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'They' say cheese makes a sandwich.

...and who am I do second guess what 'they' say?

I chopped off a piece of cheddar (extra sharp) earlier today and put it on the counter. It has since become thoroughly room temperature and rendered a tiny bit of cheese sweat. I still don't have a fucking sandwich. Why doesn't my cheese perform as advertised? What is it waiting on? Does cheese only perform at Christmas? Do various cheeses, such as mozzarella or not mozzarella, behave differently?

I'm basically reeling with the choices and I'd not mind a sandwich.

signed: Starving

(

Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:24, archived)

Keep waiting

and the Virgin Mary will appear.

(may or may not look like mould)

(

Dave Down Under, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:28, archived)

Itchi Gitchi Ya Ya Da Da
Itchi Gitchi Ya Ya Here

(

Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:32, archived)

That

is some virgin cheese...

...which b3tan is responsible for it?

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:44, archived)

I think you're missing the point

you have cheese!
as I said earlier today, cheese is fucking ace.
Enjoy your cheese, it's better without bread.

(

abandonnship, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:28, archived)

Cheese is not ace

when it sits on your counter all day without being at all productive.

(

Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:32, archived)

Dude!

CHEESE!
I think you may be missing the point. Sure, the cheese is lazy. Would you prefer it run around? Don't you think that would be a little disturbing? Plus, you couldn't eat it if it had legs, it'd have to be collected for testing or something.

(

abandonnship, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:33, archived)

You could tie it's ankles together for a convenient hanging loop.

I'm not a big fan of cheese running around, but if it was hobbled sufficiently, it might still make a fine sandwich - EXCEPT IT FUCKING WON'T!

(

Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:36, archived)

cheese had legs, you'd most likely have to chase it around a yard ... and, if or when you caught your cheese you'd have to break the buggers neck and then pluck it.

Break it's legs first, then feed it... much easier!

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:37, archived)

You should put mines in your yard.

Then you'll get the suprising version of already cooked and sliced wild yard cheese.

(

Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:41, archived)

Careless talk costs threads

Use the talkboard please.
There's not many people on it at the moment though.
Ta

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:28, archived)

LOLz it's 04:30 am in the morning!

It's kind of like cordless bungee jumping. Eventually someone will clean up the mess if they're bothered.

(

Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:35, archived)

Sweaty cheese does not a sandwich make.

Fact.

_{_Fiction}

(

cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:30, archived)

Quod Erat Demonstratum

(

Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:52, archived)

I just had to eat Jarlsburg

And grind welding beads. You made me do it.

(

cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 5:04, archived)

You should

try one of these instead... clicky linky thingy

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:35, archived)

His brain and/or ham pie

doesn't have cheese.

(

Syncubus Yarr! Ye'll be walking Planck's Constant! [GMT-5], Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:45, archived)

(Calmallama Is keeping this short and sweet, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:00, archived)

do you bait them with bread crumbs?

(

Grampa, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:03, archived)

pfffft

he must like duck breast too

(GIbbonsrwild, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:05, archived)

all though could be a lesbian duck

with a specialy designed double dong duck strap on

(GIbbonsrwild, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:06, archived)

A West Australian Pemberton man

embarked on a beastial plan
he planted his tackle
in a poor ducks chloacle
and pounded it's anus to sand

(mr sausage. where the bloody hell are ya?, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:20, archived)

YES!!

(Londingham ., Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:05, archived)

There's

something wrong with the speeling

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:08, archived)

dux!

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:50, archived)

what's the link

for this letter dragging?

I remember using it to spell out wank, flaps, and shitting cuntfuckery when it was first posted. I've got hours to waste.

(mmmkay, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 5:15, archived)

Something

I was working on, but lost the will to live...

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:57, archived)

pfffft that took me a second

(

AgentMuu hentai coordination, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:58, archived)

Politico Copulati!

cfsb

Thanks to 'deadfish' for the source.

(

Ratsta, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:42, archived)

George, Gerore, George of tha Jungle....

(Londingham ., Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:43, archived)

oh for fucks sake. im sorry, i feel the need to rant and pearoast. but its half three so im gonna

i get in from work serving beer to pissed up students, i turn to b3ta to lighten the mood, and find you all moaning about not being stoned and the board being slow.

well, i am very stoned, and i want entertainment, but you all whinge. ok, so, i know i will probably be flamed for this, but for the benefit of you bored, stoned / not stoned folks who havent seen this before

i do apologise genuinely to the people that might have posted something good in the inordinately long 5 minutes it took me to remember the site i stuck my pics on

(prescottspies eating pies to save the nation, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:38, archived)

Yay!

(Londingham ., Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:39, archived)

dude, thank you

i love a jab at prescott, if you pardon the pun.

ive pearoasted those a couple of times now, no matter what imagery i come up with i cant resist having a go at prescott.

if im honest, hes my favourite politician. i mean, i hate them all, but prescottts brilliant. the fat pie munching jag hoarding piece of shit.

(prescottspies eating pies to save the nation, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:41, archived)

Have another, absolutely free!

(Londingham ., Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:46, archived)

That

is one hugely huge pie...

but, alas, it's still not a snack!

:D

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:48, archived)

i remember that disgusting, vagina-esque confectionery.

(

AgentMuu hentai coordination, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:58, archived)

me too

it is not nice.

(

abandonnship, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:58, archived)

eh?

as in "fanny-pie?"

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:02, archived)

Erm

alright, why not

(

abandonnship, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:18, archived)

damn!

Pearoasting galore....

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:42, archived)

400t400t400t!

rofl

(prescottspies eating pies to save the nation, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:43, archived)

what

happened to all your links in your profile?

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:45, archived)

three words for you there

micro$haft are shit

(prescottspies eating pies to save the nation, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:06, archived)

my happy tag

cant be happy unless you got one. haha.

mah deviarnt arhrt

(

sooperdave, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:35, archived)

Aww, I like your happy tag

It's cute.

(

abandonnship, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:38, archived)

I've

got a bastard tag, but I can't show it... I'm not allowed

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:43, archived)

I have a few tags

oh wait, those are teeth

(

abandonnship, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:47, archived)

you've

got bastard teeth?

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:50, archived)

Yeah, the fuckers

... actually, they're rather nice

(

abandonnship, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:51, archived)

Does

anyone like my...

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:31, archived)

EVIL!

(

StickFigureNinja is worried he may be on the list, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:31, archived)

Sweet holy crap

That made me laugh a lot more than it should've.

Have a click.

(MightyMoose has never touched the magenta, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:32, archived)

hahaha, i love the one with crossed eyes

woo!

(

AgentMuu hentai coordination, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:34, archived)

nah, the one with it's eye's closed...

much funnier

(mr sausage. where the bloody hell are ya?, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:59, archived)

That's cos I'm raping it

Woo!

(

stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 2 Mar 2006, 4:24, archived)

GRUT

(JahDrop "No care for you, no care for me"-Bob Marley, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:27, archived)

and it's called-

TOYS 'R US!

(Londingham ., Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:32, archived)

Cough...pearoast...cough...

(

BamaSS, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:15, archived)

No, it isn't

(Londingham ., Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:15, archived)

teh fluff

is borked

(

Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 7:39, archived)

I just know shes been framed

(strontium190, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:56, archived)

Wahey!

Errm, RIS?

Sauce?

(MightyMoose has never touched the magenta, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:58, archived)

There was originally an Iraqi prosoner at the end of that lead

(Londingham ., Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:03, archived)

Ahhh

Current affairs, y'see.

Never been too good at paying attention to anything.

Woo to the pic by the way.
Very nicely done, even if I'm too thick to fully appreciate it. :)

I concede that this affair may not in fact be particularly current,
as it could've happened any time in the last 15 years.

(MightyMoose has never touched the magenta, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:08, archived)

That's

cos you're only stoned from the ankles down...

:D

But, as to the 15 years thing " concede that this affair may not in fact be particularly current,
as it could've happened any time in the last 15 years." how old exactly is Lassie?

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:11, archived)

www.imdb.com/title/tt0036098/

I think.

Never been to good at counting neither. :D

(MightyMoose has never touched the magenta, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:16, archived)

bejesus!

the walking flea bag came home?

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:20, archived)

I don't want to be jesus!

And no.
It's one of those great government conspiracies.

Lee Harvey Oswald never shot JFK,
Neil Armstrong never landed on the moon,
and Lassie never came home.

(edited to be much more intersting)

(MightyMoose has never touched the magenta, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:27, archived)

Yes....

thank you.

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:50, archived)

Woo!

(Londingham ., Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:59, archived)

Woo

But.... Mwwwwaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh....

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:03, archived)

Fantastic

My Thursday phrase of the day shall be "big sheeps cock" !

(

BamaSS, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:15, archived)

Magenta..

mind you!

all sheep should be Magenta so you can see them

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:23, archived)

huzzah!

(

deodar ant trois minutes douche compris, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:08, archived)

(Londingham ., Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:48, archived)

you've taken a picture of yourself and written beware under it?

and then set it to HUUUGE and posted it on the board?

...

(

zog why change it now?, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:54, archived)

It's not a picture of me

so HA!

And it's a VERY slow board

(Londingham ., Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:56, archived)

sorry

your ambiguously gay roomate.

(

zog why change it now?, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:03, archived)

It's slow,

cos you're all stoned!

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:05, archived)

I wish I was bloody stoned!

:-(

(Londingham ., Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:06, archived)

I take

seven tablets each day... all of them stone you a tad.

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:07, archived)

Not all of me.

(MightyMoose has never touched the magenta, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:06, archived)

Ok,

It's slow cos you're all stoned, except for MightyMoose who's only stoned from the ankles down...

:D

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:10, archived)

Damn right.

And don't you forget it!

(MightyMoose has never touched the magenta, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:12, archived)

magenta....

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:56, archived)

David Attenborough

gets some...

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:32, archived)

I've met him

(

mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:34, archived)

it looks like a

FIST???

(A Hospital Carpark, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:37, archived)

Pfft..

Yesterday my (female) flatmate was going round the kitchen singing "Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie, put your hands all over my body..."
On questioning, it was revealed that she has never visited rathergood.com or seen the appropiate flash anim.
Hmmmmm.

(Londingham ., Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:39, archived)

girlfriend just sings,

I have to pretend I like it...

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:41, archived)

a bone,
or
a boner,
or
a fist,
or
perhaps....
.
.
.
.
.
a handbag....? :D

Recycle... the possibilities are endless....

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:39, archived)

hehe

(Londingham ., Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:41, archived)

CDF

hurrah!

(Slartibartfast.... designer of coastlines, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:53, archived)

And Iran,

Iran's so far away...

(MightyMoose has never touched the magenta, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:30, archived)

i might die of fluff poisoning before this compo is even half over

lovely pic though ;)

(

kingofpork is the king of pork, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:32, archived)

Haha!

Welcome aboard!

(

Grampa, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:45, archived)

haha

(2P4E nil admirari, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:45, archived)

In a Fluffy World, Our Daily Alcohol Intake...

(FightingComet got Boost Power on, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:25, archived)

yay!

(

kingofpork is the king of pork, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:32, archived)

That gives me the horn

In other news, that gives me the horn

(

BamaSS, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 3:17, archived)

AOL: The difference between High-Speed and Dial up

(JahDrop "No care for you, no care for me"-Bob Marley, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:24, archived)

hmmm

(Londingham ., Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:25, archived)

haha

quality stuff

(

kingofpork is the king of pork, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:32, archived)

(

steponfrog dribblygreenstuffdriblingfrommynoes, Thu 2 Mar 2006, 2:35, archived)

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