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# The milky bars are on me!*
I have just got word that my further research into heat exchanger sealing devices has been given the go ahead and i have been given a big budget to do the work. and i may have to take on extra staff.

Anyone looking for a job that involves being my lackey send me an email stating in not more that 4 words why you should have the job and what your qualifications are.

*Milky bars may not actually be supplied
(thediscokingpin, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:46, archived)
# I like job please
thats all.
(maddave, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:48, archived)
# fantastic blow job

(oooh only 3 words!!)
(I helped save b3ta! popt_art, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:54, archived)
# put daily..
..on the end and you are in.
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:59, archived)
# It's so good to see
womens lib coming on in leaps and bounds.
(I helped save b3ta! bovine I'm so old, even my old is old, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 15:08, archived)
# milky bars are evil, spawn of the evil Nestle
any chance this lackeying job can be done from home?
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:48, archived)
# booooooooooooooo
nestlé
(I helped save b3ta! mnb098mnb used to be here, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:49, archived)
# No i need
lackeying done in the office, even when i work from home.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:52, archived)
# I want the job..
..because it is a condition of my bail that I find one.....please.
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:49, archived)
# Does it involve devices for
enabling seals to exchange heat magazine, very worthy cause.
(I helped save b3ta! Dai_Marzipan Ain't no party like an S Club party, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:49, archived)
# Wanted: Copy of Heat Magazine
Will swap for Copy of Heat Magazine
(Divvy, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:50, archived)
# 4 words
Big
Fat
Hairy
Kitten
(Divvy, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:49, archived)
# Don't employ Divvy
He's schizophrenic
(Divvy, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:58, archived)
# I'm bloody not
stop spreading rumours
(Divvy, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:58, archived)
# Roses are red
Violets are blue
im a schiztophrenic
and so am i


llaaaaaaalalalalala
(I helped save b3ta! the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 15:02, archived)
# job or you die
(Al__S is constantly suprised, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:49, archived)
# i should get the job because
i am bum gay fucking great.
(martian, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:49, archived)
# heh heh
you
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:53, archived)
# haha!
it realy is.

oh and I got shoes. ones to kick your head in if you think I'm a woosy girl. but seen as you are a girl and I'm a bloke, I can't hit you!
(I helped save b3ta! jiva nearly always up for a game of scrabble, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:59, archived)
# It's okay
I'm drawn to men who treat me rough.

I think it's the low self-esteem.
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 15:02, archived)
# i will
hug you.

(only four words, see?)
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:50, archived)
# I thought of that
but one of the words was different...
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:51, archived)
# which one?
the job application may depend on this

[edit] i CAN hug you. was that it?
(thediscokingpin, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:52, archived)
# um.. yeah
given that I'm coming to your birthday bash, we'll leave it at that! or I'll be too shy to go anywhere near...
(I helped save b3ta! Jadeviper was still alive on, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 15:03, archived)
# Me Clever, Money Please
Will that do as a 4-word CV. It's a bit restrictive, but I think I've summed up my motivation and credentials quite neatly.
(kryptik, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:51, archived)
# cheese fish lamp smell
(I helped save b3ta! PMGT -Bacon., Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:51, archived)
# I'll consider
you then. But i have others to look at
(thediscokingpin, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:53, archived)
# hurray!
(I helped save b3ta! PMGT -Bacon., Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:54, archived)
# How about...
Give me some money?

Thats only four words. I like it. Can I have a job then?
(I helped save b3ta! Andi is member 695 so have some damn respect, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:52, archived)
# I'm looking for a job. I can type and stuff.
I am an experienced admin bod.
(GARY R., Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:52, archived)
# Need scientific
staff, minimumm B.Eng or B.Sc in engineering
(thediscokingpin, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:54, archived)
# The wife has a PhD in science..
..will she do?
(I helped save b3ta! sick_boy, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:55, archived)
# Yes
what is her discipline?
(thediscokingpin, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:58, archived)
# She likes
being spanked
(Divvy, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:59, archived)
# Doh!
not that kind of......well maybe....
(thediscokingpin, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 15:00, archived)
# I'm sort of scientific
1st year of a BSc. in Psychology - surely quite similar to a B.Eng.?
(kryptik, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:56, archived)
# No
(thediscokingpin, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 15:22, archived)
# I have BSc (Combined Engineering)
that do?
(I helped save b3ta! thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 15:05, archived)
# MAYBE
(thediscokingpin, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 15:23, archived)
# I'm in the second year
of an MChem. Will that do?
(Al__S is constantly suprised, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 15:12, archived)
# nO
(thediscokingpin, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 15:24, archived)
# Sorry
I think you've gone over the word limit there. No job for you! (Or me, I think I was beaten by cheese fish lamp smell - damn!)
(kryptik, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:54, archived)
# I
am
currently
unemployed
(I helped save b3ta! munkt0n, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:53, archived)
# 'cause I'm cheap
"none"

there, a reason AND qualifications all in 4 words
(I helped save b3ta! JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:53, archived)
# im great me!
*FACT!*
(I helped save b3ta! the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 14:59, archived)
# if that doesnt get me the job i dunno what will
how about:

GIVES HEAD FOR WORK?


would that work?
(I helped save b3ta! the_fabulous_dancing_yak You like game? You come see 5punk.co.uk. You like!, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 15:00, archived)
# Yes
if you're female, which you are not.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 15:03, archived)
# If I was looking to employ
That would swing my vote your way
(But I'm not. Any chance of a freebie?)
EDIT: Actually, if you're male, I'm less sure. Paper bag?
(kryptik, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 15:03, archived)
# spunky tit wank
fridays.

:)
they are my qualifications.
(I helped save b3ta! jiva nearly always up for a game of scrabble, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 15:02, archived)
# You're
hired. You start on friday
(thediscokingpin, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 15:03, archived)
# but
by default any work you give me goes straight to munkt0n cos he's unemployed and I'm not.
(I helped save b3ta! jiva nearly always up for a game of scrabble, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 15:05, archived)
# In that case
Bleaaaaaaaauuuuuuurggggghhhh!

and your're fired.
(thediscokingpin, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 15:09, archived)
# cheese eating surrender monkeys!!
is my favourite sentence to describe the French at the moment!

also i know fuck all about heat exchanging thingys

sorry:)
(I helped save b3ta! monkeymanblue mathematically safe, Wed 5 Mar 2003, 15:18, archived)