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Lawyer bait

How about taking the "Fake My Death" scripts, and making "Fake My Anything At All". You supply a picture, a headline, and some text, and you can create a CNN/BBC/Annanova fake website at the click of a button.

That could be cool. It might even stay up for four seconds or more.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:07, archived)

People would still

Use it to fake people's death's though i should think. So who ever it is that moaned about it before would do it again. But fuck it, would be kool to see it up again. Just have someone else host it so that the person that did it before dont get in the shit again

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:13, archived)

Inevitable

(sam_fujiyama, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:57, archived)

elle est une horse face

sorry if that doesnt make sense, my french is a little rusty

(icedragon, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:00, archived)

surely

"elle as le visage d'un cheval"?

(

isthisyou?, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:02, archived)

yea i could have made the whole sentence french but i thought i'd follow the trend

surely pipe isnt spelt as 'pipe' in french?

(icedragon, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 12:01, archived)

In a panto styleeee

Oh yes it is.

(

Ted, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 12:11, archived)

hey there

you'd be a Nottingham person then? (judging by the pub scheduler)
glad to see i'm not the only one

(

rockyrobin, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:22, archived)

do you know her?

(

isthisyou?, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:50, archived)

err...

no.

(

rockyrobin, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 12:02, archived)

I do

oh, wait, no i dont!

(icedragon, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 12:04, archived)

yep

that be where i am.
where abouts do you work?

(icedragon, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 12:03, archived)

work?

haha! no i'm a student.

at the proper uni, not the poly.

(

rockyrobin, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 12:23, archived)

blah..

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:17, archived)

the wooyay collection

is inching ever closer to 200.
clicky woo and goto b3tas wooyays

(

vbloke OLDSKOOL, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:54, archived)

Going to add my..

..20Megs one i just made a few posts down? Haha

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:08, archived)

clicky

(

vbloke OLDSKOOL, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:23, archived)

Betcha don't have:

(BOON ARMY Cadet Professional Lurker, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:31, archived)

Ive just signed

Up with 20megs. Ive given up using Tripod at college, its shit and never works.
yay and woo for me

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:50, archived)

Fucksocks

Do they have no web ftp? Now im pissed

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:53, archived)

Yes they do

Otherwise I wouldn't be using them.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:55, archived)

Its at:

[insertname].20m.com/cgi-bin/util/builder/fm

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:56, archived)

Kool

Thankies. They dont make it very clear where it is i dont think. Or was i just not looking hard enough?

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:59, archived)

Even on the free one?

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:56, archived)

Yay and woo

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:03, archived)

Ahh see

we've been going on about the (admittedly great) Fucksocks and Cuntymints so long, we've not been paying much attention to the godlike superbness of the classic "Pissflaps" :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:54, archived)

I always liked ...

spunktassels

(

nyarlathotep, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:59, archived)

Pong madness....

apologies if this has been posted before

(

Ted, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:49, archived)

Oh yes

its very old, but i love it :)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:52, archived)

I havnt done anything to the pic yet

So here is my attempt.
What is she doing with my Lonely Coo

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:27, archived)

coo looks very cute

when he looks like he's small

(

DaWolfey, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:30, archived)

Mmmm,

tasty and chewy.

(Amerella, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:31, archived)

It's ok lonely coo

I'll be your friend.

(

macca, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:58, archived)

Shouldn't

Lonely Coo be telling her to fuck off about now?

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:23, archived)

Yes he should

I will have to do that one tonite when i get home. If she's not turned into a worn out joke by then

(

[Coo] is one of the Originals.., Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:36, archived)

Okay, I'm breaking my

"never post attachments on b3ta" rule because Dr. Phil asked me to.
Sorry if you've seen it before:

How to ruin a romantic evening...

(tomsk, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:25, archived)

well, I thought it was funny.

And had a modicum of potential.

Oh, just shoot me - it'll be a kindness really - put me out of my misery.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:29, archived)

tomsk

has got a lovely clean-shaven bottom...

(

isthisyou?, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:31, archived)

arf!

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:33, archived)

How to REALLY ruin a romantic evening...

(BOON ARMY Cadet Professional Lurker, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:52, archived)

ahhhhh....

much better, back to normality on B3TA after the moralising debate earlier. I feel all warm inside again..... but not in a perverted way or anything like that.....

(hazey, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:31, archived)

so morality

is a bad thing?
edit: attempt to goad hazey into heated intellectual debate fails miserably... oh well.

(

isthisyou?, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:36, archived)

oh hossanna....

no, im not saying that at all. i could debate the worlds ills and wrongdoings at length but B3TA should be a place for me to giggle while working. not get depressed at the state of modern society, that is obvious enough when i walk down the street thanks. Im not being oblivious to your earlier point, i understand completely and appreciate what you were saying, i just want to laugh on B3TA. Either that or im just a shallow, selfish bastard. Knowhumsayin?

Oh and you managed. bugger. im so gullible. shiiiitttt.....

(hazey, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:45, archived)

b3ta's not just about making you laugh.

I like the debates. Makes a change from endless pictures of phallic golf trophies for a start. Who put you in charge of board content anyway?

(tomsk, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:50, archived)

*sniff*

you're all going to make me cry now. maybe i have a gift for offending people, i certainly seem to. i shall stop talking now then and run to the toilet and cry.
Christ, i fookin give up, i really fookin do...
*SORRY*

(hazey, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:54, archived)

ooops.

Sorry. Saw red then. That was a bit mean.
All I'm trying to say is that b3ta is democratic: you post something, and if it's interesting, you get a reply, if it's dull, it gets ignored. So when there's a big debate going on, that's cos some people on the board care.
If you find it boring, ignore it.
Sorry I offended you. Didn't mean to.

(tomsk, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:58, archived)

what

he said

(

isthisyou?, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:01, archived)

fair point

dont know what it is with me, i seem to have a knack at this shit when i really dont mean offence. honest. im a bit fucked off now and am about to be plunged into a world of the ever reliable radiohead to make me feel like poo. i'll maybe just stick to spectating in future, my reverse midas touch, or faecal touch, seems to work even in cyber space. bugger (or impressive, whichever way you want to look at it).
apologies tho, i wasnt dictating nufink, just in need of a laugh, thats all.

(hazey, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:03, archived)

S'okay.

Sorry I snapped at you.

(tomsk, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:07, archived)

hey hazey, chill

why not take a moment to photshop a kitten - its very theraputic.

or you could show us some of these door textures your making..

(

DaWolfey, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:00, archived)

i should do

that would take me to a owrld of niceness. i like kittens in funny pictures. im easy pleased. i dont know how post anything cos i would if i could. i could post up a collection of about 3 dozen doors. any type you want, electric, swinging, revolving, house, garage, shop. moses...

(hazey, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:05, archived)

it sounds to me like you need

a handy guide!
and id like to see a revolving door please :)

(

DaWolfey, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:12, archived)

ok then

i'll have a go at dinnertime then. it'll be possibly the most boring post ever. one of my door textures, jeez.

(hazey, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:16, archived)

well, yes... but...

you aren't in charge either.
Why does this keep happening on the threads I start?

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:54, archived)

hee

hee

(

isthisyou?, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:57, archived)

I know I'm not in charge.

God, I give up.
But there'd be less pictures of golf trophies if I was...

(tomsk, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:01, archived)

no-one's in charge

that's the point, innit

(

isthisyou?, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:03, archived)

Hazey Hazey

Chill it out kiddo - you are very welcome and should keep contributing and don't get freaked out. Some of the best stuff on the board ever has been rants and discussions - look, you've even got me joining in and I usually only spring up when I have a new black and white penguin-fellating pic to show.

(

fishbear, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:09, archived)

thank you. i'll shush now, look at the mess ive created with one off-hand comment. Incredible, it should be my super power 'the faecal touch'. Maybe i am a super hero and just dont know it :)

(hazey, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:13, archived)

What about

Rob and Cal?

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:10, archived)

They only delete

if it's too rude/NSFW, not if it's boring.

(tomsk, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:12, archived)

Toot

Rue. But they are technically in charge.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:31, archived)

h-man

you're fine, and i feel bad for having got into this.

you post what you want, i'll post what i want... is what it's all about.

(

isthisyou?, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:21, archived)

i know,

thank you, but i fink its a mess of my own creating. as per-fookin-usual.
Hossanna is all i can say....

(hazey, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:23, archived)

And

Moses

(Amerella, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:32, archived)

yep

well, s[pooted. maybe i need some other biblical type things as my exclamations. hmmmm......ezekial doesnt really have the same ring to it though...

(hazey, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:35, archived)

Amerella

don't start

(

isthisyou?, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:36, archived)

I could certainly think

of a few things to do, if only I had the photoshopness.

(Amerella, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:32, archived)

talking of

romance tomsk

*snigger*
(sorry)

(

stouffer, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:02, archived)

You utter bastard!

Heh. That's top.
Right. C'mon post a pic of your head, it's only fair.

(tomsk, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:06, archived)

reluctantly

best i can do m'afraid

(

stouffer, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:12, archived)

Right.

I shall have my revenge. Oh yes.
*schemes
*plots
Heheheheheh...

(tomsk, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:13, archived)

My, what girly eyelashes you have.

Bastard.

(Amerella, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:16, archived)

believe it

or not, they are oft commented on. i'm very proud.

(

stouffer, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:17, archived)

I do believe. I have shorter eyelashes that the b/f.

I saw a man with a neaderthal forehead on the tube and his eyelashes stuck out even further than that. Grrr, boys don't care, why do they get 'em?

(Amerella, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:25, archived)

Cracking

it took me a few secs to notice the difference

(sorry tomsk)

(Amerella, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:14, archived)

what difference?

what I want to know is, how did stouffer get hold of our holiday snaps?

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:21, archived)

Haven't you got that one

on your wall?

(Amerella, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:23, archived)

on't

mantlepiece, actually.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:27, archived)

Indeed.

You've installed a mantlepiece just for that pic?

(Amerella, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:33, archived)

TJ Kitty!

(BOON ARMY Cadet Professional Lurker, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:23, archived)

clapclapclapclapclap

Oh yes. Oh yes indeedio. Fanfucksocksingtastic!

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:33, archived)

Yay!

My first front page...
[insert woo yay here since I haven't come up with an original and witty one yet]
(just imagine one for now!)

(BOON ARMY Cadet Professional Lurker, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:00, archived)

For the butchers out there

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:22, archived)

no you're right

looks like a pair of old socks

(

adverse_camber, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:25, archived)

my mum swears that

when they were growing up in Oldham they'd get a pig's trotter to munch on instead of an ice-cream.

(

isthisyou?, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:28, archived)

We were dog-sitting my mates mates

very slobbery and horrible dogs once, when the mates dad came round with a bag of pigs ears for them.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew. Not nice.

(Amerella, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:33, archived)

in Thailand

you can buy pigs' ears and noses on the street
well, it's only a pre-processed sausage, innit?

(

isthisyou?, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:40, archived)

lick road clean wit' tongue

etc etc..

(

adverse_camber, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:33, archived)

Could this be....

The new French Cabinet after May 5th elections?

(HelloTeeth, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:20, archived)

the fear

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:22, archived)

(tomsk, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:33, archived)

for the geeks out there

(

adverse_camber, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:12, archived)

hehe

TCPIP(e)

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:14, archived)

I can see this

going on and on... :)

I'm just waiting for "Ceci n'est pas une glass cock" ...

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:14, archived)

Shhhhhhhhhh!

Stop that.

(tomsk, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:16, archived)

Sorry. It is at least more interesting that The One Who's Name Must Never EVER Be Mentioned.

Actually, no its not.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:17, archived)

moses

i wont even try to understand that number. i can imagine geeks everywhere are pissing their pants tho.....

(hazey, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:14, archived)

but surely

"named pipe" has to be checked for that one to work?

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:16, archived)

think it works

on both levels really. At the end of the day it's a jpg file innit?

(

adverse_camber, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:18, archived)

(tomsk, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:04, archived)

you're sweet

thank you

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:04, archived)

You wouldn't have thought

it was difficult to get a decent picture of a crackpipe off the interweb, would you? Well, it is. Cor.

(tomsk, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:06, archived)

you never posted that bath picture for me

did you? Pleeease... I would email you but you don't seem to check it very often...

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:09, archived)

Eh? What bath picture?

(tomsk, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:10, archived)

the one

i *emailled* to you. You really don't check it, do you?

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:17, archived)

^^^

done...

(tomsk, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:28, archived)

No it's not

you just need to know where to look...

*hides behind crackhead*

Send someone Crack here

(

Ted, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:27, archived)

I wanted one in profile

though. Ver ver difficult.

(tomsk, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:28, archived)

you took a picture of your own pipe?

(crazymum, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:34, archived)

Heh.

My mum's actually.

(tomsk, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:36, archived)

Ahh the truth is out

Actually my pipe is made from an old pepsi can and some tinfoil...That up there is the deluxe model that only rich crackheads can afford to steal.

(

Ted, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:38, archived)

tomsk

you have totally made my last two days at work. respect.

(squeaks, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:07, archived)

Aww! Thank you!

I have to get some work done now, so there's gonna be less from me for a bit. Back soon though...

(tomsk, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:09, archived)

he came from the sky

(

breel, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:00, archived)

if i had the time -

I would show a shot of the landing pad - 4 socks ready and waiting.
sadly - I don't.

(

pep, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:02, archived)

Animgif! Animgif!

Someone must do this dog landing in four waiting socks...

or better... those slipper/legwarmer combo things that Breel did...

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:03, archived)

OOOOOOOH!

And when it lands it should say "Houpla!"

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:19, archived)

is he after the mice?

or are they all coming to get us b3tans...?

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:04, archived)

no they are all after their breakfast

scrambled eggs and tea.

Has anyone heard from Si_W, Joel or Hugo_rune yet?

(

breel, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:13, archived)

Depends on the timescale

since when?

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:15, archived)

Hugo

was in the pub yesterday. I haven't heard from him yet today.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:18, archived)

yeah I was in the pub with him

(

breel, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:32, archived)

At a guess I would say

they're all still in bed...?

(Amerella, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:15, archived)

exactly where I should be

after drinking that much last night. I should have learnt from friday, b3ta + beers = giggles, woo - head next day.

(

breel, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:19, archived)

Tsk tsk,

well I'm impressed you got into work then :)

(Amerella, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:22, archived)

actually

I want some scrambled eggs, and a cup of tea. And possibly a few fried tomatoes.
Darn it, can't they bring some back for me?

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:31, archived)

you have to ask nicer than that

(

breel, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:36, archived)

Please may I have

some scrambled eggs and some tea, please. Many, many thanks in advance for your kindness.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:56, archived)

...Hmm

I started this with good intentions..but my creative juicies (snigger) ran out..

Feel free to add, add, and add away..

(Jamsie, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 9:57, archived)

des has a secret he wants to share with you...

(

big daft dave, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 9:56, archived)

Couldn't fit

"zebra bastard zabra zebra zebra fucker" then?

It's quality!! Drugged-up looking Des too, Woo!

(

vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 9:59, archived)

eh? is

"zebra bastard zabra zebra zebra fucker" des's other secret?

(

big daft dave, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:03, archived)

the other secret

apart from his being gay, of course?

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:05, archived)

he has a secret minge?

or he secretly dresses as miffy?

(

the triple legendary unicorn, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:07, archived)

He seems to be holding

An inflated Iguana's Scrotum

(

Silentbob, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:09, archived)

eeew

i am never buying a balloon again

(

the triple legendary unicorn, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:12, archived)

the only secret i knew about

was that he dresses as miffy and likes minges, but I have now learnt he is gay and has a thing about zebras.... fascinating

(

big daft dave, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:13, archived)

He IS gay though.

He is.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:19, archived)

He DOES have a thing about zebras though.

He does.

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:20, archived)

he did date

a bond girl lady boy once.

Which was an unexpected story on many levels.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:21, archived)

well,

who hasn't?

(

isthisyou?, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:26, archived)

explain the bond girl lady boy

I am all 'ears'

(

big daft dave, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:30, archived)

nice

doggie!

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:31, archived)

that ain't no doggy

that's me when i'm REALLY listening.

(

big daft dave, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:42, archived)

then I would like to meet you

and scratch your nose gently.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:50, archived)

I prefer

a light tickle under the chin

(

big daft dave, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:10, archived)

Never heard it referred to

as a 'chin' before ;)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:34, archived)

can we interview

Gonzales?

he should be an honorary b3tan because he wears safari suits and orks on his press shots:

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 9:50, archived)

now

theres a suggestion! Just been listening to his new album, fokkin mint. the perfect candidate for an interview i fink...

(hazey, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 9:53, archived)

Hell yeah..

Really want to know his preference between parental units and potatoe based products...

(BOON ARMY Cadet Professional Lurker, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:01, archived)

I worked on a show...

...that interviewed Gonzales and his then partner 'Musical Truth'.
They were the strangest, most ridiculous pair we'd ever done.
so, yeah...perfect for B3ta!

(

rufus, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 11:22, archived)

my first time - be gentle with me

(

adverse_camber, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 9:41, archived)

woo -

a nice nw woo yay - well done you
:)

(

pep, Wed 24 Apr 2002, 10:01, archived)

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