When I bathe my kids
I. . .best not to say it really
(le renard, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 15:58, Reply)

I'm sorry to be boring
But I don't think I've ever found anything accidentally erotic.
(Woodgie is back, but for how long?, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 15:54, Reply)

Ruth Kelly vs Eggy Goodness
Um. Was surprisingly, err, 'moved' by the photo with this article:

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/4685496.stm

Don't ask me why the sight of an alleged Opus Dei member covered in eggy-goodness should be so stirring. But it was.

EDIT: I've changed my mind. Endorsing egg-throwing is one step down from custard pies and that's the start of the slippery slope that eventually leads to being Noel Edmonds (and that's just wrong).
(Wascally Weasel now with 100% fewer jokes., Mon 6 Feb 2006, 15:18, Reply)

Homo Pride
As a young teenager I once had an erotic dream about Fred from the Home Pride adverts.
( my name is will, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 15:12, Reply)

harry p...?
hell yeah.

and yes, in "azkaban".

and although i didn't fancy him in "chamber of secrets" (that really would be too much) one could tell that he was going to grow up to be fine.

ditto the hammond. and Alan Rickman's voice.

*sticks on "Sense and Sensibility", doesn't bother watching, nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggYES!!!!*
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 14:47, Reply)

Get Fuzzy
Get Fuzzy is an ace comic strip, but I find myself strangely attracted to Rob, they guy who owns Bucky and Satchel. I think its cos he likes Monty Python and Harry Potter...

Yes to Richard Hammond. We NEED to get Top Gear in the states.

Oh, and Emily Bruce-Dickinson - yes to Azkaban. But don't tell anyone.
(kitteny_goodness, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 14:40, Reply)

The rabbit from the Caramel advert

When I was about 8 years old, I used to get extremely strange feelings down below when that cartoon rabbit from the Cadbury’s Caramel advert was on TV. She used to giggle, and said something like “Relax, with Cadbury’s Caramel” in a very, very dirty tone of voice.

I was foolish enough to tell my older brother about this, who ridiculed me for the next 20 years. This only stopped in summer 2004, when he mentioned it in front of his new girlfriend. As he sat there, rolling around laughing, and she looked extremely embarrassed, I reminded him of an incident that occurred around the same time. After watching an episode of Playschool in which the female presenter took off her socks and shoes, he asked my mum over dinner: “Mummy, why does my willy go hard when I see lady’s feet?”

That shut the kunt up.
(geegee, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 14:26, Reply)

mmmmmm....
i was only little, but the guys who did work experience at my primary school. *sighs* they were all so fit!

getting them to hold my hand at break times and lunchtimes was easy

it was the hugs from them that were the hardest to get (no pun intended....i am a girl)


also having to stand next to people on the bus. i don't know if its the vibtrations or being so close to them tends to get me rather *ahem* flustered
(lola_fish, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 13:48, Reply)

Nipplerings at 12 o'clock
I once had a job in a cybercafé, and from where I sat I could see all the customers, side on (but not their screens, which was a really stupid arrangement, but I digress). One day, the nearest customer to me was a skinny japanese punkette, wearing a black sleeveless t-shirt. When she leaned forward to the keyboard, I suddenly had a clear view in one armhole and out the other, interrupted only by her safety-pin pierced nipples. *twang*
(Plyck, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 13:43, Reply)

Porn
Indeed. Oh wait...
(Lannes, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 13:37, Reply)

Thanks, Mr Timmels
I'm not the only one! Thank god! My girlfriend takes it as a sign of insincerity, which can sometimes lead to more tears, which of course doesn't help matters...

EDIT: Not with you on the rape bit, obviously...
(Plyck, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 13:37, Reply)

DrTugnut
I play the Cello. Fancy coming over sometime...?
(The_Reaper, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 13:33, Reply)

Time Team
There i am sat there merrily channel chopping through Freeview yesterday and i happen upon Time Team. Now i quite like it anyway so put it on for a bit.

Now, ive never really had the horn through it before but yesterday was differnet.

It was a nice sunny day and in the background you could see the lady archeologists in those skimpy vest tops, loose fitting, no bra, shorts, legs on show, skin glistening with a lil sweat, hair scraped back and ruflled and their bodies tinted with soil from the dig bending over scraping soil. All of a sudden i was aware i was enjoying this a little too much and beofre i knew it was imagining taking one in my arms, making my way to the finds tent, sweeping finds onto the floor (destroying history- meh!!) and ravaging sed image of horniness right there in the middle of a field in hot summer.

MMM. mmm. mmmmmmmmmmm
(Keyser Soze, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 13:27, Reply)

My cat
Honestly it's not as bad as it sounds! I love boys in makeup & my cat looks like he is wearing the most perfectly applied eyeliner ever...
So my cat has very sexy eyes. But only because he makes me think of Brian Molko, yummy piratey Johnny Depp etc. Not cause I like cats 'in that way'.
(deadly, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 12:45, Reply)

Plyck
Plyck, I get that too... My girlfriend is very emotional, and so I've seen her cry quite a few times. And I always start getting hard when she cries. I worry that it's because the idea of rape turns me on. I think I will need to test out that theory, and report back later.
(Mr Timmels, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 12:40, Reply)

Reassuring Hugs of Embarrasment
For some reason, whenever I give a female person in distress a comforting hug, I always get the horn. I don't know whether it's the touching or their vulnerability, but I've mastered the art of hugging with only the top half of my body so as not to accidentally prod them.
It's like my heart is saying 'is there anything I can do to make you feel better' and my libido is raising its 'hand' to make a suggestion.
(Plyck, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 12:33, Reply)

My sister gave me the horn
I'm 19, my sister is 16. We generally get on well and hug a lot and stuff. I'm a weird person, so occasionally I will poke people in the cheek, or bite their arm, or things like that.

Now, I found out recently that when my girlfriend licks my ear, it gets me in the mood *instantly*. I have no idea why, but it means she can (and does) turn me on at the most inappropriate times.

As I said, my sister and I hug each other and poke each other and bite each other. So one time she bit my ear, and I got insatiably horny. This was not good. We don't speak so much these days...



Edit: I really do hope she doesn't check these pages anymore.
(Mr Timmels, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 12:25, Reply)

Coach Travel....
I really have no idea why, but something about the gentle vibration of the engine and the mild boredom of travelling long distances on a coach always seems to give me a stiffy... Always embarrassing, and no doubt very inapropriate!
(Captain Happy, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 12:18, Reply)

Willow!
God knows why but that bit in Willow where the whole army turned into pigs used to give a mild one when I was about 5. I remember being rather confused by these new sensations...

First post, YAY!

"You Can't Drink A Pint Of Bovril!"
(J-Form, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 12:06, Reply)

ludditefreak, I know what you mean!
That teeny tiny science loving pocket sized car enthusiast, grr all over!

I watch Top Gear everyday and I'm still not sure what it's about!

Glad I'm not the only one *relurks to the Hammond Shrine*
(carpediem, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 11:48, Reply)

Cello's
Originally it was probably down to seeing a woman with spread legs and a large instrument between between them - now if I so much as hear it, or see one in a shop I start to get a stiffy.
(DrTugnut, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 11:29, Reply)

Accidentally Erotic????
Was (walking about), (shopping), (sitting on bus/train/tube), looking out of window, etc.

Saw cute girlie - got the horn.

inappropriately - Well looking at hotness would be the best time to get the horn.
Means you care.
(waxdart hello., Mon 6 Feb 2006, 11:21, Reply)

mini man
Richard Hammond....it's so wrong, but I am totally aroused during Top Gear and enjoyed last years coverage of Crufts to a worrying degree...
(ludditefreak, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 11:09, Reply)

Lust in an Elevator
As a teenager I once got accidentally groped by a girl I fancied - we were in a lift and she was standing in front of me and to one side. More people got on and so we backed up to give them room - but she stepped a little too far back and her hand ended up briefly cupping my happysack. I yelped, she blushed, and I thought of no-one else for weeks.

Oh, and cartoon girls, oh yes. There's no shame in fancying Aeris or Yuffie - they're designed to appeal to a certain demographic after all. What would be weird would be drawing your own 'fanart' depicting them naked, blushing and with excessively large mumbas, being done over by tentacles so as to fuel your own masturbatory fantasies and those of your geeky netfriends. You know who you are.
(Plyck, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 10:50, Reply)

Accidentally Erotic
Optician's too for me. Sadly it's not everyday that a gorgeous black girl, dressed in a pinstripe skirt suit, breathes in my ear whilst gazing in my eyes (even if it is through some instrument!)in a darkened room. I don't know whehther the worst part was the optician sensing my discomfort and asking me if I was alright several times or having to shuffle out of the room in an awkward gait, trying to hide the bulge in my trousers!
( Vambo, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 10:47, Reply)

Accidentally
Well there was this one time my dad mistook me for my mom in the dark when I was asleep on the couch... I had no idea they were still like that towards each other (mindbleach, por favor)!!!
(Kitsune-chan I'm not a bunny I'm a grownup girl, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 9:48, Reply)

Form 2 PE class ...
... was generally co-ed and this particular school had a most peculiar girls' PE uniform item called "rompers". They were a sort of nappy-shaped elasticised shorts that showed far, far more of the owner's legs than was strictly necessary. The reader can imagine the effect on any nearby 12 year old boy with his system already gummed up with oozing hormones. Just as well my todger was scarcely noticeable even in it's operational state.
Turns out the rompers had been designed by the headmaster, a haunted man who was finally persuaded to find another vocation after enticing two romper-wearers to play hopscotch in his office.
So I owe my first adolescent boners to a depraved old nonce.
Euugh.
(mudskipper, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 7:59, Reply)

Anti-erotic
When a wee lad, I was lying on my back in bed in the morning with my blankets pulled tight across me, drifting in and out of sleep, with a delightful little stiffy mountain patently obvious to anybody who cared to even glance briefly in my direction. I suppose I was dreaming about Arcee from the Transformers. Anyway, my mother came in to potter about and pick up my socks & jocks for the daily wash, looked over at me, and *snorted*. In my family, there's this derisive half-chuckle/half-snort thing you do when something is vaguely amusing but not worthy of a guffaw, and that's the sound my mother made when she saw my tiny, erect weewee.

I also got an erection in Latin Catholic mass once (I am now, thankfully, an unapologetic polyatheist, and I'm sorry but that's just the way it is) because there was a hot girl in the pew in front of me, and for some reason I was imagining what she would look like with spunk in her hair (pretty much the same, except stickier and *loving it*), so I had to excuse myself from the service to shake my dice in the gent's.
(The Turgid Dahlia, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 6:03, Reply)

Kiki's not the only one that likes to be naked for money.
I have done some art modelling myself, and I get quite horny during the classes. I guess it's not such a horrible experience considering I'm female and nobody can tell when I'm thinking dirty thoughts.

During the long poses, stretched out on a pile of pillows, I imagine that scene in Titanic. I just have to imagine the artist as someone other than Leo DiCaprio as he does nothing for me at all.

For me, the money is just an added perk. :-)
(ghettobooty, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 4:28, Reply)

Bromley Horn
Sitting on the back seat of my Mum's Ford Escort driving down Bromley High Street in the early 80's aged 4, I spotted a mannequin in a leopard print bikini. Got a right old stiffy (probably about 2 inches at the time) and then informed my Mum that 'my willy's gone all hard.'
(franks, Mon 6 Feb 2006, 1:47, Reply)