i'm not going
but my fucking flatmate is for playing shit christmas songs on an endless loop. if i have to feed the world, wish it could be christmas every day or drive home for christmas one more time, her head is going in the freezer.

how do people work in shops/pubs where they have to listen to this all day from september to january??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 22:48, 26 replies)

They go insane
Or invent new lyrics
(europe-who, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 22:51, closed)

Nine hours a day for a month
Working at Tesco. The phrase 'your mum' came to appear in a lot of the lyrics.
And if I ever meet Paul MacCartney, I'll f***ing kill him for that excorable pile of steaming sloth shite 'Simply having a wonderful Christmas time'.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 17 Dec 2008, 12:56, closed)

bah humbug!
Come off it, there is nothing better than the thirty second repetition of IIITSSSSSS CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSTTTTTTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
I have done pubs/supermarkets/clothes shops and the xmas CD was always the best!
(UnstableDan Bah, Humbug! ooooh, humbugs, nyom!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 23:10, closed)

You're not the only one
I fucking hate the things. I much prefer these two:

Hey Santa Clause You Cunt, Where's me Fucking Bike?? by Kevin Bloody Wilson

The Night Santa Went Crazy by Weird Al Yankovich.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 16 Dec 2008, 23:11, closed)

I believe
they kill and torture animals or do what I did and develop a rather jaded view of the world which remains with them well into the stage when they should know better.
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 23:25, closed)

When I worked in Little Chef we used to put the Christmas tape on in mid-summer and take bets on how long it would take for a customer to notice and say something
I think that's the only occasion I've ever intentionally put Christmas music on though.

I fucking hate it with a passion. Even more than I hate Christmas.

*has to go Christmas shopping on the last Saturday before Christmas, and is NOT happy about it...*
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 23:30, closed)

Ack @ shitmas
I refuse to have anything to do with it.
( snee held his breath since, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 8:10, closed)

Brilliant
There's nothing quite like walking into a sex shop and hearing Driving Home For Christmas start up on Magic FM. Still, it doesn't hurt to have another song that will always remind me of hardcore porn.
(DSV has been good since, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 23:30, closed)

Blimey
I guess we all know what you are driving home, Christmas or not!!
(Eeh Blah Gum, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 23:36, closed)

I'm Hull bound
because while the festive brass band played in Morrisons tonight I mentally cursed them for their invasively loud playing while I paid for my goods.

What stamps my ticket to Hull is that as I walked past them a middle aged lady rattled a tin at me which generated the response "Twats!".
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 23:38, closed)

Shit Christmas songs?
Are all Christmas songs shit?
(Mucky has squinted at the screen with one eye shut since, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 23:40, closed)

no.
try finding soca santa. it's fucking brilliant
(tuqueboy has been in a medically -induced coma since, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 1:18, closed)

I hate Christmas songs so god-damn much
Right...

I hate shopping, most of the time.
Because I hate "the public", and shopping means walking shoulder-to-shoulder with a bunch of greasy, sweaty meat-tards.

Now, Christmas shopping means double the amount of pork-slabs, combined with the fuckin' horror that is Christmas music.

So...
Spare a though for me when I realise, on Christmas Eve that I've been a procrastinating idiot, and have to go do my shopping.

I'll kill every last one of the motherfuckers with a turkey-carving knife, in a festive spray of crimson.
( Cawl, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 23:47, closed)

What Kaol said.
My misery is compounded by the fact that that stupid fucking online card verification thing has decided that I'm trying to defraud myself or steal my own identity, and despite repeated calls to Natwest still won't let me use my card online.

Still works fine in cash machines and shops, but it means I'm also going to have to mingle with the public this weekend.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 0:15, closed)

You call them 'meat-tards' or 'the public'
Me, I refer to them as sheep.
( snee held his breath since, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 8:11, closed)

Its very simple
1) Do it all in November

2) Have a "one for them, one for me" philosophy, so if I buy 8 presents, there are also 8 things for me too!
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 8:25, closed)

Where I worked last Christmas (Royal Mail sorting office)
they had the radio on and it was Leona fucking Lewis every ten cunting minutes. God that song was annoying.

At the moment, I quite like Greg Lake's 'I Believe in Father Christmas'.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Wed 17 Dec 2008, 0:02, closed)

Also
I know it's not strictly a Christmas song, but if I have to hear that bint murdering Hallelujah once more I'm going to go on a genocidal rampage.

Even the Bon Jovi version (Yes, there is one. Yes, really. Yes it's as bad as you think, maybe worse) is better. And I think that's the first time I've ever said that about anything!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 0:21, closed)

actually it is a welcome break from the beatles on loop
and david grey is in there too
( Soggy, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 0:40, closed)

how do i cope?
marijuana
(themanfromdelmonte, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 1:02, closed)

^^^
This
( jakedamusss I understand, and dont care., Wed 17 Dec 2008, 2:30, closed)

Uh huh...
Mixed in with vodka, absinthe, cocaine, MDMA and pills...
( snee held his breath since, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 8:12, closed)

We don't
You can help: Complain about the music, *to a manager, in person*. Ask if they actually have the correct license.

I wish I was joking, when I say that I think that our workplaces single tape (a one hour loop) of "Christmas music", played all day for weeks at a time, from a single crappy stereo (so there *was* some variety: you could be stuck working where it was too loud, or stuck working where it was just audible enough to be annoying); certainly contributed to my breakdown.

It might have been easier to live with if we hadn't been compelled (under implicit threat of Gross misconduct dismissal) to blandly agree with every customer who commented appreciatively about the music they only had to endure for, at most, an hour a week (i.e. no repeats for them).

Perhaps it's all for the best we didn't bring in our own tapes. The subliminal fun could have been immense (layering whispered rude words over and between tracks). If only I'd found b3ta sooner...

"GLO...OOR...OOR...OOR...cunts...OOR...IAAAA, in excelsis deo!
( The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 4:09, closed)

^^^^ This
I want to make one now.
( VandenPlas can't think of anything clever - no change there!, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 20:22, closed)

How do I cope?
I murder people in my head or viciously judge people on what they buy.

And because I work in a well known chemist chain it's either Christmas shite or that "Girls" song.

ALL DAY

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH





maybe I don't cope then.
(sparkly_penguin, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 7:31, closed)

If I hear "It's beginning to look a lot like Chritmas" one more time...
...I'm going to write to my MP in protest.

He's a Tory you know.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 17 Dec 2008, 9:41, closed)