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# For sale


(Steelrat The thief of bad gags., Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:05, archived)
# too soon
does not want
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:05, archived)
# *winces*
Plus, six years is quite a lot of use actually...
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:06, archived)
# *giggles*
*feels bad*
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:06, archived)
# Hmm
but the plane crash is ok? hmmm
(Steelrat The thief of bad gags., Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:06, archived)
# Well no-one died in the plane crash.
Edit: I sit corrected
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Cleo still alive, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:07, archived)
# Apart from the 9 people that died in the plane crash
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:08, archived)
# Yeah but they were probably only the nasty ones.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:10, archived)
# Maybe they were the turkeys
The BBC headline "Turkey plane crashes in Holland"
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:12, archived)
# Bloody GM turkeys
coming to our country and flying our planes!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:14, archived)
# I've had enough of these mutha-fuckin' turkeys on this mutha-fuckin' plane!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:16, archived)
# Hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:16, archived)
# Hahaha
At least the delivery will be cheap come Christmas.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:17, archived)
# heh!
(I helped save b3ta! RiffRaff lurking like a lurky thing, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:18, archived)
# needs more nick
(I helped save b3ta! op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:20, archived)
# hahahahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:27, archived)
# LOL
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:38, archived)
# 0_0
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:12, archived)
# ^
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:10, archived)
# I thought no-one o_O
I must have read an earlier one where they said 25 were hurt, but no-one died.
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Cleo still alive, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:10, archived)
# Given the state of the plane
Lucky it's ONLY 9. So far anyway...
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:11, archived)
# Not a bad landing though.
It wasn't vertical.
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Cleo still alive, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:12, archived)
# There is that
I've seen worse crash sites
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:14, archived)
# 25 are faking it.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:12, archived)
# stop.
now.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:15, archived)
# If they use it to pull a sicky from work
after three days they have to provide a black box.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:18, archived)
# I'm so glad Earls Court is a long way from the much nicer part of London
where I live.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:22, archived)
# Ah an Elephant and Castle boy are ya?:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:23, archived)
# South of the River.....?
oh, please.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:27, archived)
# god, for some reason I'm now thinking of a plane full of folks in wheelchairs going "mlnlgmglnglmlgnlgmglngmlg"
constantly

on take off, midflight, descent, and then crashing into the ground

and they are being taken off into ambulances going "MLNGLMGLNMGLNG"

oh god.. these thoughts

B3TA what have you done to me
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:09, archived)
# Drink more.
It helps. Helps the ... pain ...
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:10, archived)
# yes
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:12, archived)
# Buggered your brain with a cucumber
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:10, archived)
# it's the way everyone wants to go
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:13, archived)
# I'd prefer an aubergine
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:15, archived)
# So the rumours were true.
;-)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:18, archived)
# Sssssssssh ;)
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:19, archived)
# MUST. NOT. SMILE.
*fails*
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:11, archived)
# inflight the air, the one air hostess is trying to serve them ice cream all at once
and they all want ice cream

and they see the ice cream

and she can't serve them fast enough

and some of them keep dropping the ice cream

AAAARG
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:13, archived)
# Maybe they were all flaking it.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:14, archived)
# hahaha
there'd be shreds of chocolate flying everywhere and they just whip themselves into a frenzy

all completely belted to the wheelchairs constantly shaking "MLNLGMLGNGLM ICE CREAM"
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:15, archived)
# At least one would have a cone up their nose
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:16, archived)
# Ah
Concord.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:20, archived)
# *now has mental image of concorde with a kid hanging off by the nose*
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:21, archived)
# But you always have had that.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:22, archived)
# STAY OUT OF MY BRAIN!
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:24, archived)
# its called 'empathy'
I think
(I helped save b3ta! twig Save 6 Music, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:11, archived)
# hahahahahahah
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:13, archived)
# Oh my god
*tries desperately to keep a straight face*

*no chance*

MLNGLMGLNMGLNG
(I helped save b3ta! elephant rider property shark sighted!, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:16, archived)
# and they all try and visit the cockpit at once
"MLNGLGN" and start licking the controls

oh fuck, I have to stop
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:17, archived)
# hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! epiphany coming live from sweden, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:21, archived)
# really!
Dutch Journalist, Robert Portier, reported live from the site of the crash:

"The plane is in three pieces, the engines have flown off and lay scattered on the ground. There have been reports of deaths and I can see four white linen cloths on the ground."
(Steelrat The thief of bad gags., Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:11, archived)
# Well I clearly didn't read the article well enough.
Apologies.

Edit: Perhaps I should change my above statement to "We don't care about things in other countries as much."
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Cleo still alive, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:13, archived)
# ouch
but i feared worse today.
(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:07, archived)
# Whoah dude!
That's harsh, even by my standards :(
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:07, archived)
# "The owner of the website, Mr. Rob Manuel, was unavailable for comment."
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:08, archived)
# I was waiting for this.
:D
(I helped save b3ta! elephant rider property shark sighted!, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:14, archived)
# Hahaha.
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:08, archived)
# I think it was Hillaire Belloc that won a short story compo in a newspaper - with
"FOR SALE: one pair of baby's bootees. Unused."

It's been riffed on ever since - eg League Of Gentlemen.

This pic is dark. But similarly clever.

Not so much funny, tho.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:08, archived)
# Hemingway.
He thought it was his best work. I prefer

"Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time"
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:10, archived)
# That's the fella.
Ace stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:12, archived)
# Or the even snappier:
Dorothy: "Fuck it, I'll stay here."
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:16, archived)
# Some spanish novellist whose name I forget...
...came up with:

"When he woke up, the dinosaur was still there".

Which is much recommended by Umberto Eco for its style and brevity.
(I helped save b3ta! prince-igor si tacuisses, philosophus mansisses, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:48, archived)
# Another human bites the dust
Oh wait, he's the son of someone posh, better say something about the countrys prayers etc...
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:14, archived)
# "country's"
you inbred oik.
(I helped save b3ta! Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:31, archived)
# Wrong. Just wrong
Fucking windoze - got a million programs open, loads of work on and now its pestering me to restart every 10 mins cos something trivial has been updated.

It will take me 10 mins to bloody load up the programs and files if i restart now!

And im wasting time here. Figures.
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:15, archived)
# Have you tried dragging the restart prompt out of the way (to the side of the screen or something)
and ignoring it until it's conveniant? Just coz it's ther doesn't mean you have to click restart if there's no other option.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:16, archived)
# If it's the "I WILL FORCE YOU TO UPDATE GRAARG" thing, you can just click "tell me later" anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Cleo still alive, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:18, archived)
# Some just have the restart option.
You just drag it off the screen and ignore it until it suits you.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:19, archived)
# Indeed.
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Cleo still alive, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:25, archived)
# i just restarted anyway
i think it was the one with the 5 minute time limit, and the 'now/ later' buttons.
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:25, archived)
# you can shut that restart prompt off you know
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:45, archived)
# Hahaha
I had to go research what had happened and Im glad I did
(I helped save b3ta! Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:18, archived)
# why?
(Peter_G, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:21, archived)
# DEAD CHILDREN R HILARIOUS
(I helped save b3ta! Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:37, archived)
# lets not forget jade goody
(I helped save b3ta! op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:19, archived)
# She can GTF
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Cleo still alive, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:25, archived)
# Give it a few weeks, we might be able to
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:37, archived)
# hahahahahaha
Straight to Hull!
Onwards to Hull!
(Suomi_Finland_Perkele knocking 256 shades of shit out of your screen on, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:19, archived)
# DIASBLEDKIDDEATHLOLZ!
But the Beeb have gone WAY over the top on this...

It's all they've talking about all fucking day (or at least everytime I go for a fag and walk past the telly in reception)
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:24, archived)
# Probably means the govt are announcing a new tax on anal.
Always good for a cover up.
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:30, archived)
# Just a tad
It's not like he's getting any deader
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:36, archived)
# HAHAHAHAHA you beat me to it !!
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Wed 25 Feb 2009, 15:39, archived)