I went to a fancy dress party as Kenny from off of South Park when I was a student
I spent ages trying to convince my flatmates that they should go as Stan, Kyle and Cartman, but they weren't keen and not that bothered about their costumes. Nonetheless, I borrowed an orange hoodie, and the night before I bought a big round balloon, covered it in plaster of paris and left it hanging from the bathroom light cord to dry. The next morning I deflated the balloon and painted my now spherical, uh, helmet to look like Kenny's head and the costume was complete with about an hour's effort. My housemates put so little effort into their costumes that now I think about it one went as a "man with a tea towel on his head". When we got there, the lovely hostesses who were dressed as policewomen were not altogether impressed though I at least got marks for effort, even if it was probably not a good idea in retrospect to wear a costume that completely obscured my face, though appropriately enough muffled my voice.

Anyway, our thunder was stolen by the four lads who later turned up dressed as Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman. They had just put on the appropriate clothes for each character, which was probably an easier way to go about it. To rub salt into the wound, their Kenny even had the same name as me. I think I went home not long after that.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Sat 2 Nov 2013, 1:14, 2 replies)

A guy I used to know *hated* fancy dress or anything like that
One of my favourite photos ever (which sadly I no longer have) was of him and his then girlfriend, with him dressed as Mickey Mouse. The combination of a skinny 6'4" bloke with big round ears, a mousey nose, big yellow buttons, giant gloves on the end of his long spindly arms and the world's most sheepish expression was pure comedy gold :D
( skullfunkerry In case of implosion do not look into implosion, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 23:28, Reply)

Summer after I finished my GCSEs
I made this. Wasn't so much a failure but it took three days to make, so any excuse to post a picture.


(johnsonthemegafauna, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 22:04, 5 replies)

Skater Gurrl
Yeah, this totally happened to me. We were teenagers, My friends were moving to Toronto for a Bunac thing and there was to be a big ol' fare-ye-well party. I was informed that the theme was 'dress Canadian' and dutifully did so. Who is Canadian? Why, Avril Lavigne is Canadian!

Superb, I shall dress up like her then. Lovely lady Lavigne.

Right, have I got the required get-up? Hmmm. No, not quite. Ah, but someone I know does:

*ring-ring, ring-ring -

"hello?"

"hi! I am going to a Canadian-themed party this Friday and want to dress as Avril Lavigne. I thought I ought definitely call you because you have lots of clothes that I could use to make me look like her!"

"what? really? uh, well, ok..."

Way to go, massively offending a girl at my school who I really like, and was - now this is important - also someone who was central to many social opportunities. Ooops. Anyway, she did lend me some baggy jeans. What else? Eye-liner (A.L. was once quoted saing that she made eye-liner trendy), straightened hair, a cut-up piece of a striped sock superfluously at my elbow-fold. Some wrist-warmers. A plectrum in my ear. All ready!

I am SO EXCITED about this party! I wonder what other people will dress up as?! Stroll to the bar in town. Wander through to the booked back-room space, and - BAM. Nobody seems to be in fancy dress... Oh no...

*cue the wiped-off cheery Friday night grin; now replaced with a surly pout.

Great, now I look the part completely. And, in addition, I just look like a 'normal' everyday emo for the rest of the evening. Nobody knows I was dressed up as a Canadian. I think I only lasted until about 1am.
(dbstpballerina Finally ready. YALDY, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 20:29, 13 replies)

Slade failure
A geezer I used to work with was off to a Halloween party. Went to the fancy dress shop at lunchtime and got himself all set in a Dracula outfit - nicely fitted, showed his curves, just right.

So he ordered it, and said he'd grab it on the way home from work that evening.

He did that thing - parked on the double yellows, ran in, grabbed his costume and drove off to wherever he lived.

What he'd actually grabbed was a Noddy Holder costume for another punter. Possibly the only person to go to a Halloween party garbed in the menacing outfit of Noddy Holder, complete with spangly topper, stick-on sideburns and high heeled boots unless you know better.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 19:28, Reply)

I once dressed up as Rick Farthelm
It wasn't very funny.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 19:03, 2 replies)

Bad Taste fancy dress party in London, a week after the bombings
Apparently 'Bad Taste' means dressing up in 70's garb, not dressing like a suicide bomber complete with TNT sticks and firing mechanism.
(Sonny_Jim Kirkladn has a small penis, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 18:15, 3 replies)

There is a local GP and he is well known for his love of the Nazis*. He always wears an SS uniform
to fancy dress parties. By always, I mean always as he had it tailored but not by Hugo Boss. True story, I have pictures but his bestie is a shit hot solicitor type.


* Nazis and/or skinheads, right wing rabble rousers or young males not afraid of their own bodies and a need to belong to organisations.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 17:29, 8 replies)

Not mine, but these qualify...
www.smosh.com/smosh-pit/photos/20-punny-pun-costumes
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 17:13, 1 reply)

Death costume at inappropriate moment
The best costume I ever made was a death costume with a long black robe hanging from a pvc frame, a big scary skull type head high up, my head poking out of the robe looking like death was carrying my severed head. Very effective. I was having fun at a party, most kids were avoiding me in fear. Then word came that one of their cousins, on the way to the party, was shot. That awkward moment where you realize you are jokingly dressed as death while an invited guest might be dying on the streets a few blocks away isn't the best feeling.

The guy was shot in the hand, it turns out, and was ok. I finally could stop worrying about how to slink away while I was an 8 foot tall embodiment of doom.
(thatguyjoe, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 16:25, 2 replies)

We had a party where everyone dressed up as nazis
it was all reich
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 15:54, 3 replies)

All fancy dress
Is a failure of personality.
( the_other_jeff_lebowski Croutons on my tits, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 15:16, 8 replies)

Can't catch a break

Amazingly, there was a time when I wasn't the suave, devlishly handsome international jet-setting playboy that you see today. In fact it was fair to say that my success with women was in the same category as Michael Barrymore's skills as a party organiser. But, one day I actually managed to meet an attractive young lady (gasp), talk to her (wow) and even ask her out (swoon). And she said yes.

Come the date itself, and everything seemed to be going well. She turned up, for a start, which in itself was a major improvement. Our tastes in music, films and food overlapped, but were different enough for interesting conversation. She even seemed to find me amusing, and I wondered if perhaps a little flirting was starting to occur.

The conversation drifted towards hobbies and interests. Now I've always loved fancy dress, and for me the big fun is the actual building of the costume - actually wearing it to a party is just the excuse to make it. So, I begin to tell her in great detail about my current project, and some of those I was most proud of from the past.

At which point things began to change. It turned out that she had a phobia against costumes! Even to the point that she wouldn't go on a motorcycle - not because she was scared, but because you had to wear special clothes and a helmet, which freaked her out.

That was effectively the end of the date. I never saw her again.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 14:34, 1 reply)

Halloween costume last year...
imgur.com/E4p51Rz
(mikey2gorgeous4u, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 14:23, 7 replies)

Because Sibelius was from Finland you see.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 14:20, 1 reply)

35 years ago
I got in the local paper for winning first prize in the "fancy-dressed bicycle" category of the local village fete, dressed as a comedy French onion seller, with beret, moustache, stripey top and some onions.

Did I win because I appealed to the judge's small-minded racism? Did I, fuck. I was the only entrant.
( chthonic, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 13:54, 6 replies)

sorry gemma
went to a classmate's fancy dress party for her 10th birthday. managed to ruin the party by causing her to have a panic-induced asthma attack.
how was i supposed to know she's terrified of clowns?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 13:49, Reply)

This happened in Kenya more than 30 years ago - I must have been 5 or 6 . . .
My dad made me a cracking Viking costume - out of a broom handle (spear) and bits of cardboard (hat, shield, etc) and I won!

I got first prize! Thanks dad!

The only thing was - the prizes for each of the top three winners was a cake in the shape of your place (cake ingredients being harder to get in Kenya in the late 70s).

I had won, but the 3 cake had about twice as much 'cake' to it as my 1 cake . . . . Bastards!!!
(SigourneysBeaver took off and nuked the entire site from orbit on, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 13:31, 2 replies)

Crap spider
I had one fancy dress failure a few years ago one New Years Eve when I was dressed as a robot, and my wife started an argument with some chavs on the train about turning their music down. The head chav tried to kill me but couldn't strangle me because I was basically just a big cardboard box with silver foil and a face drawn on it, and so I didn't have a neck. And when he hit me it just bounced off. But this repost from [gosh, 2006!] is probably better:

I decided to go to a friend's 21st dressed as a spider. I bought some tights (a nice lady in Boots helped me choose), and I cut the legs off four pairs, stuffed them with newspaper and sewed them onto an old T-shirt. For eyes I stuck loads of ping pong balls onto a woolly hat, and I put some velcro on some black plimsolls for spider feet. It looked the business.

Anyway, I got the tube there on my own which was humiliating enough, but by the time I arrived the velcro and all of the legs had fallen off and only one ball remained glued to my hat. I turned up almost in tears in my PE kit, completely blacked up with a ping pong ball on my head, carrying stuffed women's tights. Presumably the other guests thought I had come as a retarded racist.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 13:06, 4 replies)

Years ago...
My mate and I were on our way to a fancy dress party, both of us dressed as coppers. We decided it would be a laugh to see if we could actually pull someone over, and when some random cretin screamed past us at 140mph then pulled up at the lights about 100 yards down the road, well, we had our man.

Thing was, when we got to the car, there was a nervous and slightly teary 10 yr old girl in the passenger seat. The driver must have been in a slightly panicked state, because he immediately blurted out that this wasn't his daughter, and he was "babysitting".

Starting to feel like we may have accidentally stumbled upon something quite sinister and our 'joke' may well be about to turn extremely sour, we tentatively asked about the nature of their relationship, and before you can say "entirely fictional", the guy's lost it. The red mist descended and he tore out of the car and pummeled straight into me. I ended up with a black eye, a split lip, a bloody nose and, if I'm honest, a bit of a semi.

Then he reached into his pocket and retrieved his phone, which was apparently recording. No idea why. He switched it off, got back in his car and drove away.

Still don't fully understand what happened, but the incident haunts me to this day.
(Joy Division Oven Gloves Death to false metal, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 12:53, 23 replies)

Penguin Suit
For reasons now lost in the anals of time, I once had to dress up as a penguin.* It must have been some event, as I remember we got our picture in the local paper. Even better, after the event we got to keep the costumes!

Now, for some reason, I really took to that costume. I wore it whenever possible: not just around the house, but in the street, in shops, everywhere. For several weeks I wore it all the time, and I was as happy as Rolf Harris in Mothercare.

Now when I look back, I realise with horror that I was "that kid". You know the one. Every neighbourhood has one: not crazy, just... different.

On the plus side, I suspect there are lots of us here on B3ta these days!





* "Well, I didn't *have* to"
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 12:51, 4 replies)

This one time I dressed up as the superbowl and Janet Jackon's boob fell out.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 12:33, 2 replies)

CHOBB CHOBB CHOBB CHOBB CHOBB CHOBB

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 12:27, 7 replies)

One Hallowe'en I decided to go as one of my friends, while he put on a Transformers T-shirt and went as me
I was so convincing that our mutual buddies genuinely kept mistaking me for him and double-taking all night.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 12:03, 3 replies)

Ultimate fancy dress fail

When I was a mere lad, about 9 I'd guess, I entered a fancy dress competition at a town fair. I was in the youngest age category, my sister was in the older one.

First came my group. My costume was a Dr Who style monster costume, with real glowing red eyes and moving mandibles on a bulbous insectoid head, with space armour and a laser gun. All hand-made by me and my dad over the previous few weeks. Looking around, peering out of the creature's mouth, I felt confident that I had the most impressive costume, by far.

So imagine my distress when the judges awarded the prize to a lad wearing a shop-bought pirate outfit! Outrageous! A blatant fix! Call the stewards! I stomped back to my parents, scowling in righteous indignation, gnashing my mandibles and secretly glad that the costume hid my flushed, tearful face.

What made it even worse was that I could see now that my sister was, in fact, the only entrant in her age group! With no competition, she would obviously win, thus compounding my disappointment.

But no! After much muttering and consultation, the judges decided that her costume wasn't really good enough to warrant first prize, so she was awarded second. From a field of one.

It almost made up for losing.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 11:43, 3 replies)

I'm having a fancy dress party tomorrow, so I might have some stories next week...
For now though, I'll just leave you with the Mr T picture. Not really a fail as such, apart from the blue eyes. Also, I didn't win best costume, which I was slightly disappointed about.


( skullfunkerry In case of implosion do not look into implosion, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 11:21, 14 replies)

Vitalist

Out trick-or-treating last night, a shambling figure coming towards us totally spooked my youngest. As the figure lurched into a pool of light, she relaxed, and said loudly, "Oh, I thought that man was a zombie!"

He wasn't wearing fancy dress.

He was black.

Luckily he didn't take offence.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:55, Reply)

Long story shed.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:51, Reply)

I saw some kids out trick-or-treating last night who WEREN'T wearing massively racist costumes.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:16, 2 replies)

I was pissing in my shed.
Long story short, I bathed in my mouth.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 1 Nov 2013, 10:16, 1 reply)