Where do I start?
I've been a doctor in the NHS for eight years. I could fill this board with stories that would make most of you turn white. I could tell you stories about maggots, worms, an ano-rectal turnip and a 20-stone patient spraying diarrhoea over me.

However, the most horrific thing I ever saw came one night where a couple of ambulance technicians brought a 'patient' in. In those days, ambulance technicians couldn't declare someone dead at a scene, so needed a doctor to do so. Sometimes, it was quicker to bring the body to the A+E department.

As I approached the ambulance, one of the technicians stood outside, smoking a cigarette. 'Is he dead, yet, doc?' he laughed.

Looking at the body, I murmured 'I think so. Where is the rest of his head?'

The answer was: In the same place as his left arm, his left lung, most of his descending colon and his moped - under a 22 wheel lorry.

And, yes, he was dead...
(Fishgoth, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 22:06, Reply)

My Farmer Friend
Picture the scene: a deserted country road. A deer saunters across the road, slowly, peacefully. It admires the great scots pines framing the road and looks up, proudly to thesky that stretches from sun up to sun down in the cool, cloud-dusted blue of a high summer's day.

The deer turns to look up the road, only to be greeted with the fender of the "Christie-mobile", which is essentially a fucking gigantic land rover with headlights all over it that plays the beginning to Fur Elise or such when the horn is beeped.

Crippled after being thrown over the bonnet and slightly stunned, the deer attempts to totter unsteadily to the other side of the road to lick its very real wounds only to be smashed in the side by the Christie-mobile reversing in an attempt to put "the poor wee mite that I ran over" out of its misery. The deer didn't stand a chance.

Broken and dying, its last memories were of a six-foot scotsman, who thinks casual diner conversation is explaining the intricacies of castrating bulls and why it's okay to like gay people but wish they were all dead for being gay, ambling casually out of his truck/tractor/land rover to jump on top of his poor poor skull.

Thwop
Thwop
Thwop
Thwop
Crunch
Crunch
Crunch
Squelch

And that's how Daniel the Deer spent his tenth birthday.
(John_Anon_Prince I have no heart and soul, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 21:43, Reply)

Sad and awful
My sad story: Nearly ten years ago I came home from work to the flat I shared with my then girlfriend. The house looked like an abattoir and there was no sign of her. Four hours later I am sat with now found GF in hospital as a Dr sows up her wrists after a suicide attempt. The cuts were so deep I could see the tissues that make an arm. Something died in me that day and even now it feels dead.

The awful one: Working with a friend cleaning up a site in Cheddar when we found a pile of fertilizer sacks. Said bags contained the semi liquid remains of dead lambs. The smell was so bad I began to retch. When one of the bags fell over and splashed us, I was sick. my friend was so impressed at how I had bent double and vomited into the ends of my own pony tail. That was only time in my life when warm cheap lager straight from a hot car tasted good, it got rid of the taste of that smell (remember folks, taste and smell are linked).
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 21:38, Reply)

Might not sound too horrific to you but.....
After our first few dates it was suggested that maybe it was time to start meeting the families. Me meeting Mini-PurpleGod was good. Mr Goddess meeting my lot goes o.k. Me meeting his Ma goes well. Me meeting his Dad and Stepbitch (I think you can guess) wasn't great but hey ho. There was only one person left to meet. Saving the worst til last, we drive there. Me putting a brave face on, pretending this was no big deal. We cut the engine and the hairs on my arms go up and I get this really bad feeling - I explain I cant go through with it and I'm sorry and I'll wait in the car. Mr Goddess isn't impressed but doesnt push me. He gets out on his own walks the 6ft to the door and knocks. The door opens and a horrible stench wafts through the open car window, the awful sight before me stops my breath, then I hear a god-awful screech that nearly made my head explode, just when I thought it couldnt get any worse IT says - in a voice that sounds like nails being slowly drawn down a chalk board amplified 1000 times - 'Tell that fat bitch not to get too comfortable in my house, dont let her feed him too much stodge cos I dont want him growing the size of her and dont be f*cking late bringing him back you useless twat!'
Yes boys and girls, it was the horror of the evil ex-wife.
2 blissful years and a marriage later, we still haven't met but she still continues to haunt me!
( randomwomanwholikespink, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 20:51, Reply)

My ex
G/f, not wife. At the weekend, looking a million bucks.

Meh.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Sun 24 Jun 2007, 20:40, Reply)

Oh God
My own severed finger on my computer desk after I cut it (middle finger right hand from the knucke closest to the fingernail up)off with a butterfly knife(playing with it in the house while watching t.v./surfing the good ol' intarbutts) this wouldn't have been so bad if my cat hadn't stolen said appendage, jumped out the window and buried it in the garden somewhere.
I miss my finger you little shit
(McShaggswell, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 19:49, Reply)

Does...
Fecal vomit fall in to this QOTW?
(beatpig understands subliminalesbianmessagaying., Sun 24 Jun 2007, 19:46, Reply)

The neighbourhood whorecat
had her usual litter of kittumz last April, which she decided to DEVOUR in our porch(we had not touched them or anything). Lucky for us, she left a paw :/

Anyway just yesterday she had another three little ones..they look pretty weak so i really hope they die before she can have them for dinner.
(supervixen, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 18:53, Reply)

Fish Story
My soon-to-be-ex and I had just started renting a little 2-bed house in Cardiff. Now I'm not a fan of fish, especially smoked fish, so soon-to-be-ex knew not to cook it when I was around.
He found some smoked kippers he had been keeping till I went away to see my parents for a week, but found they were a bit out of date. Never mind, he thinks (he doesn't believe in germs) and decides to grill them. After the smell of putrid, grilling kipper begins to fill the house even he begins to think it's not a great idea to eat them.
Never mind, he thinks, the grill pan will magically become clean when Biscuitsocks returns.
Came back from my parents and - WTF??? - I almost had to cut the air with a machete to get into the house! Even the cat was screaming and scratching frantically at the door.
He's now got a woman that's just as minging as he is - her face could be the next post in this QOTW!
(biscuitsocks random gene expression, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 18:26, Reply)

My aunt, topless.
It was nearly 20 years ago, but I still have nightmares.
(Ok, I'll get me coat, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 18:16, Reply)

Shirley Bassey at Glastonbury on BBC2
I am still shaking
(onefishtwofish Redfishbluefish, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 17:47, Reply)

Milk
Never leave milk in a flask unless you like the smell of putrid sour cheese in a lump that looks like the moon

The smell lingers for hours, days, it clings to your nostril hair. This was left for about 3 weeks. It was warm.
( ClanSoul, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 17:32, Reply)

David Busst
For those who like football, they may have seen the Ex-Villa player snap his leg, end his career and make Schmichael chunder know what this is like.

I play on the wing; I'm quick and good player. One afternoon, I'm being marked by a 4"9' fullback whose 1st line is "try and go past me and I'll snap you in half".

1st couple of tackles from him are knee/shin height, and then he catches me on the Achillies which bloody hurt. He careingly whispers "I'll crush your ankle next time...".

I get a ball down the wing, and I'm off and flying and he comes across from a central position to try and tackle me or take me out of the game. He comes across at full pelt, starts to slide in left foot 1st towards me.

I knock it past him, leap over the tackle and think I'm away. I hear a scream that curdled my stomach, and stop dead.

His left lower leg must have caught in the truf, and has snapped about halfway down. The two parts of bone are through the skin, looking like 2 big chop sticks. His upper leg, is also at a strange angle, but nothing has come through the leg. It's a mess, to say the least.

I was a First Aid-er, so I went over and looked. Then threw up. Twice. Over him. I managed to get over this; I covered him up, phoned 999 and he went off in the air ambulance.

The last thing he said as he got on the stretcher was "If I'd have caught you, I'd have done this to you...you lucky twunt"
(gjb006, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 17:32, Reply)

One from London Zoo
I feel pretty neutral to this, but I wonder what you lot might think.

Well, I was taking a few snaps of my good ol' friend, the king vulture, when I saw the mouthwatering delicacy prepared for him:


Click to start eating. WARNING: linked picture contains a dandelion.

I'm glad the chef at the zoo understands that presentation is key in preparing gourmet food.
(tungazzio the occasionally present, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 17:25, Reply)

OK, NOT for the squeamish.
www.messybeast.com/freak-face.htm
(kitescreech still here, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 17:16, Reply)

eek! a spider!
OK, not so grim but still quite a horrifying sight: the sight of a big black spider extremely close up as it ran over my face and tried to crawl up...my...nose...

*puke* I'm not really a spiderphobe but I never want to see that again.
(Mary Mandolin still had it on, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 16:47, Reply)

The road to Blackpool
Me, my mum, her boyfreind, and a couple of my mates were in a car on the way to Blackpool when we came across a pheasant in the middle of the road.
My mum panicked, told her boyfreind to slow down, he tried but the car behind us nearly slammed in to us, so we had no choice but to keep on going.
The Pheasant looked up just in time to see us and took off. Just a split second too late.
It clipped the side of the car and was flung to the other side of the motorway on the grass verge, bear in mind we were on the outside lane so thats quite a long distance for something to get flung.

It broke the windscreen aswell. Cunt.

length? about 20 meters.
(LiL_Arsewipe licked your face on, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 16:45, Reply)

Grim, funny....not that depraved. But fucking funny.
When I was working at the Safari Park there was a ride called The Black Fly. It was sort of like the Malestrom at Drayton Manor, a big pirate ship style thing that span around as it swung back and forth. As you can well imagine, it wasn't the sort of thing you'd go on after a burger and chips, and we had several vomiters a day, on average.

This day though, took the biscuit...

A group of 3 twentysomethings came on the ride, on their own on a quiet day. We had a natter as I was getting them onto the ride, they seemed cool so I decided I'd be nice and give them a "special go" (ie: much faster than it should be and lots of changing directions and the like). Just after lunchtime...big mistake. When the ride was finished I went up to let them off and was greeted by the sight of a very green looking chap sat in the middle of two vomit-covered girls, he had managed to escape unscathed but had covered his two ladyfriends faces and clothes in something akin to horseradish sauce. The one girl, as a natural reaction to shock, had opened her mouth, and some of it had gone in. Ugh....

I then had to hose two girls down to get the vom off their clothes and faces. Very very very nasty but also very very very funny.
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 16:42, Reply)

Grim
Anyone else out there getting the urge to look at these things we are told NOT TO GOOGLE ? It's like when someone says "Don't look behind you" - what's the first thing you do ?

/engage resist google image mode
(kitescreech still here, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 16:25, Reply)

State Britian
Has anyone been to the State Britian exhibit at Tate Britian? There is a giant picture of a really really deformed baby in that, is that a Harlequin baby? I dont want to google it to check.
Anyone who has been to that show will know the pic I mean. (bluergh).
Anyway, that pic is up there with the worst thing Ive seen, along with a pic of a person who hung themselves on rotten.com I saw a few years ago. His brains were hanging out of his eyes. :(
Thankfully Ive never seen anything too bad in front of me. *Touches wood*

Edit: Ive just found out it is. In A1/A0 form. There yehs go, a nice warning. If you dont want to see a giant Harlequin baby picture, dont go to Tate Britian until after the summer.
(DoTheWh1rlw1nd, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 16:20, Reply)

I'd never heard of...
...the Russian/Chechnyan decapitation video until I read this QOTW. Curiosity got the better of me and I wish it hadn't. Some things are better never seen. :-(

Next week let's have a "nicest thing you've ever witnessed" QOTW. Please?
(Mary Mandolin still had it on, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 16:19, Reply)

Two things
One was a Video a friend Linked me to of a bloke having his head half chopped off (in which you get to see+hear the squeal of his throat contracting before hes completely decapitated)

The other.. well.. The Pain Series.. Those who have heard of, or even seen it will know. All i can say is Search "Pain" on the Encyclopedia Drammatica.. AT YOUR OWN RISK. Seriously, don't do it if you have a weak/strong/any constitution. And don;'t message me calling me a twat if you do, and subsequently develop mental problems. I ain't responsible.
( Popidge Last ate a kebab on, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 16:05, Reply)

A couple of weeks back
In Broad St in Reading, i saw a tramp with horrific builder's bum bend over and pick something up off the ground. This wouldn't have been too bad if only (and there's no easy way to say this) he hadn't shat pretty much all up his back.

Sorry.
(Rushy, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 15:46, Reply)

Here's one to lighten the mood
I just saw a sign outside a petrol station that made me think 'how can people get away with these?'

it said:

Fast
Friendly
Fill-ups

Advertising prostitution?
( ClanSoul, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 15:36, Reply)

harlequin babies
jesus. heavy hindenberg, my curiousity got the better of me and i found a video of a harlequin baby. easily the most truamatising thing ive ever seen.

before that the worst musta been watching my brother, when he was 12, sawing the head off a dead ram cos the farmer said he would give him a tenner to do it. fuckin rank.
(Raol Duke, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 15:32, Reply)

Degloving.
My mum is a nurse and medicine is quite interesting, so gory pictures don't bother me too much.

Except for degloving injuries. First time I saw a pic of that, I fainted.

And now I never wear rings.

Google it if you want to know what it is, I don't want to see it.
(inflateable, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 14:42, Reply)

Remembered two more
I got a call from my mam 2 years ago on Boxing Day asking me to come have a look at my dad. I got round there to find him in the middle of a heart attack trying to pretend nothing was wrong. The sight of the daft bugger near dying in front of me but denying it will stay with me a long time. I bundled him in my car and damn near flew to hospital and spent the rest of the holidays there with my mam while he recoved from an bypass and looked lke shit.

My wife of 20 years in tears yesterday as the fact that she may have cancer hit her. She goes for tests on Tuesday to find out one way or the other. Life really can be fucking shit.
(Tyrion, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 14:17, Reply)

I don't like this QOTW
Can we have the old one back please?
(Generator cannot be named for legal reasons, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 14:09, Reply)

Heavy hindenberg.
I thought the most horrific thing I had seen was me trying to fuck my mum.

Then I klicked that link.

Now I have to go and find some company, as I scared to be on my own.

Thanks.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 13:30, Reply)

I've had quite a sheltered life.
Thanks to Heavy Hindenburg the most horrific thing I've seen was one of those babies. I wish I hadn't googled that.

My sister has seen someone jump in front of a train, but claims that she almost didn't notice - it happened so quick, and there were no tell-tale signs nearby afterwards. The line was still closed afterwards, mind you.
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Sun 24 Jun 2007, 13:29, Reply)