Aphex

EDIT stick any messages in this thread and I'll gaz her the link.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:20, archived)
# my boyfriend said to me this morning
"we are going to have three kids, and you are going to stay home and look after them"

Arrrgh!
So good luck to Trellis, I hope you have fun with the baybe :)
(I helped save b3ta! its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:22, archived)
# Did he tell you who he was going to have them with?
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:23, archived)
# Did you say "boyfriend" or "bellend"?
(I helped save b3ta! kinks rock over London, rock on Chicago, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:25, archived)
# These both are very b3ta responces:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:25, archived)
# Yep
(I helped save b3ta! kinks rock over London, rock on Chicago, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:26, archived)
# I wouldn't stand for that.
I'm not going to be a stay-at-home-mum, I'll work for a living like mine did, and show my kids the value of a hard day's work and of money. If I could ever afford to sit around on my arse watching Bargain Hunt whilst precious Tarquin learns Swahili on his Fisher Price whatever I still don't think I would. Bit too much respect for myself, you know? Having a kid doesn't mean my life's over.

Or at least, that's how I see it. Plus it's much more likely that the manwife will be the one at home.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:25, archived)
# totally
although i think he was joking ;)

all the same, I'd want a career over kids
(I helped save b3ta! its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:28, archived)
# I'm not really career driven as such
I just know that if I stay here all day with wee ones I'll go stir crazy. The first year or so, maybe, but after that it's a bloody team effort between me and the wife whether he likes it or not.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:30, archived)
# /END RANT
I never had you as a stay at home mum. I always thought of you as an in the garden or up at tree mum.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:30, archived)
# Out at sea, shirley.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:30, archived)
# Cardboard box pirate ship mum!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:32, archived)
# In a perfect world only one person would need to work
and the other would be able to spend all day bringing up children (which is really the most important job) but it's unlikely that this will be possible unless you've got crazy money.

I guess in the end we all do the best we can with what we have.
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:36, archived)
# I'm of the firm belief
that nursery is great for kids- they learn how to be around their peers BEFORE they get to schooling age. I'll definitely be sending mine, if only so they can get used to a larger social circle than I can provide for them.

That's when I'll go back to work.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:40, archived)
# this is our plan tbh
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:49, archived)
# I know I'll get a torrent of replies but I think only one needs to
IT's just people have forgotten to spend their money. I think that the more that two people work the more they spend on 'saving time'.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:40, archived)
# Yays!
Good luck to her! Now she should have it this morning so she can bve back working the fields by tomorrow.
EDIT: I think I've only every seen her once with out the lady bump!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:22, archived)
# yay for babies
best of luck and a short labour...
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:23, archived)
# B3ta the Next Generation
apt for the imageP

Wotcha lassy.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:23, archived)
# Harro
how is wet london?
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:26, archived)
# It's stopped
But at least I don't have to water the garden today.
And how are you and the bawwoon haninal menagerie?
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:28, archived)
# Sarah and I are getting married Sept 2009
i asked her to marry me on sunday.


life is very good
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:30, archived)
# Oh my goodness!
Oh my goodness gracious me!

*massive hugs* ohhhhhh YAY for the both of you.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:32, archived)
# thank you
i think it's going to be a big reception...
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:33, archived)
# Well I hope you have the time of your lives, love.
Ohhhhhhhhhh I love a wedding. Especially when it's nice people.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:36, archived)
# I can see the church now instead of friend and family of either one,
the ushers will be asking 'Talkboard or Messageboard?'
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:35, archived)
# Hahahaha!
There'll be plenty of glowering accross the aisle . . .


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:52, archived)
# oh dear :(
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:54, archived)
# Not on such an auspicious occasion!
That and obviously the talkboard would only be there in a silver service cappasity.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:56, archived)
# hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 10:06, archived)
# WOW!!!
congrats matey!!!!!!

*bighuggles*
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:33, archived)
# thanks hon
*big huggles back*
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:34, archived)
# oooh
congratulations indeed.
(I helped save b3ta! Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:35, archived)
# thank you
:)
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:36, archived)
# YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Congrats :D
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:37, archived)
# thank you mrs trellis
good luck with the baby!!
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:38, archived)
# Thank you :D
Good luck with the wedding - we want details!
(Well I do anyway)
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:39, archived)
# i'm sure details will be posted
and updates will be made on facebook!
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:44, archived)
# *goes to find on facebook*
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:45, archived)
# Good luck missy!
You'll be able to see your feet again soo!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:45, archived)
# Well in!
wedded bliss ftw!
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:42, archived)
# thank you
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:43, archived)
# Crikey, what a day!
Congratumalations!
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:44, archived)
# thank you
:)
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:47, archived)
# woooooo! congrats!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:47, archived)
# thank you!
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:47, archived)
# Woah...congrats! :)
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:48, archived)
# thanks hon!!
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:50, archived)
# Oh that's just ACE!
Brilliant! psst! you need a jazz band? C]:0D


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:50, archived)
# oooooh thanks honey!
we've probably got one friend performing but thats a nice idea... we will let you know when we have done a bit more planning!!
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:51, archived)
# congraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaats
i know i already said it on FB but heck, it's worth saying 2x
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:50, archived)
# thanks you!
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:52, archived)
# Bless her
I hope it all goes swimmingly.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:23, archived)
# Didn't know she was planning a water birth...
badum-tish
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:34, archived)
# Oh you bugger.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:37, archived)
# Hahaha
I use this one as it has more Quo
But I still think that in both the high hat go on for too long.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:44, archived)
# oooh, outstanding! Well I hope it all goes perfectly for Mrs T!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:26, archived)
# Wait...b3tans are hatching?

Wish her all the luck!
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:27, archived)
# Wahey
Best of luck to her. :)
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:32, archived)
# A lovely little baby
another new life starts
we hope it's not too painful
trying to squeeze it through your parts


all of our very best to mother and bump-baby
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:33, archived)
# *giggles*
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:38, archived)
# Congratulations!
Best of luck to your wife today, then. :)

Hope that everything goes well, and may you have a very gorgeous, healthy little bundle of joy. :D
xx
(TheHBoxster is probably playing Beatles Rock Band on, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:34, archived)
# ahem
nowt to do with me your honour
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:38, archived)
# Gah!
I really should pick when I drop in more carefully!
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:35, archived)
# Shouldn't you be somewhere about now?
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:36, archived)
# It'd be nice
But no amount of curry, raspberry leaf tea and -ahem- other methods have managed to bring things on naturally today....
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:39, archived)
# plunger?
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:51, archived)
# Nah, much MUCH more fun ;)
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:54, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 10:06, archived)
# *rubs tummy*
*coos at vagina* here, little baby.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:38, archived)
# Heh heh
Bad enough Mr Trellis constantly shouting out 'hello in there' - then echoing back at himself....
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:40, archived)
# TRELLY!
Good luck m'dear, all in the Doom household have their fingers crossed :)
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:39, archived)
# Thank you sir :)
Hope Lady Doom's good *hugs*
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:43, archived)
# So far so good... *grasps wood*
Will we all get souvenir picture cards?
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:48, archived)
# There may well be picshurs
Nice ones though. This board's seen far too much of gaping holes. And me naked for that matter.
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 10:00, archived)
# All the best
Shouldn't you be in hospital by now? :)
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:42, archived)
# In theory
However
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:45, archived)
# Haha
Ah well, I shall think of you when I visit my little fluffy friends shortly
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:49, archived)
# Good luck!
and try not to think about the very very big head . . . C]:0D

EDIT: Trelly repost



(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:36, archived)
# Trying desperately not to....
Woopic!
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:46, archived)
# Yay - Good luck Mrs. T :)

(I helped save b3ta! kingsuperspecial is in an audience, wanking furiously, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:42, archived)
# Ooooh, noice :)
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:48, archived)
# woo!
nice one mrs t!

one of my friends is due today, i doubt it'll actually happen for another week though- first children are usually a bit late
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:42, archived)
# Very very true
Mum went 11 days over with me, so I was never expecting to go early. Not going to stop me tucking into the raspberry leaf tea and curry and all that though :)
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:50, archived)
# Dear Trelly
go for the pethidine, it's near as dammit legal Smack.

Good luck and hope you have an easy time of it luv.

Gerry
(I helped save b3ta! Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 12 Aug 2008, 9:59, archived)
# Dear Wobbly
Hoping to avoid the pethidine cos of the nasty things it could do to Trellis TNG, but I will be tucking heartily into the entonox, which gets me just as giggly :)
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 10:02, archived)
# ^this
And (in these days of epidurals) why would you risk a drugged baby, being unable to breast feed? Epidurals are pretty good, though hopefully you won't need anything but a bit of entonox.

Dear Mrs T -- the very best of luck!

Here's advice from my limited but recent experience, in the hope it's helpful (I'm sure I wrote this before, but can't find it now). If not helpful just ignore it!

If your Plan A is for a home birth:
- if your Plan A does not work out, you'll probably want to switch to Plan B before you are exhausted; how will you know? you'll probably need your midwife to understand your wishes & plans, and to help you assess how it's going;
- therefore: don't be brave and wait for contractions every 3 mins before calling the midwife (I'm assuming usual NHS arrangement whereby you basically get a random midwife you've never met before), or there'll be no time for you to brief her on what your Plan A - Plan B switch-point is, set up the working relationship etc.

Breast feeding: it's actually very difficult. The best way to learn is to ask a midwife to watch you and advise you *every time*, if you can. There are about 100+ useful little tricks and tips, but you have to drag that knowledge out of them!

Weeing: Your tired pelvic floor will have lost sensation, so you may need to set an alarm clock to tell you to go and wee every 2 hours for the first 48 hours or so. It's a right drag, but avoids bladder straining your pelvic floor, and accidents. You can stop when need-to-wee sensation returns.

Keep an eye (or get your hubby to) on what the midwives & doctors are doing (eg: drug and drip doses and times), but they're mostly excellent.

Good luck!
PS: make sandwiches now and put them in the fridge/freezer -- there's barely time to even re-heat a meal in the first 2 days!
PPS: Babies are FAB!
(I helped save b3ta! Bee Nice |-|, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 11:38, archived)
# ooh good luck!
dont forget to scream, take drugs and hurt the father - bit like how the baby was made :D
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 10:04, archived)
# Who's been talking?
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 10:09, archived)
# just talking from
experience :)
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 10:37, archived)
# make it so
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 10:08, archived)
# Best of luck!
Hope it's a painless as possible!
*huggles*

:D
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 10:45, archived)
# *enhuggles*
best wishes - best of luck - try and score me some drugs while you're there.

WOO YAY HOOOPLA PANOWIE.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 11:16, archived)
# congrats!
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Tue 12 Aug 2008, 21:06, archived)