After a few Xmas drinks with some colleagues
On the walk home I went to the infamous Hogie Cabin for some revolting fried muck involving those horrible tinned wieners - not even proper sausages.

If that weren't enough, I also visited the 24hour Tesco Extra and bought some trainers, a Red Dwarf DVD and a box of orange After Eights which I gorged myself on upon reaching bed.

One of my partners-in-crime spent the next day asleep in a deckchair in the office.
( divy, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 14:11, Reply)

The night before my 24th Birthday
this year I drank 4 cans of Stella, 3 bottles of red wine then another couple of cans of beer and then bought myself a trip to A&E after falling headfirst down the stairs in my flat and cracking my bonce open. Blood pissing everywhere I crawled back up the stairs and stuck my head in the bath while my distraught girlfriend called an ambulance. I spent my birthday in bed passing out and puking. Oh happy days. I drink too much, burp...
( SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it..., Thu 9 Jun 2005, 14:11, Reply)

drink hey
I once bought a pool cue for £1.58 (so I was informed a few days after) from the landlord even though he insisted it wasn't for sale.

My barring gets lifted in a weeks time, yay.

edit: Thinking about it I was never refunded my £1.58 either.
(Is this it like eggs but better, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 14:04, Reply)

False moustaches
and potato guns whilst on a pub crawl. We then proceeded to get kicked out of several Wollaston pubs after patrons objected to the flying chunks of potato as we played "Sabotage" (after the Beastie Boys video)
(gavD, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 14:01, Reply)

I've never been drunk,
so I'll regale you with tales of my dad instead.

Whilst being drunk, he has (thankfully not all on the same occasion):
- pretended to be a gay penguin.
- told me to become a communist and move to Hungary.
- tried to catch a praying mantis but got beaten up by a kitten who was also trying to catch it.
- thrown radishes at me (I didn't mind - I ate them).
- fallen asleep on the stairs because he couldn't remember where his bed was.
- fallen off his barstool (or would have had his legs not been entwined with the stool's, so that they both fell over like a tree).
- called his boss a fucking bastard.
- tried to get into his car with his front door key.
- been banned from driving for 12 months. Eedjit. Wilberforce (the car in question) therefore held too many bad memories, so he gave it to my mum and got himself a new car, which he calls Wilf.

Also, my mum once got drunk and bought my dad a box of mounted beetles (oo-er) as a present. He still has them.
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 14:00, Reply)

it was all hunky dory
on my first shopping trip living away from home, i was still pissed from the night before and decided all i wanted was a copy of Hunky Dory by Bowie. Needless to say i went hungry that night (not really rubbish but a rather bad choice of food or not)
( useless_rocker twitter.com/phillipteague, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:53, Reply)

The Greatest hits of
Bananarama.

That is all.
( Goldfish_, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:53, Reply)

Bought while drunk: 2 durex
.. from a vending machine. Under the severe delusion that I might get a chance to use them. That was 3 years ago. They've been thrown out now 'cos they got past the best before..... *sigh*
(David S Green, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:48, Reply)

It must be a Gloucester thing, but
I went out for a 'couple' of gentle scoops of the local fermented apple juice. I woke up in the morning covered in blood, a receipt from 'A1 Escorts' and a new patio.
To this day I don't know what happened but the patio is beginning subside.
(Tibbins, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:48, Reply)

nappyrash
My parents bought that "Burning Heart" CD. It wasn't all that bad, it had "Don't Fear the Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult, "This Flight Tonight" by Nazareth and "The Wind Cries Mary" by Jimi Hendrix.

(but yes, I suppose it also had Bryan Adams, Meatloaf and Cher).
( djtrialprice, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:47, Reply)

Bleeding gums
four grams of coke. now my nose hurts.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:46, Reply)

25 cubic feet of packing foam
my room isn't that large
( betascoo8, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:44, Reply)

A Nightwish t-shirt that had the pattern washed off it in two days.
Which I knew would happen, it always does with t-shirts outside gigs.

I also stole a seat off the London Underground, a Slippery When Wet sign, and a bus sticker that is now in my room saying "Please offer your seat to those less able to stand." Not technically buying, but...
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:43, Reply)

Thought that it was just me!
Recently blew 3000 (plus another 20 for the booze) on a new PC...
...what the hell, it'll be fun!
(CdrVimes, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:42, Reply)

I'm amazed I remember.
I stumbled out of Henry J Beans straight into Warehouse in the Printworks once. I remember buying some garish shirts and handing a startled customer a hand full of clothes that didn't fit because I thought she worked there.

Another time I remember staggering around Manchester buying the Big Issue off every homeless person I met in a 'pissed up and saving the world' mode. :-)
( Evil Bastardo, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:41, Reply)

Bollocks, you should all be proud!
We invented what we like to call the Scaffy Walk! Used to do it every week without fail.

You start out with a group friends in the pub about early lunchtime, have a few lagers till the effect hits you, then you trawl the high street, following the golden rule - you must only buy out of charity shops - whilst under the influence.
Piss-poor clothes are the fucking king-biscuit moneyshot, but tacky 1980s action films on video cassette, or trashy paperbacks are good too.
By the time the shops close at 5pm, you should be starting to sober up as your inhibitions return - so head back to the pub.
Once there, compare items bought by each member of the group, and reflect on the wisdom of the purchase now that you're in control of your senses.
Any tasteless item of clothing MUST be worn on the night out, with the option of accompanying it with other rubbish gained during the day.

A straw hat, Top Gun shades, chequed blue trousers with a burst zip, and shirt that would make Timmy Mallet cry - oh yes, you'll look the part, as will you all when your friends hit the town in style - oh, and take a camera.
We once found those polystyrene aeroplanes in Barnados you used to get as kids and threw them round the pub all night dressed like refugees from a Care in the Community scheme, while I regailed the crowds by reading aloud from the 99p pocket companion "Life and Times of Saddam Hussein", focussing in particular on the passsage where the ousted despot was reputed to have molested his horse as a child.

Happy days!
Can't wait till this weekend . . . .
(Barry Subchimp, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:40, Reply)

Eeyore
Not drunk but stoned.
Maccy D's had a winnie the pooh kids toy thing going on, girl I fancied had thing for eeyore.

Whilst on the requisite munchy trip I got it in to my head that a cuddly toy from Mcdonald's would really impress her.

As you can imagine I wasn't very successful, mainly because Eeyore's weren't their toy of the week. Damned pikey mcdonald's workers. I'm sure i'dve pulled her with the aid of Eeyore.

Edit: Another stoned moment, never ever visit a supermarket when you have the munchies, came back with 80£ worth of crap, many tubs of ice cream, steaks, crisps, sweets etc
(Inglorious_Other, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:33, Reply)

The next Justin Timberlake
When the student loans come in I have a nasty tendency to get drunk at this one pub which does all drinks for a pound, which also happens to be right in the middle of all the shops. A couple of years ago I decided to buy a Trilby on the drunken logic that birds want to shag that Justin Timberlake twat and he wears a Trilby, so I should get one too. Never buy clothes when blind drunk because you can't see how they look. The hat that I bought was so small it wouldn't fit on my head. I also bought a digital video camera once but it then got stolen by some Maoris in New Zealand.
(Cosmopolitan Steve You've got Guinness on your face., Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:27, Reply)

Rock of love
Whilst celebrating my birthday a fews years ago in my local boozer,we finally got kicked out at 9am. So we walked to my girlfriends boozer to carry on the drunken antics but had to leave for opening time. On the way home my girl and I started to have one of those pissed up arguments(you know the sort) anyway some how she ended up fucking off and I ended up with a 12inch cock made out of rock(i live in brighton)Still to this day I can not remeber where I bought it, anyway I thought that somehow it would smooth over the argument. And I think it would of done if I had'nt ended up back in the pub I started in the night b4. I gave it to the landlady, who was reportedly caught sucking it in her front room whilst watching the eastenders omnibus.
(cripps-zoid The rabbit buffer, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:24, Reply)

We were watching a HILARIOUS program about dwarfs and midgets. At least we thought it was.
Thinking it would be a Great Idea, I went upstairs and ordered the DVD of Willow. I still haven't watched it.

By the way, does anybody want to buy a DVD of Willow?
( chobb ,ø¤ºGREATº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRAPISTº¤ø,¸¸,ø¤ºRECOMMENDEDº¤ø, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:21, Reply)

Bargain.
I once bought a job lot of 4,000 new Sharps and Moben wardrobe and kitchen doors on eBay whilst under the influence of many pints of Strongbow (yes, I was a student at the time).

Seemed a bargain at the time at £1.34, and was the ideal get rich quick scheme, as I reckoned I could make a tidy profit by selling them individually.

What I hadn't reckoned in my drunken state was
A) How to get them from the other side of the country to where I lived
and
B)Where to store it all once I'd got it back.

I ended up having to hire a lorry to go and get them all, and stored these doors around my house and shed for 12 months while I gradually sold them all. I just got used to them being a way of life - making impromptu mini tables, seats and mega-size fly swatters of them. I couldn't even get into one of my bedrooms for a while...

Made a nice profit in the end though, and bought a new car with the proceeds. Never again though - I'm not sure I could cope with yet another birch-veneer ironing board...
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:20, Reply)

Mornin'
I once bought 'nothing but shame on this family' after a night drinkin' fightin' and being found asleep (by the postman) in the street; in a puddle of wee stinking of brown ale and vomit.


Ahh, I miss being 16.
(cherry B, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:20, Reply)

A housemate
from Uni days went grocery shopping whilst very, very drunk and, from what I recall, bought a bag of pearl barley and several pounds of cheddar cheese. And nothing else.
( Irregular Shed is trying to remember what it is he does, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:19, Reply)

Got home drunk,
flops into sofa, switches on tv, advert announcing "this CD cannot be bought in the shops etc etc..." casually picks up phone, dials number on screen, orders cd, puts phone down, falls asleep, wakes up following morning none the wiser.

Three weeks later a four CD boxed set arrives in the post addressed to me. Scratching my head with confusion i then investigate and realise what i'd done.
Therefore i am now the proud owner of:
'Burning Heart - a collection of the most powerful soft rock anthems ever produced'

It had John Farnham on it FFS.

and Angry Anderson.

20 fucking quid :[
(nappy rash, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:18, Reply)

A mystery parcel from Amazon
arrived on my doorstep on Monday morning. It contained 'A brief History of the Universe' by Stephen 'Robovoice' Hawking.
Cue memories of deep philisophical rambling in the pub on saturday.
A quick check of my browser history confirms the purchase occured at 1.30am Sunday.
(Choaderboy, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:11, Reply)

Not me but my mate
had been split up with his girlfreind for some time, and when out steaming met her in a club and ended getting back together (that wasnt what he wanted). He woke up with her in his bed and when he got up to go to the bog noticed a piece of paper sticking out of his printer. On further inspection he had apparently spent over 600 pound on a holiday for the pair of them and has no recollection of doing it. Plus he was skint.
( DumbMonkey The penis mightier than the sword, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 13:02, Reply)

I'm gonna be first next week...........
you mark my words, or don't, it's really up to you.
(myohmy, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 12:57, Reply)

Drunken Purchases
I once bought one of those flashing light necklace things off a chinese man in the street, that I subsequently broke when I collapsed onto my bed after the pints of vodka I'd drank (yes, we were drinking vodka by the pint!)
(I R Advertiser How can you live like this you're out of control?, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 12:53, Reply)

Thirtieth!
But was first last week so ner niddly ner ner to you all!
( ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Thu 9 Jun 2005, 12:49, Reply)