webuyanycar.com...
...his mum and dad must be so proud.

If I were his dad, I'd invite him round for dinner, wait for it to get dark, lure him out into the backyard, brain him with a shovel and then bury him under the shed, finally destroying any evidence that he ever existed.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:42, Reply)

Our school boycotted Tango
After some kid nearly got his eardrum burst from a Tango slap. Everyone was copying the fat orange guy from on the advert and as usual one twat just had to go too far.

Tango never regained it's popularity at the school again and the ad men changing the slap to a kiss didn't really do it any favours.
(Bo Nidle Coming back in from the cold., Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:37, 3 replies)

Tennants Pilsner FTW, and I defy you show me otherwise.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOVq7BhFpek
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:36, 1 reply)

The advert for the 'mask your shit stink' air freshener...
...with the kid squatting on the bog:

KID: It's all gone, it's all gone!
MUM: What's all gone?
KID: My fucking dignity, that's what. I'm divorcing my parents the moment they let me pull my pants up and get the fuck out of here. Don't they realise I have to show my face in school after this? Bastards.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:35, 2 replies)

My favourite advert ever
I first saw this advert on a trip to Tokyo in 2005, when I was on my gap year. I popped into the ADMT (Advertising Museum Tokyo) www.admt.jp/en/index.html and this, from memory, had recently won an award. I was so taken by it I'm not ashamed to say I shed a few tears in the middle of the museum.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpf2hsZGsJM

Enjoy.
(Mr_Egregious, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:34, 2 replies)

They should come with a health warning.
First time poster, long time lurker etc etc.

Halifax adverts. Give me the proper rage. Whoever came up with their latest offering needs a severe face burning.
GoToMeeting. Give me strength!!!! 'If I need to touch a customer' What are you? a prostitute????? Commenting on the rest of that advert will probably send me over the edge.

If I ever see these ads one after the other, I'll quite possibly explode with incandescent rage.
(Charlie 1%er, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Any advert for cars that features a person driving it...
...seriously, is there a special acting agency that specialises in smug-looking shitbags?
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:27, Reply)

bunch of twats
the new Halifax ads ...what were they thinking
picture the scene.....the ad maker pitches to the execs of Halifax.....'we thought we would try piss off as many people as possible to put them off using the Halifax so you fat bastards don't get any bonus this year.....it is the most annoying advert ever....bar the bogof from safestyle.
The crusha advert wins the best ever ad award....especially the dancing cow.
(Jessypuss Fiddling with stuff since 1957, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:25, Reply)

And that 'razor in the garage' Gillette ad...
...goes like this in my head:

GARAGE BLOKE: You need to change the blades for a smoother riiiiiiiide when the blue stripe goes the colour of your grandad's undercrackers.
COOKIE-CUTTER METROSEXUAL: How could I have missed that?
ME: Because you're a cunt.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:14, 5 replies)

Muller Lite/Corner/Whatever adverts...
...have made me despise Nina Simone with a passion, and she really doesn't deserve it.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:10, 1 reply)

Got my berry, got my cherry
Got my biscuit, got me crunch

Got my foot in your fucking face, more like.
(secretsquirrel, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:08, 1 reply)

That advert for that thing with those people in it is really
annoying/great*


*delete as appropriate. Content may settle in transit. Not actual size. Terms and conditions apply. Your home may be at risk if you do not keep up with repayments.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:04, Reply)

Cinema Ads
A cinema audience, waiting for the film to start, is a trapped audience (mostly).
In the olden days, that would mean watching scratchy cheapo adverts for the tile warehouse down near the industrial estate.
In the modern era, it means that advertising executives can fling trite aspirational claptrap into our eyeballs.

And without having to worry about convincing their clients that their pitch will not make viewers turn over/mute/leave the room, it seems that ad execs take this opportunity to attempt to really speak to the public.

This results in adverts by ad execs, featuring people dressed as ad execs (boy men non-suit and metrosexual hairdo), doing things ad execs like to do (driving shiny cars through neon lit streets), in artistic settings that ad execs think are nice (south-east asian beaches at sunrise).

Clueless fuckwits showing their fantasy world that I can't escape without saying "Sorry scuse me sorry scuse me sorry scuse me" and then missing that trailer of that film which I really DID want to see.
(theremin put the lotion in the basket on, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 16:00, 2 replies)

The Skills Center
They offer courses in plumbing, gas, joinery and "electrical".

But not acting.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uagGkbeiISI
(Axeman Jim, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Blackcurrant Tango - St George
This ad was just perfect

Back in it's day, it took an entire ad-break, and it is such a perfect mixture of 'did I just see that' and 'did they just say that' that you have to replay it. Utterly brilliant.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=opCecHAjzeQ
( 0nyx, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:51, 3 replies)

TV adverts make me sad.
Warning: Waffling...

There are some fantastic works of art out there in TV ad world at the moment. Despite how annoying I find it (and discovering how utterly, utterly useless the company actually is), the Compare the Market/Meerkat ad campaign is marvellously contructed. You've got cheeky, likeable CGI characters with storylines running over several months, they've got facebook pages where they post regular updates, you can download ringtones of the jingles, and I've heard kids excitedly singing it several times.

You can fucking BUY a churchill dog. You can... you... y... you can PAY your own money to ADVERTISE a company.

Howard from the Halifax TV ads was the "star" opening a new branch of Halifax a few years ago.

The ubiquitous WeBuyAny... yeah you know... has has people remixing their tunes and playing them in clubs.

People are willingly doing advertising work for free, and they're enjoying it.

I could (and quite often do) go on and on and on about this.

The thing that utterly KILLS me about this though is the fact that I'm finding more and more that TV ads are better than the programs they're actually sponsoring. This used to be a cliche, but it really is becoming more and more apparent. There are some brilliantly creative and imaginative minds working in advertising. I'm assuming it pays much better than writing for actual telly programs.

We've got litres of homogenised slop being farted into our eyes by TV channel execs worrying so much about whether their target audiences will like what they're making that they don't want to take any risks releasing something original... bloody karaoke style talent shows bringing absolutely nothing of any worth to our screens and lowest-common-denominator crap from people they've discovered on youtube (I'm not bitter. Honest.)

However, in TV commercial land, there are loads of imaginative, catchy, memorable, original commercials from people that aren't afraid to be different. People that want to try new stuff. People with jobs that mean they *have* to stand out from everything else.

Sure - there are good and bad TV programs, there are good and bad adverts, but as it stands at the moment, TV ads have the best balance.

TV ads are paid for by companies to get us to give them more of our money. And not only are we doing this, but we're actually helping them sell their products by eagerly talking about them and referencing them like we used to talk about classic TV shows or music. "Oooh, did you see that drumming gorilla?", "Those meerkats are brilliant aren't they?", "AVE IT!", "Hey, I fancy one of them cars made out of cake", "Moooonpiiiig dot commmmmm!!!", "Accrington Stanley? Who are they?", "WAAAAAAH BODYFORM!".

Adverts. I both loathe them and appreciate them. They're necessary but they're manipulative. They're created simply for financial gain, but we remember the GoCompare guy better than we remember last week's Dr Who.

Adverts: I hate what they stand for.
The advertising industry: Some of the most talented people in the world.

I hate them. I love them.

Help me.

Additional: And when I heard kids running around singing "one one eight! twenty four seven!", i had to try very, very hard not to weep uncontrollably. I know Jonti has to make his money, but I do wish people would appreciate the original more :-/
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:51, 3 replies)

I miss the Lilt Ladies...
...this became my favourite Levis ad - interesting-if-slightly-nonsensical like most Levis ads these days, and I liked the soundtrack:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TRM23PlmoQ

But then the Lilt Ladies totally blew it away with this:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWakvH1mvNQ

Brilliant :D
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:48, 1 reply)

Fnar fnar.

(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:31, 1 reply)

The red car and the blue car
The red car and blue car had a race
All red wanted was stuff his face
He eats everything he sees
From cars to prickely trees
Something something
Something
(Abercadabra looks more like Gerry Adams every day, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:29, 2 replies)

Any cinema movie advert...
...which is being endorsed by Paul Ross.

Cunt off already.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:22, 1 reply)

IKEA kitchen squad
YOU JUST SET FIRE TO MY KITCHEN AND EVERYTHING IN IT AND REPLACED IT WITH A POORLY MADE SET OF SHINY CUPBOARDS YOU UTTER BUNCH OF ASSHATS.

and stop pretending to be Swedish...
(Alphabet Soap boshboshboshbosh, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:22, Reply)

Not TV ads...
"Cold..................................SEALWINDOWS-0-800-22-11-55
Coldseal Windows 0-800 22 11 55"

Or

"Chapelhouse, Chapelhouse chap-chap-Chapelhouse
Chapelhouse, Chapelhouse chap-chap-Chapelhouse
Chapelhouse, Chapelhouse Chapelhouse, Chapelhouse
Chap Chap Chap-el-house!"

When written down, their idiocy is magnified.

"Sorry mate, sorry mate, when you get hit by a car call Sorry Mate"

At least that makes vague sense- though "bellow You fucking bellcheese, look at my shiny motorcycle and broken legs!" might be more appropriate than 'call Sorry mate'. Last thing you'd be is sorry. Or matey.

Coversely, as a small relative of mine takes great glee in singing along to the 'Go Compare' adverts, I actually find them quite endearing. She does have a slight tendency to replace the bits thats aren't 'GO COMPARE' with shouting 'DANCE!' though.
(Gertcha_cowson NAH MATE, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Menthos and Ricola
i always hated that some twat could just take a menthos and immediately solve whatever problem he had. I wish he just showed one up his arse instead.
Ricola I hate the stupid alpine horn they use. I wonder what it would be like to fart into the end of one.
(Fredis dead, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 15:01, 2 replies)

Rik Mayall advertising Super Nintendo
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsON9PJRR4g

I wanted Eddie to run in and start a brawl
(Lord Chode, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 14:58, 1 reply)

I'm rather fond of the old Ford "Lovely Day" advert
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFMaBA8jcUg

I remember watching it and the end bit of it made me go out and get driving lessons, so I could do exactly what that man did.

A few years later I did. And it was a lovely day. Besides the rain.
( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 14:57, Reply)

worst advert ever
HERE
(Claude Speed was a Roman called Claudius Speedicus, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 14:53, 7 replies)

Incoming moan and yes I see the irony
"I love this advert lol: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOU8GIRUd_g"
"I hate this advert grrr: www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1PBptSDIh8"

This isn't really telling us about TV adverts is it? Come on, at least say what the advert is that you are linking to, to save the trouble of having to click on the fucking thing and see it. Feel free to add why you hate/love it.

I am a cunt.
( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 14:48, 3 replies)

Anything with stupid statistics
Message: This stuff makes 99% of germs die. Therefore it's healthy! Buy it!

What I hear: Select only the toughest, meanest germs to breed in your house! Die horribly!

Message: Voted best haircare product of 2010 by Wimminzworld readers!

What I hear: We bribed a bunch of Wimminzworld readers with free samples.

Message: Look at how well Civet Bong cleans these coins!

What I hear: Look how we can't demonstrate it working on anything you would actually want to clean.

Message: New BonceBright shampoo with PentaMadeupothides, increases the appearance of healthy smelling hair.

What I hear: Mwah mwah mwaaaah mwahh mwaaah dribble belm.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 14:47, 1 reply)

Does anyone else remember...
an animated ad in the late '80s for Sun-pat that went along the lines;


"Horace seeks the nuttiest butty:
one slice of bread,
one garden shed,
one spud called fred,
wellies, jellies and soot.

All crunchy, no tasty Horace, try Sun-Pat peanut butter."
(MuckTrumpet is winking furiously, Fri 16 Apr 2010, 14:45, 1 reply)