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This is a question B3TA fixes the world

Moon Monkey says: Turn into Jeremy Clarkson for a moment, and tell us about the things that are so obviously wrong with the world, and how they should be fixed. Extra points for ludicrous over-simplification, blatant mis-representation, and humourous knob-gags.

(, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 12:53)
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TL;DR
Anybody using this as a 'witty' response will be:

In the first instance: banned from all internet boards
For a second offence: refused the right to vote in anything important
And for the third strike: shot.

And anybody responding to this post with TL;DR will be summarily shot for attempting to be clever. Go on... try it.
(, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 16:20, 22 replies)
I couldn't be bothered to read all that.

(, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 16:27, closed)
There's far too many words in this for me.

(, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 16:29, closed)
Fucksocks...
Foiled by that old b3tan wit again!

However, assured in the knowledge that you had actually read the original post, I'm happy to walk away with my dignity intact.
(, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 16:36, closed)
As an example of where it might be appropriate
I will submit this as the longest (and possibly strangest) B3ta post I've ever read. Although maybe it comes under "Wish I hadn't read".
(, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 17:21, closed)

Oh God, why did I read that...
(, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 23:14, closed)
It's somehow hypnotic

(, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 1:26, closed)
Horrifying
yet beautiful...
(, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 12:37, closed)
I don't even know what that means. Am I the only one?

(, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 17:40, closed)
yes.

(, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 17:53, closed)
TL;DR

(, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 18:14, closed)
It means Too Long; Didn't Read
It's the standard response from the attention-deficit generation who are too self absorbed to consider any opinion but their own but simultaneously feel compelled to comment on everything.

Fortunately when Thomas Paine published The Rights of Man, Darwin published On The Origin of Species, and Newton published Principia, they decided not to do so on internet message boards first.
(, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 19:09, closed)
Beautifully put.

(, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 19:22, closed)
But those authors actually had something to say.
They weren't narcissistic bores who never used ten words when they could use a thousand, were they?
(, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 20:22, closed)
I don't know either.

(, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 13:36, closed)
Excessively lengthy, perusal declined

(, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 21:04, closed)
TL;DR

(, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 21:36, closed)

too short; read it twice
(, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 21:43, closed)
Is that an internet threat?

(, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 22:34, closed)
You failed to add the standard
"Length?" joke at the end of your post.
(, Sun 25 Sep 2011, 23:21, closed)
Cool story bro

(, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 0:06, closed)
You're much cleverer than the rest of us.

(, Mon 26 Sep 2011, 8:17, closed)
TB;DC

(, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 9:20, closed)

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