ooh. I've got a better one
the guy who plays the next door neighbour in The Royle Family, and he was in Brassed Off too, taught my dad how to drive a truck.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 15:05, Reply)

Oh yesh
And I went to school with Sharon Carr - the 15 yr old who murdered a girl in our local town by stabbing her a coulple of 100 times all over her body. She had before this, stabbed another girl with a comb in the girls toilets as well as locking our femal french teacher in a cupboard for not having sex with her!! All true I tell you. And she used to grab my bollocks when I walked past her in the hall - didn't like that at all!!

Oh and the headmaster of that school was in the Sun for porking one of the pupils mothers on his desk! Dirty bastard!!
(maddave, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 15:04, Reply)

my father is from Cardiff
and his cousin married Shirley Bassey's adopted son.

My grandmother knew Ivor Novello when he was playing the clubs around Llandaff, before he found Hollywood fame.

I told an acquaintance here in Japan about the best beer i had ever had in my world travels, which is Cooper's Red label (an Australian 'live' beer).
His dad is very senior in one of the seven companies that run Japan.
A few months after our chat, we had our very own new "live" beer in Japan, made by Kirin.
It is identical to Cooper's Red.
I generally don't like rip-offs, but this one makes me very happy, quite regularly in fact.
(Man in Japan, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 15:04, Reply)

Im Lord Manley
Yes, THAT Lord Manley.
( Lord Manley of Ven www.justgiving.com/manley - please?, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 15:04, Reply)

tenuous...
um, my uncle was drummer in a band in the '80s who got to number 2, can't remember the song tho.

my brother's guitar teacher played for the Skinnerettes the other week (you know, Frank Skinner's house band)

My mum babysat Nigel Clough (Brian Clough's son) and also looked after the Undertones when they cam to Britain for the first time (being the sister of the drummer, she met a lot of people. she was also able to get in to hundreds of gigs in the 70s for free by knowing the lighting and sound crews, including one of the London Led Zepplin gigs featured on their DVD)

Some of my mates saw Dave Gorman in the Manchester Wetherspoons the other day. They have photos with him, Dave is typically pulling crazy faces. Nice bloke, apparently.
( mr_wicksy is.... old., Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:59, Reply)

Well..
Bros went to my school and I was taught drums by the guy who taught the bros drummer.

My sister lives in the flat below Rob Brydon.

Er... and I am Rod Hull.
(maddave, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:56, Reply)

Bare arse woe
On the way back from a football match in the West Midlands one Sunday evening several years ago, we all took turns to moon out of the car window as we crawled down the M1 towards London.

The victim of our moonage was none other than TV's Keith Chegwin who spent the best part of two hours stuck in a traffic jam staring at men's hairy bum cracks.

Within weeks he had split up with the luscious, pouting Maggie Philbin, hit the bottle and watched helplessly as his career hit the skids in the most disastrous manner possible.

I did that. I killed Cheggers Plays Pop and forced him to get his tackle out on Channel Five, thus changing the course of British history as we know it. I'm that famous.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:56, Reply)

Plenty here
Apart from appearing on Sky Sports (crowd shots at Gillingham) and MTV (crowd shot at the 5 night stand gig a few years ago when Garbage were headlining) I've met a fair few musicians.

Outside gigs I've met all four of the Donnas (nice girls, really friendly), Charlotte Hatherley and Tim Wheeler from Ash, the Subways, and the Darkness before they went huuuuge (had a five minute discussion with Justin about a Lowestoft theme park, and Ed the drummer gave me beer - still got it somewhere). I also met Melissa Auf der Maur (formerly of Hole and the Smashing Pumpkins - now a solo artist) twice in three days - I was impressed that she remembered me, if only for the lollypop I'd given her. Pic here.

I've also served Suggs, Barry McGuigan, Toyah Wilcox and various Kent cricketers at Rymans.

But the main crux of this post, pointless though it is, is to mention the time I confused Grant Nicolas of Feeder. By giving him my autograph instead of asking for his.
(jamesthegill opens new tabs with his scroll wheel, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:50, Reply)

Top ten tenuous claims to fame...
1. When I was 16 and working as a Saturday boy in Tescos I served Stephen Fry. He bought a ready meal lasagne, some bananas and got some change for the cigarette kiosk.

2. My dad plays on the postman pat theme tune - he is the bass player.

3. I once went out with a woman who was in Gong briefly in the late eighties after they were any good. She is credited on an album as airhead and said the line "I want a chocolate biscuit, you can't have one".

4. My mum went out with Dave Gilmour of Pink Floyd when they were both at school in Cambridge in about 1960. I used to see fizzling Sid Barret (also of Pink Floyd) wandered the streets of Cambridge dancing to the tunes in his head while I was growing up. Don't see him around any more :(

5. My room in University was the one previously occupied by Will Carling. The dissertation that he wrote for his degree was available in Durham University Library until people started checking it out just to laugh at the punctuation. You need special permission now.

6. Rory McGrath drinks in the Elm Tree pub in Cambridge. I took my friend there recently and he pissed Rory off by saying to him in a drunken manner "you're Rory McGrath!". I don't know why that pissed him off since he is Rory McGrath.

7. Three members of my girlfriend's family have almost run over Steven Hawking.

8. I have eaten cheese and biscuits round John Dankworth and Cleo Lane's house.

9. I once had a job selling programs and t-shirts for Des O'Connor outside his gigs. Des is a very nice man.

10. (This is the best one) Paul McCartney invited my Dad round to his house last year to play Elvis's double bass.
(dirtyhippy, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:47, Reply)

Time Team genitalia
I stood next to Tony Robinson in the toilets at an MTV party held at the old station building next to Temple Meads in Bristol back in the 90's. I remeber taking a really good look at his cock.

He noticed, nodded, did his shakes and walked off.

I wasn't perving or anything just never seen a celebrity's wreckage before.
(daddypigsaw Geddinthebackothevan!, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:47, Reply)

I've been hit on the head with Mallet's Mallet
been on a train with Louise Nurding, sold bottled water to Toya Wilcox and had the hairyness of my toes discussed live on UK Play... I think they all just about qualify!
( NomDePlume fo shizzle my nizzle old bean, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:45, Reply)

I'm responible for making Coco Pops more chocolatey
in about 1987 I wrote to Kelloggs complaining that my seven year old child (I don't have any kids) was very upset because the coco pops never turned his milk chocolatey. I ended up sending an box of old coco pops back to them and after several months of correspondence and Kelloggs 'perfroming tests', they allegedly made Coco Pops something like 5% more chocolatey and I got ten pounds worth of vouchers.
( The Duke of Prunes, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:44, Reply)

maybe someone remembers this?
Leeds Festival 2000, in the comedy tent, with Mr Drayton's World of Quiz (featured in the b3ta newsletter at one point i think) I managed to get to the final of the quiz that they had, after destroying a chair on stage in the "Who can dance the hardest" round.

Drayton: Spin the wheel you spunky young lad
Me: *puzzled look"
Drayton: Look, I'm the boss, and i'll call you what i want...you cunt
Me: It's the nearest you're getting to a cunt this weekend
Entire population of leeds: ha ha ha ha this kid is the funniest person in the world and we should make him our leader.

ah, those fleeting minutes of fame.
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:40, Reply)

i was the first person to buy HALO 2 in chiswick.
i waited outside the store until 12 and then jumped the queue.

um

im the defending snr2 lightweight sculler for the tideway scullers head?

er

i once called ross kemp a cunt by accident. he thought i was talking to him, when i was in fact shouting at someone else.

he's not that hard

ah





one of my mates was in dear deirdre's photo casebook thingy?
(magictorch, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:40, Reply)

I won the British Cartoonists' Association
Young Cartoonist of the Year Award in 2003. And I intend to win it again, damn it. That's not the claim to fame, though. The claim to fame is that when I went to collect it at the dinner, Richard Briers was there as a guest.

Richard. Briers.

I mean, come on.
( dotmund .co.uk, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:38, Reply)

My claim to fame is shit
It's just that my mum's been a primary school teacher for about 35 years (in fact, she taught Supermoore when he was just a tyke (seriously, there's a thread somewhere to prove it) ), anyway.. she once was listening to the radio when it said "And Xxxxx has won the gold medal", to which she casually mentioned "Oh, i taught him". She's taught everyone.

Oh, and an ex-girlfriend's friend's mum was asked out by johnny marr before he was famous. The mother rejected him, which is a bit shit now reeally.. is it not?

I get the feeling this entire message is really crappily written.. but i don't remember why.
( Naive Amoeba Bored Cig, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:36, Reply)

I've been to Brighton like masses of times
And I've never ever seen that tit ex-boxer or that bird with the massive tits. Even though they spend all day wa*king/driving around Brighton so that people can see them.
(Dr GUID, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:35, Reply)

A Few
I had an acquaintance who once poured his pint of beer over Paul from S-Club - and further more Paul got banned from the pub. You also some times see him driving around St.Albans in his Lotus. My dad also used to go to school with the Head of the National Front - he always said he was a bit extreme. I also saw Jamie Redknapp and Louise Nurding outside my office - but ran away before they could see me! Subnote to last QOTW - Louise Nurding is a little thing that turns me on.
(multipac, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:32, Reply)

Woo and Hoo
At the tender age of 7, I won an art competition to celebrate the new art gallery in town.
Little did I know it was going to be Rolf Harris congratulating me. Still have a picture of me sat on his knee somewhere, and yes, it is as disturbing as it sounds.
Also called Zane Lowe off of Radio 1 and MTV a twunt at Glasto 2003, and was the first person over the barrier at the front while watching Idlewild. I'm only a girl, and was being battered by all these moleste men moshing. To Idlewild!?!
Plus before Xmas I was working in a M&S at Brighton Station, when who should I serve but Warren from This Life. This is admittedly not as exciting as the others.
(Lizzilla, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:30, Reply)

Oh! I thought of another one!
My babysitter's brother (who also babysat me once when she was ill) was once on Top Of The Pops as a session guitarist for some really shite act. You know, the kind that just get forgotten after 6 months? I forget who it was he was playing for.
( Styxx hates when people talk in the third person, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:12, Reply)

My
answer phone message on my mobile was kindly recorded for me by La La...

And I know Pob. My childhood hero!
( icezebra *insert large monkey*, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:11, Reply)

News just in today!
My brother's going to be the captain of Jesus College Cambridge's Univeristy Challenge team.

(the swot)
( giant_squid, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:10, Reply)

Famous offspring
I went to school with the granddaughter of the drummer from Showaddywaddy, and Jonathan Agnew's two daughters from his first marriage. Didn't get on with any of them, they were spoilt little brats to be honest.

Oh, and my granny's best friend was Shirley Bassey's babysitter. And two of my friends have met Colin Firth on nonconsecutive occasions.
( Maladicta, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:04, Reply)

I know someone who knows someone who's had sex with Avril Lavigne
Also you can quite clearly see the back of my mate and his brother's heads on one shot on the Anthrax DVD.

Personally though, I wrote a really fucking wierd letter to Total Guitar magazine and it was printed as star letter and they gave me a £169 electro-acoustic guitar. If anyone wants to look it up, which they probably don't, it's the issue about 3 years ago with Mick Thompson from Slipknot on the cover.
( Styxx hates when people talk in the third person, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:04, Reply)

Thrills
I met loads of Hollyoaks people at a Thrills gig.
My first Aid teachers' doctor was Harold Shipman.
Someone I work with won The Weakest Link.
(wormeater, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 14:02, Reply)

I met Chris Bonnington
What a nice man. Everest is very big, he told me.

I also once met the man whose job it was to draw every single stone on Hadrian's wall - no lie! His big treat was when he got to draw one a Roman had carved a cock on for good luck.

I am the only person I know with my name.
(bloodyHassocks, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 13:59, Reply)

I'm a student rugby league world champion
I actually am though, so its not really that crappy
(Super Oaf Petit filous?, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 13:56, Reply)

My Grandad
got the OBE after WWII for going over to germany and stealing all their plane tyre technology.

My Aunt tutored David Bellamy.

ooh and my mother is quite mad.
(BadgerPirate, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 13:53, Reply)

Last year
at cheltenham was drinking at the same bar as ally mcoist. Hurrah for cheltenham 3 weeks away!

Shame my dad doesnt ue this sit he meets plenty in his shop at notting hill gate.
(Songi, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 13:52, Reply)

german pop star
Back in the day when I used to wank around with eJay (a top of the line music making programme) I entered one of my tunes into an online competition. Months passed and I'd totally forgot about it, until I got a letter from eJay saying that my tune was one of 5 others on a tomb raider themed cd that you could win from German Pepsi cans. Apparently they claimed all the rights to the "song" but they did send me the cd along with some complimentary eJay condoms and vitimain pills. I was 14 for fucks sake.

oh yeah, one of the other bands on the CD was The Rasmus. ROCK ON!
(Barry Big Fist, Thu 24 Feb 2005, 13:49, Reply)