Xyphious you sod!
I did google Harlequin Babies. And imagine my horror when I saw THIS!

adsoftheworld.com/files/images/baby-ronald.preview.jpg

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!
(Rotten_Cointreau is a proper scientician, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 19:53, Reply)

depends if you are squeamish about blood and lady bits
I'm a midwife so have seen some things that I don't find particularily horrific but others might. Have also seen some things that will stay with me till my dying day, not all childbirth related. But some of the shit (literally) I've read today.... jaysus mary and joseph....I'll share my stories once I can get over the trauma of having read about the foulness of dogs and pigeons, in fact all birds. I call for a nationwide cull of these creatures.
(insomniac girl all my best things are in hock, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 19:50, Reply)

Varanasi
In Varanasi, where Hindus believe is the holiest place to die, they cremate people and float their funeral pyres on the Ganges, which is a very beautiful ceremony.

However, they don't cremate the bodies of children as they are believed to be flowers. So, they're just put straight into the river

The worst thing ever...
6am...
Banks of the Ganges...
Dead baby girl...

...being eaten by dogs.

The sound still makes me wretch.
(Dr Funkenstein - back in the civilised world, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 19:49, Reply)

Walking through the ground floor of Oxford's Westgate Centre Multi-Storey Car Park about 5 years ago
we heard a very loud thud about 30 feet behind us.
We turned to see a bloke laying on the floor with blood, lots of very dark blood coming from his caved in head
He would've fallen about 60 or so feet

He was very dead
Suicided he did
( Hankster, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 19:45, Reply)

Little chef
I've eaten in a little chef - that just seemed pretty vile.

I've since worked in a little chef - it IS vile.....
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 19:27, Reply)

Ew - Not for the faint hearted.,,,,,
A friend of a friend was out drinking - I'm so glad I didn't see this as when I was told this story I was with about a dozen people and as one, we all went green.

6 guys drinking and they're bikers, so they're being pretty vile* and much beer has been drunk.

One guy, let's call him spoon-boy (I just made that up) says he'll drink just about anything.

Anything? They all chimed - Yes anything.

Money is offered - about £50.

Spoon-boy takes the dare/bet.

5 bikers then proceed to hock, sniff and do other unmentionables to get the vilest, greenest lung butter imaginable - in fact I think this was offered around the pub.

In short order, there's half a pint of the vilest, greenest, vilest smelling, putrid green slime you can (or can't) possible imagine.

"There, drink that" - they say.

Spoon boy takes a look. Sniffs a bit. Cricks his neck.

And leans over, picks up the glass and downs it. In one. All the phlegm, bogies, hair and the rest of the fetid mass goes all the way down.

The 5 bikers, hardened psychos that they are, all go green - one runs out to vomit.

Spoon-boy puts the glass down, licks his lips and says "right-o, cough up"

And they did.

I'm glad I didn't see that as the story alone, when I remember it, makes me ill. Every time.

In fact, I think I might go and be sick.

*I know not all bikers are vile.....
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 19:22, Reply)

Dirty feathered bastards
Walking into town early one Saturday morning took me down an alley next to a pub/club, someone had obviously been taken poorly the night before after too much cheap lager/vodka/cider and thrown up on the pavement.
There were about 5 pigeons quite happily pecking away at this huge pile of vomit, all the while contendedly cooing away.
Filthy little mingers!
( curvylittlegoth heard the voices in your head on, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 19:21, Reply)

Hmm
This morning I was happily driving along some little country roads....

I noticed a nice little bird at the side of the road.

Sitting.

Happily.

Until I got near it.

And it flew at my car.

I only remembered about an hour ago.

I appear to have an awful lot of bird and entrails smattered all over the grill of my nice new car - and it's a sports type grill too so it'll be mostly in the engine bay too - I've not opened the bonnet yet....
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 19:14, Reply)

Greggs, St Albans, today, lunchtime.
Old lady smoking.
She had the THICKEST beard I have ever seen. It was thicker than what I can manage, and I have Afghani heritage for fucks sake!
It was like sodding shag pile carpet on 'er mug!
(tarbin tarbis, tarbit, tarbamus, tarbimus, tarbant, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 19:14, Reply)

Field day at CCF
So today was field day for CCF [army thingy], and we had to do an ambush.

Me and my friends all had rifles and left our bags in a field so that it wouldn't distract us.. we also pretended to shoot every cow we walked past..

When we finished the ambush exercise, we got back..

but as we left our bags in a field.. cows had come.. my bag with all my lunch and sweets.. had been pissed on.. so had many other people's.. but my friend.. oh lol.

His bag had been pissed on, crapped on, the cows had taken his trainers out his bag and somehow the bag was closed again. As hilarious as this situation was.. I began to think that cows couldn't have done that. It occured to me on the coach back that some farmer was responsible.. the end.
(baybled, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 19:12, Reply)

Last Saturday..
my friend ran over a baby rabbit. Well, the back half. I turned to see it dragging itself off on in it's remaining working limbs.

It looked really pissed off.
(Kittifer, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 18:59, Reply)

I Saw This Today
Fantastic Four : Rise Of The Silver Surfer . . . . Horrific
(Glass Monkey Yes a Monkey Made From Glass, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 18:58, Reply)

Similar to Mr Lizard..
Trawled it up while i was researching the Chechen War for history work. It shows some Russian soldiers taking a Chechen's head off with a jigsaw - as in black and decker, for fuck's sake! Also, a video of some more Chechens, this time being shot literally to pieces by Russian helicopters. Luckily it was a low-res video, but still made a few mates retch.

Length? Shorter by a head, good sirs!
(Igor, The Evil Spacemonkey is behind you!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 18:49, Reply)

I was reading
the b3ta newsletter; then to my horror, there was no top tip - WTF. Now, given last week's tip I wasn't expecting anything great, But I was expecting something.
( AS, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 18:48, Reply)

my friend
attack another friend with a kitchen knife during a mescaline trip
(gobbledegook blurs the line between lurking and stalking, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 18:46, Reply)

Beheadings...
My mate once showed me some video's (on the tinterweb) of some muslim extremists beheading a blindfolded american soldier. They didn't just chop his head off... No!

They push him over, kneel on his back, produce a serrated knife and SAW through the back of his neck... His scream will stay with me a long time. They then picked his head up and showed it to the camera, before plonking it on his arse.

Also, the Ken Bigley one (the british hostage)... Exactly the same, pinned him down and sawed his head off.

A russian soldier being killed by some afghanistan troops. They stand on his head, cut his throat and saw his head off.

Yurg.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 18:28, Reply)

My Dad was a health and safety inspector....
so has seen some pretty gruesome things(usually involving small children drowning in slurry pits or diced by farm machinery) but even he felt queasy after being called out to a small factory one Jan 2nd....What transpired was that the owner of said factory had decided to catch up on some work before the new years holiday after a couple of pints (they were never sure) and had been working on a 1200 horsepower lathe when his baggy overalls got caught- dragging him into the spinning machine at about 1000rpm-


for 3 days


By the time my dad and his team turned up all that was left of him was a yard wide streak of dark red over the floor, walls and ceiling of the workshop, and some shredded remains of overall twisted around the lathe!!

Errr...
(archstanton The gold is next to me....leave me be, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 18:15, Reply)

I've seen more people die than I care to remember
Two worst were;
When I was about 12 or 13 A friend of my Big sister getting his Head ran over by a tractor outside our house, then a few hours later watching our nextdoor neighbour hosing away all the blood.
When I was about 17, seeing a man burn to death in a car after an accident, that one took some Pshychiatric counciling to get over, I still can't eat at McDonalds because the smell reminds me of it.

No length jokes, I'll just sit here rocking gently
( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Fri 22 Jun 2007, 18:14, Reply)

Well it was sort of horrific....
When in holiday in Beiruit about 10 years ago, went to the Armenian quarter to have a mooch about with some mates...walked past a butchers -Big mistake...A cow had just been 'offed' by the usual middle eastern method of cutting its throat with a razor(no shit honest) the still twitching cow was pouring a river of blood down a ramp and into the gutter!!! Even the locals stood and watched in shock.....Then to cap it all a mother cat with her kittens sauntered up and started lapping still steaming blood from the gutter....My mates were transfixed with horror...I thought it was cool....


Do I need help?
(archstanton The gold is next to me....leave me be, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 18:08, Reply)

I'm so sick but I dont care :D
Now this was still in my School years and still amuses me to this day, even tho it happend about 2 years ago.

One time whilst walking back to school from the local supermarket I saw a seagull lying quite near the pavement.
It was also noticed by a gaggle of annoying first year girls whom annoyed me earlier that day.
Now i think perhaps it was on its last legs or it was just sick but thats not what was in my head a minute later when I see an industrial Lorry approaching very VERY fast down the road.
Cue squashed seagull and blood and guts going all over the pavement.

And also the annoying first year girls next to said seagull :)
(Kuja335, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 18:07, Reply)

Caleb you evil sod...
That priest shitting in the nuns mouth is just too groos for my fragile mind to comprehend!

eurgh
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 18:06, Reply)

pigeon
there were a group of pigeons in the town centre eating bread off the road.

i was happily waiting for a bus with my girlfriend.

everytime a car/bus went past, the pigeons flew off to the side and then went back when the coast was clear.

then another bus came along, slower this time - all the pigeons flew off, apart from one who must not have heard the bus.

at least he was happily eating when the bus crushed him. he made a delightful "pop".

i almost puked.
(tiredhorses, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 18:01, Reply)

Harvey the dog
I had the dubious pleasure of looking after my mum's dog, Harvey, last weekend. The horrible little shit wound my poor dog up a treat, so much so that I had to take her to my sis in laws for a bit of peace and quiet. I'm digressing, so I'll get straight to it...

I was wondering why Harvey wasn't eating the food my old bird brought over for him, and on taking him out the back for 'wee-wees' I discovered he had been snacking between meals. On his own shit.

I almost puked. He picked up a dry one and carried it off, with me following, saying "no Harvey, don't do it!" Does he understand what the fuck I'm saying..? No of course not. Imagine my horror when he stopped, turned, dropped it out of his mouth, gave me what seemed like a cheeky wink, and started eating it. The fucking pig.

When my step-father came to pick him up he laughed his tits off. I told him that was the last time Harvey would stay at Chez Fatty!
(Fatty Thornton, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 17:58, Reply)

My oft-remembered hunter cat
After a hard-night on the beer, I awoke to hear the ominous sounds of Prudence the cat (don't let the name fool you) doing her best to chuck her ring up on the lounge carpet.

I flew downstairs, half-naked ready to punt the little Rambo-wannabe into the garden to find something utterly disgusting, but worthy of Damian Hirst.

Prudence sitting there proudly, tail saluted in the air, with three mouse carcasses she'd thrown up onto the floor. One digested and just about decomposed, a small trail of feline puke, then carcass number two, slightly less decayed, but blatently half-digested, another trail of puke, and carcass number three which was perfect.

Apart from the fact it's head had been severed with surgical skill.

That cat was fucking sick. In more ways than one.

So was I.
(ArfurDaley Must try harder., Fri 22 Jun 2007, 17:50, Reply)

a very old person
naked.
( Gerbilinafishtank Gerbil in a fish tank...TURTLE POWER!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 17:37, Reply)

A Blow To The Head
A fatal blow.

One day as kids, my sister and I were enjoying the innocent sight of a lone pigeon pecking in the road.

A car came and broke the pigeon.

It made a big impression on us. We were very sad.
(Waspard has your wank bank account details, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 17:20, Reply)

Pred
My friend is Welsh and his name is Pred, but even that isn't the worst thing I've seen. It does involve him though.

He and I were travelling around in Vietnam. We took a 23 hour train journey up the coast and on the train was a 'food' trolley that was wheeled up and down by a wrinkly old woman.

She seemed rather too keen to get us to try an egg. I refused, but Pred accepted. He opened it up, and she cackled with laughter to see his face when he saw what was inside.

Vietnamese people don't seem to cook their eggs until the foetus inside is part-way through its development. So what Pred saw was a half-formed foetus (possibly pigeon) surrounded by some white and yolk. But that still isn't the worst thing I've ever seen.

No, seeing him eating it, in its entirety, was what nearly finished me off.

I instead opted for some sort of meat-and-rice dish and pretended it was chicken.
( thealternativefact, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 17:19, Reply)

puppy love
Today: Mr Baudelaire's scabbed shins: 9 black labrador puppies... The sight of said puppies swarming all over and enthusiasically nibbling and licking the scabs off my boyfriend's bleeding shins will stay with me for very long time
(baudelaire, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 17:13, Reply)

Wish I was this patient...
Walking down the street merrily one day and I notice a huge lump of steaming dog shit. Naturally I was taken back a bit by this site but walked on and continued with my childhood exploits.

A day or so later I am walking past the place again and notice that someone has gone through the effort of using the dog shit to draw a huge penis on the pavement complete with cum spurting detail.

Click "I Like This" to see a pic of the shit laced cock yourself.
(JC_Green Lacks humour, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 17:11, Reply)