Yeah, I know this isn't exactly maturity central
... and I wasn't accusing racetraitor of not being comfortable with having a gay friend. The point I was trying to make was it didn't seem in any way, shape or form relevant to the story what sexuality the guy was!

Maybe it's just because I'm Ill just now.

Anyway, apologies to everyone who was offended, took my comments the wrong way etc.
(lawofnations, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 22:09, Reply)

FlatteredBaps
No. What gave you that idea?
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Thu 9 Feb 2006, 20:51, Reply)

My mate
Marmite
(MrAux, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 19:25, Reply)

My kids have a casino game CD
that has "go fish" on it (of all things).

There is a character, Jessica, who has a really sexy voice. And the way she says "do you have any aces?" sounds a little like she's saying "asses." Imagining what else she could be saying involving that word, including what I could do to hers, got me all distracted.

Maybe some perv like me wrote the game?
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 19:19, Reply)

Alexandrine...
I fancied Christina Ricci when she was in the Addam's Family Values... but then again, I went to see that at the cinema when I was about 9.

Edit: Actually, just checked and it seems I was 7. I fancied her SO much, and I remember being quite upset that I was so much younger than her, cos that meant she probably wouldn't want to go out with me. Nevermind the whole being a millionaire movie star who lives hundreds of miles away - age is the most important factor
(Mr Timmels, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 19:04, Reply)

Goldfrapp
Going to see them tonight in Brixton. Be still my beating heart...
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 16:59, Reply)

Dancing Horsey Girls
Have to admit that the girls who dance for Goldfrapp dressed in white with tails and bit mirrored horses heads...maybe not accidental though...
( Dancingmeerkat, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 16:56, Reply)

gleeballs
do I take it that you work from home then?
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 16:17, Reply)

Erm
I got so bored waiting for the question to change that I've just had a wank. Does that count?
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Thu 9 Feb 2006, 15:29, Reply)

Haircuts
As a teenager, nothing was quite as illicitly arousing as having my hair cut by the barber's young female assisstant.

I'd sit there nervously, lank and somewhat spotty, and this young busty lady would wash and comb my hair... style it as handsomely as it could be... cutting and combing... pressed up against me in the chair...

Oh, excuse me. I think I've come.
( no cake for the impuritay Patrick Stewart hasn't aged since, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 15:19, Reply)

I won't go into detail but...
girls with low self esteem.
( busy phil is still bloody busy, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 13:03, Reply)

Boots
No not the things you wear on your feet, I can't walk into a Boots store without feeling turned on. There's just something about the women in their wearing their cheap white work clothes, especially the ones working on the cosmetic counters.

Its like paradise and hell in one high street shop, i enjoy it a little too much but i fear getting caught :(
(Laxly, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 12:49, Reply)

Alexandrine
Nope... Its not just you.

Must stop talking about her now.. I'm at work.

Fnarrrr

Edit: Oh, and reading Flangella's comment just down from here made me get the horn.
(Black_Dwarf frawD_kcalB, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 12:29, Reply)

Shoulders.
Call me odd, but just the sight of a girl's bare shoulders - or even covered by a strappy top - is enough to get me going.

EDIT: Just reading the question again, I haven't answered it correctly, so I'll offer up the sight of surgeons with dog's heads on in the last-but-one Goldfrapp video (think it was for Number 1?)
(jamesthegill opens new tabs with his scroll wheel, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 11:57, Reply)

Sharing is cathartic...
My children have a Balamory game which involves throwing a dice to choose pieces of a jigsaw puzzle to assemble into one of the characters.

For some reason, evereytime I join Miss Hoolie's legs to her body, I find it mildly arousing. That's right, making Miss Hoolie's legs in a jigsaw gives me a tingling sensation down there.

This does not happen with Edie Mcreedy, Josie Jump (although the original Josie Jump is quite fit) or Penny Pocket - obviously because her legs are in a wheel chair.

So there: I suffer from BalaHooliePuzzlephilia and I look forward to having BalaHooliePuzzle painted in big red letters on my front door and somebody throwing yoghurt pots through my window.

I think the government should be spending more on researching this kind of illness.
( Roland E O'Dorant R Tape loading error, 0:1, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 10:31, Reply)

9 volt batteries
..you know, the square ones. I used to get an 'odd' enjoyment out of putting them in the bath under water. Jesus, it's a miracle I didn't turn out to be a kitten drowning wife basher.
(Vectrex, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 10:20, Reply)

Christina Ricci
She is "Accidentally Erotic" if you happen to fancy her in The Addams Family when she was about 13 years old.

That'd be just me then...
(Iris_Wildthyme is three sheets to the wind, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 9:47, Reply)

Christina Ricci
Oh yeah... She must surely be the sexiest woman that has ever walked the planet. However, she's hardly "accidentally erotic" as I find her very erotic and that's no accident.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 9 Feb 2006, 9:10, Reply)

Male nurses
Well, it is a traditionally feminine job. It's like seeing a male stewardess--flight attendant. Could you picture a muscular dude with a handlebar moustache becoming a nurse?

By the way, I'm comfortable with my friend's sexuality, but I don't see the need to be totally serious about it. He enjoys joking around too, and he acts very stereotypically gay. Personally, I find a lot of the language people use on here offensive, particularly "jap's eye," but I don't see the need to object to it.
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 8:15, Reply)

chopper fun
has anyone mentioned anneka rice in those jump suits on treasure hunt . Then annabel croft .... nice that chopper saw some nice arse action.
.
oh yeah and those nice white uniforms dentists assistants wear where u can just make out flesh between the gaps in the buttons mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
(shaggly, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 8:05, Reply)

yeah, racetraitor...

...that'll learn you. everyone else on this website is mature, respectful and reasonable in their views. i find most topics of conversation wide ranging and emotive. and you go and post something like that.

shame on you
(geegee, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 7:42, Reply)

racetraitor
"I have a friend who works as a nurse. I know, it's a little weird to have a male nurse, but I will add that he is quite bisexual."

Why is it weird, and why should his sexuality matter?

"remember that the health professional has thoughts and feelings too."

And what are your friends thoughts and feelings about having his career choice being labelled weird, and then justified on the grounds that he's not 100% straight. I'm quite certain there are gay and bi doctors, just as there are gay, bi and straight male nurses.

Sorry this isn't quite on topic, and I hope I'm not coming across as being critical, but I have huge admiration for anyone who dedicates themselves to the care of others, especially with the state the NHS is in, so I just thought the comments were a little strange.
(lawofnations, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 7:24, Reply)

my friend...
said he liked Christina Ricci, 'because she has the body of a woman but the face of a child'.

I think he was partly deliberately being gross, but still.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 7:19, Reply)

Not me but a friend
I have a friend who works as a nurse. I know, it's a little weird to have a male nurse, but I will add that he is quite bisexual.

One of the straighter times, a patient of his was a very hot girl who was in for ulcerative colitis tests. That means camera up the backside. He had to administer an enema, and he could feel his heterosexuality stirring.

As is law, a nurse cannot really refuse to treat a patient. Their only chance is if the patient asks for a different nurse. Maybe this girl wouldn't want to be plugged and filled up by an effeminate male nurse, and would ask for a woman.

Nope. He bent the beautiful girl over, jammed it up her very fube ass, and filled her rectal cavity to capacity. It was not pleasant.

So for all of you telling stories about sexy moments with a doctor or nurse, remember that the health professional has thoughts and feelings too.
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 2:49, Reply)

Debbie McGee
Yep, Paul Daniels' missus - except by the time I was old enough to be able to woo her to the sexatorium I realised she looked like a turtle.

It's a shame. I liked her, not a lot, but I liked her.
(iwantacone, Thu 9 Feb 2006, 1:12, Reply)

hmm
risks.bmezine.com/?cmd=tope

www.b3ta.com/board/5619424

phwooaaar

That is all...
(Slartibartfast.... designer of coastlines, Wed 8 Feb 2006, 22:54, Reply)

Peppers...
I'd crawl though broken glass to stick matches in his shit.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Wed 8 Feb 2006, 21:37, Reply)

Passenger in my then boyfriends car
...and enduring the drive from Manchester to "darn Sarf". I have this tendency to fall asleep on long car journeys and vaguely remember having a naughty dream concerning me and Christina Ricci.

I woke up as my boyfriend pulled into the services, stretched and discovered that while I had been dreaming of indulging in fun times with Ms Ricci, the seam of my jeans had been pressing in exactly the right spot between my legs.

All I did was stretch and squeeze my legs together and *pop*; instant lady-orgasm. I had to bite my lip to stop me from moaning out loud.

I have tried to recreate that moment in the car many times but alas, no luck. Oh apart from the one time I was flicking the bean in the back of someone else's car while he and my boyfriend were oblivious in the front.

I likes driving, I do :)
(Flangella, Wed 8 Feb 2006, 21:30, Reply)

It was at work the other day, stacking shelves with candles, when I accidentally knocked a gel candle off the edge. Using my ninja-on-a-hot-tin-roof like speed, I caught it, but in such a way that my index and middle fingers ended up in the gel.
Now, I don't know if you've ever inserted your digits into a warm gel candle, but it feels supprisingly like another damp, warm and soft-yet-firm hole. And of course, the fingers looked the part when I pulled them out, glistening with clear sticky fluid.

I wonder what sort of a wank you could get using one of those things.
( Yeknom. Incontinence and Premature ejaculation? Easy come, easy go., Wed 8 Feb 2006, 21:24, Reply)

eeep
This is me FP, an i dont know bout the rest of u but goth/punk chicks do it for me every time


cough
( Wingnutt razzle dazzle my fantasmagazzle, Wed 8 Feb 2006, 19:50, Reply)