Gary Rhodes
His dishes contain a jillion ingredients, take 3 days preparation/marinading and 3 or 4 hours to cook. Every ingredient he adds gets a poncy explanation WHY he's adding it, and then when his friends come round for dinner to talk about it, he goes on AT LENGTH to them about his feelings about the importance of whatever, as if cooking was a philosophical paradigm.

Actually, having written all that I don't HATE him, he just annoys me. And nearly everyone does that somehow or other.
(nobuttocks last besmirched the internet on, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 19:06, 3 replies)

Hate?
I hate very few people; Ive never met Paris Hilton, or Jordan. Ive encountered their personas, and I find them unpleasant. Im pretty sure I would "hate" them, were I to meet them, but as long as they keep away from me, Im happy. If theyre on TV I won't watch. If theyre in OK! I wont read it.

Hows that for a boring answer eh?
(kitescreech still here, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 18:54, 2 replies)

Paris fucking Hilton.
Celebs. Gah. Let's take this one twat at a time.

One who irritates me to a huge degree is Paris Hilton. Why? Well, aside from the obvious, take a look at this. Apparently she thinks she's Bob Geldof or something. "It's the most rewarding and beautiful feeling to give back. It's not hard, anyone can do it. It's all about your heart...It was a pleasure, those children touched my heart and soul. My outlook on life is so different now."

How... special.

What was she initially famous for, again?... Oh yeah, that's right, for sucking dick on film and being born with more money than the annual GDP of Guatemala.

Every time I see her gormless vacant-eyed face I feel the urge to slap it, hard.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 18:53, 1 reply)

I await the hail of shoes and other hard objects...
... but Cheryl Cole. One minute the nation hates her for being a horrible, abusive little thug; the next the nation loves her because she's nice to the pathetic little twats that think they can sing!

I'll just list some here, too, but won't go into much detail as to why they make the hate list.

- Simon Cowell - Just a cunt. I can't say more than that.
- Chris Moyles - fat and unfunny. Also needs a shave.
- Alesha Dickson - Just because, actually!
- Angelina Jolie - don't see the attraction and seems like a control freak, leading me onto...
- Madonna - utter fruitcake.
- Britney Spears - don't get me started.
- Those horrendous Loose Women - only on the show because they've aired their dirty laundry in public and have no shame. I'm so glad I graduated and got a full time job, I couldn't take much more daytime TV.
- Fern Britton.
- Antony Worrall Thompson.
- Victoria & David Beckham.
- In fact, all of the Spice Girls.

I could be here for a while, so I'll just leave this where it is.
(Lucoire tutted and shook her head in disbelief on, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 18:34, Reply)

Ashley Cole...
...because he gets to shag Cheryl Cole. And he gets paid a fortune while he's doing it. The twat.
(town, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 18:30, 3 replies)

What's got 4 heads and doesn't bleed?
Loose fucking Women.

I had the misfortune to catch three days of 'daytime TV' last week and the cunt factor of ITV is enough to make the unemployed get back into work.

Kicking off with Lorraine Kelly - mutton dressed as mutton and nothing to say.

Loose Women - listen girls, do us all a favour and get through the menopause quietly. You rancid gaggle of rough-clunge owners.

Don't think I'm just down on the women though.

Jeremy Kyle - double cunt of the highest order. Although oddly, he does a good show on TalkSport.

It's not all bad though, I found myself warming to David Dickenson (maybe it was the tan?) - That's the real deal.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 18:28, 1 reply)

Davina McCall
Why are you so irritating? You make me want to scratch my eyes out you horrifically unfunny woman.
The fact that Big Brother is over and I no longer have to flick channels and hear that awful woman pissing herself with apparant excitement at which Z-list celebrity has just done a poo is pleasing me no end. Fuck off Davina.
(elless, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 18:12, 1 reply)

I can’t be the only one…
So, every morning, I head out, bleary-eyed, and far from bushy tailed, to catch the little bus that runs from my village, through a couple of others, then into the gleaming metropolis of Oxford.

I get on at about halfway through the bus’s total journey, and there are generally only a few on before me. We head off, and get to the next village along, which is where the bus fills up.

This is where the hatred begins…

In this village, there is a guy who gets on most days, and is also on the bus on the way home with me, most days. He is about my age, shaved head, office trousers, sometimes jeans, typical brown loafers/shoes, black jacket, and often a black beany.

He sometimes has to sit next to me, when the bus is full, and he splays his legs, so I end up squished into the corner, and listens to relatively loud music. Loud enough for me to be able to tell what the song is, but not loud enough for me to be able to sing along.

This, whilst being irritating, just means I turn my music up, and read my book to avoid him.

But for some strange reason, I loathe this guy. I imagine his name is Rick, or Rich, or something like that, and every time I see him at the bus stop, I grimace a little, as he has become my arch-nemesis. It is completely irrational, but I hate his little baldy head, and his stupid attire, straight from the shop window of Next. And the way he sits. And the music he listens to (he has made me reconsider my like of The Libertines). And absolutely everything about him. Writing this now, I am slowly stewing and hope I don’t see him on the bus, as I am likely to want to knock is head off!

And there is absolutely no reason for this. I am sure he is probably a nice guy, but I can’t see this through the red mist that descends every time I see him.

I know that if at some point in my life, I end up in a fight to the death, or have to save my family from some heinous overlord, he will be the aggressor, and I will have to fight for all that is right in the world…

Does anyone else hate random people in the street, for no reason other than you do?

Length, about half an hour every morning and night…
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 18:09, 6 replies)

Finchhhyyyyy
Chris Finch from The Office. Nothing against the actor, he plays the character well but I just hate him. The snidey snivelling twat.
(xwoody01, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 18:07, 1 reply)

That one on the TV
who fucked that other one.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:53, Reply)

Gary Numan
Bloody Gary Numan. He ruins everything and is a ruiner.

There used to be an awesome club called The Zone, skanky, smelly and brilliant it was. But that was many years ago.

Last year there was a reunion for all us old gits, playing all the old tunes we'd mosh and dance and throw uncoordinated shapes to. It was like the 90s all over again. Then Numan takes over the DJing and ruins it all by playing crap music off his fancy mac. We go home, we are sad.

This is not the first time he ruined fun there, though. Back when I was young I was moshing away and cracked my head on someone else's, cutting my head and resulting in a trip to casualty.

What tune was playing at this point? Cars by Gary Numan.

I hate him, the cunt.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:50, 3 replies)

Mandleson,Bliar and Broon
The three names everyone should recall when they think "this country is shit". There is no "Global Recession" of the scale they tell you -- just look at  to £ exchange rates or, even better, GBP to Aussie Dollar.
These people are passing this country around between themselves like johns gangbanging a cheap whore.
As for the "celebrities" mentioned in these pages -- I am aware of who they are but, by the simple act of not watching or listening to TV or radio, I have no idea why anyone hates them.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:36, 12 replies)

graham wincy flappy norton
I can't watch the bloke without wanting to punch him square in the face.
He's not funny, he's not big and he is definately not clever.
I once had the misfortune of bumping into him in the corridors of ITV. I would have slapped him there and then but he had two dogs with him. They were fucking ugly as well.
(pastcaring trembling in a corner....., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:33, Reply)

When I was young and less mature I was in a punky sort of band.
We performed a song which was essentially a list of all the people we wanted to kill off the telly. Barrymore was mentioned, as was Cilla fucking Black and Dale cunting Winton and it culminated with a bit where I screamed "Kill Vanessa Feltz!" over and over.

However, ten years later, I bump Vanessa on a semi-regular basis and I feel really guilty because she's actually quite nice. I was going to invite her out for a drink today so I could apologise in a My Name is Earl kind of a way, but found it hard to bring up the subject: "Hey, I wrote a song about how I wanted to kill you, but I don't any more..."

Cilla Black actually can fuck right off though.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:27, 3 replies)

I just can't stand that Marcel Proust. Why? It's a long story.
( vladimir, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:25, 1 reply)

Scaryduck
For allowing such a tedious question to raise it's ugly head.
I predict the replies will become boring very quickly.

I'll still read them though.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:22, 2 replies)

T4 presenters are cunts!
Oh dear Mr. Duck, you have opened a can of worms this week. Here is my humble offering to the masses:

T4 presenters are, and always will be, cunts of the highest order. They are predominantly from London, have done some shite media orientated degree, have questionable sexual ethics, they are as arrogant as a eastern block dictator, cringe worthy esq unfunny humor and think their clothing styles are beyond question

This has trickled down into our great society and today’s students are fine exponents of the attitude and fashion of T4 presenters. I remember back in the day when I was a student (a long fucking time ago) if you were caught wearing a scarf with a t-shirt, flip flops and shorts in the middle of winter you were treated with the contempt and nicknames you deserved. But there has been a recent upturn in the amount of prannys walking around in shorts, t-shirts and what looks like Yasser Arafats tea towel around there necks. I'm not exactly sure if they look like ill-dressed suicide bombers or just plain cunts.

T-fucking-4 Presenters have facilitated this.

I have to work for these absolute cunts everyday and it's getting to the point where I might actually kill the next cunt dressed like this when the weather is shit. So dickheads remember this, it's not the fucking Sahara Desert, your a 'bo-ho' type of cunt who hangs around Brighton beach looking at the old grannies baggy minges and then you piss off to some shit gastro pub and order sausage and mash (sausage unt mashette) at an over inflated price and talk about how great the TnT (don’t get me started on that pile of bowel mucus) show is.

I blame T4 Presenters for all of this.

But over the last few years I have tried to become a little less angrier with certain types of people and I have tried to rectify this problem by being less judgmental and playing the ignorance card. But recently a unique and special breed of ultra cunt has impregnated themselves into are great society with an ease that frustrates me.

I blame T4 Presenters for all of this.

What I like to call 'new age cool', defines someone who thinks that they are so uber cunting cool that they think being different and bit 'mad' is a way of life, while also the way they talk would make the Dali llama take a pick axe to there heads. Think young 20’s with that fucking posh/cockney accent (pockney), stupid 100 quid haircuts and never really interested in what your saying. Sound Familiar?

T-Fucking-4 Presenters!

The men are floppy haired, tight trousered, bona fide tosspots with panache for sausage through the back door if it will get them a somewhere in the ‘media’. The women all seem to be cloned from the same inbred gene pool too. Same fucking hair, same shitting clothes, same twatting interests, same completely bollocks and very unfunny humor (ironic humor is an art form that you cunts have no ability to pull off) and last but not least the same arse knobbing taste in shite music. I bet you tried to get on that shite channel four programme 'shipwrecked' too. Every time I see this programme I pray for a tsunami of biblical proportions. I'll just keep praying that the lord god almighty dishes out his holy wrath on you with one swift judgment and then maybe we can all evolve peacefully.

I blame T4 Presenters for all of this.

Just in case god doesn't catch up with you first, will the following people please join hands in a mass suicide pact by throwing yourselves off beachy head:

Men: floppy haired Gap year twats at skiing resorts in the Swiss Alps offering free snowboarding lessons for hot cock action. You then come back to Blighty harping on about how cultured you are. But you forget to mention that daddy paid for your whole trip round the world and the mere suggestion that you understand the poverty and economic situation in Cambodia instantly makes you a middle class ponce with so much hypocrisy in your veins that you make Stalin look like a misunderstood philanthropist. They idolise that unfunny Jones cunt from T4. He’s another turd that needs flushing.

Women: Toni and gay shit hair women who either wear polka dot dresses (you look like a shit 1950's ropey old washer women, it's not fucking ironic either it's just plain shit!) or black skinny jeans with a ramones T-Shirt(ever heard any of there music?...thought not). Your unjustified love for the mighty boosh is not because it's funny but because you want to fit in with the rest of your polka dot sheep when you sit around in some wank uber trendy bar talking about Noel Fieldings hair. Oh, and the constant quoting of the mighty boosh does not put you in the realms of stand up comedy genius, you look like a pranny. And you know where you can shove your new rave music!

Perhaps T4 can show it live?
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:20, 4 replies)

Amy Winehouse and Cherie Blair
Both wankers, both ugly as fuck, both massive wastes of space.
(Mr G to you , Fathead, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Cheryl Cole
...if only because you just can't get away from her. I was standing in line at Boots the other day and there was a rack of magazines. She was on the cover of 4 out of 5! Aaargh! And a few weeks ago I heard her on the radio simpering in a whispery voice about how hard it is being the "nation's sweetheart" etc etc...

I suppose I don't actually hate her, I'm just tired of seeing her face all the time, everywhere!
( cakelady, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:15, 2 replies)

Gordon Brown!!
The wall-eyed Scottish prat (apologies to our friends north of the border, but you have to take the blame for him).

I really, really dislike the man, considering that only a minority of people ever actually voted for him. And right now he's about as popular as testicular cancer.

Oh sure now he wants to introduce proportional representation, establishing a written constitution and finally abolishing the hereditary principle among many other populist measures designed to appease the intelligent classes but frankly it's too little, too late.

Given that he was elected by a small minority in what is effectively a different country (sorry Scotland), I consider this to be grossly undemocratic and from a certain point of view he can be seen as being unelected- much like his bumchum Darth Mandelson (which is an entirely different rant, which has already been covered).

Another point worth considering is that his style of government is becoming increasingly presidential, despite the fact the style of government he is supposed to follow is the primes inter pares approach, he clearly isn't doing this. If he styles himself as a president (which requires a completely different vote), and acts as one, then he should be elected as one. But he wasn't.

The system we have is grossly unfair and allows for massive swathes of the country to have their votes effectively ignored. And that really, really makes me hopping mad.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:11, 12 replies)

Oh my god where to start
Cheryl Cole - (I suspect she will be a major hate target this week on here) She cannot sing or dance and what the hell is she wearing in that video - they are PYJAMAS Cheryl. It's your fault that certain members of society think it's acceptable to wear pyjamas to the supermarket.

Katie Price - Why is she famous? I know she has big boobs but she doesn't seem like a very nice person, the same goes for that other one too I forget her name.

ANY of the women who are on Loose Women. God I hate that program I have said on here before it's like a coven of witches all sat round a cauldron brewing up a daily dose of bitchiness and hate with copious amounts of cackling at rubbish innuendoes.

There are more but I shan't bore the internet any more.
( Mrs Sp@m, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:09, Reply)

Dunno if this counts
Appologies in advance if someone has already said this...

...but Josh and his fake band from the T Mobile adverts. I hate the pretentious little cunt with a passion. Josh if you're reading this go and take your T Mobile money and fuck off from my telly and don't even try and bother the nation with your overly happy shit music again. You absolute prick.

I also think David Cameron is a bit of a knob head.
(fearsome mumbler is shit at telling stories, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:02, 1 reply)

Eccleston, Tennant and Smith
I want to be the Doctor.

You bastards.

You're all sods for doing a good job and being so damn entertaining as him (I've only seen Smith in the trailer, but looking forward to it).
(Cylon Bum Raider already knows how this will end, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 16:57, 4 replies)

Jonathan Fucking Wilkes
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_Wilkes

I had the misfortune to attend this year's panto in Stoke and can report that Wilkes is an utter juddering cunt of the first water.

That is all.
(The Pesky Trout, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 16:56, 1 reply)

Westwood:
You are a white middle aged man.
Not a a black 19 year old.

It really irritates me when he's on the tv. He's a reverse Michael Jackson
(stitched, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 16:47, 7 replies)

Presenters
All these people who just present.

Phillip Schofield, any Fearne or whatever, that cnut Carr, the gayers who do that bringing on the wall thing, Noel Edmonds, Blue Peter (although that chunky one with the lisp could be good fun for an hour), Ant and Dec, of course Davina Fucking McColl, Bruce Forsyth, and the list goes on and on.

One exception.... Cat Deeley. I think she is a genuinely nice person.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 16:39, 3 replies)

A week of this?
If I wanted to hear about a load of fuckwit celebs I don't give a monkeys about getting slagged off I could just turn on my TV, radio, or open a newspaper...

...fuck.

Society is fucked at the moment.

Anyone interested in real news anymore, something not related to who's putting their dick in who or what?
(Golden Boy, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 16:38, 4 replies)

Anne Robinson
Funnily enough I quite liked her (or at least I didn't want to horsewhip her with her own intestines until her skin flayed off into shreds of leathery ginger troll jerky) during her 'Watchdog' days. Ever since 'The Weakest Link', though, the very sight of her makes me want to rip out all her teeth, stud them into a staff to make a mace and ream her wizened Nazi schoolmarm arsehole with it. Ironically TWL is apparently a much closer representation of the person she actually is, so she did a commendable job for all those years of hiding the fact that she's a racist, stuck-up alkie bitch.
( .Yeti., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 16:35, Reply)

For me, it is Fearne Cotton.
Before I went to uni, she never really bothered me. But then the days came of lounging around whilst hungover watching tv.

And she was ALWAYS on every channel. It was like that Simpsons episode where Homer keeps changing channel and Mr Burns keeps cropping up on each show.

I couldn't get away from her mutant parrot face. She was permanently pecking into my mind and soul. I was trapped in my own personal hell and she was my own personal Satan.

Here is a list of why I wanted to smoke a fag and put my head in a bucket of petrol:

1. The shitty "cool" clothing.
2. The crappy interview techniques
3. The stupid horse laugh
4. The moronic faces she pulls (like at the end of the DS advert)
5. How funny she finds herself.
6. That nose. That fucking parrot beak of a nose.

Every time I see her I want to punch myself in the face, she enrages me that much. The memory of never being able to get away from her haunts me still.

I'm going to have a cup of tea now, as I've wound myself up a little bit.
(Cylon Bum Raider already knows how this will end, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 16:25, 3 replies)