Grief Porn
I get off on watching all the sheeple flooding the streets to pour out their grief over the death of celebrities and/or public figures who in no way ever touched their pathetic meaningless lives.

Examples: Diana, the Pope, Rudolph Moshammer.
(zangengeburt, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 8:50, Reply)

More Baka Gaijin
I take an abnormal amount of pleasure from inventing my own kanji, and convincing my flatmate it's real, but so archaic it's not used anymore. My dream is to see one in print in a newspaper...that would make me chô-shiawase

/sad
( owain2002, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 8:49, Reply)

Superstitious nonsense...
Every time I see a lone magpie I have to salute it - if I'm with other people I pretend to scratch my head while saluting on the sly - my wife knows I do this and generally gives me a disgusted sideways look.

On a darker note, when squeezing blackheads, I like to collect them all on one of my fingernails and then show my wife – she is always grateful and impressed.
( Goldfish_, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 8:47, Reply)

oooooo
-Satisfying pimples. There are several types that are fall into this category, snappy ones, small hard ones, explosive ones, and the ones that come out as a looong white string. There are also the rare ones that pop up on my scalp that snap oh so wonderfully.
-Picking at ingrown hairs.
-Talking to animals. Cats mostly, but others too.
-I absolutely LOVE looking at pictures of cute things on the net.
-A new one. Using someone else's mobile to call exes while blitzed. I don't speak, I just hold the phone up so they can hear the nonsense going on. It's funny how I have the sense not use MY phone even in that condition.
-Sitting around in the buff right after a shower.
-Filling in all the squares on sheets of graphing paper.
(spiggums, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 7:21, Reply)

"Send in the packrats"
I am a packrat, there's no denying it. I will keep absolutely obscure odds and ends simply because they look nice or have sentimental value. Oddly enough, I pick this up from my step-dad, who kept so much stuff (most of it was valuable though) that he filled our attic and most of my closet. Whenever he would take stuff out and move things around, he would use my bedroom as an extra storage room (it was near the attic). There were times when I couldn't even get into my room. All in all, I found this to be amusing rather than frustrating.
I like eating the leftover butter from the microwave popcorn bags.
(lothric, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 7:09, Reply)

Ah, simple things really
Riding a packed bus in the morning, and smirking as it drives by people at bus stops. Although, in retrospect, I hate it when it happens to me. Luckily, I live early enough on the route it doesn't happen often.

I also like chewing on plastic straws and lollipop sticks, and pulling split ends.
(chaoticmatter, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 6:42, Reply)

odd..
When no one else is around, I like to stick pencils up my nose and make myself sneeze. Seriously. It feels good.
I love putting on music like the Bee Gees and doing a combination of hippie-twirling and disco dancing while wearing a long, flowy skirt.
I also like to detach the hose from the vacuum cleaner, put one end at my ear and yell into the other end. As with the sneezing, it feels good.
( trintrin has jam for blood, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 6:14, Reply)

bong rips
from teh private stash... musn't let others see the hiding spot...
(Jogolo, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 5:48, Reply)

Beep
Whenever I hear a loud, unexpected beep (usually a car horn), I reply with a loud spoken "BEEP."

It started out as a silly joke, but now it's become a rather embarassing reflex.
(kitsune, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 5:24, Reply)

I can't believe I'm admitting this...
Whenever I have to make poopie, I take my DS into the bathroom with me so I can...ahem...take my mind off the business at hand. My highest score on one of the WarioWare minigames was actually obtained when I was constipated, and thus had plenty of time to devote to it.

There's two places in my left armpit that used to be really deep blackheads, and I take great delight in picking the collected deodorant/sweat/whatever out of them about once a week.

I'm sure there's more, but this should be sufficient to begin my posting career on.
(NuclearMosquito, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 5:16, Reply)

Stupid Gaijin part 2
There are a variety of fun things you can do to keep yourself entertained while living here in Japan.

I often make my students do or say inane or bizarre things. One day I had them stand up and sit down repeatedly in a perverse abuse of power. While learning the phrases
“Once, Twice, Three times,” I could not resist throwing in the line “A lady” and sure enough the entire class repeated. A good trick is to exploit their lack of peripheral vision and sneak up to the side of them, scream, and run away. I have taught 300 students how to mimic chickens perfectly and ALL my students say the word “Spaghetti” with the worst Italian accent I could possibly teach. I made each student wear a Jason style hockey mask and speak English. I chase the head of discipline around and constantly try ton undermine his authority. Any tongue twisters will after being mangled by 14 yr old Japanese students will of course contain multiple swear words and I laugh for no apparent reason. I sing to my lunch at my desk loudly. I refuse to answer my phone by saying “moshi moshi”.

I also enjoy doing very bad things in public away from my city while drunk and explaining to all passers by in my best American accent that I am American and I work in the military.

I OFTEN WEAR SHOES ON MY TATAMI….muahahahahahaaaaahahaha….ahem…also if you leave a red wine stain on tatami alone for long enough it will eventually dissapear.
(feature_wall, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 4:45, Reply)

Boring patients...
...I tire of certain types of patients I get in my ambulance (the ones that when you ask "Do you have any allergies?" will always reply "Yeah, women”) and so I take great secret pleasure in asking them a totally irrelevant but supposedly medical question – slipped in the middle of actually relevant questions.
A good example would be “So, do you have any history of asthma, epilepsy, bukkake or diabetes?” If they ask you “What’s that then?” you simply reply “Oh don’t worry, if you have had it you would know about it” and then get distracted by the heart monitor or something so that they can’t press you on the matter.

Although originally a purely private pleasure, I got sprung by a colleague recently who decided we should develop our very own “Question Of The Week”.

This week’s task involves slipping the word Gerontophilia into the questioning process.
(Gerontophilia = sexual attraction to old people.)
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 4:16, Reply)

Moments of weakness
I like to wait until my cat is in that dreamlike state when he has spotted a bird out of reach, and is nattering away in barely concealed excitement and concentration before I walk up behind him, and scare the bird away with mad gesticulations and much arm waving. The look as he turns around to see me chasing away a potential meal is priceless.

I also like to try and sneak into my yard and catch my Rotty napping. He gets really embarrassed.

I like to teach colleagues new words, and get paid back when they start using the word in everyday conversation with others. Just increasing their vocabulary. Try it with a made-up word with a convincing fictional meaning. Pure gold.
( Shazzoir Old enough to know better young enough not to care, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 3:53, Reply)

Being a stupid gaijin
Wearing shoes inside the apartment when my flatmate's not home (we live in Japan - she's very insistent about the "no shoes" thing, even though the only tatami in the place is in her bedroom) ...

Making Japanese people taste Vegemite, telling them it's really delicious, then laughing at their horrified, disgusted faces when they take a spoonful ...

Pretending I don't understand any Japanese, so that the locals are forced to use English (this is the opposite of what they usually do to us, so it's tit for tat, really) ...

Ripping-off Japan Railways by buying the cheapest ticket from a departure station in Tokyo, then flashing my rail pass at my home station (which is only valid for one station down the line), thus saving myself about 2000 yen (AU$24).
(Celerydemon, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 3:48, Reply)

--beep--
Whenever I hear small beeps, I have to "echo" them with a small hummed beep of the same pitch. Such as: clocking in and out at work (swipe time card, "beep"), punching in my PIN at the cash machine, etc.

I also have to hum along with the vacuum cleaner, diswasher, other things like that.

When people are around, I do it very quietly, but when no one's around, it's quite loud and very satisfying.
(boscokitty, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 3:40, Reply)

guilty your honour
i have to stare at my face every time i see some kind of reflection, be it a car window or even just a busstop that has slightly reflective properties. if i dont do it then i cant stop thinking that my family will be killed.

You know those three stank things on the pavement? I haven't walked on one for 5 years because someone told me its bad luck. i know its bollocks but i cant stop myself. i've memorised where they all are on my route home from work. sometimes i have to force my way through queues to the cashline to avoid them.
(Little_Alex666, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 2:40, Reply)

I can't really think of any
Which is surprising.
I often find myself air-drumming whenever I hear John Bonham (with head shaking and everything) but that's about it.
EDIT: Hang about, looks like I'm not the only one.
( Brown cow, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 2:38, Reply)

and so I end up averting my eyes...
I sing very loudly to myself, sometimes in public places, which is ok until someone starts walking my way or cuts across the path I'm taking. If I happen to see them from a distance, I'll quiet my voice down at intervals so it seems like I've been singing the same, conscious volume the whole time.

This tactic doesn't make much sense, and somehow does not quite convince people that I'm not embarassed about singing so loud, so my audiences look at me rather oddly as we pass. I always do the same thing as I am surprised anyone could be coming up on me during my private singing time... in the grocery store.
(toasty, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 2:34, Reply)

just as Bongmaster says
I sit all the time double bassing my ass off with my legs, and if lamb of god comes on then stay away, that and slayer - raining blood. My ELX dont like me no more.

Also the other usuals, picking of nose, farting in a full room as i leave, biting my fingers and eating the skin off the tips. also scraping the dead skin off my feet and eating that. can b a morbid fcuk at times! Worst of all my habbits is smoking, dirty dirty smoke.
(Dark-Angel, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 2:30, Reply)

Cracking my toes
which is painful, but loud. Very satifying. Especially when you see peoples reactions...
Also, listening to the music from films like Pirates of the Caribbean or Lord of the Rings. And punctuating and spelling everything perfectly, especially when people are speaking in 1337 or text speak.
(Iou1username, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 2:15, Reply)

Shitting yourself is nice
when your a child but socially risky in later years. And when it starts to cool down its unpleasant. But, for when you are over the age of 2, I find saying things in a Frank Butcher from Eastenders voice is absolutely fantastic. Not a day goes by without me uttering "Ricky moi san" or "You know you want it, Pat!" in a low, guttural, "Big bad dragon from dreamstone" style voice.
Of course, there is the all time number one. You cannot beat the satisfaction gained from getting a torch, and using a precision screwdriver to remove pustules from your tonsils. It is so wonderful, I now look forward to the little buggers forming.
And of course, everyone always talks to themselves, don't they? Though I tend to talk to God. Which is hilarious to anyone who hears me. I'm not that religious, it just seems to be a good way to work things out.
"Janiiiiiiiine!"
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 2:04, Reply)

Talking to myself
I talk to myself all the time. Quite often full blown conversations. With different accents.

Also, the type of spots that hit the mirror when you squeeze them... it really can happen. Talk about satisfaction.

Sometimes I worry...
( rosie posie tingly bongly, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 2:03, Reply)

Cutlery Tomfoolery.
I often like to put a fork in the knife section of the cutlery drawer.
(Green-Alsatian, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 1:31, Reply)

Beardiness.
I typically keep a goatee, as I look roughly 14 years old cleanshaven (not a good look for a 24 year old). However, sometimes I get the itch to get rid of it. And I love playing with it when I shave. I'll try stripes, the little pointy devil beard (a imperial, I think it's called), a soul patch (which I've kept from time to time), and of course, any guy since roughly the 1950s has tried to see just how much he can resemble Hitler.
(monkey explosion, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 0:58, Reply)

well
i like to invite 12 year old boys to come to my ranch and i give them wine which i call 'jesus juice' and then i share the bed with them

i know its wrong but it feels natural

shamon motherfucker
(The Gay Tiger, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 0:40, Reply)

My Beard
I don't think he suspects anything but I've been growing a really long goatee since october just to piss off a friend. It didn't start out for that reason, it was just a bonus at first, but I don't even like it that much anymore (though I do get beard envy every now and again from less well-endowed men, which is nice). Still I keep it to see him try and justify why I should trim it.

I also 'style' it in front of the mirror alone when I'm bored. I am a very sad man I know.
(lambypie, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 0:39, Reply)

Orgasmic piggies
Me and my chum enjoy buying 50ps worth of those lil pink chocolate piggies u get in Pick n Mix and as we're walking through town make really over-the-top but realistic orgasm noises. Scares the shit outta the biddies walking past. haha!
(Legs 11 last got some loving on, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 0:23, Reply)

Death Metal
I initiate turbo double bass pedalling and rapid snare drumming mode, Flailing my limbs about like a pure tit when im listening to it. Drumming like the guys in Nile, Vital Remains, Anaal Nathrakh, Blood Red Throne is the shit!!!
( Bongmaster Is a Junglist Soldier., Fri 8 Apr 2005, 0:23, Reply)

fierce air drumming

( You drive like a mong in a dodgem today is, Fri 8 Apr 2005, 0:18, Reply)