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This is a question I don't understand the attraction

Smaug says: Ricky Gervais. Lesbian pr0n. Going into a crowded bar, purely because it's crowded. All these things seem to be popular with everybody else, but I just can't work out why. What leaves you cold just as much as it turns everyone else on?

(, Thu 15 Oct 2009, 14:54)
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This question is now closed.

I don't get...
Lost. What's up with that? What's it all about?

Have they lost their way? Have the script writers got bored...?
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 15:45, 1 reply)
I don't get...
those dresses that some woman wear that make them look pregnant. I just don't get it. They make you look fat and....pregnant. Why wear them?
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 15:38, 3 replies)
I see people out jogging and think WTF? Especially recently when it was raining and I passed a guy whose legs were bright red from the cold.

If you're going to exercise, then go cycling, you get to see more scenery because you can travel further, and more importantly, it doesn't fuck your knees up.

Worried about arseholes in cars? There are plenty of dedicated cycle lanes and paths. If you live in a rural location, even better.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 15:37, 2 replies)
The Wire
Watched the first episode and thought it was shit.

Everyone says it's the most amazing thing since sliced bread. And even then, it gives sliced bread a run for its money.

Then, when I tell everyone I've watched the first one and thought it was shit, everyone - that's EVERYONE without exception - says, "Yes, the first episode is shit, as are the next three, but after that it gets brilliant".


If I don't like something first time I don't force myself to keep doing it until I do like it. Right, I'm off for a cigarette.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 15:34, 14 replies)
People who...
Can't work out how to use self-service checkouts in supermarkets. You scan your item and put it in the bagging area, then you pay.

How fecking difficult can it be?...no, you do not stand staring at the machine, wondering what's going on, when it's blatantly asking you to put your items in the bagging area and looking at it stupidly as if it's the machine that's the problem and not your small brain, then shake your head and fuck off to the main queue.

-- Actually, I think I misunderstood the point of this QOTW. Oh well..

(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 15:32, 1 reply)
I run a tattooists in North London. The thing I don't get is people who come in and ask to have logos inked on their body. Stuff like the Puma logo, the Nike stripe, stuff like that. I've even had one girl come in and ask if I could tattoo Tesco Value over her tits - no joke. OK, they wern't great tits but that's besides the point.

Anyway, that's what I don't understand. First post - awright Ryan, I know you're reading this - DO SOME FUCKING WORK.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 15:31, 6 replies)
People who...
aim to get their luggage before the seatbelt light has turned off, and some even before the plane has stopped.

The damn crew have asked you to keep your seat and seatbelt on until the plane has stopped and the seatbelt has turned off.

obey the damn instructions, you twats.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 15:30, 13 replies)
More something I hate rather than can't see the appeal of
But "vegetarians" who eat fish.

I mean, what the fuck? Fish are just as alive as sheep. Is it because fish aren't cuddly, you hypocritical cunts?
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 15:27, 1 reply)
American “sport”
America has more "sport" than any other nation on the planet. If a passtime can be timed, weighed or measured it’ll have a ruling body and dedicated television channel.

The worst American “sport” I’ve seen televised is competitive log sawing, not even against an opponent against the clock. Two men to a team, one man sawing and another poised with a tin of WD40 ready to give a lubricating squirt at the right moment. I remember the three (yes three) commentators going on at length about the twin dangers of under lubrication and over lubrication, either of which will ruin the saw’s performance.

And to top it off a never ending backdrop of country musac. Stunning.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 15:20, 2 replies)
The Drums
Not the instrument, but the band. They're all over the indie radio stations and they've even admitted that they don't have a clue how to play a guitar (pointing out that they never play chords, just 1 note at a time). I hope they die as quickly as they arrived.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 15:16, Reply)
Kings of Leon
*yawn* - same single 10-15 note phrase over and over and over again. And the singer's croaky little voice bugs the crap out of me.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 15:14, 1 reply)
Straight guys wearing skinny jeans
or the Hoxton look.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 14:56, 2 replies)
Never understood it. Fair enough you keep a diary, but why share it with the world? We don't care how that date went or how big that dump was, and we sure as hell don't need to hear about it.

Whats the point in blogging?

EDIT: I'm on about the people that feel the need to publish it, constantly.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 14:40, 6 replies)
The Tenth Doctor
The Tenth Doctor, as portrayed by David Tennant, recently won the Doctor Who Magazine poll as the readers' favourite Doctor, pushing Tom Baker into second place.

Since 2005, Tennant has become THE Doctor for a generation of fans. He's made the part his own in a way no other Doctor since Tom has. His energetic, manic portayal, with moments of gravitas and pathos, appeals to fans of all ages. He's even a style icon in his pinstripe suit and Converse. And he's fanciable - I know people of both sexes who want to jump his bones.

David Tennant has worked wonders for Doctor Who and the programme will be all the poorer for it once he leaves; Matt Smith has big, big shoes - or trainers - to fill.

David Tennant, the Tenth Doctor. Everyone loves him.


I hate the smug, skinny, arrogant cunt. I even prefer Sylvester McCoy!

Roll on the regeneration.

Dr S
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 14:38, 9 replies)
Nice people
Not brilliant, not nasty, not bad... just, well, nice.

The human equivalent of beige.

They are perfectly pleasant, live in a nice 3 bed semi that's very tidy, with a pretty garden and a family hatchback. Well behaved children who go to university, get good jobs somewhere sensible, get married and then repeat the cycle.

How the hell can these people live their lives just being... nice?
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 14:23, 9 replies)
Gervais also
Smug arsehole who hasn't done anything funny since.... nope, never done anything funny.

Russell Brand. Don't get it. At all. Comb your hair and put on some trousers that fit.

Low slung trousers. Do I want to see your matalan-branded boxers? Or worse, your BHS thong? No, I do not. Pull your trousers up and get a better belt.

Chelsea Tractors round where I live. I'm sorry, you have absolutely no need to be driving something that huge when you live in Milton Keynes. Poor 4x4 has never SEEN a field, and has never been further off road than your driveway. Plus there's only you in it. Get a micra or something, eejit.

Smart Cars. Contradicting what I said above perhaps, these are the most ridiculous little pieces of rubbish, and seeing them going round roundabouts here makes me worry they're going to tip over. And why are they always driven by the morbidly obese? Someone who takes up every square millimeter of the internal space and has to ease themselves free with a crowbar? (This is a personal observation, if you are the one slim person in the UK who bought one, I apologise)

Dyslexia. It seems to be the 'in thing' to say this affects you. I KNOW it affects me because I had a proper evaluation and I have a certificate to prove it. Saying you're dyslexic to excuse your poor spelling and grammar when you've never even heard the phrase 'educational psychologist' is just not on. You may have noticed, my spelling and grammar is generally ok because that's not how it affects me or many other people who have it. So to say you have it when you're just not that good at getting your 'its' and 'it's' the right way round or whatever shows a lack of knowledge and understanding and really gets on my tits. (Again, I apologise if you really do have it, however you got your diagnosis. But it's like saying you have swine flu when you've got a slight cough.)
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 14:16, 12 replies)
Maybe I'm just getting old but..
.. I don't understand alot of new things today that are considered 'cool':

1) Ricky Gervais

The guy just ums and ahs at things with a little stutter and people think hes funny!?

2) Skinny Jeans / Leggings (On girls)

Its like some anorexic girl thought that the best way to show off her toothpick legs is to wear the tighest pair of trousers - or even better leggings so that the whole world can see her unattractive legs so thin that she must have to avoid drains incase she falls through.

3) Skinny Jeans / Leggins (On guys!)

Why oh why would a guy think "Hey, how can I find a way to immasuclate myself, retract my genitals back inside and expose my anorexic legs so that an androgynous female may find me attractive.

What happened to men being manly and women womanly?!

4) iPods / iPhones / ietc

Its just an MP3 player / phone! Get over yourself you pretentious twatface! Fair enough it has a nifty UI but it isn't the new freaking bible!
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 14:12, 2 replies)
People who clap
when their plane lands.

How fuckin' patronising is that to the bloke who is paid to fly the thing?
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 14:11, 13 replies)
Cheryl Cole
What's the big appeal? She's gaunt, clearly a bit dim and a pushover and far, far too made up.

And that new song/video Fight For This Nightclub Toilet? What a load of cock.

I'd still do the ginger one, mind.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 13:54, 5 replies)
Angelina Jolie and Shirley Manson
Angelina Jolie: "Wow, she's got fat lips and moderately large tits, and men's mags and fake lesbian say she's hot, so I'll pretend to find her attractive so other people don't think I'm gay."

Shirley Manson: "Well she's a not especially attractive ginger woman who is weird, and I'm a very unnattractive weird fake-lesbian, which is similar, so if I say she's attractive people will think I'm attractive, because I'm sort of like her"
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 13:42, 2 replies)
Drinking games.
These have always been a mystery to me. I have tried, and failed, to understand the point, but clearly I'm missing something somewhere. My hypotheses so far have included:

We like being sick. - Surely not? This mind-set is too alien for me to give it a moment's credit.

We like making our friends sick. - Slightly more plausible, but as I always end up holding hair, catching vomit and scrubbing carpet in these circumstances this one doesn't fly for me either.

We had *some sort of horrible booze* left over and we needed to get rid of it. - If it's that bad, surely you can just throw it away? Otherwise just make some cocktails out of it, or use it to clean paintbrushes or something.

It's the quickest way to get pissed. - If you can't manage your own drinking well enough to hit your target level of inebriation without a drinking game, I'm not sure you should be allowed to drink at all.

It's fun! - No. It's not. It could be fun, I suppose, if you managed to come up with a decent game, and if you were happy for people who felt that they'd had enough booze now to stop playing at that point, but unfortunately neither of these two things have ever happened.

We didn't want to go to *specified event* anyway. - Ah! Finally something that sounds plausible! Or at least it would, if I could think of an event so dire that I'd rather spend several hours vomiting and feel like death for most of the following day rather than than attend it.

Please, if you can enlighten me as to why this isn't just a method of bullying your more sober/lower alcohol tolerance friends and/or placing yourself in a coma I'd be very grateful.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 13:39, 8 replies)
Homemade Porn
I just don’t understand how anyone can find this interesting after the obligatory first few wanks.

That’s the last time I go rummaging through my mum and dad’s drawers...
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 13:32, 2 replies)
Probably the billionth time its been mentioned
but Big Brother is certainly another one for endless list of ''I don't understand the attraction'' posts.

Its pathetic and I don't give a flying fuck if 'Halfwit' is taking a shit at 1.02pm, but its unavoidable as it clogs up everything in the media.

And is it me...or do you recon the public voted the less fortunate housemate ie. the transvestite, the tourettes sufferer, the blind guy etc, purely out of sympathy?

I could go on forever, but I'll keep it light
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 13:24, 2 replies)
people who 'hate' cars.
i'm sorry but in aberdeen it pisses it down 364 days of the year. the busses are full of pikeys and cyclists are all twunts ( if you are on the road,follow the rules like everyone else.)

in my car (sadly not a Honda Accord) i have warmth, my own music and i can leave when i like to arrive when i want to. it's not much more expensive than public transport.
as for the environment? fuck it, i work in the oil industry and i'm proud of my planet-raping job.

fucking hippies.
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 13:21, 5 replies)
I’m a gullible twat. One time one of my mates convinced me the bloke sitting sipping a pint in our local was Elton John. OK, I was Boris Yeltsin pissed – but rolling up to a fucking huge construction worker with a bad wig and terrible glasses, poking him in the shoulder and slurring: “Play us a song then, you shirt lifter – oh, and Watford are fucking SHIT!” goes down like my sister after half a bottle of lambrini.

So it really leaves me cold when people I would otherwise consider reasonable, rational, some would even say intelligent individuals come out with a load of old monkey spunk bollocks about conspiracy theories, the existence of aliens, a strong and unwavering belief in the existence of Nessie and Bigfoot and a whole catalogue of other dodgy paranormal cuntishness, supported by a myriad of pseudo-science and ropey photos/videos which any normal person would file mentally in the drawer marked: Absolute cock.

Just really winds me up. And let’s face it, anyone who doesn’t agree that the Earth is only a couple of thousand years old, having bum sex means you’ll get a one way ticket to hell, and that dinosaur bones were put in the ground by God to test our faith is a fucking lunatic. My mates are imbiciles – with their homespun hocum mumbojumbo fairetale twattery. Give me the bible anyday; that’s a book you can believe in. I don’t think the old boy in the frock at the front of the church would’ve lied to me during my most impressionable, mallable formative years...
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 13:06, Reply)
I don't know what everyone sees in him?
He's just a big troll that repeats himself again and again like a stuck geordie record.
He calls all of us fat and autistic when in fact clearly it is JMG that is both those things. I bet he's obese like all other people from the North East (if indeed he even is from the North East)

He always criticises QotW and /talk as being boring and shit and repetitive, but it's HIM THAT MAKES THEM THAT WAY.
The reality is that it's all JMG's fault to start with.

I bet he's not even got a job and just sits at home on b3ta claiming dole. He likes to call everyone else a virgin but I think the lady doth protest too much and in fact he's just masking his own inadequacies. He probably lives with his mum and is bald.

I don't understand why he thinks he's popular - everyone on here hates him.

Right, off to shag my super-model girlfriend in the back of my Honda Accord. Cheers!
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 12:49, 10 replies)
Don't know if this qualifies...
Anyone who only eats / drinks low-fat. I am of the female persuasion and I don't f-ing get it. It tastes shite. And I don't know if people who follow these fad diets have ever realised this, but even if you only eat low-fat, if you eat lots of it you will still get fat.
Oh, and people who think that if they drive the latest BMW / Mercedes, it makes them a more shaggable person (it doesn't, it only makes you a wanker with too much money and the delusion that a car = sparkling personality) I may have offended some people...
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 12:49, 9 replies)
I don't like any buildings on a different road to mine
They're just not up my street
(, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 12:47, Reply)

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