Sacked
I'm lucky enough to be suffering a very long distance relationship, in which my lovely lady flies over to visit a couple of times a year (and visa-versa) from Tokyo.
I miss her terribly when she's gone and once she'd rather carelessly left one of her skirts behind after a visit... and a (rather odd) mixture of curiosity and loneliness convinced me it'd be a good idea to wear the skirt to work. So i did... once there i realised it looked rather crap so i tried to pass it off as a joke by raiding the 'props' box, that was left over from a recent fancy dress theme day.

the result: www.vacant-cs.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/1142295716.JPG

The lovely officey type area behind me is Scottish Gas HQ, my attire was deemed inappropriate and i was sacked soon after. Though i've since changed my mind and decided i do look good in a skirt, so not a total loss. :D

oh and for the sheer hell of it i might aswell confess i've and odd habit of wearing 'her' underwear on my head, for no apparent reason it's both relaxing and devastatingly stylish at the same time. dubious? fear not... i present the most stylish headwear known to man, a pair of hotpant thingies, fondly dubbed "period pants" - i15.photobucket.com/albums/a396/r3c/95.jpg

hmm... i'd better stop now.
( Shiodome has realised numbers in names aren't cool., Mon 28 Aug 2006, 2:29, Reply)

are fancy dress stories allowed?
i once made a captain black outfit out of a black t-shirt, a carboard box, some co2 canisters (from a gas powered bb gun), a pair of motorcycle boots, a plastic gangster hat and an icecream tub. i wish to god i had a picture. it looked smart, and took me all of 45 minutes to make
( Johno says the chances of anything coming from mars are a million to one But still they come on, Mon 28 Aug 2006, 2:17, Reply)

Green trousers?
My friend Rob had had a decidedly large amount of alcohol and some other kinds of drugs and decided it was time to go out on the town.. so what did he decide was the most fashionable thing in his house to wear to Leicester, the centre of Chavs?

My bright green homebae uiform..considering he's about a 6ft 3 and im 5 9" it was too shirt, im a woman so was decidedly more female and very big on him.. he then gets into a taxi he ordered earlier, drags un all out into leicester and goes up to some random man and pulls out the multi tasking ruler in the pocket and tries to get him to measure his cock! Hmmm fashionable
( squiddylyd Once you pop you can't stop!, Sun 27 Aug 2006, 23:44, Reply)

Don't
try to put on someone else's pj's in the dark while you're drunk.

Last night I stayed at my cousins and had to borrow some pj's. Staggering around in the dark, really pissed and unable to figure out why there's one leg really baggy and one leg really tight. I'd managed to get into the t-shirt, with one leg in the sleeve and one in the head-hole.

Eventually got the bottoms on, properly. Realised they were inside out, turned them the right way. Realised they were back to front. Sorted them. Fell asleep, got woken up at seven this morning by his little girl.

She told me that I had the t-shirt on inside out and back to front. I was out-dressed by a four-year old.
(Lupetherabbit Went straight into smirk mode on, Sun 27 Aug 2006, 22:51, Reply)

Beeg Mistake
Me (6 foot, stocky lad) and a friend (5 foot 5 reasonably thin girl) decided to trade sweaters and wear them to a barbeque for a laugh. she looked like she was having trouble setting up a tent, i just looked weird.

so we take them off.

did i mention i have an exceptionally large head?

i had to have the aid of three other people to take the hoody off, at one point my friends thought they'd popped my eye out. anyway, with a lot of stretching and heaving, it came off, slightly deformed.

then one of my friends looked at me and saw that i had a red stripe across both cheeks

the pulling and straining had burst the capillaries in my cheeks.

i suppose this is a roundabout way of saying that swapping clothes with people that are much smaller than you isnt as funny as it looks, and can end up in facial damage (partly from the people that slap you for being such a nob-end)

so just dont
(slurry apologises, Sun 27 Aug 2006, 22:45, Reply)

Just one outfit for you - say no more
Circa 1983, school disco

Bright red batwing jumper-dress

Black ultra wide belt over dress

White leggings with black leopard print

Black trilby hat

Ginormous Sue Pollard style multi-coloured glasses

Hot.
( fish_kettle, Sun 27 Aug 2006, 21:36, Reply)

I like to modify clothes with scraps of material.
I got a pair of school trousers with tears in, and then mended it with a 99p oxfam skirt which I tore up. It's quite nice though.

I'll take a picture at one point.

I also like to take influence from Japanese Fruits fashion.

www.lacoctelera.com/myfiles/gamuza/fruits.jpg

All that means is I layer more.

I like layering all my stripy socks. Warm and looks fun!
( Rev. Cleo still alive, Sun 27 Aug 2006, 21:18, Reply)

Hair humiliation
In the 80s, when my mousey hair was cut into a bob with ubiquitous hairsprayed vertical fringe, I thought I would look really cool if I put a blonde streak in my hair.

I proceeded to search my parents' bathroom for inspiration and came up with a tub of my Mum's Jolen cream bleach, designed for lady moustaches. Hey presto and half an hour later I had a bright yellow chunk of hair in my fringe.

However I then crapped my pants as I knew that the wrath of my very straight laced mother would immediately decend on me when she saw my new hairdo. So I immediately took the nail scissors to my hair and chopped off the yellow bit, leaving a massive stump of centimetre long hair at the front of my head.

My Mum dragged me to the hairdressers the next day and made the hairdresser sort it out, cutting off most of the rest of my hair, while Mum loudly explained to the whole salon what I had decided to do to myself. The shame.

Oh and ladies thank you for reminding me about the black woolly tights with white ankle socks (or white knee socks, rolled down into a pleasing tube around the ankle). Why oh why did we do that?
( fish_kettle, Sun 27 Aug 2006, 20:52, Reply)

Miami Vice
As a youth in the mid '80's, and being frightfully susceptible to peer pressure, I did the Crockett and Tubbs thing.

Trouble was those pastel slip-ons. No grip at all so when you're running down a rain sodden 1 in 8 hill to get the last bus into town don't be surprised if you slip and rip your lovely flecked trousers to buggery.

Needless to say the bastard child of punk and pastel - torn flecked bags - did'nt become an overnight fashion sensation in the cosmopolitan nightspots of Barrow in Furness
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 27 Aug 2006, 20:49, Reply)

you know those chinese metal balls
the ones that you're supposed to be able to twizzle around in your hand without them going "bong"?

I used to walk around with one in each trouser pocket.

It was the distant sound of church-like bells as I walked along that I enjoyed. It confused the hell out of people. They'd all be looking around trying to work ot where it had come from.

I also used to wear huge baggy trousers made of bright guatemalan material, loud shirts made of indian materials, bright chinesy waistcoats, long hair, paisley daps, john lennon shades and a rasta headband (edit -either that or the rasta hat my granny had knitted for me). Oh, and big hair.

Actually that reminds me - I did this hair wrap that I extended down to my knee. Unfortunately it got caught in a lift door, but fortunately my hair was so greasy it just slid off.

(PS - I'm white and male if that helps you get the image)

Children burst out laughing as I walked down the street.
(teasus likes tea, Sun 27 Aug 2006, 19:59, Reply)

In Highschool
One Halloween I was going to school in the morning wearing a grey trenchcoat, chains, black pants, black shirt, black shoes and big mirrored aviator sunglasses. I also had long hair at the time. Then this guy drives by in a car and yells "Nice costume!"




I wasn't wearing a costume, I wore that everyday.
(Human, Sun 27 Aug 2006, 19:58, Reply)

Worth 1000 words...


And the worst thing? It wasn't even fancy dress.
(SurferRosa causing the lamentation of the womenfolk since, Sun 27 Aug 2006, 19:38, Reply)

My confession
I was a New Romantic. In fact, I am still such a sad Old Rom, I am listening to Einstein-a-go-go by Landscape RIGHT NOW.

Not wanting to dress like a girl, my outfit consisted of black t-shirt, black school trousers, and a long black coat.

In summary: none more black.

"This is the latest style in the London clubs," I lied. "Bowie dresses like this."

It is, however, my mum's stolen eye-shadow that I am the most ashamed of. Sorry mum. I looked like a girl.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Sun 27 Aug 2006, 15:32, Reply)

Decided I needed some niftier accessories
So I went down to the thrift shop, god bless them all, and bought a corduroy blazer and eight stopped watches. Strung them up with some shitful array of safety pins and cloth ribbons. Nothing quite beats walking around town with a lopsided grin and muttering "Hey, leetle girl.. you want buy a watch?"

I highly recommend it. The watches come cheap (1 Canadian dollar each for me) and you can never have too many blazers. Going braindead for a Halloween costume? Slap on some shit cologne and you're Tommy the Sleazebag.
(Poogle, Sun 27 Aug 2006, 2:27, Reply)

I told my girlfriend

that wearing a cock ring would enhance our love making experience. The next time we 'did it' she handed me a polo mint.
(Lt Columbo, Sun 27 Aug 2006, 1:16, Reply)

Fancy dress beginning with G
A friends recent birthday required going dressed up as summat beginning with G. Me and a mate decided to go as a G each and went as a pantomime horse (geegee, geddit?). However, our costume was blown out the water by Chris, who turned up in just a white tshirt with 'I am the coldest of soups' in marker pen, and a bag of croutons stapled to it. 'What the hell have you come as?' we asked, only for him to turn round and see 'Gazpacho' scrawled across his back.

So shit, it was almost good.
(A Good Egg, Sun 27 Aug 2006, 0:09, Reply)

Tomato girl.
I've done the long hair thing (past my arse thankyou very much) and have recieved the snappy yell "get a haircut you hippy!" I've chosen to ignore these cutting remarks by growing it even longer. I also enjoyed my "panda phase".

My mistake was at age 15 when I went for the whole "let's be happy and bright and gay" look. Bright red trousers and frilly pea coloured tops. I looked like a chubby pastel tomato. I topped this off with a shiney face highlighted by even shinier makeup. Gah.

I also once stiched my own top out of an old white P.E t-shirt. I can't sew. I looked like a lopsided cloud.

~pop~
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Sun 27 Aug 2006, 0:03, Reply)

You
will all bathe in Satan's Seamen.
(bobriot, Sat 26 Aug 2006, 23:34, Reply)

Everyday when I was at school

my teachers made me where a cone hat which had a great big 'D' on it.
(Lt Columbo, Sat 26 Aug 2006, 23:10, Reply)

Hat
Someone bought me a black hat. Its a proper hat, i forget what type but possibly a fedora.
I love it.
However, I am always greeting with calls of "tit in the hat" when I wear it

I rock
(/lurks], Sat 26 Aug 2006, 22:46, Reply)

Hair
I grew mine and apart from beoming increasingly unpoular i lost my girlfriend and got shouted at by chavs in there "pimpobiles" with such foul comments like "cut your hair" or "get a hair cut" ohh the pain on my aching soul...
But seriously i need to get it cut (yup i've still got it)
Ha Ha that 1st post went swimmingly i love b3ta and i'm a newbie treat me nice and dont rip me head off
(My name was taken by me Is Sleeping With Your Sister/ Daughter/ Mother On, Sat 26 Aug 2006, 22:14, Reply)

For some the 80s was a very long decade...
.., especially a bloke I was at college with, in about 1995. He had a Miami Vice fixation, and made all his own pastel coloured, big shouldered, ultra-pleated trousered suits. Some double breasted. My fave was a mint green one, which he wore with a pale pink shirt. In 1995. And you know what? We were FASHION students!!
The looks he got on the college trip to Paris...
(Elizabeth Duke at Argos, Sat 26 Aug 2006, 20:57, Reply)

When my last Dual Shock 2
(that's a PlayStation 2 controller for you non-gamer types) died, I took it to pieces out of curiosity. When I'd finished playing with the circuit boards and pretending to be a robot, I gutted it of heavy bits (rumble units and such), put the buttons back and glued their backings in position (so you could still press the buttons as if it was a functioning controller, but they were nicely fixed in place). I left out the L2 and R2 buttons so that I could thread a chain through their holes, and screwed the shell back together. Result: one translucent red Dual Shock necklace.

I loved it and wore it all the time. I still have it, but haven't worn it for a while. I used to wear it every day to college. It was great! Random people both in college and the street stopped me to chat about games, and everyone was impressed to learn that I'd made it into a necklace myself.

I also wore it to an audition for the PlayStation Freedom squad (a couple of years ago Sony's summer ad campaign had the theme of Freedom, and four jammy sods were picked to spend the summer go-karting etc. at Sony's expense. I made it to the first heat but didn't get further, though I was offered the chance to be filmed for a programme about female gamers, but I had to decline that because the appointment was at far too short notice). I was also wearing stripy toe socks with sandals. I still maintain that this look will one day catch on - after all, what's the fucking point of wearing toe socks if no-one can see them?

Summary for people who go 'argh teh wurds': I made a necklace out of a videogame controller. And I wore it.

EDIT: My bro made himself a similar one out of a dead Gamecube controller. Mine's prettier, though. Ha.
( Bob Todd whee, Sat 26 Aug 2006, 20:50, Reply)

[witty title]
[hilarious story about wearing masonry, with an optional implication of sexual deviance]

[witty quip and/or thinly-veiled attempt to persuade the readers to click "I Like This!"]
[joke about length of penis]
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 26 Aug 2006, 20:29, Reply)

The Horror...
As a kid we didn't seem to have much money for luxuries, so my mum made my clothes (sewing my trousers, knitting my jumpers etc). I didn't have a pair of Jeans 'til I was about 14 (and the ones I had then were from some dead bloke - I remeber my mum being so proud that they were M&S jeans "They wont fade, they're quality" !). All was OK til high school when I suddenly got harangued for wearing a vest (one wore t shirts under shirts). My nickname was also "flairs" because my trousers were not drainpipes.
In 6th form there was a group of us who tried to wear the wost imaginable clothes - my favourite was green shoes with leather laces, grey Farrahs (Id spread my wings a bit) a green stripey shirt ("pacers") a silver bow tie, beige or red waist coat (with pocket watch) and my flasher mac or a bright yellow ski jacket. At least I was being ironic. Our Dad's kipper ties were popular too.
First time I voted I wore an Orange Tampa Bay Buccaneers NFL top, multi colour day glo shorts (think Anthrax) and trainers. And Birmingham Bulls baseball hat at a jaunty angle.
Nowdays it's a music T shirt and jeans.
Cool or what huh !
(kitescreech still here, Sat 26 Aug 2006, 20:23, Reply)

today ..
i bought a pair of large sized men's jeans.
all pretty normal you might say. except for the fact that:
i'm 15
i'm a girl
and i'm size 8 clothes.

what can i say? i like baggy pants.
(i eat crayons, Sat 26 Aug 2006, 20:10, Reply)

'You want fame? Well, fame costs...'
It was the early(ish) 80s. I accidentally bought a pair of big denim flares and decided they looked kind of cool in a New Romantic kind of way . Upon realising my mistake (as in looking cool in a 'please shoot me now I in fact look a complete tit' kind of way), I considered my options to conceal the flariness.

Leg warmers.

On top of flares.

Oh yes.

And not even for a few days. For over a year. I liked it so much I wore them with pretty much everything. And looked just as much a tit in all of it.
(cisco, Sat 26 Aug 2006, 19:03, Reply)

My ex girlfriend's

now a nun. She's a great big fat lady, who smokes 40 cigarettes a day. She's having trouble getting out of her habit.

I know, shit, but at least I didn't tell the old one bout the nun who wears the soap.
(Lt Columbo, Sat 26 Aug 2006, 18:55, Reply)

18th century
In the early nineties Moscow was completely cleared of any preconceptions on anything, including clothing, due to major political/economical collapse/change. And me, in my late teenaging, was in a mood for 18th century for some reason. I think I watched Amadeus or something on the telly. So one day I bought a white powdered wig with a tail and pigeonwings, added black silk shirt, tight black trowsers and golfs, some flea-market shoes and went out. I was most dismayed to see complete lack of interest from the bus passangers on my way to work. Except one lady in her 50s saying: "You look handsome, young man". Still not sure was it irony or not.
(Restoration Dept., Sat 26 Aug 2006, 18:04, Reply)