Arrest cyclists who run through red lights...
... or go the wrong way up one way streets, or cycle on pavements, or do any of the other illegal things they do. Then give their bikes to someone who deserves them.

Oh, and require third-party insurance and a licence for cyclists, too. Like cycling proficiency test, for grown-ups.

Finally, in any given accident involving a bike, assume the cyclist is at fault if they are a) wearing earphones, b) not wearing high-vis, c) not using lights if it's anything other than daytime and clear visibility, or d) riding one of those bloody stupid fixies.
(gordonjcp, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 15:23, 30 replies)

They do
or at least they sort of do...my missus got pulled over by a bike cop for jumping a red light and was up for a fine until she turned on the waterworks and he felt sorry for her.

I laughed my arse off, of course.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 15:27, closed)

But does she still do it?
I hope not ;-)

It does my head in that when I'm out on my bike I can manage to abide by the same rules of the road that I do when I'm in my car, or van, or lorry - but if I hit some twat who belts through a red light on a bike then it's somehow my fault.

I've taken to punching cyclists who cycle across pedestrian crossings when the green man is on, when I'm out walking.
(gordonjcp, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 15:30, closed)

Oh you are totally preaching to the choir here
and the missus has gotten a lot better since she had her collar felt.

I have to cross a main road on a hill every day, by means of a pelican crossing, and the number of cyclists who don't stop for the red light - preferring to try and dodge the pedestrians as they cross - bugs the living shit out of me. I've not punched any of them yet, but I've found that suddenly running towards them screaming "YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT!" is enough to make them swerve and occasionally fall off.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 15:35, closed)

I'm glad it's not just me
Working in London I see this numerous times every day. If they are on the pavement, or jumping lights/pelican crossing, and I'm within arms reach (to make it look a bit less like I'm actually attacking them) I go for the face, or at least a heafty push to knock them off.

I've even managed to perfect the "elbow out whilst carrying my rucksack on my shoulder" pose.

What's funny is that for the tens of cyclists I've had off their bikes, I've only had to actually deal with a handful any further - most of them seem to realize they're in the wrong and hurry off without a word!
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 7:18, closed)

I saw them fining someone this morning for this very thing
unfortunately, they weren't around on Tuesday when I had to dash out the way of a cyclist going through a red light... TEXTING!!!
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 15:44, closed)

And anybody over the age of ten who cycles on the pavement should be immediately fined.

(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Thu 22 Sep 2011, 15:56, closed)

In the case of d)
just fucking kill them. Anyone so retarded as to ride a fixie unless they are actually racing in a velodrome does not deserve to live
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 15:59, closed)

I'm liking this a lot...
Especially the insurance for cyclists - great idea.

*clicks*
( snee held his breath since, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 16:09, closed)

Cyclists who ride on the pavement should be flogged! I nearly got run over on the pavement in Royal College Street Camden - there is flamin' 2 lane cycle lane for Chrissake!!!!
( Vambo, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 16:18, closed)

^this! ^this!
They've got their own bit of the road, painted green, especially for cyclists, and they STILL ride on the pavement next to it!

These are the ones that most need a punch in the head
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 7:41, closed)

Yup.
I've taken to physically stopping cyclists on pavements now.

One protested recently that whenever he cycles on the pavement, he "does so with the utmost respect for pedestrians", the wanker.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 16:23, closed)

definitely
i cycle, but i obey the rules. i'm also not stupid enough to cycle with headphones on.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 19:17, closed)

same here
i cycle and i never jump reds, never on pavements, never with earphones and i never race around like a complete idiot with a death wish

but i really hate the drivers who assume that all cyclists are bad ones..
( sutit only the crumbliest, flakiest posts, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 23:52, closed)

I stopped at a zebra crossing the other week
and the astonishment on the pedestrians' faces was a joy to behold

I don't think they'd seen a cyclist do that before
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 7:38, closed)

That could well have been me gaping in disbelief.
Only this morning a cyclist jumped a light at Cannon Street.
Fellow cyclists who had stopped gave him a hard stare.
The 10 ton lorry crossing the junction have him a hard blast of his horn and made a "fist going into a flat hand" gesture.

Needless to say the cyclists' face was the funniest expression there that morning.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 7:54, closed)

i see that a lot here, too
if i can obey the rules of the road, why can my bitch cousin's bus-driving boyfriend not try to run me off the road when he's driving the 53 near me?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 24 Sep 2011, 11:00, closed)

waiting for hate
i cycle with a single headphone, because the music keeps me going, but so i can still hear everything. it's the left headphone that's in, as all the noise tends to happen to the right of me.
(MrHammerHands last checked the time on, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 0:51, closed)

So you're only a half-wit?

(MrTrick, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 7:56, closed)

i suppose
i very rarely cycle on the main roads round where i live. generally i cycle round the woods for fun, or the quiet back-roads to see my mates.
(MrHammerHands last checked the time on, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:21, closed)

I use this:
www.play.com/Electronics/Electronics/4-/9623066/X-Mi-X-Mini-II-2nd-Generation-Capsule-iPod-MP3-Speaker/Product.html

Leaves both ears free for hearing whats going on around me, and also means people can hear me coming. Best of both worlds.
(bblgoose, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:31, closed)

I admit it
I am one of those, cycling, curb jumping, red light running, headphone listening, no helmet, no hi-viz jacket muther fuckers (although I do have lights) and ya know what "I couldnt give a fuck". Read some research (although it was a long time ago) about deaths on bicycles and 10 times the amount of woman die on roads than men because men take more risks than woman (who tend to obey the rules of the road more regularly). Most deaths happen at traffic lights when big fuck off lorries and shite drivers dont see cyclists at the lights then proceed to mow them down probably because they're picking their hole at the time, texting, doing make-up etc. If I hit a pedestrian i reckon they live, I a car hits me, helmet or no i'm intensive care at best. plus the fact that where I live has the worst bike lanes ever full of parked fucking cars so whats the fuckin point.
(Peno Lives In a Coal Bunker, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:49, closed)

10 times the 'amount' of 'woman'?
So it's the fat women who are dying?
(sabre-tooth monkey, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 16:43, closed)

Agreed, I doubt fat women on bikes last very long.
(Peno Lives In a Coal Bunker, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 11:44, closed)

I saw the ultimate cyclo-twat yesterday...
ran across a zebra crossing in my high street, nearly hitting a woman and her little kid. He was wearing headphones, loafer without socks, riding a fixie *and* he had the lead of his labrador tied to his handlebars. I just wish I'd had a stick to throw just to see what happened when the dog chased it...
(Chad, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:54, closed)

As an avid cyclist
and one who's planning a trans-continental cycle-ride, I wholeheartedly agree with ALL of this.
( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:32, closed)

Pretty much agree with the spirit
High vis isn't really necessary in the daytime though, and I'm really not convinced that there's much point in third party insurance.
( MatJ LOOK, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 16:27, closed)

Heres the rule:
lorry smashes into car=lorry driver in the wrong, car with cyclist= car driver in wrong, cyclist in accident with pedestrian = cyclist in the wrong. I turn left at red lights, go over pedestrian crossings when no one is about and cycle with the left head phone in all the time... if it's safe I do it. Pedestrians walk across in front of me when my light is green all the time, and I don't feel the need to punch them in the face, I just check it's safe behind me and dodge them. People who suggest that cyclists should have the same restrictions placed on them as car drivers need to spend some time reviewing the stats on death on the roads. Amazed every time how the word cyclist is able to bring the simpletons out of the woodwork.
(Pete_G, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 17:50, closed)

Most I agree with..
However, I don't believe Hi-Viz should be mandatory..Sensible to use at night or poor weather sure (and I do) but not made a requirement.

Insurance is a good idea too, one I support whole heartedly.

As for headphones? I disagree, cars have music blaring often, there's no rule against headphones in cars either, nor is it illegal to ride or drive if you are deaf.
That being said, if you must listen to music while riding or walking..be sensible and have the volume low enough to hear what's going on around you too...
(Asharin Stabby stab stab, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 7:51, closed)

There is a law against wearing headphones in cars, and you can be done for having your music too loud.
(gordonjcp, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 9:21, closed)

see, I have earphones in a lot of the time....
but, I've always got spoken word stuff on. It makes very little difference to how well I can hear (ok, maybe a touch, but really not much) and it's a joy when I pull up at lights (without fail) and someone makes a snidey comment about it, so I turn and give them a big smile. I don't know how many other cyclists who have earphones in are listening to audiobooks, probably not many to be honest, but bear in mind some of us are.
( kappynitty doubled your entendre on, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 1:39, closed)